


31 days (August) fanfic challenge - MMFD

by Fanningon



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: 31 Day Challenge, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-10 12:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 79,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanningon/pseuds/Fanningon
Summary: So I decided to do this writing challenge, but I'm gonna change the order.  All MMFD1.	Shameless Fluff2.	A rare pair3.	Family4.	Something you don’t ship5.	Friends6.	A fandom you love but never write for7.	The bad thing that no one talks about8.	A long lost OTP9.	An Argument10.	An AU11.	Smut12.	Major Character Death13.	Hurt/Comfort14.	100 Word Drabble15.	Past, Present, Future all in the same fic16.	A piece from your life as fanfiction17.	Breaking Up18.	Involve your pet19.	Domestic Bliss20.	A Never Finished fic21.	A Holiday Celebration22.	A One-shot off of a longer fic23.	Under the age of 18/in their youth24.	A challenge given to you by someone else25.	Pre-Relationship26.	A crossover27.	Substance Use - Alcohol, drugs, etc.28.	A character doing your real life job29.	Graphic Depictions of Violence30.	Role Reversal31.	Gift ficTHE PROMPT:https://thecheshirecass.tumblr.com/post/163729079612/joufancyhuh-yourlocalpriestess-and-i-have-come





	1. Day 1 - Shameless Fluff

 

Rae dangled her foot over the edge of the bed, letting it swing back and forth slightly, in rhythm to the music. 

She grinned as he moved his finger down her skin writing poetry on her chest. 

She had her head leaning on his chest, lying on her back, his arm under her head, comfortably holding her.  His other arm stretched up above his head, the hand under his pillow.

The sun streamed in through the window – the first warm day of the season. 

“We should go to the beach if this keeps up.”  Rae said softly, her hand going to his, gently drawing patterns on the back of his hand. 

She loved lying naked with him like this.  Completely comfortable with each other. 

Finn made a noise of agreement, his eyes closed, his finger tracing along her collar bone. 

“What are ya thinking?”  She asked him.

“I think that if I lost me eyes tomorrow, I’d still be able to tell your body from someone else's.”  He answered. 

“Cos of me scars.”  Rae said with a slight frown, thinking unhappily that her fat would also distinguish her body.

“Cos I been learning your body, girl.”  He corrected.  “I been really paying attention to every part o’ you.”  He said.  “Cos I love you.” 

Rae’s grin returned and she looked up at the ceiling contently. 

“Love you too.”  She answered.

“It’s important,” Finn continued, “Cos I promised meself that when I knew ya well enough, I’d let meself ask ya to marry me.” 

Rae’s jaw dropped and his words hung in the silence that her surprise left in the room. 

“You gonna say something girl?”  His voice was nervous. 

“Um…”  Rae’s voice was higher than she would have liked.  “So… how close d’you reckon y’are?”  She asked, still staring at the ceiling. 

“Hmmm.”  Finn considered her question and started to laugh when she rolled over onto her stomach to look at his face.  “I think I’m getting close.”  He said as he ran his fingers along her jawline.  “But it’s not up to me.”

“You what?”  She scrunched up her face.

“Well how well do you think I know ya?”  He was again greeted with silence as Rae realised what was happening. 

Happy tears started to form in Rae’s eyes, but she swallowed them back and cleared her throat.

“Ah… well enough.”  She said, her eyes not leaving his.

And he broke out into a huge grin.

Rae was stunned when he brought his hand out from under his pillow – there was a ring box in it. 

“I’m still no good with words.”  He said, “So I know this isn’t as beautiful as it should be but… I love you Rae Earl.”  He took a deep breath.  But Rae wasn’t able to breathe, as the fingers of his hand deftly opened the box, his other hand still caressing her cheek.  “And I can’t imagine me life without ya.  Please marry me.” 

And for the first time, Finn got to see Rae speechless as she simply nodded happily, tears dripping from her eyes. 

She lunged forward and kissed him passionately, messily, sniffing and laughing and crying.

“Yes.”  She eventually squeaked out.

They were both ecstatically, blissfully happy as Finn slid the ring on her finger.


	2. Day 2 - A Rare Pair

****

“Babe are you alright?”  Chloe had followed her to the bathroom. 

She’d started crying during their lunch break. 

She’d been quieter than usual all day. 

“It’s Chop.”  Izzy answered.  “He said he wanted to take a break last week, and I was mad at him so I agreed… but now he says he’s done.”  She said. 

“Oh babe…”  Chloe said softly.  “I know it can be rough when-”

“No, it’s alright.”  Izzy sniffed and wiped her eyes.  “We been fighting so much lately.  Ever since he were such an arse to Archie.” 

“But they made up…”  Chloe didn’t understand.

“Aye but I saw something in him I didn’t like… he were so closed minded for bit.  He’s like that all the time.”  Izzy said, her eyes lowered.

“I think most people are.”  Chloe answered.

“You’re not.”  Izzy said, looking up at her. 

“I dunno Iz, I have me bad days.”  Chloe said with an awkward shrug.

“I haven’t seen ‘em.”  Izzy answered, “All I ever see in you is perfection.” 

“Well it’s not true.”  Chloe reassured her. 

“Chop said that too…”  Izzy sighed softly, “he said all I ever talked about were you.”  She added in a low voice, her eyes still on the ground. 

“Iz?”

“I guess… I guess…”  Izzy paused, not sure how to say what she wanted to say, “I guess, maybe, I’ve got, a little bit – just a little bit, mind – of a crush… on you.”  She raised her eyes slightly, wanting to see the look on Chloe’s face, expecting to see disgust, rejection, confusion…

But Chloe was blushing. 

“Iz… Isabelle…”  Chloe said and Izzy raised her face, bracing herself for a stern talking to about that kind of talk.  “I…”  Chloe cleared her throat.  There was an agonisingly long pause, Chloe lowering her eyes, her cheeks flushed red.  “Same.”  She said in a small voice, looking up at Izzy.  “I guess I got a small… insignificant… crush… on you.”  She mumbled, scared of what might happen next. 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

How they came to be kissing, neither of them knew. 

But both of them would gladly tell anyone listening just how wonderful that first kiss was. 

It was a story they pulled it out at parties.

They both told it form their own perspective on the day of their commitment ceremony.

They embarrassed the hall out of their kids with it.

And they told it again when they could finally get married.

They intended telling their grandkids all about it.

They’d tell anyone who’d listen (and even a few people who wouldn’t) about how the great love of their lives was realised in the girl’s bathroom at college. 

But for now, in the first trembling moments of that kiss, all they knew was the breathlessness of a long held, repressed desire, finally being given breath, light – life. 

“It was a happiness neither of them had ever known before.

And when the kiss finally ended, they stood there, surprised about the whole thing.

“Oh how are we gonna tell the gang?”  Izzy said with a worried expression, but Chloe shrugged.

“You know, I don’t care.  You’re me girl, that’s all that matters.” 


	3. Day 3 - family

Rae laid down on her bed and sat Sara on her belly.

“Like riding a horse.” She said to the baby and then pulled a face.  “Ugh.” She said, mentally making some unflattering comparisons between horses and herself.  “Stop that.”  She said out loud to herself and then looked at Sara.  “You listen to me little girl,” She said firmly, “You’re perfect – there’s nothing wrong with you.  and don’t you let this fucking world tell you otherwise… and don’t tell mum I swear in front of ya.”  

Sara gurgled happily, staring down at her.  

“There’s gonna be all sorts o’ people that are gonna try to tell you all sorts o’ stuff.  Bad stuff.  They’re gonna try and bring you down.  Make you feel like nothin’ – cos that’s how they feel.”  Rae told her baby sister, “And it’s gonna hurt every time some bastard thinks he can make himself feel big by making you feel small… cos sometimes it will get under ya skin – no matter how hard you try to be strong. And it’s not fair.  But you always gotta fight it – every minute of every day. No matter how tired ya get.”  Rae took a deep breath.  “Cos none o’ that will hurt one bit in comparison to the things you’ll tell yourself… the things you’ll do to yourself if you let them bastards take just one millimetre of your consciousness.  Don’t give any o’ yourself to ‘em – and don’t let ‘em take any of you down to their level.”  

Sara stared at her with a big serious expression.

“That’s the best wisdom I can give ya, kid.”  Rae said. “That and try not to have a big meal afore giving a blowjob… but you got a little while afore you gotta worry about that.”  

Rae reached up to touch her cute little nose but Sara grabbed her fingers happily.

“And who knows, you might not even be interested in boys.  And don’t let anyone tell you there’s anything even remotely wrong with that.”  Rae continued.  

Sara put Rae’s fingers in her mouth and gummed them curiously.  

“There’s so much this world has to offer.  And there’ll be people telling you to limit yourself - that some things aren’t for you. Don’ listen to ‘em, girl.”  Rae said, “you can do anything you set your mind to.”  

“You know I used to tell you that all the time.”

Rae looked over to her door to see her mum standing there with a few bags of shopping.  

“Although I waited to give you the life advice until after 6 months.”  She added with a wry grin as she came into the room.  “I got you some supplies for university.”  Linda said, putting some bags on Rae’s table.  “Did you bathe her?”

“Aye.”  Rae answered as Linda picked Sara up.  “Mum… thanks.”  

“Not a problem, my girl.” Linda said, putting a hand on Rae’s cheek momentarily.

“I’m gonna miss ya.” Rae was a little choked up.  

“You make it sound like I’m going to die.”  Linda said. “I’ll just be in Tunisia, you‘ll just be at university.  We’ll write, we’ll call… we’ll visit, yeah?”

“Yeah.”  Rae got up and gave her mother a hug.  

“It’ll be alright.” Linda soothed.  “You’ll see.”  

“Uh huh.”  Rae said, her face buried in her mother’s neck.

“It’s time for you to make your own decisions, to find your own path in life.  There’s nothing you can’t do, Rae – never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“Thanks mum.”


	4. Day 4 - Something you don’t ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don’t ship Archie and Finn because I ship rinn and because I think it’s important for queer folk who have straight friends to not have everyone make assumptions and innuendos about it – that shit contributes to the isolation of queer kids

 

Every vertebra on his spine.

Every.

Single.

One.

Finn ran his finger down Archi’s spine and Archie shivered with delight. 

But what Finn was really after was to kiss down that spine. 

“We’re gonna be late!”  Archie laughed. 

“I don’t care.”  Finn said, leaving a trail of saliva down his spine.  “I wanna kiss you all over.” 

“I know you and Rae haven’t been close since she moved to Australia, but she’s still one of me best mates.”  Archie said, “And her getting married is-”

“I know.”  Finn sighed and flopped back on the bed.  “I’m happy for her.”

“You sure?”  Archie asked sympathetically.  “I know that-”

“Yeah I loved her.  But that were years ago Arch.  I’m in love with you now.”  Finn answered with a sigh, “I know you always worried I still felt something for her, and to be honest there is some lingering stuff… mostly I just miss her friendship.  I wish we’d been able to reconnect.”  He pulled a face, “But I never wanted you to think that I were still in love with her.”

“I know you love me.”  Archie said, “I was worried you missed her.  You know I’m not jealous of the way you felt about her… or friendship you two should have.” 

“You are literally the best boyfriend anyone could ever have.”  Finn said, “I have missed our music talks.”  He admitted. 

“I know!”  Archie laughed, “You’re not nearly as subtle as you think you are.”

“What?”  Finn laughed.

“I’m never gonna like some of the stuff you like hun.  Never.”  He said, “You need a Rae to appreciate your musical genius – you 2 should Skype regularly.”  Archie got up and kissed Finn.  “Now,” he said firmly, “We are on holiday.  In a beautiful country.  With stunning beaches,” he opened the hotel room curtains, “Right at or doorstep.”  He looked out at the beach, “And our good friend Rae is getting married today to the love of her life.”  He turned back to Finn, “So let’s enjoy ourselves… and be on time.” 

“Why are you always right?”  Finn sighed. 

“That’s my genius.”  Archie said and returned to the bed.  “And when the wedding is over.  “He crawled onto the bed, “We can come back here, tipsy, and make love in the water.” 

“Oh, you know what I want.”  Finn said and Archie kissed him, Finn leaning back on the bed, Archie following him to be lying on top of him. 

“Hmmm, we’re going to be late…”  Archie grumbled, in between kisses. 

“I’m sure Rae’ll be late.”  Finn said, pulling him closer. 

“Not that late.”  Archie laughed, but he didn’t stop kissing his man. 

Fin groaned.

“You’re right.”  He said and it was Archie’s turn to flop onto the bed.  “Let’s get dressed and go be good friends to a world-class woman who deserves it.”  Archie gave him a warm smile.  “We can pick this up later.”  Finn cocked an eyebrow saucily. 

“We will pick this up later.” 

“Hey Arch.”  Finn said as Archie got up.

“Yeah?”

“I love you, you know?”

“Yeah I know.  I love you too.” 


	5. Day 5 - Friends

 

Chop dropped to one knee in front of her and Rae raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

He stared up at her, the silence growing awkward. 

“Yes?”  Rae asked slowly, “What is it?” 

“Fuck.”  Chop grunted and reached his hand into his back pocket.  But whatever he was trying to pull out of his pocket got caught in there.  “Oh for fuck’s sake.”  He grumbled and yanked at his pocket while Rae stood there, staring down at him, folding her hands patiently. 

Finally he reefed it out of his pocket and practically flung his hand up towards her face so she could see it. 

“It’s a box…”  Rae told him and he grumbled again and opened it.  But the opening was facing him and Rae tried not to sigh when Chop didn’t seem to notice. 

He stared up at her, grinning expectantly, the box still thrust up to her.  but she still couldn’t see what was in it. 

Silence.

Rae staring at him. 

Chop’s smile fell. 

His eyes dropped to the box.

“Shit.”  He turned it around.

It was a beautiful engagement ring. 

Rae was silent, waiting for him to say something.

So Chop gestured wildly towards the ring, nodding emphatically, waving his hand at it and somehow shrugging as well. 

It was kind of impressive,  Chop’s uncoordinated attempt at communicating his question was kind of hypnotic and Rae simply stared at him, making no reply for some time. 

Eventually she spoke.

“What are you trying to say Chop?”

“Fucking marry me girl!”  He said defensively, motioning at the ring again, almost angrily. 

“Chop…”  Rae tried to think of a delicate way to say what needed to be said.  But she could think of none.  “You can't ask her like that!” 

“I know!”  He cried miserably and rocked back off his knee, thumping own onto his arse.  Rae sighed and sat down with him.  “I just get all nervous.  What if she says no?”

“Izzy isn’t going to say no.”  Rae soothed, patting his back gently. 

“I fucking love her Rae, I fucking love her!”  Chop exclaimed.  And somehow Rae understood all the depths of his soul, his dreams, his fears – just form those words. 

“I know Chop.”  Rae answered gently, “You said you wanted it to be special?”

“Yeah.  She deserves special.”  Chop chewed on his thumbnail and stared off. 

“Well… you have to think about what would make it special for Izzy.”  Rae said, “Don’t think about what’s considered special or romantic by everyone else.  Think about what she likes.” 

“She got a real thing for the river front.”  Chop said.

“Alright… so maybe something near the river… or on the river?”  Rae said and Chop nodded slowly.

“Aye, she always talked about getting a row boat…”  He said, suddenly excited, “And she like sweet wine and I could do a cheese and fruit platter with it and just row her around the river!”  He said, “And then I could just subtly place the box in front of her.”  He said, “And I wouldn’t need to know what to say cos she’d get it.”

“But you’re gonna have to say something Chop…”

“I’ll tell her I love her more than life itself.”  Chop answered, “And I wanna spend me life with her.  If she don’t mind.” 

“Sounds like you got some organising to do.”  Rae told him. 

“Aye that I do!”  Chop jumped to his feet and then instantly bent down to kiss her on the cheek.  “Thanks Rae – you’re the best friend a bloke could ever have!” 

She watched him leave, a huge grin on her face.

“Another wedding to go to.”  She sighed happily. 


	6. Day 6 - A fandom you love but never write for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to stay in the MMFD fandom for this challenge – so here’s a crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s not so much a fandom I love, as a show I love but never write for. But it’ll have to do, cos the only fandom I love is the emus!

 

Rae looked at the darkened manor house.

“How does Sunnydale have so many houses like this?”  She asked shaking her head. 

“Cheap real estate.”  Chloe answered meekly, the big wooden cross clutched to her chest.

“Yeah cos nothing drops the price of housing like a weekly slaughter.”  Archie added, the big duffel bag of supplies slung over his shoulder.

“Alright, we get in, we get out.”  Rae said.

“I can’t believe they kidnapped Izzy and Chop.”  Chloe said worriedly.

“You know them well?”  Rae asked and Chloe shook her head.

“Just from school.  But they could be us.”  She looked at Archie who looked away, “We are also from school, and we could be dating… or not…”  She continued awkwardly, “A-a-and vampires might decide to just take us from a car one day.”  She finished in a soft voice, lowering her eyes.  Archie kept looking away awkwardly and took a deep breath when Chloe had finished talking.

“But you and Archie wouldn’t be making out in a car on a school night.”  Rae said with a grin at the thought; Chloe took her school work too seriously for that, “You’ve been best friends since you were kids.”  She added and Archie nodded.

“That’s right.”  Archie said, “Best friends.”  He looked over to Chloe and Chloe gave him a big grin but Rae could see the longing in her eyes. 

“Anyway, reports said the vampire or vampires, brought them to this house.”  Rae said, “So we better get in there before they start chowing down.”  She cocked her head to the side, “Why do we say chowing down…?  It’s not like we could chow up, is it?  What exactly is chowing down?”

“Questions I ask myself every day.”  Archie answered, “What is the nature of chowing?”

“Do you remember in 1st grade how I thought that chowing meant eating a chow chow dog?”  Chloe asked and Archie started to laugh.

“And you remember how you cried when-?”  Archie said but they both broke out into giggles, cutting off his words.

“And then your mum-”  Chloe again broke out into giggles, Archie joining in.

“Anyway.”  Rae said, turning back to the house.  “The stakes are high.”  She said, gripping her stake in her hand, and starting to creep towards the house. 

 

*

 

Finn sat with his feet up on the table, cleaning under his nails with a dagger.

“Ugh.”  He groaned loudly.  “Shut up!”  He said and the whimpering from his 2 hostages softened.  “I’m not gonna eat ya.”  He reassured them.  “Maybe.”  He said under his breath when his stomach grumbled. 

Izzy and Chop shared a quick terrified look.  Chop tried to comfort Izzy as best he could.  But they were both tightly bound, their mouths taped. 

But other than being terrified, they were completely unharmed. 

Finn looked up suddenly, a small grin coming to his lips.  He’d heard that-

A soft creaking… someone was downstairs.

“About time.”  He said as he jumped up, from seated, to crouching among the shadows on one of the exposed beams of the high celling. 

 

*

 

Rae slowly creeped into the room.  She saw Izzy and Chop, both of them squirming and grunting loudly. 

She looked around and came into the room, Chloe and Archie followed her into the room. 

“Get them out of here.”  Rae said; she could sense that a vampire was nearby, and she held her stake ready. 

Chloe and Archie rushed across the room to Izzy and Chop, while Rae, stood ready for battle, in the middle of the room, slowly turning.  She knew the vampire was in here… she searched the large rooms shadows, its nooks, its crannies…

And then there was a soft thud behind her.

The door was behind her.

And she realised. 

He’d been hiding on the ceiling. 

Chloe squeaked and held out the wooden cross, her pale face blanching. 

Rae turned to see him standing between them and the door.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”  He said, a smug, satisfied smile on his face.  “I’ve wanted to meet you.”

“What vampire wants to meet the slayer?”  Rae asked. 

“This one does.”  Finn answered, his eyes drank her in slowly.  His look was predatory, to be sure.  But Rae perceived something more in it… something sexual. 

“Have you got a death wish?”  Rae asked and Finn just grinned even more. 

“On the contrary.”  He said.  “But I do think you and I are gonna dance beautifully, slayer.”  His eyes had a sadistic glint, and Rae knew he’d be the kind of vampire that was hard to kill.  The kind that would keep coming for her, delighting in the hunt…

“This isn’t a dance.”  She said, holding her hands up, one gripping the stake, the other balled into a fist.

“Oh that’s where you’re so wrong, girl.” 

And with no other word he came for her.

They fought. 

Hard.

Every move she had, he had a counter move for it. 

He blocked her blows.

But she too, blocked his.

Chloe and Archie worked to get Izzy and Chop free as Rae tried to slam her stake into Finn’s heart.  But he blocked the blow and aimed a fist for her face.  She blocked that blow…

As soon as Izzy and Chop were free, Chloe started to guide them from the room.

“We can’t leave her here with him?”  Archie said and Chloe shook her head.

“She told us to get them out!”  Chloe said.  “She’s the slayer Arch, we’re not.” 

Archie had to accept her words and they fled, Archie dropping the duffel bag, opened, at the door for Rae, should she need any supplies.

Finn and Rae fought brutally.

Blood was drawn.

Finn enjoyed it.

Even Rae started to enjoy the fight… Normally she was all business.  Get it done – don’t get dead…

But there was something about this fight-

And then he stopped, jumping back up into the rafters.

“See you around… Slayer.”  He said with a lustful grin before smashing through the skylight and disappearing into the night.

She stared after him for a long moment before sighing.

“Another new nemesis.”  She grumbled as she grabbed the duffel bag and headed out to find the others.


	7. Day 7 - The bad thing that no one talks about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> content warning self harm mentioned

 

“Why are we in a tattoo parlour?”  Rae asked, looking around at all the drawings on the walls.

“You stopped swimming.”  Finn answered simply and Rae turned to look at him. 

“You what?”

“I know it’s always been a struggle for you to wear-”

“Alright Finn, this isn’t the place for that talk, issit?”  She said, trying to sound both stern and playful.  She didn’t want this to be a fight. 

They’d been fighting about this too much lately. 

“You said people stare.  More now that you’re older than when you was younger.”  He said and Rae looked away. 

“Aye they do, and I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Rae, we moved to Australia – some of the most beautiful beaches in the world are on our doorstep… and you just stare at them longingly.”

“I’m working on it, alright?  Can you stop pushing?”

“I’m not trying to push, I’m just saying!”

“Well stop saying!”

“You’re unhappy, Rae…”

“Like I said, I’m working in it alright?”

“I know ya are… but I love ya girl.  So I wanna help.”

“Ya Can’t.”  Rae mumbled. 

“This is me mate Fi-Fi.”  He said and Rae turned Finn and gave him a surprised look before turning to see that a woman had come to the counter.  Rae gave her a warm smile.

“Hello.”  She said simply, not knowing what else she was supposed to say. 

“Hi there.”  She gave Rae a grin and then looked at Finn, “So I tweaked your design a little do it could work like you wanted.”  She said and laid a picture of a beautiful phoenix on the counter.  Rae stared at it in awe.  “This one took a little longer to fix, “Fi-Fi put a picture of a gorgeous dragon down on the counter next to the phoenix, their colours complemented each other, and their positions seemed to make them almost slot together, though they were separate art works.  “Skin doesn’t work like that – the details of the scale were too small…”  She pointed to how she’d changed them. 

“What d’ya think Rae?”  Finn asked and She shook her head slowly.

“I think Fi-Fi is really talented.  These are beautiful!” 

“Actually, Finn designed these- I just tweaked them so they’d work.”  Fi-FI said and Rae looked at Finn in awe. 

“I’m sorry Rae…”  He said softly, his hand going to her arm and gently caressing her skin, “I know this isn’t the place but… I was thinking… you’re so self-conscious about ya scars… it’s stopping ya from doing things ya love… from living ya life.”  He was saddened by how this was still affecting her – a decade later.  “Maybe…”

“Your husband designed these tattoos to go over your scars.”  Fi-FI said, “I’ve done a lot of work like this before.”  She said, “It’s kind of my thing.”  She pulled down the shoulder of her shirt and they saw a beautiful floral tattoo.  “Third degree burn scars.”  She said, “You’d never know it, right?”  She grinned.  “I’ve helped dozens of people.  Women who had acid thrown on them, burns like me… but mostly self-harmers like you.  They’ve learned better coping techniques, and they stopped doing it years ago… but still there’s the constant reminder.  And the judgement of others…” 

“Back then, not as many people knew what it was.  They looked at my scars and thought I’d been in an accident, not that I…”  Rae lowered her eyes, “Nowadays everyone knows about self-harm… they know what those scars look like.” 

“I know.”  Fi-FI said and took Rae’s hands.  “Let me help you finish what you started.”  She said, “You started this road to recovery.  You’ve stopped doing it… now let’s remove the constant reminder.” 

“You can really tattoo over them?”

“I can.”  Fi-FI said.  “Good tattoo design, good tattooist – it can be done.” 

Rae looked to Finn, who was looking worried about what she might say.  He knew this wasn’t his area of expertise.  But she gave him a watery smile.

“Thank you.”  Her voice was thick with emotion. 


	8. Day 8 - A long-lost OTP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really have any long-lost OTPs in the MMFD universe. So I guess I’ll just write about a pairing that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while now.
> 
> So this happened in a world where Archie has come out before any of the gang are dating anyone. Chop was weird at first, but eventually kissed him just as it happened in the show. We pick up a few weeks after that. 
> 
> _____
> 
> I wrote the first fic and then thought of an actual long-lost OTP in MMFD, so I wrote it too. 
> 
> We have 2 fics for this day.

FIC 1

 

Archie’s lips tingled the moment he sat down at the table. 

Archie watched him smash some chips into his mouth and instantly start joking with Rae. 

Archie cleared his throat and looked away.

_Stop thinking about it, ya prat, you know he ain’t thinking about it._

“…innit, Arch?”  Chop was saying and Archie came back to reality.

“What?”  He asked and Chop sighed, frustrated. 

“I said it’s fucking Beltane soon, Innit, Arch?”  Chop repeated exactly what he had said.

“Yeah I saw the flyers… some local pagan group’s having a festival.”  Archie answered.

“Aye but what they don’t tell ya on them flyers, is that Beltane is a Celtic fertility festival.”  Chop said as if that would mean something to all of them. 

“So?”  Finn asked with a grumpy sneer.

“Fucking dopey cunts, the lot o’ ya!”  Chop complained, “Everyone knows the Celts used fertility festivals to run off into the woods with their lovers – spend the night making love under the moon.”  He said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Fat lot o’ good it’ll do us, “Chloe said, “We’re all single.”

“Jesus fucking christ on a fucking sidecar – have I gotta do all the fucking thinking for you lot?”  He complained.  “We’ll find lovers there.”  He said and gave Finn a wink.

“Oh right?”  Rae said in disbelief.  “If you think I’m going to go stumbling around in the forest with some fucking stranger to-”

“Don’t have to be a stranger.”  Chop said with a grin, noticing the way Finn was looking at her. 

“Ah of course!” Rae said sarcastically, “Why didn’t I think of that?  I’ll just fuck one of me mates in a forest, hopefully we won’t get some fucking twigs up our arses!” 

Archie watched everyone argue back and forth.  Rae said she wouldn’t go, so Finn said he wouldn’t – of course.  Izzy and Chloe seemed happy to go along with whatever the gang wanted.  And Chop was adamant they’d all go – calling on Archie to back him up. 

And what else could Archi do but back Chop up.  He’d back any of Chop’s plans without a thought. 

Eventually Rae was persuaded, and plans were made. 

 

*

 

The night was warm, the fire bright, the festival fun and easy-going, the location beautiful.  A forest clearing, music, food cooked right over the fire, laughter.  And then people were leaping over the flames…

The feel of the night was intoxicating, and as Chop had predicted, people started to disappear into the woods. 

Archie knew he’d end up spending the night alone in the car, waiting for his friends to show up in the morning. 

Surprisingly, Izzy had been the first to go.  She’d been invited by a stranger, but she’d gone anyway.  And not long after Chloe was gone. 

Archie could see that Rae was dreading being left behind.  Finn, sitting very close to Rae, had already turned down a few offers.  HE eventually started telling people that he was here with Rae so they’d atop asking.  Rae blushed and laughed it off… but a few moment later he said everyone would be expecting them to go off into the forest together, since they had come here together.  Rae had nodded, trying to hide her nerves.

Archie and Chop were left grinning, watching them go

“About time.”  Chop said and Archie nodded.  “Well that just leaves us, lad!”  Chop said with a toothy grin.

“What?”  Archie squeaked.  He cleared his throat.  “S’pose you gotta hunt down some lass to-”

“Nah!”  Chop said, “I’m not gonna abandon ya here lad.”  He said and took Archie’s hand.

Archie felt his heart leap up onto his mouth. 

“Oh…”  He managed to say breathily.

“Aye”  Chop said getting up and pulling Archie to his feet, “Let’s go into the forest together,” His grin was normally infectious, but Archie felt so nervous, “And scare the shit outta everyone we find!”  He laughed and pulled Archie towards the forest. 

Archie’s heart sank.  But he couldn’t help but laugh at Chop as he giggled with wild abandon, both of them crashing through the undergrowth.

But they never did find anyone to scare.

They stopped, under an old oak tree, both panting heavily, still giggling, still holding hands.  Chip pulled Archie to him and just like that his lips were on Archie’s lips again. 

It was a deep, hungry kiss, their lips parting, their tongues only just daring to gently skim each other once, before Chop; pulled away abruptly, looking down.

“Sorry… I just…”  Chop said, his face scrunching up with confusion, “I couldn’t stop thinking about-”

“When you kissed me?”  Archie finished his sentence.

“Yeah…”  Chop stared into Archie’s eyes.  “I think I might of liked it a bit too much.”

“How can you like a kiss too much?”  Archie asked, still breathless from that kiss. 

“Cos I’m not-” Chop suddenly stopped, “Or maybe I am?”  He looked thoroughly confused, his eyes focussing on nothing at all.  “But I like girls?” 

“Bisexuality is an actual thing.”  Archie responded, “There’s not just gay and straight…”  He told Chop, “You can like boys and girls.” 

Chop looked back at Archie’s face.  His beautiful face.

“Aye, that sounds more like it.”  Chop nodded.  “But right now, I can only think about you…”

“Same.”  Archie was thrilled.  He was about to tell Chop all about the way he felt-

Chop’s lips were on his again, his hands on Archie’s hips, pulling him closer.

Perhaps now was not the time to talk…

 

_______

 

 

FIC 2

 

He felt the contraband in his pocket and looked around for narcs.  He knew people were always watching, ready to hand him over to the authorities.

But he had a very important mission to attend to. 

Quietly, one might say silently, Danny crept through the grounds of the hospital. 

He was determined to not get caught.  He had gotten caught last time, and he’d been worried sick for days.  Until now – now he had a chance to make another attempt.  He had to make sure they were okay… and give them… his hand gently stroked his pocket.  This was important.

When he finally approached his target, he was doing so on his hands and knees, creeping through some bushes.  But that was alright – he wasn’t afraid of spiders. 

When at last he popped his head out of the bushes-

“OH!”  Tix cried, frightened.  “What are you doing?”  Relieved. 

“What are you doing?”  Danny asked, slowly standing up, his eyes darting around everywhere. 

“I always come out here after lunch.”  She said.  “They always try to make me eat so much bread.”  She sighed and then tried, and failed, to not look like she felt guilty. 

“But how did you get here?”  Danny was bewildered.

“I just walked out the front door?”  She was confused by his questions.

“They just let you out?”  He was amazed.

“We’re all allowed to walk around the grounds.”  Tix said, even more confused. 

“Last time I tried to come out, they stopped me.”  He frowned.

“That’s cos you always feed the ducks bread – they don’t like it.  Says it fouls up the water in the pond.”  Tix explained and Danny sat down on the bench beside her.  “’course, they don’t know that I feed them too…”  She intimated and then threw a small chunk of bread to the ducks. 

Danny grinned and took his contraband from his pocket. 

Bread.

A lot of bread. 

They fed the ducks in silence for a while. 

“We should make this a regular thing.”  Tix said eventually, her heart skipping a beat. 

“Make what a regular thing?”

“Us, hanging together – alone… feeding the ducks.”  Tix suggested hopefully.

Danny turned to look at her and Tix held her breath, waiting for his reply.

“I’d like that.”  He said, a big grin creeping onto his face, “I’d like that a lot. 

She put her hand on his and he flipped it over so they could hold hands, both of them grinning, they looked back to the lake.

“’Course it’s harder to feed the ducks like this…”  Tix noted and looked down at their clasped hands. 

“We’ll make it work.”  Danny said and then used his teeth to tear off a chunk of bread.  He threw it to the ducks and then turned to grin at Tix again.  “Want me to tear your bread for ya?”  He asked, remembering that she didn’t like bread.

“Yes please.”  She handed it to him and he tore a chunk off with his teeth and handed it back to her. 

She threw it to a duck and they watched it eat.

“This is perfect.”  Danny sighed happily and squeezed her hand gently.

“Yeah.” 


	9. Day 9 - An Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this fandom has had enough arguments between Rae and Finn – we’ve watched them break up twice.
> 
> So instead of an argument I present you – little fights.

 

“What?  Why?”

“It’s your birthday!”

“Finn!  We are poor as fuck!”

“Aye but it’s your birthday!”

 

*

 

“But I like it long!”

“It’s pissing me off!”

“I mean… it’s your body and you can do what you want but… I like it long…”

“It’s getting cut off Finn!  Get used to it!”

“Argh!”

 

*

 

“Horse racing?  Why?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“But… look at them hats…”

“I don’t give a fuck about the hats, look at the horses!”

“We can’t afford to make a bet…”

“1 quid Rae… c’mon!”

“Oh god Finn… really?  It’s throwing money down the drain.”

“But it’s fun – we can yell at a horse!”

“Oh jesus… fine…”

 

*

 

“Just once!  Just once I wish you’d put your fucking shoes on the shoe stand!”

“I’m just gonna put ‘em on again tomorrow!”

“Yes but tonight, I gonna fucking trip over ‘em when I take the fucking rubbish out – cos you left ‘em in the fucking doorway!”

“Why can’t you just see ‘em there?”

“Why can’t you just put ‘em away?”

“Fine!  I will!”

“Good!  I’m fucking glad!”

 

*

 

“But I like your little curls!”

“It’s too much fucking effort!”

“I can wash it for you!”

“Rae, I’m not a little baby who needs his hair washing.”

“Please don’t cut it off!”

“It’s gone!”

“Nooooo!”

 

*

 

“It’s literally the worst song ever made.”

“You say that in a world that had Justin Beiber in it.”

“I said what I said.”

“You’re really gonna stand by that?”

“I am.”

“Cos it’s not that bad a song… I kinda like it.”

“You’re fucking joking.”

“I’m not.” 

 

*

 

“Classic white paste.”

“Cool blue gel.”

“Classic white paste.”

“Cool blue gel.”

“Classic white paste.”

“Cool blue gel.”

“Classic white paste.”

“Cool blue gel.”

“Look, it’s called toothPASTE for a reason!”

“Yeah will I’ll take my toothgel over that shite any day.”

 

*

 

“Aye but think of the beaches!”

“I’m more concerned with all the animals that are gonna bite me fucking face off!”

“Ok, so not Australia for the honeymoon then.”

 

*

 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!  PUT THE FUCKING LID DOWN!”

“Sorry!”

 

*

 

“’Left 4 Dead’ or ‘Army of 2’?”

“I kinda feel like the ‘Splinter Ce;;’ game we was playing – bag and tag them!”

“Yeah but it kinda sucks you can’t play the main storyline in co-op.”

“Yeah but I like the co-op games so it don’t matter.”

“I just feel like ‘Left 4 Dead’.”

“Why didn’t you just say you wanted to shoot up zombies rather than test your skills as part of an amazing spy duo?”

“Cos I wanted to know what you wanted.”

“No – you wanted me to want what you want.”

“So what if I did?”

“It don’t work like that.”

“So what’a we do about choosing a game?”

“Rock paper scissors?”

“I’d rather wrestle you – whoever gets the 3 count wins.”

“No cos you always fucking win!”

“I know!”

 

 


	10. Day 10 - An AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve done a couple of AUs where rinn meet in different situations… so for this one I decided to do an actual Alternative Universe – like a parallel universe. Not just this universe but Rinn meet in a different way in a world that is much the same as our current world… no, they meet in a whole other universe.
> 
> Day 27 - graphic depictions of violence - is part 2 to this

 

Finn sighed loudly as he headed out the door. 

“All hail the Great Old Ones.”  He intoned as the outside world greeted him. 

It was customary to do this, and to then close your eyes and say a silent prayer that today would not be the day that they’d decide to consume you. 

His prayer finished Finn headed to the pub.  Archie and Chop would be meeting him there. 

 

*

 

Rae finished typing up her email, encrypted it and sent it out over the dark net.  She slipped her USB out of the computer and looked around the library.  Chloe was keeping look at the door.  This late at night there were few people coming to a library when they could be at the pub or night clubs.  People partied a lot more nowadays.  Life was short – it should be enjoyed.

Although Cthulhu had apparently called on his brethren to be more careful with their consumption; he wanted to preserve the ecosystems on Earth.  That’s what the Church weekly flyer had said anyway.  Their psychics got messages from Cthulhu for his subjects.  Rae wasn’t sure how much she believed it.

Although, when Cthulhu had come to London, sitting in the Thames for 2 weeks, lording over his subjects, she couldn’t deny that he was terrifying and impressive.  And very real.  But psychics?  Rae scrunched up her face and gathered her things. 

“Done?”  Chloe asked, still looking out across the empty street. 

“Aye.”  Rae said.

“All hail the Great Old Ones.”  They said in unison as they headed out.  They stopped and said their prayers before heading to their separate cars, both making sure no one was watching.

Rae threw her things on the back seat of her car before getting in and driving off. 

 

*

 

_‘Scientists were blessed by Yig, the Great Serpentine God, today when he allowed them to perceive a cure for all known types of cancer.’_

Archie, Chop and Finn watched the news and sipped their beers. 

Archie had noticed that the Gods were wiping out disease – they needed more humans to consume, so disease couldn’t be allowed to take them. 

Chop’s missus, Izzy, owned the bar, and was working hard, keeping the patrons in their cups admirably.  They had only met 3 months ago.  But life was short, so people married quickly, had kids soon – hoping to get in as many life experiences as possible before they were consumed. 

Everyone was consumed in the end.

Few lived to 50.  Finn knew of only 3 people who were over 45. 

Apparently the Great Old Ones tried to consume the elderly more than the youth.  But what constituted being elderly was getting younger and younger. 

“I read somewhere that scientists believe that there’s endless parallel universes out there.”  Archie said as the news turned to sports.  “Do you think there’s a world out there were the Old Ones didn’t come back from their slumber to claim the Earth?”  He asked and Finn shrugged while Chop scrunched up his face.

“I can’t imagine what it’s be like.”  Chop said.

“Not much different I reckon.”  Finn said gloomily. 

“Well your da would still be alive.”  Archie said and Finn just took a long swig of beer.

“Yeah, thanks for that.”  Finn grumbled.

“Sorry.”  Archie lowered his eyes.

“They’d probably just have different deities killing them.”  Finn said.

“What if they didn’t?”  Archie asked.

‘Then they’d just kill each other on behalf of their deities.”  Finn retorted. 

“Go’ you’re a fucking bag o’ sunshine today, aren’t ya?”  Chop said and Finn sighed.

“You said you prayed to Idh-yaa and she granted you a mate the next day.”  Finn said, his eyes going to Izzy.

“Yeah.”  Chop nodded, “They’re not all bad, our Gods.”  He noted. 

“You pray to the Great Goddess, the Mighty Mother?”  Archie asked and Finn nodded. 

“Nothing.”  He sighed.  “I been waiting all day to meet someone that might be my mate…”  He sighed.  “I’m 22… getting old to be single.”

“Try being gay.”  Archie said, “At least scientists are letting us contribute to the upkeep of the population through sperm donation though.”  He said, “I’d hate to do it the old-fashioned way.”

“Apparently they’re farming your kids.”  Chop said, “Cthulhu wants to farm humans.  People at work are talking about making it compulsory to donate for everyone.” 

“It’s probably a good idea.”  Archie said, “Those artificial wombs mean we can just grow people for the Great Old Ones to consume.”

“Don’t seem right.”  Finn mumbled.

“We’ll grow ‘em without a fully formed brain.  They’d never know what was going on.”  Chop said; he worked with fertility scientists.  It was a huge industry.  People wanted to have a lot of kids – it appeased the Gods.  And everyone noted that people who had had a lot of children didn’t seem to be consumed quite so young as those that didn’t. 

Suddenly there was coldness in the air and a dark figure walked into the bar.

“Fuck, I didn’t know that Nyarlathotep was in England.”  Archie said and they all snuck a glance at the shadowy figure with the outline of a man as he stalked through the bar.  They all quickly looked away – it was always best to mind your own business.

“I didn’t think Outer Gods were allowed in the same city as the Mate or Children of Cthulhu.”  Chop said.

“Oh that’s right, Cthylla is in the English Channel right now!”  Archie said.

“Last seen in the Strait of Dover.”  Finn added.

“That’s close enough for Nyarlathotep to not be allowed here.”  Archie said. 

“Iz…”  Chop leaned over to his wife.  “Close the bar honey.  Shit’s about to go down.” 

There was a loud groaning, as if echoing from the depths of the Earth.

“Cthulhu knows.”  Izzy said softly, her eyes on Nyarlathotep.  “Alright, everyone out!”

People started to flee as Nyarlathotep came to the bar. 

“Will you not serve me a drink?”  Nyarlathotep asked, his voice raspy and ancient. 

“You know I can’t my Lord Nyarlathotep.”  Izzy said respectfully, her eyes lowered, “Take it up with Cthulhu.” 

“You will pay.”  He whispered to her as Chop grabbed her hand and dragged her from the bar. 

Everyone ran to their cars – they all knew not to stay together.  Cthulhu was coming in a rage.  Any humans that helped Nyarlathotep would be punished and consumed. 

Finn figured he could go home and call his step-mum – she was working in Australia with the petrified victims of the Great Old One Ghatanothoa – scientists were hoping to un-petrify them.  The time difference between here and there meant that late at night was the best time to call her. 

Finn, still hurrying towards his car, waved to Archie as Archie drove off.  He saw Chop and Izzy running hard – Chop had walked from work to the bar.  They’d run all the way home.  Usually Finn or Archie took them home.  But not tonight.

Finn jumped into his car and drove off as quickly as he could, the groaning sound growing in intensity. 

Tomorrow this city block would no longer be in existence. 

But that worry was for tomorrow. 

Finn got away from the location before Cthulhu appeared.  And decided to drive for a bit before he went home.

He was stopped at a red light when he looked over and saw a man pulling a poster down frantically.

Finn had seen these posters all over the place.  There was a rebel group saying the Gods could be killed.  That humans could be free of them…

Finn didn’t know if he believed that – but he wanted to believe it. 

The Church had told them all that it was their duty to remove the posters and turn in anyone suspected of being part of this rebel group, so that the Gods could punish and consume them. 

The light went green and Finn kept driving, wondering what the rebels were even hoping to do – how could you kill a God?  And if you killed one of them, wouldn’t the others just come after you?

He wondered what he would even do if he met one of these rebels… would he turn them in like he was supposed to by law?  Or would he look away, let them go…

He wondered if he’d join them.

He was chuckling at that thought when the car in front of him slammed their brakes on to avoid a fox running out across the road.  Finn didn’t quite react quickly enough and rammed into it.

“Oh shit.”  He grumbled.  He sighed and put on his best ‘sorry’ face before getting out of the car. 

“Gods-fucking-damnit!”  He heard from the other car.  And apparently, she’d punched or slapped the steering wheel a few times by the sound of it, before she got out of the car.  A calm smile on her face.

“Hi friend.”  She said as she closed the door to her car, not looking up at him.

Finn froze.

She was beautiful.

So very beautiful.

Full figured, long dark hair, and what a face - so expressive… those lips…

“H-hi…” He stuttered, his voice cracking like he was going through puberty.  He felt himself blush slightly. 

“Ya hit me.” 

“Yeah.”  Finn said and started to step forward.  But quite suddenly she was steeping forward, not letting him get any closer to her car. 

“So what do you wanna do?”  She asked, “Does anyone even have insurance anymore?”  She joked.

“Unlikely!”  He laughed with her.  “Uh, maybe I can pay for the repairs?”  Finn asked and Rae sighed.

“I’ll just take whatever cash you’ve got.”  She said.  “I don’t have time to-”

“I’ve only got 20 quid on me-”

“Oh for sucks sake-”

“If you give me your number I can call you… we can meet up and I can give you more money… maybe we can… have dinner…?”

“You getting fresh?”  She asked amused. 

“Might be.”  Finn said with a grin. 

She looked him up and down, as if really seeing him for the first time.

“Yeah alright, I’ll give you my number.”  She said finally.  “You got a pen?”

“Ah… no…”  Finn said and she sighed.

“Alright, let me just-”  She headed back towards her car and Finn followed her, letting his eyes fall to her arse, beautifully encased in her snug jeans. 

Rae grabbed a pen from her handbag on the front passenger seat.

“My name’s Rae.”  She called as she grabbed her notebook.

“Finn.”  He said and Rae started.

He was closer than she’d expected. 

She turned to see him right behind her.  He saw the fear in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m not gonna-”  He tried to reassure her.  But he saw her eyes dart to the back seat of her car. 

His eyes followed hers and he saw them.

Pamphlets and posters… saying that the Gods could be killed.

“Oh Gods…” He whispered, “you’re a rebel.”

“Get in the car.”  She snapped, the pen held to his throat. 

 

 

 

 ___________

 

Hey there emus!  If you liked this weird story, maybe try out my Skyrim fic – it’s adventure fantasy like this one was (more adventurous than this though).  Some emus that have read it had let me know that they were surprised that they were enjoying it.  Cheers xo 

You can find the Skyrim fic on my AO3 - it's called Dragonborn  
or here on tumblr: <http://fanningon.tumblr.com/post/162531833281/skyrim-fanfic-masterpost>


	11. Day 11 - Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve written a lot of pretty pornographic smut for the mmfd fandom, so I’m gonna try something a little different for this challenge.

****

A touch.

A taste.

A moment in time.

Breathy sighs and fingers down spines.

The smell of sweat.

The groan of bedsprings – one minute overtaxed, the next minute all is still...

The sound of contentment.

Close.

So close.

The rhythm is slower now. 

Their eyes meet.

Deep inside.

Enraptured.  Embrace.  Envelope. 

A finger marvels at the feel of a jawline. 

And lips must come together. 

Tongues slide together sumptuously.

“I love you.”

Teeth graze along her collar bone.

“I love you so much.”

Pull him in closer. 

Hands running down over his perfectly pert arse. 

Not close enough.

Never close enough.

The heat. 

The need.

Hunger.

Passion. 

Fingers in hair now.

The tempo speeding up again.

It’s time for fireworks.

Music never sounded so sweet. 


	12. Day 12 - Major Character Death

 

She took his hand in hers.

She winced slightly as her fingers, swollen with arthritis closed around his thin fingers, marked with liver spots. 

She sighed and looked up at the machine, bipping away, telling her that he was still alive.  For now. 

She leaned forward and managed to not grumble about her achy back as she reached forward and gently stroked his bald head. 

He’d shaved his head when he’d started to go bald in his 40s.  He’d stopped bothering in his 60s.  now he was bald on top, thin grey hair on the sides.  There was more hair in his ears than his head – he always said that.  He joked that he wasn’t as sexy anymore but Rae always told him there was no one sexier in her eyes – no matter where his hair migrated to. 

It had been a massive heart attack.  He wasn’t expected to wake up. 

She looked at his face lovingly, tears behind her eyes as she thought about the last day they’d shared together.

They’d slept in together until that nice maid their daughter had insisted on paying for, came to clean the house for them.  baked beans on toast for breakfast – Finn had come to love that.  Rae was less enthralled by it, but she loved his enthusiasm.  She’d had plain toast. 

Finn had sat and watched the television, complained loudly about the world going more right wing, how it was getting too fucking hot, but admitting that music of the Indie persuasion was still quite good.  Rae had sat beside him with her laptop, slowly writing what she was sure would be her last novel.  Finn had retired years ago, but Rae was still writing.  Writing wasn’t exactly something you retired from.  Sales from her books supplemented their pension and superannuation very nicely – they were doing well – even with the constant increases in the price of living. 

The chef that their son insisted on paying for came to make them lunch and dinner then.  A big lunch with leftovers for dinner was how it usually went. 

They’d worked on a jigsaw together then, talking about the twins being due to be born soon, and getting together with friends and family next weekend – they’d both been looking forward to it. 

3 children.

8 grand-children.

21 great grand-children.

And the twins were going to be the first of the great, great grand-children.

He’d had a lung cancer scare in his 50s.  Then he’d quit smoking.

His first heart attack in his 70S…

And here he was 97 years old. 

Rae felt the first tear trickle down her cheek as she gently stroked his cheek. 

After the jigsaw they’d made love. 

They didn’t make love as often… or as vigorously… as they used to, but they still managed to keep that precious intimacy in their lives.

He’d been standing naked staring at his old guitar, lamenting that he didn’t have the fingers for it anymore, wondering if little Jack, their youngest grand-child, wouldn’t do better with it, since he wanted to learn guitar…  Rae had been grinning at how hairy his back was now – she teased him about it often. 

He'd rubbed is chest and told her his indigestion had been playing up all day.  Said it was damn near winding him. 

Rae had felt alarmed, reminded him of his last heart attack. 

His head had dropped to the side in thought and he’d agreed that it might be best to go to the doctor. 

She’d been glad.

“I love you so much Finn.”  She’d told him when he’d been pulling his pants on.

“I love you too.”  He’d answered.  They’d kissed.  And then he’d grinned happily and stroked her cheek, “I think we’re doing a good job of this forever thing.”

“Me too.”  Rae said. 

“You know, you’re still just as beautiful to me Rae.”  He said happily. 

“Wrinkles and all.”  She agreed, “Sexiest man alive.”

They’d headed out to the car.  But as he’d left the house he’d clutched his chest. 

Rae barely remembered a thing after that moment other than slamming her hand down on the emergency button they’d had installed after his last heart attack.  She’d slammed her hand down on it so hard she’d broken it.  A nurse had bandaged it while Finn was being worked on.  Rae had barely noticed. 

In her heart, she had known before the doctors had told her.

The heart attack had been too severe, he was too old now…

He would die within the next few hours.  Rae had called their oldest daughter and asked her to let the rest of the family know.  People would be coming soon to say good bye. 

But for now, it was just them. 

She stroked his face gently.

“It’s ok Finn.”  She whispered, “You can go.  I know you’re staying, cos you know how scared I am of being without you… but I’ll be ok.”  She sniffed, her tears flowing now, “It won’t be long till I join you… when you go… it’ll be just a blip on the radar… just like how those few months after I graduated high school were nothing but a blip.  You and me – we always end up back together.”  She took a shuddering breath, “And let me tell you lad, you better be waiting for me on the other side – cos on our wedding day you promised me forever… and I intend to hold you to that.” 


	13. Day 13 - Hurt/Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’ve seen a lot of hurting in this fandom, so I went for a more mundane pain!

 

Finn looked at his basket:

Crisps.

Chocolate.

A lot of chocolate.

A new hot water bottle.

Chocolate milk.

Coke.

More chocolate.

Some more crisps.

Jelly beans.

“Pain killers…”  He grumbled and then looked back at the list.  “Pads…”  He went to the personal hygiene aisle and looked for the packet that looked like the brand of pads she usually used. 

He grabbed some more chocolate on his way to the checkout. 

*

When he got home he handed her the bags of goodies without a word, taking only the hot water bottle. 

He filled it up with hot water and brought it back to her with a bottle of water. 

“Tv or X-box?”  He asked her and she sulkily pointed to the X-box.  “Play with me or just watch?”  He asked and she took the hot water bottle and put it on her lower stomach.  Finn waited for her to make up her mind by popping some pain killers out of their packaging and handing them to her with the bottle of water. 

“Thank you.”  She grumbled.  “I’ll watch you for now.”

“What game?”  He asked as he turned on the machine and grabbed 2 controllers, leaving one on the coffee table. 

“Layers of Paint.”  She said and Finn sighed.

“That one I’ve never been able to finish cos I’m fucking terrified of it?”  He said and she nodded.  “If it’ll make you feel better.” 

“It will.”  She answered opening a packet of crisps. 

“Will a foot rub later on make you feel better too?”

“And a back rub.”  She added sulkily. 

“You got it.”  He said as she put her feet up on his lap.   

He kissed her cheek gently and gave her a reassuring smile.  She only got a bad period like this every 5 or so periods, but he understood that they were very bad, so he did all he could to comfort her.

“My back hot water bottle will need warming up again soon.”  She told him.

“Do you want me to do that now, or after a bit of play?”

“After a bit of play.”  She commanded.

“Anything you need.”  He answered readily. 


	14. Day 14 - 100 Word Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, just doing 100 words was the worst!

 

Dear Diary

I been wondering lately about how people judge others’ lives or feel like they gotta interfere with other people’s lives – tell them they’re living their life wrong

And I think it’s fear innit?

I once read that death awareness was the terrible price we pay for self-awareness.

We all know we’re gonna die and we don’t know what we’re s’posed to be doing on this planet.

It scares us.

But if other people are doing what we’re doing – we must be right!

But if they’re not – we might wrong.

Might be wasting this 1 life.

It’s all fear.


	15. Day 15 - Past, Present, Future all in the same fic

 

The slash of red on her thighs

Sweet relief

Sinking into it

/

The thin white lines on her thighs

A whir of so many emotions

Healing all that had once hurt so much it couldn’t be handled

/

Tiny pink hands and a nappy-covered bum on her thighs

Gurgles and squeals of laughter at his father’s antics

Faded memories, all but forgotten – of what had once haunted her.

 

***

 

Fear, shame, anxiety, nerves

Cover this fucking blob up

Maybe I’m not meant to be touched

/

Fear, anxiety, nerves, elation, joy, pleasure

Let my body be seen by perhaps just him

Maybe sometimes I can be touched

/

Love, lust, elation, joy, pleasure, orgasm

Our naked bodies move in concert, creating music with our love

I am to be touched by those I deem worthy

 

***

 

Fuck up after fuck up after fuck up

What’s going on in her goddamn head

That’s the thing about Rae Earl – she’ll always let you down

/

Like a duck – calm on the surface but paddling like fuck under the water

Slowly getting her fucking head together

That’s the thing about Rae Earl – she always tries to not let you down

/

Mistakes are inevitable – it’s what you do afterwards that counts

And she knows her own head well enough not to make promises she can’t keep

That’s the thing about Rae Earl – she never lets you down

 

***

 

Music expresses our deepest emotions

Fills our souls with sometimes the only happiness we have

I know me music

/

Music can help us understand our deepest emotions

It fills our souls and adds to, enhances, what happiness we already have

I know me music

/

Music speaks to our deepest emotions

It has a special place in our souls and dances with the happiness of our lives

I know me music

 

***

 

Why would he look at me

He’s like looking at porn

He’s so much better than me

/

Why does he love me

He could literally have anyone

I feel like a second-place prize

/

He loves me so utterly and completely

And why wouldn’t he – I’m amazing

We’re perfectly matched - both 10/10

 


	16. Day 16 - A piece from your life as fanfiction

****

“No one ever believed me when I tried to tell them what I was going through.  Mum was a mess – an alcoholic, you know.  And da… he had a temper on him.”  Chloe sighed and looked over at Kester.  His bright, keen eyes were on her – she knew he was listening.  “Everyone around me was fucking horrible.”

“There was no one?”  Kester asked, “No shining light?”

“There was Rae.”  Chloe answered with a shrug. 

“No adult you could trust?” 

“No-” But Chloe stopped, a distant memory returned to her.  “There was this guy.  I called him Uncle Nick, but he wasn’t really an uncle.  He was dating my Aunt.  He was so kind.  He always had time to talk to me; ask me what I felt, how I was, what I was up to.  He was always so nice to me.”  Chloe felt herself tearing up, “But he and my Aunt… I dunno what happened.  He just wasn’t around no more.  And me mum spent years bad-mouthing him.  Saying he’d been cheating on his fiancé with my Aunt, and that on the night before his wedding he told my Aunt that this was the last time they could see each other.  Shit like that.”  Chloe looked down, “She said he was much younger than my Aunt – like 10 years.  And since she couldn’t have children, he’d left her because of that.  married himself a woman younger than he was.  My Aunt never got over him.  She always says he was the best man she ever knew.” 

“Do you think there’s a way you could contact him?”  Kester asked and Chloe looked up at him, surprised.

“I mean… I don’t know… I wouldn’t know how.”

“Could you ask your aunt?”

“No… it’d be too painful for her.  And she’d wonder why… and I can’t look him up – I don’t even remember his last name.”  She said sadly. 

*

The session had continued on, talking about Uncle Nick, Chloe reminiscing about the time she’d plaited chives flowers into his hair, only to have her Aunt tell her later that he was allergic – he hadn’t told her because he’d wanted her to enjoy herself. 

She looked around her apartment, feeling more alone than ever. 

She sighed and decided to go and have a nap. 

*

Chloe woke up with a start.  It was dark, and quite suddenly a name was on her lips

It was Uncle Nick’s last name – she’d remember it. 

Instantly she got up and went to her laptop.

She typed his name in google and read through the numerous results. 

But there was one – one very near where she had lived growing up. 

A sudden stab of hope and joy smashed into her heart.

He had a Linkedin profile, but no other apparent social media presence. 

She wrote him up a quick letter, explaining who she was and asking if he remembered her, asked if she could give him a call one day, so they could talk. 

And now she just had to wait. 

So she got up to make herself dinner.

*

The next day she got a message back from him saying he did remember her and welcoming her to call him. 

Chloe wept tears of joy.  She felt like she was finding a long-lost relative – real family.  Maybe she wasn’t so alone in this world.  Other than Rae of course.  But she couldn’t put everything on Rae. 

She wrote back and they organised a time for her to call.  Tomorrow – after work at 6pm.

*

She was already nearly crying when she called the number…

Her anxiety was immense as the phone rang.

And then his voice.

It wasn’t like she’d remembered.

“H-hi…”  She stammered, her voice breaking with emotion.  But she swallowed it down. 

The usual pleasantries – how are you doing today, blah, blah, blah…

He talked about his life – his 3 sons, his great job, then asked how she was going… Chloe shrugged and then remembered she had to speak – she was on the phone.

“Okay.”  She said, not elaborating on her life at all.  She somehow felt pitiful – like she’d done nothing with her life for all these years. 

And then a silence – he was wondering why she had needed to call him.

“Can I ask…?”  Chloe cleared her throat.  “I know it’s not my business, but… why did you and my aunt break up?” 

“Oh we just went our separate ways.”  He answered, “It happens sometimes.  Nothing much you can do.”

“It’s just… my mum said a lot of really negative things about you and… I… I just… I just remembered you differently to what she was saying…”  Chloe tried to prompt him a little.  She needed to understand.

“Oh I bet she did – it’s her sister!  And I don’t blame her, it’s perfectly natural for her to take her sister’s side.” He said cheerfully.  “I just wish I’d known how it’d upset you.  I had no idea that I mattered so much to you.”  He said gently and Chloe felt those tears again.  Maybe they could re-connect and she’d get her Uncle Nick back…?

“I just… my life was really bad… Growing up was so tough, so bad… there were so many bad things that happened to me.  And you were the only one who was nice to me and-”

“I think sometimes we can think we had a terrible life, but it’s only because we don’t know what real suffering is.”  He said in what Chloe supposed was meant to be a sympathetic voice.  “Your mother and father are good people Chloe.  They’re good people, who really love you.  And I know that maybe sometimes they were strict, but-”

“You don’t know what it was like…”  Chloe whimpered pitifully.  This was terrible.  To be told by the man she had hoped to find kindness from that she was wrong about her own suffering… she could barely hold her own tears in. 

“Maybe I don’t, but I know it wasn’t as bad as it was for the kids from my generation.” He said with a ‘tough-love’ voice.  “Your generation had reliable food and shelter and your parents didn’t think beating you was the best way to keep you quiet!”  He continued, “Now take a look at my childhood – one of 7 kids.  You only had one sibling to compete with.”  He continued.

Chloe barely heard him as he continued to talk about the horrors of his childhood.  His father had beat him, his mother had been too occupied with another baby to care.  He’d had to get a job at 12.  He’d worked hard his whole life… She had nothing to complain about in comparison.

All of this without even asking her what it had been like living her life… what she’d been through.

All assumptions.

All cruel denials of her suffering.

He talked for an age about the horrors of his own life, chewing up her credit, before he finally stopped and took a breath. 

“Okay, well, thank you,” She said, her voice thick with tears she couldn’t even begin to hide, “for taking my call.”

“No, it’s no problem Chloe.”  He said in an indulging tone.  “And if you need to talk-”

“No, I won’t call you again.”  Chloe said, “You can get on with your life, knowing it’s all good on my end.”  She lied, tears choking her voice to a high-pitched mockery of her normal voice.

“I’ll pray for you.”

“No, don’t.”  Chloe said firmly.  “Goodbye.”

She hung up before he had chance to say something else that further murdered her memory of him.

She felt utterly alone.

There really hadn’t been an adult in her life when she grew up that was worth a thing.  There was no family member that actually loved her.

There was no one.

Except Rae. 

 

 _______________________________

Read my FAQs (the personal section) if you want to know what was so horrible about my life that I clung on to my ‘uncle Nick’ so much as to call him in my mid 30s after not seeing him since I was like… 12.  And yeah, he actually said those things and more, and yeah, I was actually crushed.    
<http://blue--green.tumblr.com/post/163522040286/faqs>


	17. Day 17 - Breaking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not doing another breaking up for Rinn. Not happening. We’ve seen it too many times – especially when thinking of season 3.
> 
> So this is going to be the opposite. This is Rinn getting back together after season 3

 

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bedroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

Tomorrow it would be 3 months since she’d gone. 

3 months of the flat feeling empty.

3 months of feeling alone.

3 months of being heartbroken.

3 months without sex.

“Ugh.”  He sighed again and got ready for work.

*

“Are you even fucking listening?”

“Yeah I’m listening Chop.”

“It’s like talking to a fucking brick wall.”  He grumbled, “Boss says your work’s suffering – you gotta pay attention lad.”

“I’ll do better.”  Finn sighed.

*

“So, I think I’m going to end up being one of those stereotypes.”  Archie said with an unconcerned grin.  “Are you listening?”

“Course I am.” 

“So you know I’m thinking about fucking my lecturer?”  Archie asked and Finn nodded slowly. 

He had not known that.  He really hadn’t been paying attention.

“Course I do.”  He added to try and smooth things over.

But Archie sighed loudly.

“It’s like you’re not even here half the time.”  Archie grumbled. 

*

Finn got home from dinner with Archie earlier than usual and sat down in front of the television.

A few hours later he headed to bed – he couldn’t have told anyone what he’d watched. 

He wasn’t paying attention.

*

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

Today it was 3 months since she’d gone. 

3 months of this hollowed out existence.

Finn sighed and turned to his shower.

He stared at the shower, knowing what he had to do.

But something inside of him wouldn’t have it anymore.

He threw on some jeans and a shirt and grabbed his wallet and keys. 

He was out the door and in the car before he’d had chance to think about any of this.  He hadn’t even called work to say he wouldn’t be in. 

*

The minute he saw her he realised how grey his world had become.  Suddenly there was colour again. 

He’d driven to her university, walked the campus, looking for her, knowing this was ridiculous. 

He’d found her in the university library, pouring over books. 

She hadn’t seen him yet. 

He knew he had to go up to her… but all he could do was stare. 

That’s where all the colour had gone.  All the happiness.

He’d fucked it all up - in some ways that he understood, and in others that he didn’t.  But he could feel all the problems crawling away under his skin.  It wouldn’t be easy being with Rae, he understood that.  More than ever now.  She was still discovering herself, but then – so was he, wasn’t he? 

They could learn and grow together. 

“Who are you fucking kidding?”  He said as he withdrew, “You cheated on her… you fucked up… she’s never gonna want you back.”

He drove back home, took an earful from Chop and the boss, and continued his colourless existence. 

*

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

*

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

*

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

*

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

 

……

......

…….

…….

 

*

The alarm went off and Finn groaned, tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Finn looked in the mirror and sighed. 

Today it had been 4 months since she had left for university. 

It was Saturday and Finn had a long weekend of grey to look forward to. 

Clean the house.

Watch tv.

Not remember all that much of anything.

Sleep.

Go to work on Monday. 

Again he was tempted to go to Rae. 

But he made himself go to the kitchen and eat some bland cereal while watching bland people talk about the bland weather they were expecting today…

He was out the door before he’d even realised what he was doing. 

*

The library was the first place he went this time and it didn’t disappoint. 

There she was.  She was sniffling and had a bunch of tissues… was she crying or did she have the flu?

She was focussed on her books, hardly noticing the people around her, even when they were loud enough to be shushed by other people, and even the librarian a few times. 

Finn felt like he was breathing for the first time in a month. 

But he knew he had to go before she saw him. 

He turned and left.

Part way down the library stairs he trod on some bubble gum and found a seat to sit on while he scraped it off with a stick he found on the ground. 

He was putting his shoe back on-

“Finn?”

He looked up and saw her staring at him, a confused look on her face.  Her eyes were red, her nose red…

“Are you alright-?”

“Yeah I just go a flu or something.”  She shrugged his concern off.  “What are you doing here?”

“I uh…”

He tried to think of a plausible excuse.  Perhaps he knew someone on campus?  Maybe he was thinking of moving out this way?  Or maybe he’d… he’d…

He couldn’t come up with an excuse.

“To see you.”  He said softly. 

“Oh…”  Rae gripped her books to her chest a little tighter.  “Um…”  She looked around.  “Well… let me drop my books off at my room, then we can get a meal or something?”  She suggested and Finn nodded eagerly – he hadn’t been expecting that.  He hadn’t expected her to want to spend any time with him at all.

“Let me take ya books.”  He offered.

“Oh… uh… ok.”  She handed them to him and he felt like he was the king of the world. 

*

The walk to her dorm room had started with silence that had led into stilted conversation.  But by the time they got to the dorm room, 20 minutes later, they were talking more fluidly.  She had asked about what he’d been up to and he’d mumbled a short reply, then asked her about her time at uni.  She was loving it.  But he could tell she was lonely too.  Sure, she was making friends.  But she missed the gang and her family – and she was in a different town too.  She didn’t say it, but Finn knew her too well for her to be able to hide it from him.

“You know, I could come and visit more regular.”  He suggested and she cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Why?”

“I can tell you’re lonely.”  Finn knew he’d said too much by the way she looked at him.

“I don’t need rescuing Finn.”  She said and plonked her books on her desk. 

“I’m not saying that, I Just-”

“And it’s not your place to-” She turned to him, “You’re not me boyfriend anymore.”

“I know.”  He said solemnly.  “I know.”  He lowered his eyes.  “But we’re still friends, right?”

“Finn…”

“Look I know it’s just something people say when they break up with someone to make ‘em feel better but-”

“Finn!” 

“I know I don’t deserve it.”  He said, “I know what I did.”  Their eyes met, “But… Let me earn your friendship back?” 

“Finn…”

“I know how bad I fucked up Rae… I just… I could see where it were all going – you were always smarter, better than me.  There were no way you were gonna stay in Stamford.  You were always gonna leave.  And I… I panicked, I guess.  I just… I’d give anything to take it back.  I should’ve thought about long-distance relationships, right?  We could’ve make that work?”

“Finn… I’m…”

“You got another lad?”  He felt his heart contracting, as if sucking into itself… a black hole opening up in his chest.  It really was over forever.  Even after all this time, he’d hoped that maybe…

“No… um… actually.”

“A… a girl?”  He realised and Rae looked away. “Oh…” 

There was an awkward silence. 

“It were real lonely when I first got here.”  Rae said, still looking at her shoes.  “I missed you too.”  She looked up at him, “O’ course we’re still friends Finn.”

“But we never talk… not once since you been gone.”

“Not cos I haven’t wanted to.”  Rae said.  “I can’t afford to ring you – this place is costing enough.” 

“Oh, well I’d call you but-” Rae held up her hand and he was silenced. 

“You don’t have me number.”  She said as she wrote something down on a piece of paper.  She handed it to him, “And now you do.  Call the first number, wait for the prompt then put in the second number.  That’ll put you through to my room.”  She said and looked to her phone, sitting on the table net to her bed.  She picked up a piece of paper from her desk.  It was laminated, and very colourful.  “And this is me timetable, so you can choose the right time to call me.”

Finn looked at the timetable.

“This is… involved…”  He said softly.

“Aye well I were struggling a bit when I first came, so I went and saw the university counsellor.  She told me that having a timetable might make me feel a little less lost and anxious – so I could see everything that was coming up, could see I did have enough time for all the study, and to have some free time too.” 

“Did it help?”

“Yeah.”  Rae nodded, “You can call during any of the yellow blocks.”

“Free time.”  Finn read the key.  Pink was medieval literature, green was creative writing, blue was texts and media, orange was feminism and media.  Purple was preparation time and basic things like cooking, eating, walking to classes etc.  Yellow was free time, brown was a morning walk-

“This bit o’ free time you got before your morning walk every day?”

“Yeah I give meself half an hour to just wake up, watch some cartoons and prepare meself for the day, you know?” 

“I miss waking up next to you.”  He said, “Can I call you some mornings?” 

“Yeah.”  Rae said, their eyes meeting.

“Can I stay here the night?”

“Finn…”

“I’ll sleep on me car, I just want to talk to you a lot more, so…”

There was a pause and Rae sighed softly.

“You can sleep on the floor.”  She said finally.

“Thanks.”  He said and sat down on the floor cross-legged, his back leaning on her bed.  Rae sat down on her chair, opposite him.  her room was small, so they were still close, so close he could almost feel the heat of her body. 

They were looking at each other, the silence drawing out.

“Comfy floor.”  Finn assured her.  “Um… tell me about your girlfriend?”  He felt a stabbing at his innards when he said that.  Part of him was devastated that she had already moved on.  But part of him wished her nothing but happiness. 

“I don’t know if I’d call her me girlfriend.”  Rae said awkwardly, “University’s just… not… like that.”

“So you’re just causal then?”  Finn barely succeeded in keeping the note of hope out of his tone. 

“Yeah.”  Rae nodded.  “Her name’s Ronny.  She real pretty.  Beautiful.”

“What kind o’ girl is she?”

“The kind o’ woman that’d tell ya that men calling women girls is an infantilising tactic.”  Rae answered with a wry grin.

“I… I don’t know what that means…”  Finn was a little intimidated.

“She’s a feminist.”  Rae decided that it was best to just leave it at that.  Finn probably didn’t want to know all about it. 

“Aye, well you always were smarter than anyone I ever knew.”  He said, “Explain what it means?  Please?” 

“You don’t have to-”

“If it matters to you, I’m interested.”  He said.  “But we can talk about whatever you want.”  He added.

“No one here loves Oasis like you.”  She said and he broke out into a grin. 

 

*

 

Finn’s back had ached the next day, and he’d had to leave earlier than he’d wanted because of her timetable, but he was in the best mood he’d been in for months. 

He drove home with the radio blaring, singing along happily. 

When he got home at around lunch time, the first thing he did was go to the library.

“Hey uh… I need a book about men… in… infanting…?  Women?”  He said, not remembering the words Rae had used.

“You mean like Lola, some sort of pedo book?”  The unimpressed librarian asked. 

“Oh… god no.”  Finn said hastily, “No.  No…”  He pulled a face of disgust.  “No I mean… um… it’s a feminist thing.”  He’d asked Rae to explain it, but she’d changed the topic and the conversation had never come back around to Ronny or feminism.  Finn knew that Rae had done that deliberately. 

“Oh!  Oh you mean infantilization!”  The librarian said with a smile, “Did a pretty girl say it to you?”  She asked indulgently.

“A beautiful woman.”  Finn corrected and the librarian grinned.

“I think you might already have an idea of what it means.”  She said.  “But I’ll get you some feminism 101 books so you can impress your lady friend.”  She said, clearly charmed by him. 

Finn took home 20 books – the most books you could loan at one time.

He’d had to get a membership card as well, having never joined the local library before. 

 

*

 

He spent the next week reading and calling her every morning.  She didn’t seem to mind that he was calling so often, so he kept doing it.  He didn’t mention the books he was reading.  He listened to her telling him about the day she’s had yesterday, told her about the day he’d had yesterday.  It was nice. 

So a month later he asked her if she had plans that weekend – he asked her that every Friday morning.  She very rarely had any plans other than her usual study and watch tv plans.  This weekend was no different.

Finn was grinning when he got out of work.  He already had a bag of clothes, a few movies and CDs and other necessities, packed and waiting in the car.  He drove straight form work to Rae’s place.

He went straight to her dorm room, but she wasn’t there when he knocked. 

So he sat down with his back to the door and waited, looking at the CDs he’d brought with him.

“Who’s this dick?”  He heard and looked up to see a tall, skinny woman.  She had a shaved undercut and short spiky, bright blue hair, piercings up both ears, tattoos on her forearms, a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, and a sneer of disgust on her face.  Rae was standing beside her. 

“That’s Finn.”  Rae said and the tattooed woman arched an eyebrow at him.

“That’s Finn.”  She repeated and then turned to Rae.  “You should turn dyke – all you bi girls should.”  She said and put a hand on Rae’s waist, “Dicks are never worth the effort, no matter how pretty they are.”  She kissed Rae, fairly pornographically, Finn staring for a moment and then looking away.  “See ya Rae.”  She said and walked off down the hall to a room several doors down.  Finn scrambled to his feet, his stomach feeling a strange kind of hollow. 

“Yeah bye.”  Rae turned back to Finn, “I weren’t expecting to see you.”  She said and Finn nodded slowly. 

“You said you didn’t have plans so… If you’re busy I can-”

“Oh no, it’s fine.”  Rae said as she unlocked her door.  “Come in.”  She said and Finn followed her into her room. 

It smelled like her in here.  Finn tried not to be too obvious with taking a deep breath – he’d been missing her smell so bad. 

“So that was Ronny?”  He asked with an amused look and sat at her desk.  Rae sat on her bed and pulled her shoes off.

“Nah, that was Esther.”  Rae said, “Ronny’s girlfriend.” 

Finn stared at her for a moment, confused.  But Rae was unpacking her bag and hadn’t noticed.  But she did notice the silence after a while and looked up at him. 

“You what?”  He asked softly. 

“They’re in an open relationship.”  Rae shrugged. 

“Do you three-?”

“That is none of your business Finn Nelson.”  Rae said in a tight voice. 

“Yeah… sorry…”  He looked down.  “You were late.”  He tried to change the topic.

“Yeah, sometimes I’m not perfectly on time to me timetable.  It happens.”  She shrugged. 

“Sorry.”  Finn said, “I just… tried to time myself to you, I thought I were… doing a good job.”  He fumbled through his words.  “I didn’t mean to… get in the way of… you and Esther…”

“You didn’t.”  Rae said, “That’s the first time she’s ever even hugged me, she were just doing it to get under your skin – that’s what she always does.”  She paused, “looks like it worked.”  She said pointedly and he laughed awkwardly, “She calls every man a dick, alright?” 

“Don’t matter.”  Finn shrugged.

“And you’re first man I heard her compliment.”  Rae noted, “Called you pretty.”  She teased and Finn couldn’t help but laugh. 

“So… open relationships are a thing, huh?”  Finn said awkwardly and Rae burst out in laughter.

“You’re not coping are ya?”  She laughed. 

“No, I’m fine.”  He said, “You don’t own someone just cos you’re in a relationship with them.  For some people, that kind o’ relationship works for them.”  He shrugged again.  But Rae was right – it had surprised him.  “Anyway, I hope your floor has a place available for me?”  He asked.

“No, I got it booked out for the whole month, I’m afraid.”  Rae teased.  “Have you eaten?”

“No.”  Finn shrugged, his eyes on her as she went through her folder, organising the notes she’d been taking.

“Alright, well the pub does a good schnitzel.”  She said and he grinned.

“You know I love crumbed chicken.”  He answered and she looked up at him, a fond smile touching her lips.

“Aye, I do.” 

They walked to the pub, Finn asking her to talk about her classes.  This time when she spoke, he understood more of the content.  Especially the feminism stuff.  But even the other stuff – he’d gotten his brain thinking a bit more, so he seemed to understand it all more.  He didn’t say anything about all the reading he’d done this last month, he hadn’t done it to impress her.  He’d done it to understand her. 

They’d talked new music over dinner.  Finn had been impressed with how many people she knew – how many of them were obviously enamoured with her was no surprise to him.  But the constant interruptions to their conversation had been mildly annoying at first.  But after a few beers, he was making friends too and he settled in for a night of partying with university kids. 

 

*

 

The next morning he’d woken up in Rae’s bed.  With 3 other people.  And none of them were Rae. 

“So, this is university.”  He grumbled as he tried to stretch out his mild hangover.

He’d just come back from the shared bathroom when Rae came in with breakfast for everyone. 

Finn thanked her and sat down at her desk to eat and try to remember how many people he’d kissed last night.  He was also fairly certain he’d ended up fingering someone.  He turned to look at the people on the bed.  Eating and talking softly about an assignment they all had to work on.  2 were girls and he wasn’t sure about the third person.  He thought maybe the girl with brown hair, sleepily yawning now, was the girl he’d fingered.  He seemed to recall her hand down his pants too.  But, since there had been no mess in his pants, he knew she hadn’t gotten him off. 

He listened to them talk and organise a study date for later on.  The girl, Lisa, handed Finn her phone number before they all left after eating. 

And then it was finally just Rae and him again. 

“Lisa’s a nice girl.”  Rae said as she opened her window - the room stank. 

“Oh right?”  Finn asked awkwardly, “I don’t really remember much.”

“Not every uni student drinks, but those that do, drink pretty hard.”  Rae said, amused.

“Aye.”  Finn agreed.  “Would it be rude to not call her?”  He asked.

“It’s up to you.”  Rae shrugged.

“It’s not gonna cause any problems for you?”

“It’s nowt to me.”  Rae answered.  “You know, it’s alright if you wanna call her – I won’t be upset.  We’re both single now.”

“Not gonna slug me like… like that one time… when we… we broke up?”  He asked, thinking back to high school.  She’d been talking about Liam and he’d admitted he had a date.

“No.”  Rae answered simply.

He’d been hoping to get a laugh out of her for that.

“Right.”

“I’m sorry I did that.”  She said, “it weren’t right.”

“No it were fine… funny.”

“Well whatever it was, it won’t happen again.” Rae reassured him, “you don’t have to feel bad about getting ya willy played with.”  She teased.

Finn groaned and put his head in his hands.  It had not been his plan for something like this to happen. 

He wanted to change the topic desperately. 

“If you want, I can hang out in the library while you work, so we can actually hang out together tonight?  Maybe watch some telly?”

“Or instead of being bored for a couple’a hours, you could just go home.”  Rae answered and Finn’s heart dropped, “Maybe visit more often too.”  She added, “So it’s not such a big deal when we go out drinking instead o’ hanging together.” 

Finn’s heart skipped a beat.  Was she really asking him to visit more?

“Or I could do both.”  He said with a shrug, “I like libraries.”

“Since when?”  She almost laughed.

“Maybe a couple’a things have changed since you left Stamford.”  He suggested with a shrug, “I mean, I got no one to eat out no more – gotta fill the time somehow.”  He joked and saw a small smile and blush come to her face. 

“You could just find someone else to go down on.”  She said with lowered eyes.

“Aye, I suppose.”  He wanted to say that there had been exactly one person he’d gone down on and he wanted to keep it that way.  He could not say that.  What he did say was: “Easier said than done.” 

“I suppose yeah.”  Rae agreed.  “Alright, both it is.”

 

*

 

Finn didn’t drive home until late Sunday afternoon.

He was elated.

It had been a great weekend.  He hadn’t gotten in the way of her study; he’d read quietly as she’d worked.  They’d watched telly and talked when she wasn’t working. 

It almost felt like they were dating again. 

 

*

 

And so it went for the next year. 

He called her every morning. 

He visited every second weekend. 

Rae’s friends joked that she was having fish on the weekdays and meat on the weekends. 

But the truth was Rae wasn’t sleeping with anyone at the moment; her study was taking up too much of her time.  And even though Finn tried not to mess up her study, he inevitably did because she liked talking to him.  She found herself having to play catch up for the weeks in between his visits.  She didn’t mind – it just meant she had less time for romantic entanglements.

And as for sleeping with Finn?  The only sleeping they were doing was the actually being asleep kind.  At first Finn had been on the floor, but after a few months Rae had taken pity on his poor aching back and had let him share the narrow bed with her. 

Finn hadn’t seen this as a step towards them getting back together.  He’d seen it as a sign that they were re-building their battered friendship.  It had meant so much to him.  After cheating on her – betraying her truth so horribly – to have her trust him again - enough to let him sleep beside her… he cherished it. 

After finally growing close to her again, Finn was even less sure that they’d ever get back together.  Perhaps they really would just stay friends?  Rae had done a very good job at enforcing the ‘only friends’ thing.  Part of Finn ached for more.  But part of him was immensely grateful for having anything with Rae at all – her friendship was mint – it was everything. 

He decided to just let it take its own natural course and not try to guide it in any way.  That was a hard decision for him.  It felt like giving up on his very real desire to be with her again.  But in reality, he was just embracing having anything at all with Rae – in whatever form it took. 

 

*

 

So grow naturally it did.  Until nearly 2 years since Finn had first visited Rae, he was playing some Warcraft 2; Tides of Darkness, on her computer while she studied and she looked up from the bed at him. 

“I love you, you know.”  She said suddenly and he turned to look at her over his shoulder.

“As a friend?”  He clarified.

“Yeah.”  She answered.  “And more… you gotta know that.” 

Finn turned the desk-chair to face her – his game forgotten, orcs overrunning his town. 

“I hoped.”  He admitted, “I hoped that you loved me like I love you… but,” He shook his head, “I didn’t know and I didn’t… didn’t expect it.” 

“How could you not know?”

“I did wrong by you Rae.”  Finn said, “I threw away the best thing I’ve ever had, will ever had… just to be a prat of lad for a few minutes… just to be like the other lads.”  He sighed and scrunched up his face, “That’s not why I did it – I weren’t thinking that I wanted to be like the other lads.  I were thinking you were leaving me behind… of course you were – you were always better than me – so of course you were leaving.  I were hurting.”  He was glad Rae was being silent, letting him speak; it was hard to say all of this – to think it all through as he spoke.  To feel it all again.  “The truth is you weren’t leaving me… you were embracing your future.  And it could’ve included me if I’d just… not been so afraid.  So I made it all up me head… that you was leaving me… and… I’d called you mental… I am so ashamed.” 

“Still?”

“Of course.”  Finn said, “You try losing the love of your life and see how long it stays with you.”

“I did.”  Rae said and Finn’s heart nearly stopped. 

“Alright…”  He tried to stay calm, “You try losing the love of your life cos of your own stupidity – and see how that stays with ya.” 

“Finn…”  She lowered her eyes, “I was leaving.”  She confessed.  “I didn’t know I was leaving, but I was… cos I didn’t know how to be here, doing this uni thing, and be with you.”  She looked up at him, “But you’ve shown me how.  I feel like… such a fool for not knowing how…” 

There was a moment of silence as their eyes met.

“So…” Finn was barely able to breathe.  He wasn’t sure if he should say what he wanted to say – what if it broke this moment.  But he had to.  “So… do you wanna… try it… again?”

More silence.

“Yeah.”  She said eventually. 

“Uh… t-to be clear…” Finn stammered slightly, “I mean I wanna try dating ya again?”

“Yes Finn.”  She broke out into a grin.

“Like… you and me… exclusively.”  He started to grin too.

“Uh huh.”  She laughed, pretending to roll her eyes.

“You’re me girlfriend and I get smooches and-”

“Something along those lines.”  She said getting up.

Finn got to his feet.

“And you’re telling everyone you got a boyfriend so… no smooches with them…”  He continued, a cheeky grin on his face.

“Yes, I suppose!”  She said, pretending to be put out by his demands. 

But when they met in the middle of the room, the humour left him.  He stood before her, his eyes downcast.

“I feel like I’ve forgotten how to touch ya.”  He whispered, his eyes raised to hers, “I used to know ya body so well.” 

She took his hand and put it on her waist.

“It’s like reading your favourite book.”  Rae told him, “You’ll remember every word, every line, as soon as you start reading it again.” 

His other hand went to her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her. 

She paused for a moment, looking into his eyes.

“Promise me we’re gonna talk better this time… so we don’t make the same mistakes?”  She asked and he nodded.

“I’m not losing you again, Rae.”  He promised.

His heart was in his throat as their lips finally met again.  It had been so long. 

And other than his drunken, half-forgotten one-off dalliance with Lisa, there had been no one else for Finn.

He was shaking as he undid her buttons, but Rae was merciful and said nothing about it, though he knew she noticed. 

Falling into bed naked with Rae felt like going home. 

Being interrupted less than 5 minutes later by Rae’s dorm-neighbour, Zoe, asking if she was having problems with her phone line too – was an irritation Finn took with excellent humour… even though it took 30 minutes to get rid of her. 

Rae had said; ‘you remember Finn, my boyfriend?’ to her, when she’d come in to check if Rae’s phone was doing the same thing.  He could have withstood a lot more irritation after being re-introduced to Zoe like that. 

The words ‘my boyfriend’ put him in such a good mood, the whole world seemed to be painted in a technicolour delight. 

 

*

 

They made love 4 times before he’d had to drive back home.  He left her with the promise of coming every weekend to visit.  But he’d also told her that she had to study more when he was there – he didn’t want her studies suffering.  She had grinned and agreed.  

Finn was in a great mood when he got home and prepared for work the next day.  He looked around his apartment and knew he wouldn’t be here for much longer.  He had a feeling Rae would get a job somewhere other than Stamford.  And that was okay with him. 

They had talked about him maybe moving there, but Rae had said there was no point – she had less than a year left at university and then she’d have to get a job somewhere. 

They could see where life took them after that.

Together. 


	18. Day 18 - Involve your pet

 

He’d seemed antisocial at first, curled up at the back of the room, while all the other cats seemed interested in getting to know the people there. 

Rae barely noticed the 5 other people in the room.  Other than to note that there was a gay couple and a family of 3 – parents and a very bratty kid.

The shelter let the cats out into the adoption room for everyone to get to know them, and see them interacting with each other.

But this fluffy ginger cat stayed curled up, totally disinterested in the humans. 

That is until Rae went near him.  Then he sat up to attention.  He hadn’t done that when other people had gone near him. 

But Rae didn’t see him, she had looked away before he had moved.  She was looking at another kitty on a cat-stand nearby. 

But the ginger kitty simply moved to stand at her feet, staring up at her intently. 

One of the men who had come together looked over and grinned at the fluffy ginger cat trying so earnestly to get the attention of a smoking hot girl, who was looking the other way. 

He decided to give the cat a bit of help and went over to him, kneeling to give the little fella a stroke. 

Rae noticed the movement.

“Hey.”  She said to the man.  He was very attractive and she sighed when the man he had come with called over to him.

“Look at this kitty – he’s perfect!  We’ll call him-”

“Alexander, I know Archie.”  The man near her called back to him.  “I still want a dog!” 

“Yeah, we’ll get a dog as well.”  Archie answered, disinterested – he was utterly taken with the kitten. 

“This fellah seems taken with you.”  The man said and Rae looked at the ginger kitty, allowing himself to be stroked by Finn but looking at her intently.  He blinked slowly and Rae knew that was what cat experts called a ‘cat-kiss’ – so she returned the slow blink and he meowed softly.  Rae bent over to pick him up and he instantly flopped into her arms, purring and chirruping, rubbing his head into her cheek. 

“I think you have to take him home now.”  The man said.  “I don’t make the rules.”  He added.  “I’ll be glad to see him get a home.  We were worried he wouldn’t – he’s not very sociable.  But he really likes you.” 

“You volunteer here?”  Rae asked.

“Yeah on Tuesdays.”  He answered, “Name’s Finn.”  He offered her his hand and she shook it, holding onto the ginger cat with one arm.  The ginger cat didn’t seem to mind. 

“Rae.”  Rae answered and looked down at the cat.  “My mum always said you gotta let the cat choose you – not the other way round… so I guess you’re right – I have to take him!”

“I’m so glad!”  Finn beamed. 

Behind him, his boyfriend, was looking at a second kitten.

“You better reign in your boyfriend before you take home a whole litter!”  Rae laughed and Finn turned to look at Archie.

“Oh he’s not my boyfriend.  Best friend… and, I mean we did just buy a house together.  Which sounds like we’re gay together.  But actually, it’s one of them houses that’s got a split down the middle.  You know what I mean?”  Finn wished his mouth would stop running on, “so like it’s one house with 2 halves that are separate.  We share the yard and the laundry, but otherwise I have me own kitchen, bathroom, 2 bedrooms, even a dining room!”  And he was still going on, despite his wish to just stop, “I could of bought it and put a tenant in the other half or smashed down the central wall and had a bigger house, but this was better for both of us – half the cost, we both got closer to work and…”  He finally stopped talking but now he was nodding awkwardly.  “Fancy getting a drink with me?”  And his mouth had gone off again.  “I’m sorry, this isn’t like me… I’m usually… quieter.”  He said.

“You must be really excited about this little kitty getting adopted.”  Rae said with a small smile.

“Aye that I am.”  Finn said honestly.  “But really, come get a drink with me?”  He asked again, “Obviously after this one’s settled in.”  He said giving the cat a stroke. 

“Alright.”  Rae said, “Give me ya phone.”  She said and he instantly handed it to her.  She put her name and number in his contacts.  “Give me a call.”

“I will.”  He answered.

“Wanna help me with the adoption process?”  She asked hopefully and Finn nodded.

“Yeah sure, I’ll grab the forms for ya.”  He beamed and headed off towards the counter. 

“Bloody hell.”  Rae said, her eyes dropping to his arse.  “Well… let’s hope he calls.”  She said to the cat.  “Now what’s your name?”  She asked him and he chirruped slightly, rubbing his face into her cheek again.  “I should name you after a famous ginger… um…”  She thought for a moment.  “Vincent.” 

Vincent meowed softly, his face still pressed against hers. 


	19. Day 19 - Domestic Bliss

 

Finn whisked the eggs, while Rae cut the strawberries and bananas. 

He mixed in some sugar and cinnamon and nutmeg and allspice. 

She got the maple syrup out of the fridge.

He dipped the bread in the mix.

She whipped some cream.

He fried the French toast.

She arranged it on the plate with syrup, fruit and whipped cream. 

They sat down at the kitchen table, ready to eat the first breakfast in their first home. 

“This is so good.”  Rae groaned in pleasure.

“We’re not cooking this much every morning.”  Finn said.

“Oh fuck no!”  Rae agreed.  “Too much effort.” 

“So… hundreds of thousands of quid in debt… worth it?”  He asked with a grin.

“Yeah.”  She nodded. 

They finally had their own home. 

“Kitchen’s unpacked, bedroom is mostly unpacked, ensuite unpacked,” Finn ticked things off, “Where next?”

“I think finish the bedroom.  I want all me clothes out.”  Rae answered.

They finished eating, planning out the day. 

Yesterday the gang had helped them move all the boxes in.  they’d eaten pizza, and unpacked into the night. 

Today was their first full day in their new home.

It was like a new adventure in a place you already knew so well. 

They immediately ignored their plan and went outside to check out the long narrow garden on their terraced house. 

“We can put a vegie patch in.”  Rae said with a grin.

“A greenhouse maybe?”  Finn asked. 

“Better get to know the neighbours.”  Rae said when they saw a dog poking its head through the semi broken wooden fence.  They had known about the few repairs that the place would need before they had bought it, so this was not alarming to them… but the dog was now pushing its way through the gap in the fence. 

It ran towards them, its tail wagging frantically as it ran.

“Boof!”  It was a huge dog, and it jumped up at them ecstatically. 

After getting a suitable amount of strokes and licking their hands until they were dripping wet it ran around their yard happily sniffing everything. 

“MERCY!”  They heard their neighbour calling in alarm.  “Where are you?” 

“She’s over here!”  Rae called over the fence and they saw a face pop over the fence.

“I’m so sorry!”  she said, “Mercy, get back over here!”  the dog jumped around excitedly. 

“No it’s fine!”  Finn said, giving Mercy another stroke.  “She named after Overwatch?”

“Yeah!  Wanna play sometime?”

“Yeah!”  Finn answered, “We’d both like that!”

They spoke for half an hour with their neighbour about mending the fence (they’d pay for half each), Mercy coming over for visits sometimes, the names of their other neighbours, inviting her to their housewarming party in 2 weeks’ time, and organising a time to play Overwatch together.  Her name was Pearl and she lived here alone. 

“We met our first neighbour!”  Rae said excitedly as they went inside.

“She’s gonna bring butterbeer to our house warming!”  Finn said excitedly, “I didn’t even know you could make butterbeer!” 

“Part of me feels like I should learn the recipe, but part of me knows I’ll never make it.”  Rae said.

“Well we don’t need to: we have a neighbour!”  Finn said, “A neighbour who makes butterbeer, if you please!”

“Finn…”  Rae said as she stopped in the lounge room.  “Look at our house… we own a house!”

They stood, grinning like fools, staring at the room, filled with boxes. 

And then Finn pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. 

“Might be time to christen the house…”  He mumbled as he kissed down her neck. 

“Might be.”  She said, pulling at his pants.

It took them a full hour to finally get back to unpacking. 

 

 

 

 

This is their house


	20. Day 20 - A Never Finished fic

 

Well… there’s 2 major WIPs I am yet to finish that could go here - but I couldn’t finish them completely in time for this prompt!

There’s also tons of prompts for me to do…

Oh what to do??

 

Well I think it’s time for the next chapter of the poly fic – how about that?

You’ve been waiting nearly 2 years for it!  (unless you’re exclusively an AO3 reader - then you just got like, 60 parts all uploaded like a week ago!  Finally catching you up to where the Tumblr readers were already up to!)

So I’ll put up the next part of the poly fic later today or tomorrow for this day’s prompt.

 

I’ll also try to get more chapters of it out soon!

 

Love you all xo

 

[link to poly fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3503729/chapters/7701281)

[link to chapter 73](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3503729/chapters/26754084) (the one written for this challenge)


	21. Day 21 - A Holiday Celebration

 

“Are you… Are you trying to sneak a peek at your pressies?”  Finn asked. 

Rae looked over her shoulder at him.  He was carrying a tray with milk and chocolate-chip cookies on it, an unimpressed, but amused, expression on his face.

“No…”  Rae lied as she looked back at the tree and all its enticing presents.  Her hand moved up, away from the presents to the tinsel on the tree, “I was just fixing the- the trimmings… they were falling down a little.”  She explained.  It was a complete fabrication.

And they both knew it.

This year – Finn had put 5 presents for her under the tree.  FIVE.  They usually got each other 1 or 2… and usually Rae’s were books and CDs – always appreciated… but none of these were books or CDs.  You could always tell you had a book or CD – even when it was wrapped. 

Finn grinned and put the tray down. 

Rae’s eyes grew bigger as she saw that there was another present on the tray.  He handed it to her.

“Put that under the tree will ya?”  He asked, clearly knowing just what he was doing to her. 

“There’s still 12 days till Christmas!”  Rae complained as she put the present under the tree, wanting to just open it now.

“Well you better start singing ‘the 12 days of Christmas’ girl, cos the closest you’re getting to a present until Christmas morning.”  He answered smugly. 

“But I only got you 2…” She got up and sat next to him on the lounge.  “That’s our tradition…”

“Aye, but I broke with tradition this year.”  Finn said cheekily.

“Obviously.” 

“Grumpy pants.” 

“I WANNA KNOW WHAT ME PRESSIES ARE!”  She cried dramatically.

“I know.”  He answered, satisfied.  “12 days.”  He added happily.

“UGH!” 

“Here have some cookies.”  He offered and Rae sighed.

“Alright.”  She said taking a cookie like it was a punishment. 

Finn just laughed. 

He was going to enjoy this. 

 

 

___________

what do you think the pressies are?


	22. Day 22 - A One-shot off of a longer fic

** Prompt: 31 days of fanfic challenge - Day  ** ** 22 - A One-shot off of a longer fic **

 

Finn and Phil stared down at the silent, wrinkled pink, little thing.  It moved its arms slowly, unco-ordinated – like it was still figuring out what these things were. 

“Hello Robin.”  Finn cooed gently.  But the baby just stared. 

Rae was the only one among them that had changed nappies before, having changed her younger sister.  But Rae was passed out and snoring in front of the tv, her nipples leaking a little milk, a heat pad on her lower stomach.  The nurses had taken care of it hospital – but now it was all up to them.

“I’m so scared I’ll break him…”  Phil said, stroking his son’s foot gently. 

This was his first day out of the hospital – he was only 3 days old.

“You were the first to hold him.”  Finn reminded him, “And I was the second… We’ll be fine.  We got this.” 

“Look at his tiny little nails…”  Phil said, taking Robin’s hand. 

“His nose…”  Finn added and Phil made a noise of agreement.  “He’s so perfect.” 

Robin made a soft noise and both man made a noise of adoration in response. 

“Alright…” Phil managed to tear his eyes away from Robin’s face and fix them on the safety pin holding Robin’s cloth nappy in place.  They’d already taken the weird plastic pants that Linda had put on over the top of the cloth nappy off and they could see that the nappy was wet – the urine soaking through. 

“Rae said that she wants to use disposable nappies.”  Finn said as turned to the cupboard, filled with nappies.  Their friend Janice had been in here and filled all their cupboards with goods.  Their freezer was filled with frozen meals.  That woman was a champion. 

He pulled out the packet of disposable nappies and looked at the pictures and instructions on the packaging.

“Are they biodegradable?”  Phil asked, carefully undoing the safety pin.  “We’ve got his future to think about.”  He added, “We have to do everything we can to leave him a good planet.”

“So we’re planning on complete world domination then?”  Finn asked and Phil looked up with a quizzical expression.  “You leave your kids your house, not a whole planet!”  He explained. 

“Oh right.”  Phil understood what he’d meant.  “Well the planet belongs to all of us – including him.  He’ll be here a long time after we’re gone so…”

“Yeah I know.  Let’s look after the planet.”  Finn had to smile, even though he’d heard the environmental lectures from Phil for years and years now.

“Ugh, who puts a pin near their baby?”  Phil said as he gingerly tried to pull the safety pin out of the cloth nappy.  But it seemed to be snagged, and Phil was terrified of hurting Robin.  Eventually he teased it free of the cloth, Finn watching him and giving him support as he worked so carefully.

Finn opened the packet of nappies and took one out while Phil took off the cloth nappy and put it in the bucket Linda had given them for the nappies. 

They worked in perfect unison, praising each other and Robin, moving around each other with ease, cleaning, wiping, applying cream… and then pausing to look at the nappy. 

Rae came to the door to see what they were up to.  She grinned when she saw Phil saying it looked easy enough to use these nappies and Finn agreed. 

She watched them carefully lift Robbin’s bottom and slide the nappy under him.  No one would ever know it was their first time changing a nappy.  They were doing great.  She especially enjoyed the moral support and praise they kept lavishing on each other.  But no matter how thick they laid it on with each other – they heaped a whole lot more praise on Robin. 

He was the cutest baby to ever exist.

The smartest baby.

The most talented baby.

The baby with the best toes.

Once they had him in the nappy Finn took him into his arms and gave him a hug, Phil kissing Finn and stroking Robin’s head gently. 

“I think we did alright.”  Phil said.

“I think we’re amazing.”  Finn said, “But not as amazing as little Robin.”  He said, kissing Robin’s forehead. 

“He really did an amazing job.”  Phil agreed, “The way he held it together while that pin was so close to him.”

“I’d’ve cried.”  Finn agreed. 

“He’s clearly a gifted child.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“He just laid there while you changed his nappy.”  Rae put things back into perspective and they both turned to look at her.  “He’s 3 days old… all he does is sleep and eat and poo and lie there.”  She said, “His personality and gifts will come out in a bit… first he’s just gotta get used to this big noisy world.”  She said as she came over to them and kissed his forehead.  “Oh… he’s so cute…”  She said.

“Dare I say… the cutest?”  Finn said with a cheeky grin.

“Well we know he’s the cutest.”  Rae said.

“And the cleverest.”  Phil added and Rae nodded.

“Look at the way he’s looking at me… He knows his mum… He’s so clever.”  She cooed. 

“He’s gifted.”  Finn said and Rae sighed.

“You two!”  She shook her head but was laughing.  “Anyway, I’m starving… I bet he is too.”  She said and Finn handed Robin to her. 

“I’ll cook something.”  Finn said, “Save the frozen stuff for when he starts crying all night.” 

“Good idea.”  Phil said, “You’re such a smart man.” 

“And devilish attractive too, right?”  Finn laughed as he headed to the kitchen.

“Absolutely!”  Phil answered.

“Yes!”  Rae said at the same time.

Rae settled down in front of the television with Robin, ready to feed him.  Phil changed her hot water bottle and made them all tea.

So far, this parenting gig was going alright…

 

 

 

 A moment from my [poly fic](http://fanningon.tumblr.com/post/85991721486/fanfic-masterpost) that's not actually in my poly fic


	23. Day 23 - Under the age of 18 / in their youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Finn and Rae are 10 years old. 
> 
> CW: body shaming.

 

“Where’s your mum, Nelson?”

“She leave?  couldn’t stand ya ugly face?”

Crude laughter.

“FUCK OFF!”  Finn yelled at them, all the rage his young body could hold was pushed out of his mouth.

But they just laughed. 

So Archie picked up a rock and threw it at the ring-leader.

It hit him on the face.  A gash of red instantly flowed from his cheek.

“SHIT!”  Archie squeaked and grabbed Finn’s hand.  The boys ran from the gang of 6, slightly older boys.

They made it home to Archie’s place and stood in the doorway laughing at the boys as they had to give up the chase – Archie’s mother was at home, washing the front windows. 

They ate microwaved pasties and watched cartoons until dinner time. 

 

*

 

Rae saw the group of teenaged girls, all long legged and slender frames, lounging on towels.  The sun seemed to shine brighter on them, illuminating their beauty. 

She looked down on her swimming costume.  She’d really loved it when she’d begged her mum to get it for her.  It was bright blue and green and the tummy was cut out of it. 

But now it felt like a foolish decision when she looked at her belly poking out of it.  She’d never noticed that before.  Not until she’d seen these girls, laughing at her mum’s fat arse…

This was the first holiday they’d been on that Rae could remember. 

Rae looked over to Chloe, sitting with her mum – she’d been allowed to come along –Chloe had had to beg.  Chloe’s mum didn’t like Rae’s mum.  Thought she was too common. 

Rae had to walk past the girls to get to her mum and best friend.

She laced her hands over her stomach and looked down, wishing she as invisible. 

“There’s no use trying to cover it, we can all see it, love.”  One of the teenagers called out to her, the others broke out into laughter. 

Rae kept walking, her face burning with shame.  She didn’t look up, didn’t acknowledge them.  And she didn’t say anything when she got back to her mother. 

But she out her t-shirt back on, and nothing her mum said could make her take it back off. 

 

*

 

“Can’t.”  Archie said apologetically, “Gotta stay home and hang with mum.” 

“Why?”  Finn asked grumpily.

“It’s Mother’s Day.” 

Finn hadn’t realised.  He supposed that was why his dad had offered to take them to the coast this weekend. 

“Right.”  Finn said softly.  “Yeah sorry… forgot.” 

“But we can hang ne-”

“Yeah I know, it’s cool.”  Finn said with a shrug, not saying any of what he wanted to say. 

 

*

 

“I think you’re ten times prettier than me.”  Chloe said as she brushed Rae’s hair, “But…”

“What?”  Rae asked, looking in the mirror at the make-up Chloe had put on her. 

“Well mum says girls are s’posed to thin.”  Chloe said and Rae turned to look over her shoulder at her.  Chloe shrugged, “I dunno.”  She said apologetically, “She just says that’s why we have to eat less.” 

“But I like food.”

“Me too.”

“And you need food to live.”

“Well not that much.”  Chloe said, “I’m already eating half of what I used to eat… it’s not as hard as I thought it would be.”  She said, but she sounded unsure, “It was hard at first… but mum said it was time to learn self-control and discipline and to be responsible for myself.”  Chloe sounded like she was parroting her mother’s words exactly, “she said that as women, we mustn’t let ourselves go – it’s our duty to our husbands.”

“You’re not married.”

“Never will be either.”  Chloe answered.

The girls shared a grin.

“Wanna eat all the chocolate we can find in the house?”  Rae asked and Chloe’s grin got wider.

“Yeah!” 

 

*

 

“I know it’s hard without your ma around Finn, but we’ll get through it, my boy.”  He swept his son up into his arms.  He didn’t want his son to feel as lonely as he did. 

 

*

 

“We don’t need anyone else Rae – we’ll get through it, you’ll see… but I do wish some man would come and-” She stopped herself from saying any more.  She didn’t want her daughter knowing how lonely she felt. 

 


	24. Day 24 - Substance Use - Alcohol, drugs, etc.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i actually didn't want to write alcohol / drugs - i've already done that a lot. so i asked over at tumblr what i should do instead and got this suggestion. do i guess i'm doing alcohol anyway! i also changed the order of the original prompt

 

“And another thing!”  Izzy’s words were slurred.  “Why the fuck are they called ‘Game Boys?’  Why?  Are girls not good enough for ‘em?”

“‘Game Girls’ sounds amazing to me.”  Rae said, an amused look on her face. 

“And you know, the Jacky thing don’t even look good as a dress.  I don’t get why she…”  Izzy burped.

“Ginger Spice?”  Chloe asked and Rae shrugged.

“Yeah probably.”

The 3 boys watched on silently, all stunned.

“And!”  Izzy said loudly, “Some of the people on ‘Crystal Maze’ are fucking daft.  I’d do so much better than ‘em.”  She said.  “Like… like they couldn’t find their own arse!”

“How much did she drink?”  Archie asked in a low voice.

“She just had a second Snakebite.”  Chop answered, his eyes never leaving Izzy. 

“Is that all?”  Finn asked still staring at Izzy.

“No, she’s on her third now.”  Chop clarified.

“No one’s ever gonna love me.”  Izzy suddenly started crying.

“Oh no, that’s not true Iz.”  Rae said, patting her on the back.

“Everybody loves you.”  Chloe said hugging her.

“I wanna be fucked Chloe.”  She said, looking her in the eye.

“Right…”  Chloe said, unsure how to reply to that. 

“Holy… shit…”  Archie said slowly.  Chop’s eyes opened wider and Finn tried to not let his jaw drop. 

“How about them Game Girls?”  Rae asked awkwardly and Izzy wiped her nose messily, taking another gulp of drink.

“Oh you’ve probably had enough.”  Archie went to lean forward and take the drink from her.

“NO!”  Izzy yelled, everyone in the pub turning to look. 

“Alright.”  Archie sat back.

“Listen, Rae.”  Izzy turned to Rae, a very serious look on her face.

“What is it Iz?”  Rae asked.

“What are pogs?  What does pog mean?”  Izzy asked, her eyes narrowing.  “Why… Why do… why do people even…?”  She shook her head and looked away as if deep in philosophical thought.  “Pogs…”  She whispered. 

“Yeah they’re pretty shite.”  Rae agreed, shrugging when Chloe looked at her quizzically. 

“90210 is literally the worst thing America had ever done to the world.”  Izzy said, “Me sister loves it, so I watch it with her and pretend to like it.  I smile and smile and smile… but I’m a liar – rotten to the core.”  She said dramatically.

“No babe,” Chloe soothed, “You’re a good sister.”

“And completely right about 90210.”  Rae agreed.

“Luke Perry looks like he’s 50 years old – how is he cast as teenager?  What?  In what world?”  Izzy shook her head and took another drink.  “I don’t… I don’t get it.”

“Me either.”  Rae agreed.

“But Home and Away’s good.”  Izzy said and Rae pulled a face.  Chloe shook her head in warning – making Rae decide not to disagree with Izzy.  “You know we belong together!”  Izzy started to sing the theme song to Home and Away loudly.  Everyone in the pub looked again, a few people laughing, but Izzy just continued on obliviously, “You and I forever and ever… always closer together…”

“I don’t think those are the words.”  Rae said softly. 

“You what?”  Chloe asked.

“Me mum watches it.”  Rae said defensively. 

“Oh bollocks!”  Izzy said, “You know you love it, but you think you’re too cool to…”  She stopped as if forgetting what she was saying.  “When are ya gonna shag Finn?”

“What?”  Rae asked, laughing uncomfortably, her face going red.

“It’s obvious he wants to shag ya… so… throw him a bone... although… isn’t it guys that have the bone… isn’t that were that comes from… or is it… You know I heard a word today – Austo… Austo-lo-po-pee…” She scrunched up her nose.

“Great word that.”  Chop said with a grin.  Beside him Finn was looking down, his cheeks red.  And Archie was grinning broadly. 

“Shurrup.”  Izzy said, swaying slightly.  “I think the Undertaker’s quite sexy.” She said defiantly. 

“Is that wrestling?”  Finn asked incredulously.  And when they all turned to look at him he cleared his throat, “Me da watches it.” 

“Another one who’s too school for cool.”  Izzy accused.  “Must be why you want in Miss Rae’s knickers so much… you’re so well matched!”  She declared loudly. 

“Izzy…” Chloe said trying to get her to quieten down a little.  “Maybe you’d like some water?”

“Another…”  She looked at her drink.  “What is this?”  She gulped the rest.

“Snakebite.”  Chop said with a grin, handing her his half full glass.

“Chop!”  Chloe admonished. 

“You’re a good’un.”  Izzy said, taking the drink, “With pretty eyes.”  She put her hand on his and then looked away.  She looked up at Rae, “I wanna be touched by a boy with beautiful eyes.”  She whispered so that only Rae could hear her. 

“I know Iz.”  Rae said and looked over at Chop.  His brows were furrowed and he was looking at her hand on his.  Rae thought that maybe he was coming to some sort of realisation.  Chloe had said that Chop liked Iz but hadn’t realised it… maybe now he had. 

Iz turned to Chloe, and said in a very serious voice.

“I think Take That are better than Backstreet Boys.”  She said, “But I don’t like boybands as much as you.”  She added, “I never should have said that…”  She started to cry, her voice hiccupping in a high pitched little squeak, “I… liked… them… so… much…”

“Oh, it’s ok babe.”  Chloe said gently.

And then Iz looked over the table at Finn. 

“I’m sorry but… Blur are better than Oasis… I can’t lie anymore.”  She sniffed hard.

“Alright…”  Finn said awkwardly. 

“And you’re never gonna dip your wick in that tall drink of a woman if ya don’t just…”  Iz made a thrusting motion and nodded meaningfully.

“Thanks?”  Finn said, confused and still feeling awkward. 

“Look…”  She leaned forward, getting out of her chair and nearly lying across the table to talk to Finn, everyone grabbed their drinks as she plonked on the table.  “I know…”  She said softly to him.  “That you’re cool and…”  She stared off.  “What were I saying?”

“I dunno Iz.”  Finn said, looking a little scared of what she might say.

She stared at him for a moment. 

“Oh right!”  She suddenly laughed.  “Just tell Rae you wanna get in her – she’ll be all like… oh right?  And like laugh and then you can have a drink of water.  You know?”  She said and Finn nodded slowly.

“Thanks Iz.”  He said, barely able to raise his eyes to Rae. 

“Great advice.”  Archie said with a broad grin. 

Chop was staring at Izzy, his brows still furrowed. 

Izzy stood up and then tried to sit back down, missing her chair and almost sitting on Rae, who caught her and helped her to find her own chair. 

“Rae… you’re so…”  Izzy put a hand on her cheek.  “Pretty.”  She said with a big grin, “I wish I had your face.”  She looked down, “And boobs… all the boys look at ‘em.  I saw Chop looking the other day.”  She frowned.  “An’ o’ course Finn can practically never stop lookin’ at ‘em.”  She burped again. 

Finn cleared his throat awkwardly and looked away, laughing slightly when the other guys laughed loudly, trying to cover their awkwardness. 

“But your boobs are lovely Iz.”  Rae said.

Izzy grabbed Rae’s hand and put it on her left breast.

“You don’t think they’re too small?”  She asked.

Everyone was silent and stunned for a moment.  The boys all had their mouths open in surprise.  Chloe’s eyes opened wide. 

“Not at all.”  Rae managed to say, getting over her shock.  “They’re great.” 

“Really?”  Izzy perked up.  “I think I’m gonna puke!”  She said in the same happy tone.  And did just that, all over the table.

Everyone jumped up except for Izzy.

Her vomit finished she grinned happily and took another sip of the drink Chop had given her.

“No, you’ve definitely had too much.”  Chop said, taking the drink from her. 

“NO!”  She said loudly, “But I like it!”

“You won’t tomorrow morning.”  He said, pulling her to her feet.  “I’ll get her home.”  He said, putting an arm around her waist.

They all decided to leave at the same time – they’d outstayed their welcome for tonight anyway. 

They watched Chop taking Izzy off towards where they both lived – they were neighbours. 

“Well that was interesting.”  Archie said with a big grin.

“Not really.”  Finn said, looking down.

“Yeah we’ve all been drunk afore.”  Rae agreed.

They looked up at each other for a moment.  Finn cleared his throat and looked down.  Rae looked away, afraid she was blushing too much.

“Alright, see you all tomorrow.”  Archie said, shoving his pockets in his hands, “Coming Chlo?”  He asked, holding out his arm for her.

“Sure.”  She said and they walked off chatting. 

“Izzy’s some drunk huh?”  Rae said with an awkward laugh.

“Aye.”  Finn said, rubbing the back of his neck, not able to look at Rae yet. 

“Aye, well I’ll see ya tomorrow.”  Rae said.

“Yeah.”  Finn answered and then quite suddenly, “Listen that stuff she said…”

“Ah, she were drunk.”  Rae shrugged.

“Yeah…”  Finn said nodding slowly, his eyes meeting hers. 

“She were real drunk.”  Rae reiterated. 

They stared at each other for a moment longer.

“I should um…”  Finn said, looking down again.

“Get going.”  Rae finished his sentence for him.

“Walk you home.”  He corrected.  “It’s late and…”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, but I’d rather… just be sure.”

“Oh?  Alright.”  Rae said, secretly chuffed. 

They started walking towards her home. 

“So um… Take that are better than Backstreet Boys?”  He asked with a crooked smile.

“I hate them both.”  Rae answered.

“Had a feeling you did.” 


	25. Day 25 - Role Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got a super shitty weekend coming up, so I'm gonna have to put up the next few ficlets today.  
> Sorry! But you can choose not to read them until the appropriate day if you like.

 

Finn folded his arms around himself and kept his eyes down as he walked through the hallways of the school. 

He hated it here. 

He could hear people laughing behind him and he knew they were laughing at him.  He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to ignore it.  His therapist had told him that people laughing in public weren’t all laughing at him… he knew that, but… 

He snuck a quick look at the people laughing and saw that it was the popular bunch. 

She was standing near them, smoking a cigarette.  It was obvious they wanted to be near her rather than the other way around – they were hoping that her cool would rub off on them somehow.  That they would be cooler by being allowed to be in her presence. 

_Rae Earl._

Finn stared at her for a moment.

_I might as well try touching the sun._

He sighed longingly.

_She’s so fucking hot._

_And… oddly – also so fucking cool._

He sighed again and quickly looked away before she saw him looking.  Goddesses like that don’t take kindly to nobodies like him staring at them. 

*

Rae sat with one floor up on the table, leaning back in her chair, listening to Chloe and Izzy chatting. 

“Hey.”  Some cute guy, she didn’t know his name. 

“Hey.”  she answered, not really interested. 

“Have you seen ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’?”  He asked excitedly, and Rae sighed in boredom.

“Nope.”  She answered, “I think Tarantino is an over-hyped wanker.”

His face fell.

“Yeah me too.”  He said softly.  “What about ‘Mission Impossible’?”  He tried another angle. 

“Tom Cruise is a wanker too.”  Rae saw Archie approaching and gave him a nod.  Chloe had introduced Archie to the gang.  Izzy had introduced Chop to them but he didn’t go to school – they always saw him at the pub or the chippie. 

“Yeah I know.”  He agreed, nodding slowly in his best attempt at looking cool. 

“Hey Rae.”  Archie said as he sat down, “Who’s this?”

“Dunno.”  She answered.

“Craig.”  He said.

“Hey Craig.”  Archie said and Rae took her opportunity to get up and go sit closer to Chloe and Izzy. 

She stayed close to them, talking every now and then.  She tried to not hear Craig telling Archie how much he like Rae and wanted to date her. 

Rae groaned internally and ignored it as much as possible.

*

Finn tried not to fidget as Archie led him towards the door.

“You sure about this?”  Finn asked.

“Sure.”  Archie shrugged. 

“Maybe they’d rather not have a new person in the group?”  Finn said nervously, pulling his sleeves down over his hands. 

Archie shrugged again in response.  He’d opened the door to the chippie before Finn had a chance to say anything else. 

He heard the laughter immediately.

_Oh shit…_

Finn hadn’t realised that Archie’s new friendship group included Rae Earl.

They were crowded around the table, laughing.  Finn knew all of them by sight.  And he knew Chop from Archie – the 3 of them hung out together sometimes. 

But he’d never said a word to Rae Earl.  THE Rae Earl…

He tried not to look like a frightened kitten as he sat down and her eyes turned to him. 

*

“So I just bought the Spice Girls album.”  Chloe said and Rae rolled her eyes, laughing.

“Your music taste is on par with my mum’s!”  She joked but Chloe just laughed and kissed Rae’s cheek.

“And that’s why ya love me!”  She declared happily.  “What was the last album you bought Iz?”  Chloe asked and Izzy scrunched up her face.

“You know me!”  Izzy said, “I love me some Tu-Pac!”  She said surprising the guys but the girls rolled their eyes at her. 

“What about-?” Chloe began but Rae’s eyes were on Finn.

“What about you?”  She asked him. 

Rae didn’t know what to make of this new-comer.  She was never really interested in newbies coming into the gang.  Even if they were cute… ish. 

Finn tried not to freeze.  He wished Archie and Chop had gotten to answer first so he could see how she responded to their answers – that way he’d know which of the 3 albums he just bought she’d be most impressed with.

“Ugh…”  His voice wavered slightly and he cleared his throat.  “Pinkerton.”  He answered and watched her eyes narrow slightly.

“You like Weezer?”

“Aye.”  He answered.  “You?”

“What’s your favourite song on it?”  She asked, ignoring his question.

“At the moment?  Probably “EL Scorcho’ – but it changes, you know?”  He said, loosening up.  He liked talking about music. 

“You got your eye on getting any other albums?”  She asked. 

“Ugh yeah, I also got Aenema – Tool’s new album.”  He said and felt his heart drop when she scrunched up her nose in disdain.

“American.”  She said, “Everyone knows American music.”  She turned to Archie and Chop to ask them about their latest purchases, dismissing him with her eyes.

“I also got Murder Ballads by Nick Cave.”  He said and couldn’t stop a crooked grin coming to his face when she looked back at him, an impressed look on her face.

“Not many people know Nick Cave.”

“I know me music.”  Finn said and watched her look him up and down, sizing him up.

“Maybe you do.”  She said with a shrug. 

*

Finn could hardly believe the last few weeks.  Every moment he wasn’t at school or with his dad he was hanging with the gang. 

But for Finn, the best bit was that he had grown closer and closer to Rae over the weeks – their shared love of music had made them good friends.

She was funny.  Smart.  Had great taste in music.  She was strong and kind.  Generous and unconcerned with the whole popularity thing.  And she was so beautiful. 

They even had their own secret way of communicating – writing on each other. 

Finn felt like he was walking on air when he was around her.

When he went into the chippie for the gang’s regular lunch date, he saw Rae wearing an Oasis shirt.  She broke out in a grin when she saw he was wearing an Oasis shirt too. 

_She’s fucking perfect._

*

“Finn’s da’s going away next weekend.”  Archie declared as he sat down at the table. 

“We should have a party!”  Chop said with glee.

“No…”  Finn said firmly. 

But Rae was keen for him to have the party.  She was really getting a feeling for Finn… she liked him better than any other guy. 

Everyone started to try and convince Finn to have a party.  But all Rae could do was stare at him.  He was gorgeous when he was pissed off like this – annoyed at Archie for telling them and Chop for insisting…

She couldn’t help but think about his lips… on her lips.  A party like this would be the perfect chance to try it on.  She wasn’t sure if he’d be into it and for the first time in a long time, she felt nervous and so excited. 

Rae hadn’t had a boyfriend in a while – not that plenty of guys weren’t trying it on – she just hadn’t been interested in any of them.  But Finn?  Finn was interesting.  And if he kissed half as good as he looked – if their chemistry while kissing was a quarter as good as it was while talking shit…

All she could think about was kissing him.

Chop was calling it a sexy party now.  Finn was getting more agitated about it – there was no way they were having this party.

Rae felt disappointed.  But then maybe she could go over to his house and they could have a one-on-one, exclusive party.  She liked that idea a lot. 

*

But in the end Finn had agreed to the sexy party…


	26. Day 26 - A character doing your real-life job

 

Rae sat down at the computer and started typing for the day.

She’d been having a good run of late.  Sometimes it was harder to focus and social media would take her attentions… that and watching things like ‘Pride and Prejudice’ over and over again…

But even when it was harder to focus, she did manage to write something every day. 

She was supposed to be working on the sequel to her first published novel.  But instead she was writing Jane Austen fanfic.  This one was about Anne Elliot from ‘Persuasion’ – Austen’s most unsung heroine in Rae’s opinion.  She was writing a steamy sex scene between her and Captain Wentworth… She wrote a few more lines and then sighed. 

She went back to what she was supposed to be doing. 

She banged out a couple of pages without thinking too much about it, and without editing and then got up to get a drink and a snack.  Once she’d eaten, she’d work for a bit on fanfic, then back to the stuff that paid the bills… well barely paid the bills.  Actually, it didn’t cover much at all, but thankfully Finn worked at a ‘real’ job.  But Rae knew that one day, she’d get her break as a writer and be able to pay her way doing the thing she loved – writing. 

Being a novelist was hard, but rewarding.  It made her very poor and she often bemoaned the state of her clothes, shoes, car, everything, from lack of funds.

But every day she got to tell stories, so she was grateful for this very hard path she’d chosen. 

Writing was often a lonely path – it’s not a job she could do with others.  Although she had wondered about collaborating with someone, it just wasn’t really her style. 

She put on some music and settled in to writing for real – she felt like she had a roll coming on, and she wanted to work hard for the next few hours.  Bang out a few pages of her novel.

Some might call her life boring, and she supposed she did have less to talk about – no office gossip to wank on about.  But she did have a rich world inside of her head, filled with people she had created- people she loved… people she sometimes hurt for the benefit of the story.  Basically, her head was filled with people, places and events that weren’t real.  But often, they were all she could think about.  Sometimes they were all she could remember – it was like they pushed other parts of her brain out.  Sometimes she forgot her own birthday. 

She had metaphors for it.

Like goblins sitting in her head determined to bang out a story.

An idea was like smoke – if you tried to grab it, it would disappear, but if you just watched it, let it dance in the air – you would see its form.

Stories were like free-form gardens – you threw down the seeds of what you wanted and let them grow.  You tried to guide it, to feed it and water it and, keep the weeds out – but the story would still go where it wanted. 

But these metaphors, along with all the words she’d ever typed, were pale and watery in comparison to what lived in her head.  If only she could get it out faithfully.  But that was the challenge she loved the most – as infuriating as it was. 

That was her life’s work – her quest. 

And she sought it out gladly. 


	27. Day 27 - Graphic Depictions of Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N – things in italics are things that happened in the past – they do not occur in chronological order.  
> Things that are not in italics are things that are present day (in this universe) – they do occur in chronological order.
> 
> day 10 - an AU is part one to this.

 

Finn pulled on his leather gloves and drew heavily on his cigarette. 

If he had thought life was short before, he knew it was short now.  Brutally so.

But at 27, he’d outlasted most.  And had 2 kids. 

He looked in the mirror.  The scar that ran down his face had ended up healing well.  When it had happened, he’d been worried he’d lose his eye.  But the rebels knew what to do to combat the shadow of Nyarlathotep.  Light.  They kept him in sunlight or UV light constantly for a month.  Now the scar was only a thin line and his eyes worked perfectly fine.

He turned and looked at his wife, pouring over old lore books, preparing for the meeting they would be attending in just under 5 hours. 

“We can’t trust him, you know.”  Finn said and Rae scoffed.

“You’re still the noob, you know.”  She said with a wink. 

He came over to her, putting his arms around her waist he picked her up, his mouth finding hers.  He dumped her on the bed, her hands finding his belt, undoing his pants. 

 

***

 

_“I said get in the car!”  Rae said louder, pressing the pen into his jugular._

_“It’s a pen…”  Finn said, unimpressed, but still nervous about meeting a rebel._

_“You think I don’t know how to slice a throat with a pen?”  She asked, moving with lighting speed she brought the pen down, stabbing it into his forearm._

_“ARGH!”  He cried out, but the pen was back at his throat and she was ordering his silence.  He grabbed his forearm and looked at the blood pouring out of it._

_“Now get it in the fucking car.”  She ordered calmly._

_Finn nodded and scrabbled with the door handle.  As soon as he’d opened the door she pushed him into the back seat and slammed the door shut behind him.  She went to her front seat and pressed a button and Finn watched as a cage came up between the front and back seats._

_“What in the fuck?”  He whispered as he watched her go back to his car and search it.  He tried the doors but the child-lock was on._

_“Shit.”  He said and looked out the back window at Rae searching his car._

_She took a few of his personal things and then set it alight._

_“Oh fuck…”  Finn whispered as he watched his car burning, his stomach dropping, his fear growing.  “I’m not gonna survive this.”  She was erasing all traces of them having met – destroying the evidence._

 

***

 

He pulled her pants off roughly and was inside her before she’d managed to get her hands under his shirt.  He pumped into her hard and fast, his lips never leaving hers - not until she pulled him by the shirt and slammed him onto his back, riding him hard, bending down to kiss his neck.  He reached his hand up under her shirt, his mouth kissing down her neck.  His mouth felt the beginnings of her wounds. 

 

***

 

_Blood sprayed out in an arc and Rae spun, like a ballerina._

_“NO!”  Finn cried out, leaping over the bannister.  He raised his guns before his feet had hit the ground, aimed square at the beast’s ugly face.  It screeched, it’s huge claws raised._

_It was Lobon, God of the bloody tongue.  He was tall, gangly with no neck and a face with small eyes and a huge mouth, ringed with razor sharp teeth and a massive tongue that lashed from his mouth like a wet, bloody tail.  And his long arms scraped his three-fingered hands along the floor… each finger had a deadly long talon on it._

_Another weaker God under the protection of Nyarlathotep – he just kept on sending his minions after the rebels._

_“You alright?”  He yelled and Rae coughed._

_“Aye.”  She said, feeling her chest.  Its claws had torn from the left side of her neck, across her chest to her right breast.  She was bleeding bad.  She’d need stitches, maybe a transfusion…_

_“Fuck you!”  Finn yelled at the beast.  It could move faster than humans could blink, and it dodged every bullet._

_Rae gripped her axe, gritted her teeth in determination and got to her feet – already swinging._

_It dodged her first blow._

_But it wasn’t too smart – it was couldn’t divide its attention._

_One of Finn’s bullets hit its mark – right in the beast’s gut._

_The beast turned its attention to Finn, screeching angrily._

_And Rae chopped off one of its arms, vile yellow-brown blood sprayed from the stump all over Rae._

_Finn shot into its mouth, puncturing its huge, hideous tongue multiple times.  Finn had to duck when it lashed its tongue at him._

_Rae cut off its other arm._

_Finn shot it in the gut again._

_Rae slammed her axe into its head area._

_Finn emptied his clips into it._

_It was dead._

_They grinned at each._

_“You are so fucking sexy.”  Rae said._

_“Come here, I wanna fuck you.”  Finn said, but he went to her._

_They kissed passionately, caring not for the blood and grime of battle._

_But Finn noticed how much of the blood was Rae’s._

_“Alright doctor first, sex second.”  He said and Rae sighed._

_“I guess so.”_

 

***

 

He avoided her wound and kissed her breasts tenderly.  The stitches had only come out yesterday and he didn’t want to re-open the wound. 

The sex was quick but satisfying for both of them. 

Every pleasure had to be taken quickly in this world. 

“We should see Tix and Danny before we go.”  Rae said.  They’d named their kids after 2 friends of theirs.  Friends that had died the first time they’d fought an Outer God.

They hadn’t even managed to kill that Outer God… in fact – they were meeting with him today.

 

***

 

_The new pub didn’t have the same feel._

_Chop and Izzy had set it up pretty quickly – the government was really good about that kind of thing._

_But Archie hadn’t seen Finn since that night Nyarlathotep had come to the old bar and Cthulhu had had to come to punish him for being in a forbidden zone.  He’d been gone for weeks – months actually._

_Izzy was jumpy now.  Nyarlathotep had said she’d pay for not serving him a drink._

_Nyarlathotep wasn’t known for making empty threats.  He was known for delighting in tormenting humans though._

_Archie bought a drink for Finn and drunk it silently in honour of his fallen friend._

_//-//_

_That night Chop was closing up the bar._

_He had a strange feeling scampering under his skin, like the shudder you get when someone runs their fingernails down a chalkboard…_

_He looked up, out the front window and saw Nyarlathotep across the road.  Staring in._

_He turned slowly, pretending he was unaffected and went out the back where Izzy was counting stock._

_He grabbed her hand._

_“Time to go, hun.”  He said softly._

_“What?  Why?”_

_“You know why.”  He whispered urgently and pulled her towards the door._

_“Oh fuck…”  She breathed, terrified._

_They slipped out the back door._

_They saw Archie in the carpark, looking through the messages on his phone.  They didn’t know he was reading Finn’s old messages and getting teary over his probably-dead best friend._

_Chop opened the back door and pushed Izzy into the backseat._

_“What’s going-?”  Archie turned and saw them, “Oh you need a lift home?”_

_“We need to go.”  Izzy whimpered as Chop looked back to the pub._

_“What?”  Archie was confused by their behaviour._

_Chop saw Nyarlathotep at the back door._

_“GO!”  He cried as he dove into the back seat._

_//-//_

_Scotland wasn’t far enough.  They knew that.  But where was far enough?_

_They were trying to follow the path of Cthulhu’s mate and children – staying in places any one of them were.  It meant Nyarlathotep could not capture them.  But it also meant that they were always on the move._

_It had been a few months like this now._

_Izzy and Chop barely dared to show their faces – hiding out in whatever hotel they managed to find._

_Archie would do supply runs and find out from the local Church where Cthulhu’s family were expected to be… but money was running low…_

_Archie was sitting in a carpark.  Again.  Trying to figure out what to do – he couldn’t go back to his old life now – he’d been gone from it for too long… been on the run with his friends…_

_He knew that this would only lead to death… and his bank account was empty now… they had nowhere to go – no way to get there.  Nyarlathotep would catch them the minute Idh-yaa, Cthulhu’s mate, left the Outer Hebrides._

_He looked up and saw a face he hadn’t expected to see ever again._

_He leapt out of his car and sprinted towards Finn._

_He grabbed him by the collar, stared at his face for a moment and then threw his arms around him._

_“Archie!”  Finn said happily as Archie squeezed him tightly._

_“I’m so glad you’re alive.” Archie whispered.  And then an idea came to him.  “I need your help!”_

_//-//_

_“I don’t know if I should do this…”  Finn whispered._

_“You have to help us!”  Chop said.  Finn looked at their exhausted faces.  “You’re a rebel now!  You’re the only hope we’ve got… if you’re not rebelling to save people… why are ya doing?”  He reasoned._

_“I’m not really a rebel yet… I’m kinda… just learning.”  He said and pulled a face, “But you’re right…”  He nodded firmly.  “I’ll take you to their- our base.  Hopefully they- we can protect you.”_

_They left Archie’s car behind and took the one Finn was driving – it was a shared car, belonging to the rebels.  They had several shared cars.  Finn had been on a supply run._

_It was a long drive to the cave system they were holed up in.  But the hide out was well equipped._

_Finn knew they had dozens of places like this hidden around - not always in use.  And more were being made all the time.  Storing weapons, computers, generators, stores of food and water, all over the country – all over the world.  Many rebels still lived in their normal homes doing their day to day activities.  But some lived in bases.  And all of them trained hard.  Finn had put on nearly 20 kilos of muscle since he’d been with them – they had worked him hard.  And he could already do basic hand-to-hand combat pretty well.  But until he had undergone ‘the trial’ he was not a full member.  He had no idea what ‘the trial’ was – but he felt ready for it.  Whenever they decided to test him._

_He’d been living at this rebel base pretty much since Rae had basically abducted him.  Sometimes alone, sometimes with other people.  Sometimes Rae would be there too.  He was always happiest when Rae was there._

_But now, as he entered the hidden base, these 3 people, friends of his, following him, and he saw her talking to some others… he was very nervous._

_“What’s this?”  She asked as she looked up and saw them._

_“They’re-” But Finn barely got one word out before loud whooping laughter was heard._

_“Shit!”  Chloe said, “Underlings.”_

_“Yeah but who’s underlings?”  Rae said as they all jumped to their feet._

_“You were followed.”  Chloe said to Finn and pulled him by the shirt to be standing behind her._

_“I’m sorry…”_

_“Shut up.”  Rae snapped and pushed Archie behind her, Izzy and Chop following._

_Rae looked down the lines.  Only Tix, Danny and Liam were here._

_“Not enough…”  Chloe whispered, having the same thought Rae was._

_“Let’s see what they are before we decide that.”  Rae said bracingly as the shadows started to move._

_Eight humans slunk from the shadows.  But they crept low to the ground and their skin was leathery… reptilian._

_“Hagarg Ryonis.”  Liam said, “I wonder if he’s come himself, or just sent his underlings.”_

_“He’s a lesser God…?”  Tix was confused – they were weaker – they rarely attacked people like this._

_“Under the protection of Nyarlathotep.”  Izzy whimpered, “He’s trying to kill me.”_

_“Oh fucking great.”  Rae said, shaking her head.  “What did you bring down on us Finn?”_

_“The fight you fucking wanted!”  He snapped back and she shook her head, her eyes on the humans as they crept closer.  Four coming up the middle, two on either side trying to flank them – climbing up the walls._

_“Not yet!  And not here!”  Rae answered, “Danny, we need weapons.”  Danny was the fastest runner.  “For ALL of us!”  Rae clarified._

_“I’m on it!”  He said, sprinting to the door behind them.  One of the humans homed in on him and leapt from the wall, to follow, to hunt and kill.  But Chloe stopped it, with a brutal roundhouse kick to the face.  It hissed at her loudly._

_And they all attacked._

_Leaping from the shadows onto them._

_Rae was tackled to the ground by the biggest of the underlings.  But she had been prepared for this and wrapped her legs around its waist and twisted round, putting her weight into it.  She slammed it into the ground and grabbed its scaly head, only a few tufts of hair were left.  She gripped them and used them to slam the human’s head into the ground._

_They called these underlings humans because once they had been wholly human.  But Hagarg Ryonis, with the permission of Nyarlathotep turned them into these reptile / human hybrids.  They served him mindlessly.  All of those under the protection of Nyarlathotep turned humans into underlings in their own image.  It was repulsive._

_There were underlings that had never been human – but they were rarely seen on Earth – they enjoyed killing humans far too much for Cthulhu’s taste._

_Chloe managed to keep her human at arm’s length, kicking it repeatedly._

_Liam was a heavy hitter, and he punched the human repeatedly, taking far too many blows in return._

_Tix was quick, and she dodged the blows, backing up, needing her weapons…_

_Izzy squealed and ran, her human reptile chasing her around the large cavern, laughing loudly in its high-pitched whoop – this was sport._

_Finn was barely holding his own with the hand-to-hand combat… he was beginning to realise that he had greatly over-estimated his own ability._

_Both Chop and Archie were not faring well.  Archie was on his back, a human on top of him, strangling him.  At least Chop had managed to land a punch before his human had slammed him into the wall and licked his face like it was testing to see what Chop would taste like when eaten._

_And then Danny returned._

_Rae was strangling her human now, a grimace on her face._

_“Just fucking die!”  She hissed at it._

_“RAE!”  Danny called and threw her huge axe to her.  Rae let go with one hand to grab the axe, plucking it from the air with ease.  But before the human had a chance to free itself, she brought the axe down through its neck, beheading it._

_She leapt to her feet as Danny threw Tix’s guns to her._

_Rae was across the room – going after the human chasing Izzy – before Danny had thrown the hand axes, daggers and brass knuckles to Liam.  Liam slammed a dagger into the eye of his human, slipped on his brass knuckles and slammed his fist into its temple then caught his small axes and used them to lop of its head.  He retrieved his dagger before he went to help Archie._

_Rae slammed her axe into the stomach of the human chasing Izzy while Tix let off one perfect shot after another straight into the skull of her human.  They took a lot of bullets to put down, which is why so many of them chose axes and daggers instead.  Ammunition was hard to come by, and hard to make._

_Danny threw a bag of small weapons to Chloe and she caught them and brought the bag swinging down onto the head of her human.  While it reeled backward, dazed, she pulled out three daggers and sent them flying after it, one to each eye, one to the throat.  She leapt at it, gripping the dagger in its throat and pulled it out sideways, semi-beheading the thing._

_Danny dropped the duffel bag of other weapons and put the strap of his own weapon over his shoulder.  An Ak-47 with flamethrower attached.  He laughed happily and let fly with his bullets into the human attacking Chop._

_“Weapons this way!”  He cried out.  He didn’t know what kind of weapons these newbies might want to use – it was up to them to choose._

_Finn leapt away from the human he was fighting, sliding along the floor to reach into the bag.  He pulled out a gun – a magnum.  He turned, lying on his back and took aim at his human.  He clipped its arm – the kickback on this gun was incredible._

_“Shit!”  He yelled, “At least they still bleed red…”  He mumbled as he took aim again.  This time he hit it in the stomach.  And then its head suddenly imploded in on itself.  And Finn saw that Rae had slammed her axe down onto its skull.  She stood behind it and he saw her face, focussed, livid, splattered with blood, as the corpse fell to the floor in front of her._

_“Get weapons!”  Danny repeated as the last of the human underlings were killed.  “There’s no way this is over.”_

_Chop, Izzy and Archie scrambled to get to the duffel bag._

_There was low hissing chuckle and all their hairs stood up on end._

_Rae turned slowly to see Hagarg Ryonis slowly strut into the room.  His movements were stilted, awkward – this level of gravity was unusual to him._

_His large, muscled body was covered in green scales.  His fingers and toes were webbed, and topped with sharp talons longer than Rae’s forearm, dripping with poison.  He had large wings on his back, held aloft – ready to take flight.  And his face… his head…_

_It seemed reptilian, almost like a snub-nosed lizard, but behind the lizard snout and reptilian eyes was a huge bulbous cranium, like the shape of an octopus body.  But it was patterned like the squiggly lines of a brain._

_But that wasn’t the worst of it._

_When he opened his mouth, lined with sharp, poisoned teeth, eight tentacles unfurled, revealing a beak at the centre of their writhing mass.  A hungry mouth beak, dripping with poison._

_“Oh Gods…”  Izzy whimpered, utterly terrified._

_“My Lord Nyarlathotep wants the ginger.”  He hissed, but somehow his voice was deep enough to send rumbles through their chests.  “You will be allowed to live if you hand her over.”_

_“Nyarlathotep sent him because he can’t come himself.”  Danny said.  This area was currently off-limits to Nyarlathotep._

_“Please…”  Izzy cried desperately._

_But none of the rebels looked at her as she pleaded for her life.  Their eyes were all on Rae as she looked at the Lesser God._

_“Well…”  Rae said bracingly, gripping her heavy axe, “Time to kill a God.”_

_“A Lesser God.”  Danny corrected._

_“But a God nonetheless.”  Chloe said, cracking her neck, straightening her back, and stretching her arms in preparation for the fight ahead._

_“You have chosen to be consumed.”  Hagarg Ryonis rumbled deeply, his voice somehow also slithering through the air like an ancient whisper._

_“Chlo.”  Rae said softly and Chloe nodded.  They both took off simultaneously, sprinting at full speed, up either flank of the huge Lesser God._

_Liam knew this move – they’d practiced it.  He threw his axes at Hagarg Ryonis, one hitting him in the head, the other the gut.  Neither seemed to bother Hagarg Ryonis, but his attention was on Liam now._

_Danny opened fire, Tix simultaneously following suit.  Finn took aim too, much slower, taking longer to aim._

_Izzy had a bow and arrow and she slowly took aim, while Archie and Chop both had swords.  They held them up awkwardly, not knowing what to do with them._

_But that didn’t matter – the guns blazing down the centre had Hagarg Ryonis’s attention even more than Liam  – so he wasn’t expecting Chloe’s daggers, thrown into his bulbous head.  He screeched and one of his tentacles flung out at Chloe, gripping her around the waist, squeezing the breath out of her._

_And then Rae leapt at him from behind, her axe held high over her head.  She brought it crashing down into his head, green blood spraying everywhere._

_She landed firmly and reefed her axe out of his head, gelatinous brain matter dripping to the floor.  Then she brought it down on the tentacle holding Chloe, cutting it off.  He screeched.  Another tentacle lashing out at Rae, smacking her in the face hard, sending her flying._

_Liam came running in now, his brass knuckles ready.  He thumped Hagarg Ryonis in the gut – he was too tall to hit in the face.  He dodged a blow from those incredible talons, knowing he couldn’t risk even the shallowest of cuts from those poisonous barbs._

_Tix started walking forward, changing clips and then continuing to fire none stop, aiming for the head.  Danny followed but circled round the back._

_Izzy finally let off an arrow and hit Hagarg Ryonis in the head – she was lashed by his tentacle in response, and knocked unconscious._

_Chop and Archie came running in with their swords, aiming for the tentacles that Liam was dodging – along with the claws.  Liam broke through the bones in Hagarg Ryonis’s chest and green blood splurted all over him._

_Rae was getting to her feet when Hagarg Ryonis took flight.  Out of nowhere Chloe jumped onto his back, her daggers slamming into his spine.  She pulled one out and slashed it at the tentacle trying to get at her._

_Tix changed her focus and started aiming at the wings, while Danny, laughing manically, changed to flame thrower and aimed up at Hagarg Ryonis._

_The most fetid smell of burning, rotten flesh filled the cave.  Everyone had to fight back retches._

_But Chloe started to laugh.  She was clinging to Hagarg Ryonis’s back, bullets were tearing into his wings right next to her head, he was on fire, flying metres above the ground, and starting to grow in size… and she was laughing._

_“Better to die here than live and die as your cattle!”  She said and started to hack at his wings._

_“He’s growing!”  Liam called out._

_The Gods were able to take many forms, and could be any size from relatively human size to larger than the whole planet.  If Hagarg Ryonis grew too large – he might become too big for them to defeat him…_

_“Stop him!”  Rae ordered._

_Finn was aiming his shots carefully – at the beak like maw in the centre of his writhing tentacles.  Hagarg Ryonis was protecting that spot carefully, so Finn had an idea it was important.  Rae’s order made him move closer, to get better shots._

_Chloe managed to cut off one his wings and he hurtled back towards the floor, Chloe clinging to his back._

_As soon as he thudded to the floor, Chloe rolled away from his lashing tentacles and everyone else rushed in._

_Chop and Archie hacked off tentacles.  Finn put a boot on one of them, pinning it to the ground, exposing the beak, and started firing into it.  Tix and Danny both fired bullets into his head and gut.  Liam started to pull at his bulbous head, reefing out gooey brain matter._

_Izzy slowly started to wake up and looked over, her head spinning, just as Chloe and Rae approached the writhing beast.  Chloe slashed out Hagarg Ryonis’s eyes and Rae, seeing what Finn was doing, aimed her axe right at his beak.  Finn aimed in between her blows – over and over again – she hacked away at his maw, and then BANG, Finn would fire a big old bullet into it._

_The tentacles were all gone now, so Chop and Archie started hacking at Hagarg Ryonis’s arms, getting rid of his deadly talons._

_Danny switched back to his flame thrower and lit the twitching body alight as Liam backed away.  Rae and Finn still hammering at the beak until finally – CRACK!  Vile, vicious smelling, green blood oozed from the beak.  Hagarg Ryonis writhed for a moment, his screech of pain cut short by a violent shudder wracking his body._

_And then he moved no more._

_“We did it…”  Chloe said softly._

_“We killed a God.”  Liam said._

_“A Lesser God.”  Danny corrected._

_“Yes, thank you Danny.”  Chloe said, rolling her eyes._

_But Liam cheered and they all laughed and cheered with him – even though they knew it had to be short lived.  The death of any God would send shock-waves through the other Gods._

_“New rule: we keep our weapons with us at all times.”  Rae said, focussing them all back on the realities of the moment at hand._

_“That might be hard for you babe.”  Chloe noted Rae’s huge axe, thick, green blood dripping from the blade._

_“I’ll have to get smaller weapons to complement this one…”  Rae shrugged and then turn on Finn, her eyes flashing with anger.  “And what were you thinking?”_

_“I’m sorry-”_

_“You had no right to bring them back here!”_

_“I had to – they had nowhere else to go!  They’re my friends!”_

_“We don’t have friends outside of this place!  Do you understand?”_

_“I am sorry.”_

_“I put my neck on the line for you – telling them not to kill you and then you do this!”_

_“I don’t know how many time I can say I’m sorry.”_

_“We lost this base – it’s compromised now.  And we’ve been forced to show our hand early.”_

_“Rae, I-”_

_“I wish I’d let them kill you.”  She turned from him and turned to the other rebels.  “Take all you can and scatter.  We’ll meet up in 2 weeks, I’ll send out where.”_

_“On it.”  Danny said and they all headed into the back rooms to gather all they could._

_Rae turned back to Finn, Izzy, Chop and Archie standing behind him._

_“I don’t know where to go.”  Finn said softly, “I only ever been here…”_

_“Because you’re not a rebel yet.  You haven’t even done your trial yet… and you’re bringing people to-”_

_“Join.”  Archie said loudly and then blushed at how loud he’d been.  “He’s bringing people to join… you need people, right?”_

_“What are you doing?”  Chop hissed._

_“It’s only chance we got to survive.”  Archie countered._

_“He’s right.”  Izzy agreed._

_“Are you fucking serious?”  She said to Finn and he gave her an awkward, hopeful smile.  “Give me strength…”  She said shaking her head and turning away to take a deep breath.  She turned back to them.  “Alright, you fucking losers are with me.  It’s the only chance you got to survive.  Go – gather things and put them in the ute.”_

_“Aye.”  Finn nodded and turned to his friends, “Follow me.”_

_Rae turned and looked at the caves.  This is where she’d first made base with Kester.  They’d held this place for so long… and now it was gone._

_But that was the life of a rebel.  She’d let off the dynamite charges when they left - leave no trace for the enemy to follow._

***

 

“So Iz, you’re gonna run subtle interference, make sure he don’t know Chop’s running analysis on him.”  Rae said and Izzy nodded in reply. 

“You sure that thing’s gonna work?”  Finn asked and Chop nodded solemnly.

“I hope so.”  Chop had just invented a machine that could analyse what the Gods were made of.  The catch was that you had to be in the same room as them, or at least in close-ish vicinity.  It worked on humans, underlings, and they’d gotten a partial reading on one of Nyarlathotep’s minions.  This would be the first time they’d be using it for real.  Chop didn’t know what he hoped to find out by analysing the Gods – but he hoped it would reveal a way to kill them. 

“And Archie,” Rae turned to him, “you got that UV screen?”

“Aye.”  He nodded, “It’ll hold out against him – keep us relatively safe.  He can’t stand too much light.”

“You’ve become quite an expert on all the lore.”  Kester said softly and Archie beamed happily.

“Thanks.”

“This unit is our strongest unit.”  Kester went on.  “A far cry from how most of you were, a little over 4 years ago, when the rebels killed their first God... A Lesser God as Danny always reminded us.”  He looked at each of them in turn.  “You all better come back in one piece.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Chop grinned, holding up his mechanical hand, “Sometimes not coming back in one piece is pretty good.” 

They all laughed for a moment, there wasn’t one of them without a scar of some sort. 

“Finn, Chloe – you got security.  Make sure he don’t get any minions or underlings anywhere near this warehouse.”

“Easy.”  Chloe answered with a grin. 

Finn nodded and continued to polish his magnums as they planned the meeting.

It was happening in less than an hour now. 

“And I guess I’ll do all the talking, as usual…”  Rae sighed. 

 

***

 

_“This must be what it feels like to have kids.”  Rae said, looking in the rear-view mirror at Archie, Chop and Izzy – all asleep on the back seat._

_Finn looked over his shoulder and gave a soft laugh._

_“I always thought it’s noisier.”  He said.  “It’s not surprising they’re exhausted.”_

_“No.”  Rae agreed, “Having Nyarlathotep on their arses for months can’t have been fun… and I s’pose they showed a lot talent or dumb luck to survive as long as they did.”_

_“Both I reckon.”  Finn answered.  “I am sorry ya know.”  He said after a pause._

_“Yeah I know.”  Rae sighed.  “Sorry I said I wish you were dead…”  She pulled a face._

_“Nah I get it.”  He said, “I could’ve killed us all – I need to be smarter.”_

_“Yeah you do.”  Rae said, her eyes flicking to the three exhausted people that were now rebels in training.  “But you did a good thing.”  She admitted._

_“I know.”  He said.  “Foolish – but good.”  He paused for a moment, looking at her as she drove them across the country.  They had thought about going to the Isle of Mann, but had decided on France – it was further away and Cthulhu himself was in the area.  Meaning Nyarlathotep wouldn’t follow them there.  They just had to make sure none of his minions were following them.  “Are we alright?”  He asked, feeling vulnerable._

_“Yeah.  We’re alright.”  Rae said, giving him a quick glance before looking back at the road._

_As soon as she looked back at the road she had to slam her brakes on._

_A large black dog had run out into the middle of the otherwise deserted road._

_Only it looked wrong somehow._

_“That’s not a dog…”  Finn whispered._

_“Aye…”  Rae agreed and started to back the car up._

_Quite suddenly the dog morphed, in front of their eyes, into a huge, gangly creature with a bloodied tongue emerging from its large mouth._

_“Lobon?”  Finn asked.  Another of Nyarlathotep’s minions._

_“No Finn.”  Rae said, grabbing the park brake and turning the car violently.  “Lobon don’t change from a dog into hisself.”  She sped off in the opposite direction.  “Wake up!”  She said loudly, startling Archie, Chop and Izzy awake.  “He’s gonna catch us, and we’re gonna have to fight, and run.”  She told them as they tried to get their heads together._

_“You what?”  Archie asked._

_“It’s Nyarlathotep.”  Finn understood._

_“Oh no…”  Izzy moaned._

_“keep it together.”  Rae said, “We only survive this by keeping our heads.”_

_“No one survives Nyarlathotep.”  Izzy said._

_“Except you have been – for months.”  Finn said.  “We can do this.”  He backed Rae, “Keep it together.”  He looked down at his gun and started loading it.  “What do we know about Nyarlathotep?”_

_“He likes to take human form.”  Rae answered, “He likes to torment humans.”_

_“He drinks.”  Chop said suddenly._

_“So?”  Finn asked scrunching up his nose._

_“He eats and drinks in human form!”  Chop said excitedly.  Finn still looked at him like he was daft.  Rae pushed the car to go faster, now there was a shadow behind them – and it was growing.  “So maybe he NEEDS to eat and drink in human form.”  Chop reasoned, “He don’t need to when he’s the shadow.”_

_“So maybe he has other weaknesses in human form?”  Archie caught on.  “Maybe he bleeds?”_

_“Maybe he can be killed.”  Chop said._

_“Of course he can be killed.”  Finn said firmly.  But his insides were a mess – part him was so unsure.  Lesser Gods were one thing… but Outer Gods – they were only one step down from The Great Old Ones.  “Maybe he’ll be easier to kill in human form?”  He wondered and took a deep breath as he looked at Rae.  Her eyes were flicking between the road and the rear-view mirror._

_“I got a plan.”  She said softly.  She turned to look at him.  “Do you trust me?”_

_“With my life.”  Finn answered instantly._

_“Then follow my lead.”  She told him, “And when the time comes – don’t miss.”_

_“Alright.”  He answered._

_“Follow my lead and maybe we’ll all live.”  Rae said loudly to the others, and then suddenly slammed the brakes on.  She reached back over the back seat to the weapon holder hidden on a panel in the roof and pulled her axe out, putting it on the seat behind her back.  She took a deep breath and saw that the deep shadow had stopped a short way up the road._

_The air itself was rumbling as Rae got out of the car._

_“Grab a beer from the boot.”  She told Archie who instantly got out of the car and did as he was told.  Rae left the front door to the car open and looked back at Nyarlathotep as Finn got out of the car, his gun held behind his back._

_Archie handed the beer to Rae._

_“Thanks, now don’t try and stop me.”  She warned Archie, as she opened the back door and reached in, gripping Izzy by the hair._

_“You wanted the ginger.”  She called out._

_There was a low screech and the shadow swirled violently.  Chop yelled out at Rae and Izzy cried loudly._

_“And a drink.”  She said, putting the beer in Izzy hands.  “Go.”  She hissed in Izzy’s ear, pushing her towards Nyarlathotep._

_Izzy cried miserably, frozen on the spot._

_“YOU SAID YOU’D HELP US!”  Chop screamed at Rae._

_Finn looked on, absolutely stunned.  He hadn’t expected this._

_“What are you doing?”  Archie asked, absolutely bewildered.  “You can’t sacrifice her…?”_

_“GO!”  Rae roared at Izzy and she jumped, whimpered and slowly started walking towards the writhing mass of shadows._

_Inside Rae was just hoping her hunch was right…_

_Chop scrambled out of the car, but Finn grabbed him and held him back._

_“Wait.”  Finn whispered to him, “Rae’s got a plan…”_

_And then the shadows slowly melded into human form._

_An almost attractive man, with black hair and black eyes, stood smirking at them._

_“Human form…”  Archie breathed the words, he understood Rae’s plan now – Izzy giving him the drink had just been a ploy to get Nyarlathotep to take human form.  And he was just arrogant enough to do it – to think them not dangerous, even though they’d just killed his minion Hagarg Ryonis._

_Only the fact that there was another fight coming stopped Rae from grinning – she’d been right about the arrogant fucker._

_But this fight was a lot worse than the last.  She was more than out-gunned.  An Outer God was far stronger than a Lesser God, and she was the only one here who was properly trained._

_She thought she’d be shaking when she had to face death.  But she was calm – she died a free woman.  Now she was just waiting for Izzy to offer him the drink.  Waiting for Nyarlathotep to drink._

_Izzy’s whole body was shaking with terror as she opened the beer and held it out to him._

_“I’m so sorry, my Lord Nyarlathotep,” She kept her eyes lowered, “I only refused you a drink because-”_

_“Silence.”  His voice was so sinister that Izzy gasped in horror.  “Beer… an odd human habit.”  He was amused._

_His fingers, at once icy cold and blazingly hot, gripped Izzy by the throat as he put the beer to his lips, tipping his head back to drink._

_“IZZY!”  Chop yelled and Finn couldn’t stop him, he started running towards them._

_“Don’t miss.”  Rae said softly and Finn instantly levelled his gun, taking aim._

_BANG.  The first bullet went right through the beer bottle and lodged itself in Nyarlathotep’s throat._

_BANG.  The next went right through his eye and his hand let go of Izzy’s throat.  Izzy dropped to the floor, her hands going to her throat as she gasped for air._

_Rae was grinning now as she reached into the car and grabbed her axe._

_She ran, sprinted towards Nyarlathotep as Finn continued to aim perfectly, bullet after bullet slamming into his face._

_Chop dropped to his knees beside Izzy and pulled her into his arms and Archie grabbed a sword from the boot and ran into the fray._

_Nyarlathotep dropped to his knees as Rae skidded to a stop in front of him._

_She brought her axe down on the back of Nyarlathotep’s neck and beheaded him._

_The body collapsed to the ground, the head rolling away._

_And then all was silent._

_All was still._

_Archie stopped, halfway between the car and the scene in front of him.  But Finn ran right past him._

_They all stared at the dead body of Nyarlathotep, dumbfounded._

_“Was this too easy?”  Finn said after a long silence._

_“I don’t know…”  Rae said, prodding the body with her foot._

_Izzy slowly got to her feet, still crying, her eyes never leaving the body, Chop’s arms still around her - he got up with her._

_Rae turned to look at Finn and suddenly Izzy screamed._

_A tentacle had lashed out of the body, grabbing Chop’s arm.  It reefed him forward, jerking Izzy with him, snapping the bones in his arm.  The tendril squeezed and pulled and twisted so hard, it tore his arm off at the elbow._

_Chop screamed in agony and Izzy pulled him away from the corpse as it seemed to bubble with life, another tentacle bursting from it.  Rae cut the first tentacle off, and then the second.  Finn took aim and started firing at the body again as it started to rise._

_Archie ran back to the car and jumped in the driver’s seat, backing it up towards them._

_The tentacles grew huge talons at the ends and they whipped around viciously, slashing at them, trying to grip them._

_The car stopped near them as Rae kept hacking tentacles off and Archie got out, pulling Chop to his feet and pushing him into the back seat, Izzy following._

_Archie pulled his shirt off and handed it to Izzy._

_“Put pressure on the wound – stop it from bleeding.”  He said and grabbed the sword, before heading into battle._

_“ARGH!”  A razor sharp talon ripped through Finn’s face, the tentacle it was attached to then gripped him around the neck.  Archie hacked at it and freed Finn, guiding him to the back seat, bleeding profusely and holding his eye._

_Rae kept hacking at the writhing mass until it seemed to be struggling to manifest any more tentacles… but she knew he wasn’t dead… did she keep hacking until he was so many small pieces he couldn’t come back?_

_“COME ON!”  Archie grabbed her and pulled her towards the car._

_Rae hesitated… but somehow she knew that wouldn’t work – it could only ever slow him down – eventually he’d reform.  No matter how small she chopped him up._

_He wasn’t as good a fighter as his minions - but he was a damn sight harder to kill than them because he could reform.  And he was unrelenting – he’d keep coming for them until he had them._

_So she went with Archie, instead of trying to finish off Nyarlathotep.  They needed something more than weapons to kill him – she knew that now._

_Archie drove hard, ignoring the traffic rules, speeding, his eyes flicking to the rear-view mirror, for some time._

_Rae offered first aid help and told Archie to head to the Isle of Mann.  Their base there was better hidden than the one in France they’d been heading to, and it was closer – they needed medical help.  And at the moment – they weren’t being followed._

***

 

He appeared to them as that same smirking man they’d seen four years ago.  His eyes completely black, his hair black.  His skin pale and pinkish white. 

Liam had said Nyarlathotep had taken this form when he’d attacked his unit too – three years ago now. 

He sat in the chair opposite Rae and eyed them all.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t take any proffered drinks.”  He said.  His voice sounded like a million lost souls all crying to be freed, forced into the confines of the human language. 

“Pity.”  Finn said and Nyarlathotep arched an eyebrow and chuckled. 

His eyes fell on Chop and his mechanical hand.

“I see that worked out well for you.”  He grinned broadly, “See what gifts your Gods give you.”  He added and Chop narrowed his eyes but managed to say nothing. 

“Why did you want this meeting?”  Rae asked. 

“All business.”  Nyarlathotep turned his eyes back to her.  “My Lord and Father Azathoth, The Whisperer in the Dark, the Mad Piper, the Poet of nightmare lyrics, the King of the Void, Ruler of all the Outer Gods, who sits upon the Throne of Chaos-”

“Alright can you get to the point?”  Rae cut him off and Nyarlathotep’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“I thought you might want to know who you were dealing with.”

“We get it, your dad’s a big deal.”  Rae shrugged, “Us humans have been hearing about you lot for decades – we know who you are.”  She told him, “What does he want?”

“He notices that…” Nyarlathotep shifted in his seat and sighed, “You have killed several of my minions… those you refer to as Lesser Gods.  You have killed many, many Lesser Gods that were not my minions as well… Hundreds in fact.”

“Sure have.”  Rae said with a provocative grin.  She wanted to provoke him to rage.

“And your rebels have slaughtered underlings indiscriminately and even killed a few Church officials.”

“We only kill humans when there’s no other option.”  Rae said.  “But you lot – you’re all on the menu.” 

“That has been noted.” Nyarlathotep said drily.  “But so too has your inability to kill an Outer God, or a Great Old One.”  He said with an amused smile.  “You’re not going to get very far if you can’t kill the… ‘big guns’ as you would call us.” 

Rae said nothing, she simply folded her arms and tilted her head to the side, staring at him. 

Chloe and Finn watched him closely, also scanning the area outside of the warehouse.  Izzy sat in front of Chop who stood at the wall, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible as he pointed his small, hand-held machine at Nyarlathotep.  Whenever Nyarlathotep looked in their direction, Izzy made sure to give him a huge grin – it must be annoying him no end that she was still alive.  It was a subtle way to keep his eyes off Chop.  It was working. 

“My father grows tired of your rebellion.”  Nyarlathotep said finally.  “He had sent me to end you.” 

“Good luck with that.”  Rae said and went to stand up, “We’re leaving now. “

“But my father is a fool.”  Nyarlathotep added and Rae stopped getting up, and stared at him silently, her expression making it clear that she was not impressed or scared.  “I have nothing but contempt for him and his whole court.”  Nyarlathotep said, amused by his own words. 

They all just kept staring at him. 

“As touching as this story is, we have things to do… false gods to kill.”  Rae said and got to her feet.

“I wish to make a deal.”  Nyarlathotep said and Rae again paused. 

“What could you possibly offer us?”  Rae asked dismissively.  “We won’t sell our souls to you or anyone.”

“Oh the price won’t be quite so high.”  He grinned broadly, every single tooth was shiny white and no one there believed a word of what he said.  “But there are two things I could offer you… you can pick one.”

Rae stayed standing and crossed her arms, glaring at him.

“I’m listening.” 

“Enslave my father and you have all of the Outer Gods to command.  You can use them to fight the Great Old Ones.”  He looked down at his hand, even his nails were shiny and smooth.  “You’d need my help to enslave him… but it’s simply a matter of obtaining his flute.”  Another grin.

“You’d help us enslave Az-”

“I wouldn’t speak his name if I were you.”  Nyarlathotep warned, “I had to be given special permission to say, lest he shake the world with his rage…”

“Daddy’s got a temper.”  Rae said, both unimpressed and amused.

“You can see why I might want to be rid of him.”  Nyarlathotep said.

“Hmmm.”  Rae agreed with narrowed eyes, “What’s the catch?”

“Ah yes.  There’s always a catch.”  Nyarlathotep said, tapping his fingers on the table.  “When you enslave and then kill all the others… I am spared.  Neither killed, nor enslaved.”

Rae took in a deep breath and let it out slowly and loudly as she sat down. 

“So, you’re just free to go.” 

“Yes.”  Nyarlathotep answered.  “We never cross paths again.”  His eyes strayed to Izzy.  “I’ll even stop hunting ginger here.”  He stared at Izzy, “But I had such sweet things planned out for you.”  He told her with a toothy grin.  Izzy tried not to shudder and simply glared at him in reply. 

“How benevolent of you.”  Rae said sarcastically.  “You killed my friends.” 

Nyarlathotep shrugged.

“That’s part and parcel of this whole thing, honey buns.”  He told her, “You know that.... That’s war…”

“And what’s the other option?”  Rae asked. 

“Ah!”  Nyarlathotep laughed slightly.  “As a sower of chaos, either option suits me… but this one…” He shook his head.

“You favour this option?”  Rae asked.

“No I don’t.”  He answered, but Rae wasn’t sure if he was lying. 

“What is it?”

“I could help you awaken the Elder Gods…”  He said meaningfully.

“Elder Gods?”  Rae asked, her face not betraying the confusion she felt.  But it did show her annoyance when Nyarlathotep chuckled.

“The Elder Gods.”  Nyarlathotep repeated.

“And how are they any different to the Great Old Ones?”  Rae asked, unimpressed.

“Oh…” He laughed, “they’re very different…”

“And what new terrors will they reign down on us?”  Rae asked.

But Nyarlathotep just grinned and stared at her, his fingers drumming on the table.  He let the silence draw out for a moment before he answered. 

“They hate the Great Old Ones.”  He answered slowly, “they oppose them at every chance…”

“Then why have we never heard of them?”  Finn asked sceptically.

“Of course you have, you silly boy.”  Nyarlathotep said dismissively, without even looking at him.  His eyes stayed on Rae, “you know of Bast, for example.”

“The Egyptian Goddess?”  Rae asked, wondering where he was going with this. 

“No…”  He smirked, “The Elder God.  The Cat-Goddess as you know her… we know her as the protector of humanity.  She’s what you might call ‘a pain in our arses.’”  He looked her up and down and then took in the others in the room.  “Your kind might find her to be a useful ally.” 

“Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling us?”  Rae asked and was given a grin in response.

“Don’t answer now.”  Nyarlathotep said as if he didn’t care what their answer was.  “You have a month to decide.”

“A month?”  Rae was surprised.

But Nyarlathotep simply disappeared. 

Rae turned to look at Finn.

“A month?”  She repeated. 

“Seems like an overly long time.”  Izzy said.

“Suspiciously so.”  Chloe agreed.

“That means he knows something we don’t.”  Finn said simply. 

“Shit’s about to go down.”  Archie agreed and sighed.

“Aye, but I got a full reading of him…”  Chop said happily, “hopefully I can get it analysed before too much shit goes down.”

“Here’s hoping.”  Rae said.

 

***

_“Well that’s Oukranos dead.”  Archie said with a grin.  “How many Lesser Gods is that now?”_

_“Eight.”  Chop answered.  “And they call them Great Gods now.”_

_“Pfft.”  Archie laughed.  “They don’t seem so great to me!”_

_“Party time!”  Chop laughed, pulling Izzy into his arms.  “Who’d’ve known over 2 years ago that you’d become the best damn sniper in the rebellion?”  He asked and she kissed him._

_“And you’re the best damned scientist and field medic.”  She returned.  Chop’s work had helped protect so many rebels in the field of battle – every rebel unit had a medic trained by Chop and Phil, the head doctor, now._

_Chop grinned at his wife and held up the bloody, severed hand of Oukranos._

_“After the party, I’ve got a lot of work to do.”  Chop studied the body parts of every foe they killed, making potions and poisons and all sorts of things to help them in their battle._

_Rae looked at her unit.  She’d been training them for over 2 years.  She was their leader, and the main combatant – she used heavy melee weapons.  Chloe was second in command – she’d been training almost as long as Rae – since they were both 15.  Chloe was an expert in hand-to-hand combat and light weapons.  They often joked that she was like the ninja or assassin of the unit.  She could find hidden routes and sneak up on enemies with ease.  Archie offered back up to Rae, using sword and shield.  And Finn and Izzy were the guns experts.  Izzy could use sniper rifles with normal bullets or poisoned darts.  She was also an expert in bows and crossbows.  Finn liked his magnum pistols, but he kept heavier guns on hand always – Danny’s Ak-47 / flamethrower combination had ended up being his weapon too.  Chop was their field medic and he offered low-level fighting back up, both with guns and sword.  It was better to not get him in battle though – he analysed the enemies and found their weak-spots, making it easier to kill them.  He made poisons for Izzy to use, and he healed them._

_Their unit alone had killed eight Lesser Gods and countless underlings._

_The war was well and truly on.  They had new people joining up every day.  They trained and ran missions in 6-people units.  Kester was the leader of the rebellion in Europe, Rae was his second in command._

_There were rebellions all over the world and Kester was in contact with all the leaders._

_The Gods were furious._

_But now was the time for partying after a successful attack._

_Rae watched Izzy and Chop kissing for a moment.  It had been 4 years since she’d had a lover – her and Liam for a few months.  But that hadn’t worked out well – they were bad for each other.  They worked much better as friends.  And their friendship was good and close now.  Other than a few one night stands over the last 4 years, her bed had been frustratingly empty._

_She looked over at Chloe, cleaning her weapons, completely disinterested in sex or parties.  That was her way.  Although she’d taken quite a shine to Rhys, a leader of one of the other units.  She seemed to tolerate his presence more than most men.  Other than Kester, Liam, Danny and the men in her unit, Chloe didn’t have a lot of time for men.  And she could even be short with the men she called friends.  But Rhys – Rhys she seemed to like._

_And then there was Archie and his boyfriend Tom.  Tom lead one of the other units.  They were getting married in a few weeks._

_Rae smiled and looked around to see if Finn had found himself someone for the night.  She knew he’d had a few one-night stands, but he also was without a partner.  She wondered why – he was a great guy.  She liked him a lot._

_There were hundreds of people here today, celebrating various wins.  This whole town was rebel held.  The Gods didn’t tread here.  Chop had discovered a kind of electrical pulse that kept them away.  At the moment, it could only be rolled out on a small-scale.  But here were now 10 towns around the world that were openly rebel held like this.  And there were hopes to take whole cities, then whole countries, continents – the whole planet._

_Rae scanned the room for Finn, but she couldn’t see him.  And then she felt a hand on the small of her back._

_She turned and saw Finn – he was pulling her into his arms.  And before her mind could catch up with what was happening he was kissing her._

_When he stopped, their foreheads touched and he let out a slightly shaky breath._

_“The nerve of ya.”  Rae said, trying to keep the grin off her face._

_“I can kill Gods, but I been working up the nerve to do that since the first time I saw ya, girl.”  Finn answered, “But you know, life’s short, and we’ve waited long enough.”_

_“We’ve waited long enough?”  Rae asked, amused, “What’s to say I want you?”_

_“If you didn’t, you’d’ve snapped my neck for this impertinence.”  He said simply.  “I knew that if you didn’t stop me, I had a real shot with ya… so…”  He kissed her again, one of his hands going to her breast, the other sliding over her arse._

_“You’re right.”  Rae breathed through the kisses, her hands pulling him closer._

_“WOOOO!  FINN FINALLY GOT THE BALLS TO DO IT!”  Chop yelled out and a cheer went up around the room._

_“GO RAE!”  Izzy called out, “GET THAT DICK!”  She laughed._

_“Come on.”  Rae said to a laughing Finn and she pulled him by the shirt out of the main hall and into her bedroom, shutting out the cheering rebels as she closed the door._

_In the same movement, she pushed him down onto the table and straddled him, pulling his clothes off while he pulled hers off._

_They fucked there, on the table, every thrust making it bang into the wall, announcing to everyone exactly what they were up to – if they hadn’t already guessed!_

_When they were done, they collapsed into the bed together and slept in each other’s arms._

_But in the middle of the night, Liam’s unit returned from a supply run – waking everyone who was sleeping._

_“Nyarlathotep!”  He cried out, falling to his knees.  Rebels that had been quietly drinking into the night all responded with gasps, and cried out for help._

_Rae and Finn jumped up and went out to the hall._

_Liam was covered in blood, Tix’s broken body was in his arms._

_Rae dropped to her knees in front of Liam._

_“Tix?”  Rae said, her face was black and blue.  “Liam, let go of her.”_

_“Nyarlathotep…”  Liam said again, starting to weep._

_Rae got Tix from Liam’s arms._

_“Rhys, get her to medical.”_

_“On it,” Rhys said, taking Tix into his arms, he nodded to Chop, “We need your expertise.”  Chop followed Rhys to the medical clinic._

_Olivia came in, also covered in blood, Barney slumped over her shoulders._

_“Amy’s dead.”  She said and Rae could see that Barney was in a bad way._

_“Archie – get Barney to the medic.”_

_“Yep.”  Archie took Barney and Rae turned back to Liam and Olivia._

_Liam kept whispering._

_“He just appeared form nowhere.  He had five Outer Gods with him. Five!  We didn’t stand a chance.  Danny… DANNY!”_

_“Where’s Danny?”  Rae asked._

_“Obliterated to a cloud of red mist… blood…”  Oliva said softly._

_“Oh…”  Rae put a hand over her mouth.  “No…”_

_Danny, Tix and Liam had been here nearly as long as Rae and Chloe had been._

_“I doubt Tix is gonna survive.”  Olivia said a sob coming to her throat.  “The way he threw her around…”_

_“Alright, you two get to the medic as well.”  Tom said, coming out of the crowd.  He put a hand on Rae’s shoulder.  “We’ve had losses before.”  He said to everyone crowded around them, “We know that comes with this life.  But we fight for our freedom.”  He told them, “Freedom from a life of being cattle.”_

_The rebels quietly, respectfully agreed as Rae got to her feet._

_“Thanks Tom.”  Rae said and she looked out at all the scared faces._

_“Nyarlathotep will pay for this.”  She said.  “They all will.”  The rebels cheered loudly, angrily.  “Get some sleep.  No more partying tonight.”  She ordered and everyone dispersed._

_Rhys came back out from the medical clinic, his eyes downcast._

_“What’s the news?”  Rae said and he shook his head._

_“Tix was already dead when I took her from your arms.”  He said, “Liam’s lost an eye.  Barney’s lost a kidney and a leg.  Olivia’s battered, but she’ll be fine.”_

_“Thanks.”  Rae said softly.  “Head to bed.”_

_“Will do.”  He answered._

_“And Rhys,” He turned back to Rae, “Life’s short, tell Chloe how you feel.”_

_“I was planning on it.”  He said and headed towards Chloe’s room._

_Everyone cleared out of the main hall except for the guards, and Rae was alone with Finn again._

_“Tix and Danny have been my friends since childhood.”  She said softly and Finn put a hand on her shoulder._

_“It’s alright to cry.”  He saw her face, hardened with anger._

_“No.”  She answered.  “I don’t cry… I don’t have time for it.”  She turned to him, “We have to act.”_

_“And act we will.”  Finn agreed.  “We’ll win this war.”_

***

 

Finn poured the water over Tix’s head and she giggled happily, splashing around. 

Rae was sitting on the edge of the bath, a grin on her face, her hand on Danny’s back, making sure he stayed upright as he watched his father and twin sister, his eyes wide. 

“I really gotta thank Elsa for starting the nursery.”  Rae said softly, “She reminded me that a rebellion is never just the fighters… we have to build something as well as tear down something else.”  She stroked her son’s hair gently. 

“Aye, she good quality that one.”  Finn agreed. 

“If we weren’t married, you’d shag her!”  Rae laughed.

“Oi!  No!”  Finn said, shaking his head, “You’d shag Rhys.”

“I did shag Rhys!”  Rae laughed when Finn looked up at her.  “I had a couple of… moments… before you made your move.” 

“I shagged Chloe.”  He confessed.

“I’m amazed.”  Rae laughed. 

“Aye, she cold that one… but she uh… she still likes to shag.”  Finn agreed. 

“So we hear every night with Rhys.”  Rae said and Finn laughed. 

“I’m so glad I finally got brave enough.”  He reached out and stroked a finger down her cheek. 

“Me too.”  Rae agreed.  “I like you with balls.”

They both laughed. 

“I’ll almost regret killing Idh-yaa.”  He said, looking down at his children lovingly. 

“Oh?”  Rae was curious, “Why’s that?”

“I prayed for her to meet a mate and less than 24 hours later… you slammed your brakes on in front o’ me.”  He said with a grin. 

“Well… if she did bring us together, she’s a fool.”  Rae said, pouring a little water on Danny’s head.  “Cos we’re gonna kill ‘em all together.”

“Yes we are.”  He agreed.  “Are we gonna make a deal with Nyarlathotep?”

“I don’t know.”  Rae said.  “It’s tempting… but it’s also…”

“Completely repulsive.”  Finn said and Rae nodded.

“Aye… imagine doing a deal with the monster that killed Danny and Tix.”  She whispered, shaking her head. 

“Well I guess we’ll have a better idea after we talk to Kester.”  Finn said.

“I really don’t know which way he’ll go… and we been in this together from the beginning… after Cthulhu consumed my mother, he looked out for me… I know him well, but I really don’t know how he’ll take this – it’s so unexpected.”

“Aye, you can say that again.”  Finn agreed.  “But I’ll tell you what I am expecting.”  He said and she gave him a quizzical look, “A little loving tonight after we put these two to bed.”  He gave her a smutty wink. 

“If we’re not careful we’ll end up making another one.”  Rae answered.  Contraception was completely banned by Cthulhu because the Gods needed more humans to consume.  It was completely impossible to get any contraception at all.  But the rebels made do with old-fashioned techniques, and abortions when that didn’t work. 

“Hm, we can only hope so.”  Finn answered, leaning over and kissing her. 

“You are horny.”  Rae laughed.

“So horny.”  Finn agreed with a laugh, “Go’ I hope these little’uns don’t understand us.”  He said, poking Tix on the nose making her squeal with delight.  “Time to swap.”  He said and Rae helped him get Danny in front of him, and she held Tix up while Finn bathed Danny. 

“Well I think you should know, Mr Nelson, that your expectations will most likely be met.”  Rae said.

“Oh talk dirty to me, girl.”  He said, his eyes flicking up to her before he focussed on Danny.  She laughed and stroked Tix’s hair gently. 

“I never thought I’d be a mother.”  She said, she looked down at her children, a slightly desperate look in her eyes.  “We gotta make this world better for ‘em.” 

“We will Rae.”  Finn said, “Nothing can stop us.  Nothing.”  She reached over and took his hand for a moment.  “And hopefully nothing will stop us from making love tonight.”  He said and looked down at Danny, “So no grizzling all night.”  He said, kissing the 12month old’s forehead. 

“Would you take his deal?”  Rae asked and Finn thought about it for a moment.

“No.”  He said eventually, “You know there’s a catch… more than he’s saying…”

“Yeah.”  Rae sighed.  “He loves tormenting people so much, I can’t help but wonder if that’s all he’s doing now.” 

“Aye, but… can you imagine him unshackled by Cthulhu’s rules?”  Finn asked. 

“That would be… horrific.”  She looked from her children to Finn, “Maybe that’s the real catch.” 

 

***

 

_Finn staggered forward under the momentum of her push, his hand gripping the wound on his forearm._

_He heard the door slam behind him and spun on the spot to see her looking through a small window in the door at him.  He could hear her locking the door._

_“Please!”  He called to her, “I won’t tell no one!”_

_“Shut up.”  Rae said trying to gather her thoughts._

_She walked away from the door and he panicked that she was going to leave him in here._

_“I wanna help you – I wanna join!”  He cried out through the door to her._

_“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”  Rae said angrily._

_Finn was silent for a moment, thinking everything over._

_“I mean it…”  He said eventually, “I’m sick of being at the mercy of Gods that basically treat us like cattle…”  He saw her face appear at the window again.  “We call our partners ‘mates’ – like we’re animals… I remember when it were wife and husband and girlfriend…”  He walked up to the door, putting his hand on it, “I were only 6 when they came… but I remember what it were like before.  It’s taken ‘em less than 20 years to eat a third of the world’s population… we gotta stop ‘em.”  Finn realised as he spoke that this had been in his heart from the beginning.  This is where he belonged… he just had to make them see it.  Make her believe in him._

_But she didn’t say anything, she just walked away from the door again, leaving him in silence, alone with the dark room._

_He looked around.  He could see from the light coming in from the window in the door that the room had a bed, a toilet, a wash basin and nothing else._

_He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at his wound from where she’d stabbed him with the pen.  He’d be fine – but it hurt._

_He couldn’t sit down for long and got up in agitation and fear.  He started to pace the room.  Until he saw a blond woman looking in through the little window.  She looked thoroughly unimpressed._

_He walked up to the door in time to hear her talking._

_“Why did you bring him here?”  She asked as she walked away from the door._

_Finn looked out the window to see Rae with another girl and a guy._

_The girl had short, light brown hair, she was small and pale, but she had a fierce, determined look.  The guy was tall and lanky, large expressive eyes… and he was wearing two hats._

_“We said we weren’t gonna kill people if we could avoid it…”  Rae answered the blond woman, “he’s harmless.”_

_“But now he knows.”  Said the woman with the light brown hair._

_“I know.”  Rae answered, “But he says he wants to join.”_

_The guy crossed his arms and looked back at the door._

_“Well that’s up to Kester.”  He said._

_“Yeah well, he’s on his way.”  Rae answered as she went to the door.  “I wanted to know what you all thought of him.”  She opened the door._

_Finn stood in the doorway, looking out at them._

_“Well he’s pretty.”  The woman with brown hair said and the guy looked over at her, his brows furrowing.  He took a step forward, putting himself between her and Finn.  Finn saw the brunette woman roll her eyes but grin at the guy.  They were obviously in a relationship._

_“Must be why she brought him here.”  The blond crossed her arms and glared at him._

_“I’m Finn.”  He said softly, trying to look braver than he felt._

_“You know me, I’m Rae.”  Rae said and then turned to the others.  The blond was coolly appraising him and Rae motioned to her, “That’s Chloe.”_

_“I’m-” The brunette woman was about to speak but the guy stopped her._

_“Don’t tell him our names!”  He said, “He’ll tell them when he escapes.”_

_“Danny, you gotta stop being so paranoid.”  The brunette said and put her arms around his neck._

_“No you gotta be way more paranoid.”  Danny said, but he put and arm around her waist affectionately.  She dropped her arms and turned to Finn, Danny’s arm still around her waist._

_“Anyway, I’m Tix.  This is Danny.”  She said._

_“And I’m Kester…”  They all turned to see a bald man at the door, a huge scar went down the side of his neck, and part of his ear was missing.  “Let’s get a look at you then, boy.”  He motioned for Finn to go to him._

_“Here we go.”  Chloe said under her breath._

_“Time for Kester to do his thing.”  Rae said._

_They’d all gone through this – he’d talked with all of them for hours, looking into their very souls._

_But by the end of it, Kester would know if Finn was a rebel at heart._

 

***

 

“Well we were right.”  Chop said as he came in with the Church’s daily flyer.  Rae took it from him and read it out to everyone there.

“In order to protect the human population, Cthulhu, the Father of all, the Chief Calamity blah blah blah,” Rae skipped all of Cthulhu’s titles, “has decreed that half of the world’s population will be interned in breeding farms.”

“Oh my god.”  Izzy whispered.

“The wild population of humans will be immune from consumption – the Gods will consume only farmed humans from now on.”  Rae continued to read, “The population of the farms will be decided by random lottery.”  Rae looked up at them, “All members of the human race are eligible for the lottery.”  She looked back down at it, “Announcements of those going to the farms will be made over the coming month…”  She read ahead, skipping over the details of the random lottery, “humans can choose to volunteer for the breeding farms, and can then elect one person to be immune from the random lottery.”  She said, “People are going to volunteer to protect loved ones.”  She shook her head angrily.  “This is why Nyarlathotep came to us now, and gave us a month to decide.”  She said, holding up the flyer, “He knew this was coming, and he thought it’d make us desperate enough to take his offer.”

“The people in the farms are gonna be forced to breed enough to satisfy the Gods’ hunger.  And they’re gonna be guarded by Outer Gods.”  Chop said.  “And they’ve listed the first couple o’ thousand people to be shipped off.”  Rae turned the paper over and began to read through the names.  “You’re on it, baby girl.”  He said to Rae and then turned to Izzy, “I am too.” 

“No…”  Izzy shook her head.

“Well obviously no one who’s a rebel is going to willingly go to one of these farms.”  Chloe said.

“That’s exactly what we’re gonna do.”  Rae said and they all stared at her.  “All of us are gonna volunteer for the closest farm… it’s time for us to kill an Outer God.” 

 

***

_Finn looked around the darkened room, his fists held up, his breathing deep and steady._

_He looked up at the glass roof – all the rebels were looking down at him, knowing looks on their faces – they’d all been through this already.  Except for Archie, Chop and Izzy, who looked on, terrified.  They were yet to go through their trial, and he saw Chloe ushering them away before they got to see what it was he would face.  His friends had been training for 4 months now – they showed a great deal of promise – even Rae said so._

_This was his trial.  Rae said he was ready – and so here he was._

_She’d told him this morning, and all day he’d been fighting back fear, swallowing down panic…_

_Now he waited._

_The room was large, lined with cupboards and drawers.  There were a few metal tables and chairs._

_He surveyed everything, measuring options and possibilities.  Whatever he had to take on, he only had his bare hands and whatever this room had to offer._

_He heard the door open and a slithering snarling sound, filled the air._

_An underling, probably from Oukranos, the Lesser God of rivers._

_Finn pressed his back to the cupboard behind him and stared into the darkened room.  He could hear it slithering towards him._

_As soon as he saw it, striking at him from the side, he grabbed its neck and reefed it forward, then slammed it into the ground.  He was about to stomp its face in when it slithered away at full speed, hiding in the shadows._

_This human was newly converted to being an underling.  He could tell she had once been a woman.  Her legs had elongated and were starting to look eel like, but they weren’t fully joined yet – to become the one long tail they’d eventually be.  And her fingers weren’t webbed yet – she didn’t have gills yet.  But her eyes were completely yellow, her hair like swamp weeds._

_She was maybe a week into the conversion._

_So she wasn’t at full strength._

_She wouldn’t have poison in her claws or fangs yet._

_Finn almost felt sorry for her._

_He stalked into the darkened room, heading towards the table and chairs, his fist lowered, looking at the shadows; he could see her hiding, waiting to attack at the opportune moment._

_She lashed out at him while his arms were lowered – as he’d expected._

_Finn whipped up the metal chair and slammed it into her face with his full force.  She fell to the floor and he dropped the chair on top of her body, pinning her torso down._

_But she kicked up her long legs and smacked him in the back of the head hard._

_Finn twisted around and grabbed one of her legs and snapped it.  She screamed in agony and kicked him harder with her unbroken leg, making him reel back._

_He slammed into some drawers and he instantly opened them._

_There was ordinary cutlery in here – knives and forks and spoons._

_Finn picked up several forks and took aim at the underling.  He threw one and the three-pronged fork hit her in the eye, sending bright yellow goo dripping down her cheek.  She screamed and pulled at the fork, trying to get it out of her eye, but as she pulled on the fork, her eye stuck to it and she pulled it out.  She was horrified by her mistake and left her eye hanging limply from the socket._

_Finn knew he should feel a sense of horror about what he was seeing – what he was doing.  But he felt nothing.  He knew she would kill him, given the chance, and he was determined to live and to free humanity from these monsters.  He threw the next fork and it hit her in the cheek, embedding there.  She came for him, her hands reaching out for him, her talons long and deadly.  Another fork landed in her neck, and the next too, before he had to drop the forks and grab her hands to stop her from scratching his eyes out._

_Blood gushed from her neck and she screeched at him viciously, trying to bite his face._

_He headbutted her once, twice, his hands gripping her wrists tightly, keeping her claws away from his face.  He headbutted her again and let her wrists go, pushing her back as he did.  Then he grabbed a knife from the drawer and as she came back at him he slammed it into her other eye._

_She screamed and grabbed at her face._

_Finn grabbed her head and twisted it brutally, snapping her neck.  She fell to the ground, apparently dead.  But to make sure, Finn stomped her head until the brain was nothing but goo smeared on the floor.  You could never be sure they were dead until the brain was gone._

_He took a deep breath and looked back up at the glass roof._

_They were all clapping and cheering him.  Rae was grinning – impressed, happy and of course – satisfied.  She’d said he was ready and she’d been right._

_Finn looked back down at the underling he’d killed single-handedly.  He had barely broken a sweat, and other than a few small bruises, he was unharmed.  He had been more than ready physically – he’d been ready physically for a while.  It was the mental part of it that had taken a bit longer.  He understood._

_Killing was never easy, it was never to be taken lightly.  But it was necessary to free humanity from these monsters._

_And now Finn was a rebel – it was his sworn duty to do all he could to protect humanity._

_It felt good._

***

 

“Thanks Elsa.”  Rae said as she took a twin on either hip, both of them gripping her tightly.  “Come on, we gotta go to the clinic.”  She said, “Your daddy’s got some burns.”  She told them.  But she couldn’t help but smile.  He’d be fine.  And they’d done it.

They’d gone to the farm, as cattle, rallied the people, and killed Yomagn'tho, and Outer God made of fire.  Chop had been the one to figure it out – ‘it’s made of fucking fire!’ he’d yelled mid-battle, ‘let’s douse that fucking twat!’

It had taken a lot of water, and a lot of fighting and blocking fiery blows, bullets laced with poisons… and a lot more water.  But they’d killed him.

They knew he was dead, a blast wave and echoed out from the corpse and the groans of Cthulhu’s imminent arrival had been heard instantly.

And they had all fled – the human cattle were now rebels - they had joined them. 

“WE KILLED AN OUTER GOD!”  Archie was crying out loudly. 

“PARTY TIME!”  Chop screeched happily, half of his chest was covered in burns.

“Clinic first!”  Rae ordered him, unable to wipe the grin from her face.

No one had died.

They’d killed an Outer God. 

And no one had died.

She went down to the clinic and watched the doctors work on bandaging Finn’s stomach.  He was in pain, but Chop’s salves were practically miracle workers – he was using the same biological processes that the Gods used when healing themselves.  Chop had spent a lot of time researching the Gods’ biology and physiology now. 

Finn reached out for her and she went to him.  He was grinning.

“Next we kill a Great Old One.”  He said, “Put the whole fucking world on notice, girl.”  His eyes were alight with excitement.  “We fucking did it!”

“Stay still!”  The head doctor, Phil, said, half laughing, half serious. 

Kester came in to check on his rebels and listen to their talk. 

“Uncle Archie’s been thinking about that!”  He said as he took Tix from Rae’s hip and danced around with her. 

“Oh aye?”  Rae laughed as Chloe took Danny and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead. 

“Rhan-Tegoth.”  Archie said.

“Rhan-Tegoth?”  Rae asked.

“He’s one of the weakest Great Old Ones.”  Archie said, “And we should start easy and move up.”

“An easy to kill Great Old One is still going to be the hardest challenge we’ve ever faced.”  Chloe noted. 

“Aye, but it’s the point of this whole rebellion.”  Rae said.  “We need to hit fast – while they’re not expecting it.”

“Agreed.”  Finn said.

“They’ll be expecting us to be laying low and re-grouping.”  Izzy said, “I agree, now’s the time to strike.” 

“After this attack on Rhan-Tegoth.”  Kester said, “We’ll make a final decision about Nyarlathotep’s offer.”

 

***

 

_Finn lit up a cigarette as he walked through the base.  There was a lot of activity – people unpacking his ute._

_He’d just come back from a supply run._

_He was looking forward to getting back to Rae.  he’d been thinking about making love with her all day._

_He was grinning when he opened the door to their shared room._

_But Rae was sitting on the bed, crying._

_“What is it?”  He asked and closed the door behind him._

_She looked up at him, wiping away her tears fiercely._

_But she didn’t say anything.  She looked at him, her face screwed up in pain and worry._

_“Rae?”_

_“I’m pregnant…”  She said._

_Finn felt the air thump out of his lungs._

_“Preg-?”_

_“I can’t do this…”  She said firmly, “not in this world.”_

_She looked away from him._

_Finn looked at her – hunched over, her arms wrapped around her stomach._

_“Do you wanna do it?”  He asked._

_“What?”  She turned back to him._

_“I’ll back you whatever you choose Rae.”  He said, “I know abortions are an hourly occurrence on this base.  And that’s fine.”  He said, “But… do you wanna do this?  Do you wanna keep it?”_

_She looked away for a moment and then her eyes returned to his._

_“Aye…”  She whispered, as if she were confessing a terrible secret._

_“Then we do it.”  He said firmly.  He sat down beside her and took her hand.  “We can do this Rae.”_

_“Really?”  She asked, confused.  “You wanna do this with me?”_

_“I do.”  He answered.  “It’ll be all the more reason to rid ourselves of these fuckers… we’ll fight fiercer.”  He added.  “And uh…”  He gave a sly grin, “I been looking for a nice ring for ya for a while now.”  He added._

_“You wanna marry me?”_

_“Course I do Rae.”  He said, “I love you.”_

_“We mostly do hand-fasting here now… tie pretty bows around our joined hands and say nice vows...  Elsa oversees it all.”  Rae said, looking down at her hands._

_Elsa did a lot around the base, bringing love and mental stability to the rebels.  She did counselling to help them overcome the horrors they saw, helped with child-care and did weddings.  She had reminded them that rebels needed more than healthy, strong bodies to fight – their minds and hearts needed to be healthy and strong too._

_“Aye I know.”  He said, the sly grin never leaving his face as he reached into his back pocket.  “Purple’s your favourite colour, right?”  He said as he pulled out a beautiful satin ribbon in deep purple.  She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears and filled with love._

_He already had a ribbon for the hand-fasting._

_“Yeah.”  She said softly._

_“You gonna marry me?”_

_“Yeah.”  She repeated._

_“We better go talk to Elsa.”  He said._

_“Looks like it.”  She said and sniffed hard.  “You sure about this…?”  She asked, worried, “This world is…”_

_“Horrible, hard, cruel.”  Finn nodded, “And all we can give them is our love and protection.”  He said, “I’m sure.”  He stroked her face, “But to be clear Rae, if you want an abortion, I’ll back you – I won’t be upset.  It’s your decision 100%.”  He reassured her.  “But… aye, I’m sure I want this baby.  It’s something we made together - made with our love.  I want it.”_

_“Me too.”  Rae said, “I’m just so scared that…”  She sighed and shook her head, “I’m a rebel I don’t have time to be scared.”  She swiped at her tears again, “Or to fucking cry!”_

_“In this room, you do.”  Finn put his arm around her shoulders.  “You can be our fearless leader out there.  You can be the strongest of us, out there… But in here you never have to hide.  Neither of us do… we can both just be… whatever we are.”  He said.  “I’m scared too.  So scared.”  He confessed._

_She kissed him and he pulled her into his arms._

_“We can do it.”  Rae said, suddenly feeling a surge of confidence, her moment of fear passed.  “Together, there’s nothing we can’t do.”_

***

 

“We have units securing the salt pans.” He said, giving Chop a grin and then he turned to look at the rest of them.  “If this mission goes well, we will not be taking Nyarlathotep’s deal.”  Kester saw the satisfied looks on all of their faces. 

“Good.”  Rae voiced the opinion of all the rebels, “I don’t wanna owe one of these fucks anything.” 

There were noises of agreement and Kester nodded and took a deep breath. 

“Alright, we have our 6 best units heading out on this mission – to kill Rhan-Tegoth… A Great Old One.”  Kester said, feeling the full weight of his words, “Rae, Rhys, Evelyn, Tom, Nikki and Liam.”  He looked at the unit leaders.

Rae looked over at Liam, his eye patch had yellow stars painted on them – that had been his son’s artwork, Chet.  He was 6. 

Olivia, his second in command and wife, was pregnant with their third child, and just starting to show.  He had rebuilt his team and worked them hard, Barney had learned to fight on his prosthetic leg. 

Rae was so glad to see Liam overcoming the terrible losses he’d experienced as a unit leader.  She knew counselling with Elsa had helped him a lot. 

“Rhan-Tegoth has been reported to be living in a wax museum in London, turning random visitors into living wax mannequins.”  Kester said.  “Each unit leader commands their unit, but you all report to Rae and take commands from her.  Each Second in command remains so to their unit, but Rhys is the second in command to the mission.”

“Understood.”  Rhys said and the unit leaders and second-in-commands all nodded.  No one disagreed with this – Rae was the most experienced among them.  Rhys was the second most experienced unit leader among them – he’d started his own rebel movement at the same time Kester had.  They’d merged their movements years ago, Rhys was happy to give up the leadership and focus on the fighting.

Some thought Chloe should lead her own unit, but everyone knew she’d never leave Rae’s unit.  Some thought she should be second-in-command for the mission – it had come down to a coin toss between her and Rhys.  Chloe didn’t mind either way.  Nor did Rhys. 

“Archie.”  Kester said and Archie stepped forward.

“Ok, Rhan-Tegoth has been described as a 15 foot long… amphibious ape that is insect like.”  Archie said looking down at his notes.  The unit leaders had already poured over the lore with Archie.  But Kester had felt it was best to keep it from the others for as long as possible – so they did not let fear fester in their hearts.  “He has a, uh, globular torso and a spherical head, with three eyes, a proboscis that’s described as a foot-long trunk, and gills.”  He looked back down at his notes.  “He has six long, thin legs, ending with crab-like claws.  He appears to be covered in hair or fur but… they’re actually deadly tentacles.”  Archie looked up at them. 

“Why are the Great Old Ones all so horrifically, fucking ugly?  Tom asked and they all laughed.

“Easy for you to say, pretty boy.”  Liam joked and Tom winked at him before turning his attention back to his husband, Archie.  Archie gave him a small smile and then looked back down at his notes.

“He doesn’t have a great deal of power, unlike the other Gods, but he is vital to not only their return to Earth but some have theorised he’s essential to them being able to stay here.  He warms the oceans for them.”  He said and they all glanced at each other.

“Seems important to kill him.”  Izzy said with a grin.

“Yeah.”  Olivia agreed. 

“However,” Archie said, “No one that has stood against him has survived.”  He said, “He kills by crushing his victims, then puncturing them with his tentacles and then sucking away their faces with his proboscis.”  He looked up at them.

“Tough break.”  Evelyn said with a shrug, “That’s not how I’m going out.”  She looked at her unit, and then at the other units.  “That’s not how any of us are going out.” 

“Aye, I’m dying old with me grandkids surrounding me, and me wife holding me hand.”  Finn said. 

They all went told each other how they intended to die – most of them were similar to Finn’s. 

“You have an hour to prepare.”  Kester said.  “If you have any questions, ask me now, as I will be gone in 15 minutes.”

“Where are you going?”  Chloe asked. 

“As you may, or may not, know, Elsa and I are members of the Church.”   Kester told them.

“We’ve been working our way up through the ranks for years, gaining access to their main temple.”  Elsa added with a sly grin.  “It’s time to bring them down.”

“We have our own mission.”  Kester agreed.  “When we all get back here tomorrow, the world will be a very different place if we all succeed in our dual missions.”

“The Church will be gone, and the first Great Old One will have died at human hands.”  Elsa said, “I can hardly wait for this brave new world.”

“Alright Rae, you’re in charge.”  Kester said.

“One hour, people!”  Rae said.  She turned to Finn and took his hand. 

They headed to the nursery, run by people appointed by Elsa. 

They had a very important farewell to make – to their beloved children.

They had written their will, and had decided on who would look after them should they both die.  And then who would look after them should their first choice die, or their second… third… fourth… they had 24 options lined up. 

As soon as they saw them, the reality of just how dangerous this mission was fell on Rae. 

“We’re not gonna die.”  Finn whispered in her ear as they sat down with their children, Rae taking Tix’s little hand and stroking Danny’s cheek. 

“We can’t.”  She said, “We can’t leave them all alone in this world.”  She said, determined. 

 

***

_“She shouldn’t’ve been out here this pregnant.”  Chloe said, her mouth drawing into an angry line.  She put a protective arm around Rae’s shoulders._

_“Aye, but you try telling her anything.”  Finn said._

_“Shut it, both of ya!”  Rae said and started panting._

_They’d been on a supply run when they’d been attacked by a bunch of underlings._

_Rae had fought, her huge pregnant belly not slowing her down one bit… until her water broke.  She’d been getting back pain, and then stomach pain all day.  Now she knew why._

_And still she’d swung her huge axe at their enemies, screaming in the agony of child-birth, until every last one of them were dead, and Chop had brought the car to them._

_She crawled into the car, feeling glad she could finally focus on this pain and getting the babies out safely.  Rae found that now she didn’t have to fight, she could manage the pain quite well.  All her disciplined training helped her with this moment._

_“Oh fuck, how do we do this?”  Archie asked._

_Chop looked at Izzy with concern, she had just suffered her fifth miscarriage.  But she was holding Rae’s hand and offering gentle words of support._

_“Alright Chop, drive.  We need to get back to the base.”  Chloe said, “We need doctors for this!”_

_“Rubbish.”  Izzy said, “Women have been doing this since there were humans.  Rae’s in no danger.”  She soothed Rae._

_But Rae turned her eyes to Finn._

_“You’re fine.”  He whispered to her._

_“I need to push.”  She tried to put on a strong face._

_“Then push.”  He said as Chop sped back to the base._

_“Make sure we’re not being followed.”  Rae ordered Chloe through gritted teeth, the tendons on her neck standing out._

_“Yes.”  Chloe said, feeling more comfortable with that scenario than with childbirth._

_She kept a look out of the windows, leaving childbirth to those that were okay with that kind of thing._

_“Phil said it was twins?”  Archie asked as he pulled supplies out of Chop’s medical bag._

_“Aye.”  Finn said._

_“It might be better if Archie and Chop swapped.”  Chloe said, remembering Chop’s medical expertise._

_“Good idea.” Chop said._

_“But don’t stop the car.”  Chloe said, her eyes taking in their surroundings._

_“No problem.”  Archie said as he climbed into the front seat._

_Chop and Archie executed a perfect swap – they’d done it many times before._

_Chop climbed into the back seat and started unbuttoning Rae’s pants._

_“No one thought to get your kit off hey?”  He said cheekily._

_“No one’s brave enough to strip the unit leader other than Finn.”  Archie teased, his eyes on the road._

_“And me now.”  Chop said, pulling Rae’s pants down as she pushed, panting loudly.  He pulled Rae’s legs apart, not waiting for politeness.  “Alright Raemundo, you are fully dilated and already crowning!”  He said with a big grin._

_“That’s good?”  Finn asked as Rae squeezed his hand painfully._

_“The first baby’s coming now!”  Chop said._

_Finn kissed Rae’s sweaty forehead and stroked her hair back gently._

_“You got this Rae.”  He whispered._

_“Push now.”  Chop said and Rae pushed hard.  “Alright, let me just get me fingers in there…”  He said as he turned the baby slightly.  “Another push…”_

_And the first baby was out._

_“Look!”  Finn said softly in Rae’s ear, “Look at what we made.”_

_“A girl!”  Chop said and handed the baby to Izzy, “Wrap her up!”  He said as the baby started to cry.  “Let’s get the second baby out!”  He said bracingly to Rae._

_Rae pushed and Finn praised her on her strength, her beauty, her everything as he watched the miracle of their second child being born, his face close to Rae’s._

_Rae felt tears in her eyes as Chop told her the second baby was crowning._

_And only a few minutes later-_

_“A boy!”  He declared and went to hand it to Izzy.  Izzy handed the girl to Finn and took the boy as Rae collapsed back and cried with joy._

_“Alright, we gotta birth the placenta still.”  Chop said.  “But you can put them babies on the breast if you like.”  He added._

_Less than ten minutes later it was all over.  Chop was in the passenger seat up front now, Izzy on his lap, Chloe was still in the back seat, but her focus was completely on checking if anyone was following them._

_And Finn was holding his daughter to his wife’s breast while she held her son to her other breast._

_They stared at the babies, completely unable to find words for the miracle they both were._

_Rae looked up at Finn._

_“I love you.”_

_It was only the sixth time she’d told him.  But he’d known every day since that first time they’d laid together, that she loved him._

_He kissed her deeply, tears in his eyes and they both laughed, exhausted, happy._

_“Hello Tix.”  Rae said softly to the little girl, “Hello Danny.”  She said to the tiny boy._

_They’d already agreed on names.  It hadn’t even been a debate.  Boy or girl, it didn’t matter – the twins were going to be Tix and Danny._

_“I’m you dad.”  Finn said, “And this is your mum.  And we love you so much.”  He told them._

_Tix blinked slowly and looked at him._

_Danny suckled on the breast happily._

_“They’re so perfect.”  Rae whispered, her hand going up to Finn’s face.  “Look what we made!”  She laughed again, unable to take her eyes off her two babies._

_Finn couldn’t look away either.  Not until he turned to look at his wife.  She was stunningly beautiful at all times.  But never more than she was now, covered in blood and sweat and staring at their babies._

***

 

Kester paced the common room, waiting for his people to come back from the fight. 

Elsa sat at the table, with all the family members who had people out there.  She was giving Tix a bottle of Rae’s pumped breast milk, her eyes going to Stacey’s daughter, then to Liam’s son. Chet was adopted by Liam, and when he and Olivia had gotten married, she’d adopted him too.  Chet was playing with his younger brother, Aaron – Olivia had birthed that boy and was hoping for a girl with the next child. 

Elsa knew everyone’s story. 

She looked over at Olivia’s father.  He cooked meals for everyone – he was in charge of the kitchen.  He was looking at his grandchildren happily.  How he had avoided being consumed by the Great Old Ones was quite the mystery.  They knew that now he was on rebel territory he was safe – but how had he survived until then – why hadn’t the Gods taken him?  They took the elderly…  Chop was studying it, hoping that unravelling the mystery would offer them a means of blocking the Gods from taking people, other than the electrical pulse machine Chop had invented. 

Danny was already done, so once Tix was done, Elsa handed her to Lilly, the main carer in the nursery, and headed over to Kester.

“Pacing won’t bring them back sooner.”  She said gently. 

“I know.”  He said and turned on the news. 

Everyone was still reeling from the loss of the Church – the main temple, the Church leader and all the main apostles had been blown up.  They glanced at each other, giving themselves a satisfied smirk. 

“No more propaganda.”  Elsa said, “At least for a while.” 

The news was also reporting major uprisings in almost every human farm around the globe.  The rebels had infiltrated almost every farm – a unit or 2 inside all of them.  Outer Gods were falling like flies.  Chop had discovered that the Outer Gods, and probably the Great Old Ones too, were made of the same things as anything that existed in this universe, just in a different combination than they were used to – and that just meant finding the right thing in the right combination to kill them.

Just before he’d left on this mission to kill a Great Old One, he’d discovered Nyarlathotep’s weakness.  Salt.  Chop had said he was just like a big ol’ slug – enough salt would do him in.  A small amount wouldn’t harm him… it had to be a lot. 

Kester had immediately sent rebels to secure the nearest salt flats, mining had begun.  They would not be taking his deal.  They’d all heard the cry of rage that had filled the world when Rhan-Tegoth had died.  The news wasn’t reporting it yet – but everyone had felt the death of a Great Old One.  Now they knew they could kill the Great Old Ones without any help from Nyarlathotep, there was no reason to even consider his terrible deal.

“There’s dancing in the streets.”  Macca said as he came in from a supply run.  Beth was the leader of this unit; she’d become somewhat of an expert on getting hard to find supplies, especially the sort Chop needed for his work.  The 6 of them were grinning, bags of supplies in their hands.

“We felt him die.”  Beth said, “the people are rejoicing – there’s open rebellion everywhere now.”  She said. 

“They’re losing their grip on this world.”  Macca said with a grin. 

“Good.”  Kester said, “Go grab a meal after you store them supplies.”  He told them and turned to Elsa.

“We’re gonna have to send out more units to attack the Great Old Ones as quickly as possible.”  Elsa noted.

“Aye we will.”  He said with a grin. 

There was a sound of surprise and they both looked over to see Beth and Macca kissing. 

“I wonder which one of them finally got the bravery up to do it?”  Elsa said with a grin. 

“Speaking of doing it…”  Kester said delicately and Elsa turned her eyes to him.

“I might not like where this is going, old man.”  She said. 

“He’s crazy about you.”  Kester said simply.

“He’s 27.”

“Phil is an adult, he can make his own choices.”

“I’m 43.”  Elsa countered, “It’s crazy to even think about it.”

“No what’s crazy is rejecting love in this fucked up world.”  Kester said.  “He’s not a child.  He’s a fully-grown man.  With full combat training – he’s helped kill 2 Outer Gods.  And he’s our head doctor – he’s saved countless lives, including mine.  He knows what he’s about.” 

Elsa sighed.

“Any minute now they’ll be back.”  She changed the topic.

“Give him a chance… I know you feel something for him.”  Kester persisted. 

“Maybe I do.”  She said softly.  “It’s not your business, old man.”  She said and he smiled fondly. 

“My wife was consumed by these bastards, at same time Rae’s mum was taken.”  He said, “I started this whole rebellion to avenge my wife.”  He put a hand on Elsa’s arm, “I miss her, I love her so much… but I’d give almost anything to not be alone anymore.  Don’t be alone anymore, my friend…” 

Elsa looked at him for a moment and then gave him a hug. 

“Maybe when this is over, you can let yourself love again.”  She said to him softly. 

“I hope so.”  He said and they gave each other a pat on the back, laughing at their foolish sentiment – there was no time for that now. 

Another 10 minutes passed by agonisingly slowly.  Kester was terrified that the death of Rhan-Tegoth had taken out his people too. 

They watched the news, which finally started to report that Rhan-Tegoth was dead, and with his death, the temperatures of the oceans were steadily dropping, confining the Great Old Ones to the tropical regions. 

A cheer went up.

It was all happening so quickly. 

Everywhere that wasn’t tropical was free of the Great Old Ones.  But the Outer Gods could still roam those regions – freely now.  It just changed the battle – it didn’t end it.  Kester was already thinking strategy in his head.  The rebels in South East Asia were particularly fierce – he wanted to head out that way and give them a hand after killing off some more Outer Gods. 

Another ten minutes.

And finally.

Finally, the doors opened and Rae, bloodied and exhausted walked through them, her unit following.  They were all alive.

Kester cheered, relieved tears coming to his eyes.

They’d done it.

But as Tom’s unit came in, he saw them carrying the broken body of Stacey, Tom’s second in command.  She was dead, her face collapsed in - Rhan-Tegoth had sucked her face away. 

Kester’s eyes went over to Stacey’s daughter, Alex.

“I’ll tell Alex.”  Tom said to Kester, “And I’ll take care of her.”  He added grimly.

“I’ll come with ya.”  Archie said, taking his hand for support.  “Looks like we’re adopting then.”

“Looks like it.”  Tom said sadly. 

Kester went up to Rae as another body was brought in, this one from Nikki’s unit. 

“Three dead.”  Rae said softly to him.  “It could have been much worse… that... was… it was quite a battle.”  She said, bleeding from several cuts on her face.  Finn limped up beside her and put his arm around her waist.

“It’s not easy to kill them,” Finn reported, “But it is possible.” 

“Put their names on the roster of fallen heroes.”  Kester said loudly.  “Tonight, we celebrate their heroism.” 

A call went out among the rebels – a loud battle cry that was filled with mourning. 

Rae and Finn went over to see their children, both of them hugging the babies to their chest, holding each other tightly.  It had been close - both of them had nearly died. 

All around them, people were clinging to their loved ones, mourning was taking place, but also celebration was sparking. 

They’d done it.  They’d killed a Great Old One. 

“We have one night to celebrate and mourn.”  Kester called out to everyone, “And then tomorrow, the battle continues.”


	28. Day 28 - A challenge given to you by someone else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So a couple of people asked for a part 2 to the Buffy crossover – so here it is! part 1 of this is day 6 - a fandom you love but never write for

 

 

“I am so glad my mum isn’t home this weekend.”  Chloe said, looking around wide-eyed. 

“Ah, but why does it look like the Bronze out here?”  Archie asked, turning around on the spot.  “But with a lot more alcohol…” 

Everyone seemed to be drunk, or getting drunk, and very keen on partying. 

Rae sighed when she saw her mother, sitting in the gutter, drinking from a plastic water bottle – but the liquid inside it was clearly not water. 

“I thought I’d seen the last of this behaviour with that chocolate that got everyone drunk… bloody demon plots…”  Rae grumbled as she marched over to her mother.  “What are you doing?” 

“Oh hey, would ya look over here.”  Chloe said and Archie followed her, leaving the awkward conversation between Rae and her mother alone.  “Who knew Sunnydale had one of those.”  She continued as Archie’s parents stumbled up the street, arm in arm, singing Rolling Stones’ songs loudly. 

Archie stared at them while Chloe cleared her throat. 

“Okay, something is going on here.”  Archie said, “If my mother’s not yelling or throwing dished at my father, then I know the end is pretty seriously nigh.” 

“ARCHIE!”  Archie’s father had spotted them. 

“Oh no.”  He started to back away.

“Did I tell you to sleep in the garage?”  He asked and Archie nodded, unable to speak.  “Cos of that plate you broke.”

“Uh huh.”  Archie nodded.

“I reckon it’s time to go back to your room, son.”  He said and patted Archie hard on the back. 

He slapped Archie’s mother on the arse and she giggled.  They wandered off together before Archie could say anything.

“Eurgh.”  He shuddered.  “What hell beast has been summoned and unleashed upon the Earth to make that happen?”

But Chloe was looking up the road at a man, wearing dark brown leather pants and no shirt.  His feet were bare and his hair was long and dark brown.  He had tattoos all over his well-muscled arms and torso, a little stubble, and large, chocolate-brown, soulful eyes. 

“What are you looking at?”  Archie said as he saw Chloe’s open mouth.  He looked up the road and saw the man.  “I don’t like the looks of him.” 

“Of who?”  Rae said as she re-joined them.  She followed Chloe’s gaze and her own jaw dropped.

He was walking down the street, a soft smile on his lips as he watched the pandemonium around him.

“I don’t like this at all.”  Archie muttered. 

“He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”  Chloe whispered.

“Who is he?”  Rae asked.

“Good question.”  Archie said, “I’ve never seen him around before.  He’s probably a demon.” 

“He doesn’t look like a demon.”  Chloe said.

“Alright, we need to talk to Kester.”  Archie said firmly, dragging them both away from the man.

 

*

 

Kester took his glasses off and polished them. 

“She thought she was drinking water?”  He asked Rae.

“She literally had a plastic water bottle, filled with red wine.”  Rae said, unimpressed. 

“Hm.”  Kester said thoughtfully.

“Ok, but you’re not focussing on the main issue here.”  Archie said, “This man.”

“This beautiful man.”  Chloe corrected.

“This beautiful man… has obviously bewitched Chloe, and Rae… and intoxicated the whole town.”

“Of course,” Rae said with an amused smile, “Because every attractive man that comes near us is evil.” 

“Yes.”  Archie said, “So far.” 

Rae was about to disagree and then thought about it for a moment… he was right. 

“Oh.”  She said sadly and scrunched up her nose. 

“He’s some sort of demon, summon-” Arhcie said, but Kester cut him off.

“Mass intoxication is the M.O of several demons.”  Kester said and he opened up a book.

“What’s up nerds?”  Izzy said as she came in, Chop following her silently. 

Kester looked up at them and put his demonology book behind the counter. 

“You need a book?”  He asked.  This was the school library after all. 

“They know.”  Rae said, putting her feet up on the desk.

“You do know it’s meant to be a secret identity?”  Kester said, unimpressed.

“Yes but being kidnapped by a vampire does tend to open one’s eyes.”  Izzy said, “He was cute.”  She added. 

“And dead.”  Chop added, sitting down and putting his fingers together like a steeple.   

“I don’t really know if it counts as dead when you’re that hot.”  Izzy said and they all stared at her. 

“So if death has conditions and parameters, one could conceivably be partially dead under the right circumstances, one of which being the level of hotness one has…”  Chop mused.  “Or partially alive.  Which probably sums up most of Sunnydale’s inhabitants.  Although I never really considered Sunnydale to be an overly hot location.” 

There was a moment of silence while everyone stared at Chop.

“Good god, are you 2 going to be here a lot?”  Kester asked. 

“Well if hell’s minions are walking around town, I figured the safest place to be is with demon girl here.”  Izzy said, pointing to Rae.

“That’s me.”  Rae said, unimpressed, “demon girl.”

“Anyway, can we get back to the important business of the preternaturally good-looking demon, and how we’re going to kill him?”  Archie asked. 

“Ooh!” Izzy cooed, “Are we talking about my abductor?”

“No, we haven’t seen him since.”  Rae said. 

“He’s probably still trying to get over losing me.”  Izzy said sagely. 

“Yes, that’s it.”  Rae said.  “I don’t suppose this little stunt could be the work of my newest nemesis?”  Rae asked and Kester rubbed his forehead.

“I don’t know.  Without a name, looking up this vampire and his history of behaviour is… next to impossible.”  He answered, “But this good looking man-?”

“He was better than good looking.”  Chloe answered.

“You see?”  Archie said, “putting spells on everyone.”

“Y-yes…”  Kester looked at Archie dismissively for a moment and turned to Rae, “You say he was walking through the drunken people, and he was unaffected?”

“Well so were we.”  Rae said, “Unaffected, I mean.”

“And,” he opened up a book, “the people were drinking water…?”  He mused.

“That’s what my mum thought.”  Rae answered. 

“It could be Zagan… a powerful demon.”  Kester said, “He mostly deals in mischief, like turning water into wine.”  Kester showed them the picture of him, “He’s said to look like a bull with griffin wings…”

“No.”  Chloe shook her head.

“But,” Kester turned the page.

“That’s him!”  Chloe said excitedly, and then realised what that meant.  “Oh… drat.” 

“He’s said to become an attractive man after a few minutes among humans.”  Kester said and turned the book back so he could read it.  “He needs to be summoned – he can’t just appear.”  Kester noted.

“Which brings me back to my new nemesis.”  Rae said.

“Gee, you’re obsessed with him.”  Izzy said, “Just get over him already – I’m the one he abducted.”

“Yes, that’s a solid basis for a relationship.”  Chop said.

“What, and making out in a car is?”  Izzy snarked, referencing the fact that they’d been making out in Chop’s car when they’d been abducted.

“Touché.”  Chop answered. 

Rae decided to ignore Izzy’s self-involvement for a while and turned back to Kester. 

“The question is, if he’s risen-”

“Summoned.”  Kester corrected.

“Summoned this Zabar guy-”

“Zagan.”

“Zagan… what’s he trying to divert attention from?”  Rae asked. 

“Good question.”  Kester said.  “I suggest we try to find out.” 

 

*

 

Rae went to the house she’d first seen him in. 

She went alone.  At night, of course.  She wanted to get information out of him before she killed him. 

The walk there had been interesting – Zagan was still intoxicating half of Sunnydale, but Kester was still working on a way to banish him.  Apparently just killing him wouldn’t work – he would just re-form.  But he seemed mostly harmless – people under his influence stayed happy and un-dangerous, dancing and partying in the streets. 

So Rae focussed on this new vamp, and trusted that the gang would get that job done. 

She went in through the front door.  The place seemed to be deserted.  But she headed upstairs anyway, hoping he’d be around, or there’d be some clue as to his whereabouts. 

When she went into the room where he’d been holding Chop and Izzy, the door slammed shut behind her. 

She grinned. 

She’d been expecting this. 

And he was on her instantly. 

They fought brutally. 

He pushed her to her limits and she thought he must be a very old vampire to be so strong and such a gifted fighter. 

The fight was long, and they were both sweating, exhausted, but neither could get the upper hand.  She had slammed him into walls, he had slammed her into walls.  She had punched, kicked and headbutted him, he had punched, kicked and headbutted her.  She blocked most of his blows, he blocked most of her blows. 

But finally Rae seemed to get one up on him, she tripped him and he landed flat on his back.  Instantly she was on him – straddling him, aiming her fists at his face.  At first he blocked her blows, but then he let his hands drop and he looked up at her, a smirk on his face that even her punches didn’t wipe away. 

“Are you enjoying this?”  Rae asked, amazed and disturbed.

“A little.”  He said, his eyebrows popping up suggestively, “Aren’t you?”

“No!”  Rae said, jumping up and raising her fists.

But the vampire didn’t jump up to keep fighting, he just propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her. 

There was a silence as they stared at each other. 

But the vampire slowly let his eyes fall to his own groin.  Rae followed his eyes and a huge bulge - he had an erection, poking up under his pants, making a tent.

She scoffed, disgusted, annoyed… But she didn’t stop looking and he chuckled. 

Her eyes flashed back up to his and she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. 

He stayed on the ground, leaning back on his elbows, leaving his legs stretched out before him, his chest and torso open, his eyes on her.

“Why didn’t you just come by daylight and kill me, slayer?”  He asked, amused. 

“Did you raise Zagan?”  She asked. 

“No, I did not raise Zagan.”  He said, his eyes twinkling with mirth. 

“Z-Zabar?”  She asked, unsure of the name.

“Zagan.”  He said, the smirk returning to his face.

“Do you know who did?” 

“No one raised Zagan.”  He answered. 

“Are you saying that’s not Zagan wandering through Sunnydale?”  Rae asked, her tone showing how annoyed she was. 

“Oh, no, that’s definitely Zagan doing his thing in Sunnydale.”  Finn said, “He does good work.”  He laughed when Rae narrowed her eyes at him.  “No one raises Zagan – he is summoned.”  Finn explained, “They are very different things.”

Rae groaned in frustration.  Kester was always saying stuff like that. 

“Did you SUMMON Zagan?”  She asked him, her eyes flashing dangerously.

“You’re very beautiful.”  He said and watched her expression turn from annoyance to confused.

“What?”

“My name’s Finn.”  He told her.

“I don’t care.”

“Yes you do.”  He said, “Aren’t you going to get your watcher to look me up in his little books?”  He said knowingly, “We all know you Rae… we know Kester… we know how you work.”

“If that’s meant as a threat-”

“Just facts.”  Finn said simply, a crooked smile coming to his face. 

Rae put her hands on her hips and glared at him for a moment.

“Did you summon Zagan?”  She asked again. 

He sighed and let a moment of silence build between them.

“I did.”  He said eventually 

“So what are you trying to hide?”  She asked and his crooked smile became a broad grin.

“Clever.”  He said as he got to his feet.  “You’ll find out soon enough.”  He said as he jumped up to the rafters.  Rae looked up at him.  “Just make sure you look at it from all angles… get that computer nerd friend of yours to do some searching.”  He said and jumped out of the already broken skylight. 

Rae sighed and looked around the room. 

“I’m not telling Chloe you called her a nerd.”  Rae muttered, wondering what his game was.

 

*

 

It took another full day for them to figure out the un-summoning spell.  Chloe had seemed very interested to help Kester with it and Rae was glad she was finding her feet.  After Chloe had found out that vampires were real – in a very similar way to how Izzy and Chop had found out – she’d been a little lost and scared.  But this magic thing that Kester had to do to un-summon Zagan really piqued Chloe’s interest. 

The clean-up and hangover after the 2-day long party had revealed nothing sinister, until Monday at school.

“What’s going on?”  Rae said as she approached the gymnasium. 

The entire P.E. class was hanging around doing nothing.  Rae had been late because she had deliberately dawdled.  She hated Physical Education.  She had enough physical exertion with Kester and all the training he made her do. 

“Mr Hanson is a no-show.”  Izzy said, looking at the ends of her hair. 

“Izzy?  Why are you talking to them?”  Stacey asked and Izzy turned away from Rae.

“I’m cool enough to talk to whatever losers I want Stacey.”  She said. 

Rae rolled her eyes and turned to Chloe and Archie.

“I don’t think he’s ever missed a class before.”  Chloe said glumly.  “I know, cos I always wanted him to miss them.” 

“We should just thank him for his good timing.”  Archie said with a shrug. 

“How’d it go last night?”  Chloe asked.

“Last night?  What was last night?”  Archie asked. 

“Just training with Kester.”  Rae said, “He’s going to look through the books for this Finn vamp.”  She added in a low voice.  

“The supposedly good looking one.”  Archie said with a frown.

“He is good looking.”  Chloe said, “objectively speaking, he has a… a certain… symmetry that-”

“Alright Jenna Jameson, how about you put it back in your pants?”  Archie said grumpily. 

“Jenna Jameson?”  Chloe asked, “What?”

“Getting a bit lusty there.”  Archie noted.

“So what if she is?”  Rae asked defensively.  “Although… I mean… not for a vampire though…”  She said shaking her head and Chloe shook her head too.  “But if she wants to get lusty for someone… anyone she wants – what of it Archer?”  Rae asked and Archie shrugged glumly. 

“Just worried about the vampire thing.”  He mumbled.

“Yeah, of course.”  Rae shook her head.

Rae looked across the gymnasium as Archie mumbled a kind of apology to Chloe, who readily accepted it. 

“The window’s broken.”  Rae said, walking into the gymnasium, looking up at the high window.  Chloe and Archie followed, Izzy watched from among her friendship group.  “Something’s happened to Mr Hanson.”  She said, her mind instantly going to Finn.  She turned to Chloe, “Get on the computer and-”

“Check hospital and police records?”  Chloe asked with a grin.

“Yeah and… check into Hanson’s background.”  Rae said slowly.

“Why?”  Archie asked.

“Just something Finn said.”  She looked back at the broken window. 

“So we’re just going on the word of a blood-sucking demon then?”  Archie asked and Chloe hit his arm. 

“Leave it alone.”  She whispered. 

“No, we’re not just going on his word.”  Rae said, turning back to them, “But we are testing his word.” 

 

*

 

Rae returned to the mansion that night, her head spinning with everything she’d learned that day. 

She crept up the stairs, but when she got to the landing, she saw him in the bathroom, not in the room she had seen him in yesterday.

He was putting water on the back of his neck, shirtless, leaning over the sink. 

She watched him wash his face in silence, having to admit that Izzy and Chloe had been right… he was hot.

“How long should I keep the show going?”  He asked without looking up, putting more water on the back of his neck. 

“If you think you’re doing something for my benefit, then-”

He straightened up and turned to her, water dripping down his chest, his eyes on her, hunger…

Rae found herself unable to keep speaking as she took in his body.

“Aren’t I?”  He asked with a cocky grin, “doing something for ya?” 

“No.”  She said hurriedly, averting her eyes. 

“Oh good.”  He said, “I’d hate for this business relationship to be filled with sexual tension.”  He said as he walked up to her.  Rae refused to move and held her head high.  But he smirked and squeezed past her out the door, his eyes never leaving hers. 

Rae looked back into the bathroom for a moment before she followed him to the room. 

He sat down on the lounge and lit a cigarette. 

“So you found something out.”  He said with a smirk.

“Paul Hanson had 3 daughters.”  Rae said as she walked towards him, her arms crossed.

“Yes, he did.”  Finn said, unconcerned. 

“Are they safe?”

“They are now.”  Finn said.

“He was… accused of raping them.”  Rae said, “But they withdrew their complaints after their mother went missing.” 

“After he tortured and killed her in front of them.”  Finn corrected. 

“So you… kill the bad guys?”  Rae said, “That’s your thing?”

“It’s your thing too, isn’t it?”  He said, taking a long drag on his cigarette. 

“They still haven’t found his body.”

“And they never will.”  Finn said firmly. 

“Those girls…”  Rae said softly, “They’re…” The oldest was 12. 

“Safe now.”  Finn repeated.  “Their aunt – their mother’s sister, knew what he was doing, but couldn’t stop him… She’s got them now.”  He told her, “and they’ve each had a bank account set up for them.  They’ll get a million dollars each on their 21st birthdays.” 

“Did you torture him?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Did you eat him?”

“He tasted foul.  Made me sick.”  Finn said, looking down, “I’m still not feeling well.”  He said.

“Because of what you did to him?”

“No.”  Finn said with a smile, “No that felt good.  No, I feel sick because he tasted foul.  I vomited up the blood.  Disgusting.”  He looked away from her, “I’m quite hungry now.” 

“So what will you eat?”  Rae asked, not sure what to make of him.

“There’s plenty of willing donors out there.”  He shrugged. 

“Will you kill them… the donor?”

“Not if they don’t want me to.”  Finn answered. 

“So… why?”  Rae asked, “You’re not one of them vamps with a soul, are you?  I already had to deal with one of them.” 

“Yes I know all about that.”  He said.  “There’s no secrets for a slayer.”  He looked her up and down.  “I do have a soul though.”  He said solemnly.  “I didn’t really need one.  When I was turned… I… felt the demon within me… and I understood it.”  He looked up at her face steadily, “I understood its hunger and evil.  And I knew how to temper it.  So I did.  It was hard.  It would have been a lot easier, and more fun to let myself be taken by it, to let myself disappear under it.  but…”  He shook his head.  “When the fight became too much, I found a way to have my soul restored to me.  And now the demon cannot take me.  But it is still within me.” 

“It’s not a curse…?”

“No my soul wasn’t given back to me to curse me.”  He said, “There’s a demon that can do just about anything - you just have to meet his demands first.  Most vampires who try it die.  I survived.  And I got my soul.” 

Rae paced the room for a moment, she didn’t know what to think of all of this. 

He let her think and smoked his cigarette in silence, watching her. 

“Kester couldn’t find anything on you.”  She said suspiciously.

“It’s because I’ve only been a vampire for 3 years.  And I’ve done nothing of note… nothing that others know about anyway.”  He told her with a wicked grin. 

“Only 3 years?”

“I already knew how to fight before… this…”  He said, motioning to his teeth. 

“So you don’t kill innocents?”

“I do not.”  Finn said, “And I never have.  Nor will I ever.” 

“Right…”  She said thoughtfully.

“If you need time to think, by all means, take it.”  Finn said, “But don’t take too long.”  He said, “My maker and his brother are coming and…”  He sighed, “I’m here to help you.”

“Help me?”

“Tell your watcher to look up Saul and Liam.”  He said.  “Now should I jump out of the skylight, or do you just wanna go?”  He asked.

“No, I’ll just go.”  She said.  “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”  She warned. 

“Well if you keep an eye on me at dusk, you’ll see what’s under the pants when I shower.”  He said and arched an eyebrow suggestively at her. 

“Goodbye Finn.”  Rae said firmly and he gave her a broad grin.

“Goodbye Rae.”  He said as she left.

 

*

 

“I don’t need to look at my books to know the Grim brothers.”  Kester said.

“The Grim brothers?”  Rae asked with an unimpressed look, “You have to be joking.  What kind of a name-?”

“Their real surname is Hickinbottom.” 

“Hickinbottom?”  Rae sniggered, Chloe and Archie joined in with her mirth.

“But they go by the Grim brothers, and with good cause.”  Kester said, “Saul enjoys torturing his victims physically and sexually, and Liam enjoys torturing them emotionally and mentally.” 

“That doesn’t fit in with the nice happy last name they have.”  Chloe said. 

“No.”  Kester agreed, “It’s hard to give an exact age, but we know they’re at least 400 years old because they always leave a trail of carnage in their wake.”  He cleaned his glasses, “And they have sired thousands.” 

“I thought the vamps liked to be more selective than that?”  Archie asked.

“Generally they do.”  Kester said, “But the Grim brothers like to leave chaos and pain wherever they go.”

“Well Finn said they were coming.”  Rae said. 

“Finn?”  Archie said with a frown, “You’re on a first name basis now?”

“We do not want them in Sunnydale.”  Kester said, ignoring Archie. 

“He also said one of them was his maker.”  Rae said and Kester half-shrugged.

“They tend to take an interest in anyone they think is attractive – gender makes no difference to them.”  Kester said, “But what they do to someone they find attractive depends on the mood they’re in on the day.”  He added, “He probably met them in a bar or pub and then woke up in his coffin, through no fault of his own.” 

“Oh…”  Rae felt a pang of sympathy for Finn.

“That would be so horrible.”  Chloe said.

“I guess I never thought about it.”  Rae said softly. 

“By all accounts it’s very disorientating for them.”  Kester said as he sat on the edge of the table, “You said he has a soul – that he chose to get it back?”  Rae nodded in answer to his question, “And that he somehow managed to retain some part of himself after he was re-born?”

“Yeah.” 

“He must have an incredible amount of mental fortitude.  A real sense of self far beyond what… anyone I’ve ever known would have.”  Kester said.  He sounded almost impressed, “I’ve certainly never heard of any other vampire retaining their human self, without their soul.”

“You think he was lying?”  Rae said and Kester sighed.

“Very possibly.”  He answered, “It’s in their nature to deceive.”

“And it’s in the slayer’s nature to kill vampires, right?”  Archie said. 

“If he’s not lying,” Kester continued, ignoring Archie, “Then he’s very impressive.” 

“If Angel taught us anything it’s that unlike Nazis, not all vampires are evil.”  Rae said.  “I’m holding off judgement on Finn.”

“He kidnapped Izzy and Chop!”  Archie said.

“And left them unharmed.”  Rae countered.

“Except for the trauma of being kidnapped by a blood-sucking monster.”  Archie pointed out. 

“Arch.”  Chloe said softly, “Let it go.”  

“We need to focus on Liam and Saul.”  Kester said, “How long do we have until they get here?”

“I don’t know.”  Rae said, “I guess I’m going back to ask Finn.”  She sighed, “Which is exactly what he wants.”

 

*

 

He grinned when he saw her walk past the bathroom, her eyes resolutely forward. 

But it was dusk, so she had to know he’d be showering – he had told her. 

She was sitting on his lounge, her leg crossed over the other, her arms crossed, waiting, unimpressed. 

He wandered in, glistening and wet, a towel slung loosely around his hips – riding low, a sly grin on his face. 

“Why did you kidnap Izzy and Chop?”  She asked.  “Doesn’t seem like something a good guy would do?”

“To get your attention.”  He said with a shrug and stood before her.

“You could have simply sent me a message about the Grim brothers.”  She said, narrowing her eyes.

“Yes.”  He nodded, “But where’s the fun in that?”

“It’s fun traumatising innocent people?” 

“Are they really upset still?” 

But Rae had to admit that Izzy was fine, and Chop – who rarely came to school – also seemed fine.  So she was silent.

“And the fun part was getting to test myself against the slayer.”  He added.  “Are you really here to chastise me about my pleasures?  He asked with a wry grin.  “Especially since you share them…”

“When are they coming?”  She asked, trying not to roll her eyes.  But his grin broadened and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. 

“Do you mind if I get dried and dressed?”  He asked, “Then we can talk.”

“By all means.”  Rae said, unimpressed. 

He turned his back on her and took the towel from his hips, drying his hair.

Rae’s eyes went wide for a moment as she saw his pert, perfect arse.  But she looked away and cleared her throat. 

“You are in my bedroom.”  He said, “Where I typically get dressed.”

Rae looked around – there was no bed anywhere. 

“The lounge.”  He said softly, knowing what she was doing without even needing to look at her. 

She stood and found a catch under the cushions.  The three-seater lounge opened up like a chest to reveal a bed, it looked comfortable, despite being a glorified coffin.  The sun shining in the skylight and windows would not touch him here.  No one would know he was here as he slept.  But now she did know.  She realised how much trust he was showing and closed the lid to his bed and sat back down, this time with her hands in her lap instead of crossing her arms. 

She looked away from his nakedness as he dried himself and found herself looking at the skylight, now fixed. 

“You must really love the sky to have those things.”  Rae said, thinking that the sun that this room must get was incredibly dangerous to him.

“I do.”  He answered, “I can’t tell you how much I miss the sun.”  He paused, “Sunsets, sunrises… a hot day and going to the beach… the sun on a pretty person’s face.”  He lamented.  He took a deep breath and pulled his pants on.  “But it’s not all bad.”  He said bracingly. 

“How did it happen?”  She asked him, “If you don’t mind me asking?” 

He sat down next to her, only wearing pants and lit a cigarette. 

“How did it happen?”  He sighed, “I was at the pub, in England, with some friends.  We were playing poker – just making bets with match sticks.  Friendly game…”  She watched the way he looked at his hands while he spoke.  “They asked to join us… couldn’t see why not, so we let them”

“Liam and Saul?”  She clarified and he nodded. 

“I ah, I always liked everyone you know?”  He said, “To be clear, I’m pansexual… I’d never been with a man before, but I knew I would, should the opportunity arise.”  His eyes became distant as he remembered what was done to him.  “So when Liam started to make some subtle signs that he was interested, I wasn’t uninterested, you know?  He wasn’t my type but there was something about him.”

“Did he enthral you?”  Rae asked.

“Yes.”  Finn said, “Although, apparently I resisted.  I didn’t know I was resisting.  But that’s what made Liam decide to sire me instead of torture me.  He liked my willpower.”  Finn stared off silently for a moment.  “I didn’t… couldn’t resist enough though.  When the game was over, and the pub was closing, Liam made it clear he wanted to come back to my place and I agreed.  I was eager.”  He scoffed bitterly. 

“It’s not your fault.”  Rae said gently, taking his hand.  He looked down at her hand covering his and looked away. 

“He, pulled me into an alleyway and we started making out.  I liked it a lot.   I mean a lot.”  He looked back at Rae, his eyes on hers.  “I wanted him so badly and I was so ready to sleep with my first man… he put his hands down my pants while he was kissing my neck… and then I felt…” He took a deep breath.  Rae was expecting to hear about teeth piercing the skin of his neck.  “Another set of hands on my hips.”

“What?”

“His brother wanted me too.  And they don’t mind sharing.  But I was less excited by that.  I tried to back out… but Saul, held me hard while Liam kept rubbing… you know.”  He looked away again.  “And then I saw Liam’s face and I… I thought I was losing my mind...”

“Oh god.”  Rae said, feeling the horror of what Finn had gone through, seeing a vampire’s true face for the first time. 

“They both bit my neck at the same time.  I felt the pain, I felt my blood draining from me… then it all kinda fades out… it’s hazy and dark.  I don’t really know what happened.”  He cleared his throat and turned back to look at her.

“So you don’t know which one of them is your sire?”

“Nope.”  He gave her a bitter, but accepting expression.  “And then I woke up in my coffin.” 

“And you had to dig your way out.”  Rae whispered.

“No I was in a crematorium.  I woke up as they lowered my coffin into the oven to burn.”

“Oh my god.”

“I had break out of my coffin and the oven.”  He said, “And I was starving and confused.”  He looked down, “There was this mortician down there.  And when I saw him, I instantly attacked.  I was draining him when I heard my mother singing – in the centre above.  I stopped.  I realised I was about to kill this innocent guy.  I called him an ambulance and had to hide out, listening to the ending of my own funeral – cos it was daylight.” 

“That’s rough.”

“My parents are utterly devastated.”  Finn said.  “To say the least.”  But he gave her a sage smile, “But that was 3 years ago, and I have found my own rhythm in this… life…?  Death…?”  He laughed. 

“The brothers caught up with you after you died?”  She asked him and he nodded.

“Yes I ran with them for about a fortnight but…” He shook his head, “I was not interested in the carnage they enjoy.  So once I finally had figured out the basics of being a vampire, I took off.”

“Were they angry at you leaving?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care.”  He said with a cheeky grin.  “They can try and do something about it if they want.  Back then I have to leave because I couldn’t take them both on alone – I was a new vampire, very weak.  But now I can take them both on alone.  So they can try it, if they want.”  Rae enjoyed how ready and willing he was to fight them.  “What was it like for you?”  He asked, “Finding out you were the slayer?”

“Pretty terrible.”  Rae said, “Though I don’t think it compares!”  She said with a slight laugh.  “This uh, crazy old man came up to me with this big ol’ book and told me he had to talk to me about vampires!”

Finn broke out into laughter. 

“Watchers are so smooth.”  He said, shaking his head.

“To be fair, Kester is much better than my first watcher.”  Rae said, “I called him a creep and tried to stay away from him.  I ignored it for a few days until…”  She sighed.

“Vampires attacked you?”

“Vampires attacked me.”  She said nodded slowly, “And he was there to guide me through my first kills.  It was horrifying.  I was 15 and I was being attacked – terrified, fearing for my life.  And all I had was this little wooden stake.”

“And your natural slayer skills.”

“Yes but I didn’t know about those – I didn’t know how to tap into them or how to… do anything really.  When I killed the first one, I was devastated – I’d killed someone.  But then he turned into dust and I thought I was going mad.”  She stared off for a while.  “The next 2 were a little easier – I managed to feel the slayer within me a little… And then I had to go home.  Having killed 3 people… vampires… while my watcher, whatever that was, raved about a prophecy and sacred duties and training regimes…”

“Brutal.”  Finn said.

“I was dirty, I was bleeding… and my parents didn’t even notice.  They were fighting again.  So I went upstairs and changed and showered.  And I cried.  A lot.  My whole life as I knew had ended, you know?”

“Yeah I do.”  He said softly. 

“You’re probably the only one who does know.”  Rae said, their eyes meeting. 

“Who’d’ve known we’d have so much in common.”  He said with a grin. 

“That’s one thing.”  Rae said, rolling her eyes and letting go of his hand.

“And your oasis shirt.”  He said with an arched eyebrow. 

“Where did you get the money from?”  Rae changed the topic.  “That’s 3 million dollars you gave those girls.”

Finn gave her a mysterious smile.

“You really wanna know?”

“Yes.”

“From my victims.”  He answered simply.  “Some of them have been quite wealthy.”

“And you think you’re some kind of Robin Hood.”

“Seems fair.  Rapists, paedophiles, murderers… All their money goes to their victims.” 

“It’s not really my place to judge…”

“But you’re gonna anyway.”  Finn said with a knowing tone, his eyes narrowed. 

“I kill vampires and demons.”  Rae said, “Humans are… not in my sphere.  That’s the law’s job.  And… I have to protect humans.”

“Even those ones?”

“I…”  Rae sighed.  “I’m not saying I want to… I’m saying… it’s above my pay-grade.  Maybe I’m not gonna shed any tears over the likes of Paul Hanson, but I still… gotta stop ya, if I catch wind of you doing that in my town.” 

“Hmmm.  Understood.”  He said with a sly expression.

“Don’t do it anymore.”  She said firmly. 

“I’m not gonna stop.”  He said, “You better hope the humans in Sunnydale are a far better lot than the monsters.” 

“I just told you that if I catch you-”

“You’ll stop me.  I understand.”  He said simply.  “So do we call this an uneasy truce?” 

“I suppose we do.”  Rae said tentatively.  “When are they coming?”  She asked, knowing he would know what she was talking about. 

“About 2 weeks.”  He said, “I came here when I got word that they were coming here to kill you.”  He told her, “I wanted to meet the slayer.”

“Before they killed me?” 

“Yeah.”  He crossed his arms and sighed heavily.  “But I suppose now I’m going to have to help you.”

“Oh right?”  She scoffed, “I don’t need help.”

“Yes you do.”

“And why would you help me against your sire?  Sires…?”

“Because I hate them.”  Finn said, “And I like you.” 

“Oh…” Rae didn’t know how to take that. 

“Didn’t expect to like a slayer.  What with the whole, sacred duty to kill my kind, and all… But here we are.”  He said with a charismatic shrug of the shoulders. 

“Here we are.” 

“So I guess I better meet your watcher then.”  Finn said as he got up and grabbed a t-shirt from the drawers. 

When he turned around, Rae saw it was an Oasis t-shirt. 

 

*

 

Kester sighed when he saw Rae and Finn at his door.

“You’re expecting me to invite him in?”  Kester asked Rae.

“He wants to help with the Grim brothers.”  Rae said and Kester rolled his eyes as he took his glasses off and cleaned them agitatedly. 

“Help how?”  Kester asked, not even looking at Finn.

“I wanna help with the killing thing.”  Finn said, “You know, where you decide vampires are evil and need to die?”  He said, “I’m on board with these guys.” 

“And how do you propose to help?”  Kester asked after a deep sigh.

“Well I can tell you that your slayer isn’t anywhere near ready for them.”  Finn said, folding his arms resolutely. 

“I beat you.”  Rae said.

“But I wasn’t trying to kill you.”  Finn returned, “I was just trying to not be killed by you.”

“Fine,” Rae said, taking her jacket off and raising her fists, “Let’ go.”

“Not on my doorstep!”  Kester said, pulling Rae inside, “Fine, come in.”  He added stiffly to Finn.

“I won’t come to your home unless invited.”  Finn reassured him, but Kester just glared at him. 

“Come on!”  Rae insisted, leading him down to the basement.

Kester had set up his basement as a training room.

There were all sorts of weapons around the walls, training dummies, exercise equipment, and the centre of the room had a large open space for sparring. 

Rae went to the centre of the room immediately and raised her fists.

“Bring it.”  She said, her jaw set, her eyes flashing with determination.

“Alright.”  Finn said and sauntered into the centre of the room. 

Kester watched them fighting – brutally – for about 15 minutes before he decided to go upstairs and make himself a cup of tea. 

85 minutes after that Rae and Finn both collapsed to the floor, panting. 

“You improved when your life was threatened.”  Finn said, “Good.” 

“You still couldn’t beat me.”  She noted smugly.

“True.”  He said, both of them dripping with sweat and still panting, “But imagine 2 of me.” 

Rae was silent for a moment and then she nodded. 

“Good point.”  She wasn’t sure if she could take on 2 fighters as good as Finn. 

“So I think we both need to improve.”  Finn suggested.

“And we have 2 weeks.”  She realised. 

“I’m hungry.”  Finn sighed as he got up.  “Let’s go again.”  He raised his fists and Rae got up and squared up. 

 

*

 

“Ooh, hello sailor.”  Izzy said with an arched eyebrow.

Finn gave Rae an amused look before he sat down at the desk in the library. 

Kester was standing, arms crossed, completely unimpressed. 

Chloe was staring, trying not to let her jaw drop and Archie was holding out a cross at Finn, while Chop stared at him silently. 

“Sorry about the abduction thing.”  Finn said to Chop and Izzy.

“No problem.”  Izzy said leaning across the table towards him.  “You know, I have quite a thing for older men.”  She intimated. 

“I was 18 when I was sired.”  Finn said, “Only a year older than you.” 

“But how long ago was that?”  Chloe asked, her brows furrowed, her arms crossed over her breasts protectively.  She didn’t enjoy that she found this vampire so attractive. 

“Do you count the years you were a vampire as part of your age?”  Chop asked, “Because you don’t technically age do you?”  He continued philosophically, “So you’ll forever be 18.  A dream for many.  A nightmare for some.” 

Finn stared at him in silence for a moment, Chop staring at him silently, calmly. 

“We count them.”  Finn said eventually, “But most of us remember how old we were when it happened.  And some of us don’t count the years they were human as part of their age.” 

“So how old are you?”  Izzy asked, looking very eager to hear him say anything. 

“21.”  He answered and Izzy grinned winningly, invitingly.

“Perfect.”

“So you’re… 3…?”  Chop said, completely straight-faced.  He was completely serious with this question.

Archie sniggered slightly and partly lowered the cross – his arm was getting tired. 

“Yes, I suppose I am.”  Finn answered with a shrug. 

“And you’re going to look this good forever.”  Izzy said, looking him up and down.

“No.”  Finn answered, “If I survive the slayer,” he gave Rae a slight wink, “and other vampire hunters, and my own kind and start to get old… then the vampiric demon within me will begin to misshape my face and body.”

“But I’ll be dead before that happens.”  Izzy noted.

“Presumably.”  Finn said with a wry smile, “Unless you’re immortal, or you become immortal.” 

“As scintillating as this conversation is,” Kester said tightly, “We really do need to move on to the problem of the brothers.” 

“So he’s just part of the gang now is he?”  Archie asked moodily. 

Kester sighed deeply.

“It’s like trying to wrangle a zoo full of monkeys.”  He mumbled to himself. 

 

*

 

Izzy was dancing, drawing appreciative stares.  Chop was performing with his band.

“They’re really good.”  Chloe said, bopping her head, completely out of time to the music. 

“If you like discordant grunge-pop.”  Archie said, also bopping his head to the music.  Even Chloe had to roll her eyes at him sometimes.  “When do you think Rae will get here?”  He asked.

“When she’s finished training with Finn.”  Chloe said.

“They’re getting close huh?”  Archie said. 

“They’ve had to train a lot.”  Chloe explained.  Again. 

“He said 2 weeks.”  Archie said.  “It’s been over 2 weeks now.  Maybe it was all a ploy – some sort of plan to get her to trust him.” 

“For what reason?”

“He’s a vampire Chlo… he’s got all sorts of dark reasons.”

“I don’t think it’s his reasons you’re worried about.”  Chloe said under her breath. 

“I mean where are these Grim brothers?”  Archie complained.

Chloe settled in for a long complaining session.  All she had to do was nod and say an occasional ‘uh-huh’ and her job was done – she didn’t even have to fully listen to him.  She scanned the room while Archie complained and saw 2 men she’d never seen before walking in. 

Neither of them were particularly attractive, but there was something in the way they held themselves that made them intriguing.  Something in the way they scanned the room, the grins on their faces.  Chloe watched them, unable to put her finger on what it was that made them so interesting. 

“Are you even listening?”  Archie said, gently hitting her arm.

“What?”  Chloe said looking back at him. 

“What were you staring at?”  He said, looking over his shoulder.  “Were you staring at those guys?”  He asked, incredulously.  “They’re not even attractive… although that one with the curly hair’s alright…”

They both stared at the men as the one who didn’t have curly hair spotted Izzy and walked over to her. 

“Hi.”  He said.

“Ah no.”  Izzy said, turning away from him. 

“I said hi.”

“You’re too old.”  Izzy said and flashed her eyes at him over her shoulder, meaning to give him a disapproving look.  But when her eyes met his, she felt herself strangely drawn to him. 

She turned to him and put her arms over his shoulders. 

“Your name?”

“Izzy.”  She said softly.

“I’m Saul.”  He said.

“Saul…”  Izzy seemed to have an echo in her mind, something like an alarm bell ringing.  But she couldn’t quite access that part of her mind. 

“Everyone in this place wants you.”  He said, “So I’m going to have you.”  He told her.  “Aren’t I?”

“Yes.”  She said softly. 

Chloe and Archie watched, both with furrowed brows; Izzy normally wouldn’t let a guy like that touch her.  He was nowhere near cute enough.  And here she was, letting him dance with her, putting his hands on her waist, then on her arse. 

And then the guy with the curly hair got up on the stage, putting a hand on the singer’s shoulder when he started to protest.  The singer fell silent and Liam took the microphone. 

“No time for that brother.”  He said and Saul looked up at him, an unimpressed look on his face.  “We’ve got a slayer to attract.”  He snapped the neck of the neck of the singer. 

Chaos. 

People were screaming and running for the exits. 

But the exits were blocked by vampires – dozens of them, following the brothers, doing their bidding. 

“FEAST!”  Liam roared, laughing manically, through the microphone.  His canine teeth had grown long and his forehead had strange lumps on them – it made him look demonic. 

Chop ran from the stage as Liam grabbed a man from the audience and pulled him up onto the stage, ripping into his throat with his teeth, feeding on his blood. 

Chloe grabbed a stunned Archie and pulled him away from the approaching vampires.

“Out the back!”  She yelled over the screams, running towards the bathrooms. 

Izzy squealed loudly, but Saul had a tight grip of her hips.  The spell was broken now, as pandemonium filled the Bronze.  Vampires openly fed right next to them as Saul lifted Izzy off her feet and started waltzing with her.

“The things I’m going to do to you girl.”  He growled sadistically. 

 

*

 

Rae was still wondering if she should have invited Finn to come to the Bronze with her, 15 minutes after they’d parted ways. 

She knew it wouldn’t have been a date or anything like that – the whole gang was going to be there.  But still she’d hesitated.  She hung around for an extra few minutes, just in case he’d wanted to ask if he could come along. 

She felt kind of weird. 

Guilty she supposed – he was kind of part of the gang now.  He should be invited to gang things. 

The past 2 weeks of training had been hard, and more than once he’d made sexually suggestive comments. 

Rae found she didn’t mind nearly as much as she knew she should. 

Besides the training, she’d also discovered that they shared a love of music and trashy films.  Finn had stayed at her house a few nights ago when her mum had been out of town.  They had watched so many trashy movies together, laughing their heads off. 

He’d had to leave just before dawn; the curtains at her place didn’t keep out enough of the sun.  That had been an unwelcome dose of solemnity after their fun night. 

Rae was still thinking about going to his house first, to invite him to come to the Bronze tonight, or maybe ringing him when she got in there, when she heard the screams. 

“The Bronze!”  She realised and ran.

When she got in the Bronze she had to bash open the locked door.  The place looked like a warzone.  There was blood and dead people everywhere, vampires feeding, Izzy had some creepy guy dancing around with her and laughing happily and there was another guy eating the band on the stage. 

Rae felt a deep fear for her friends, but she had to push it aside. 

She grabbed a wooden chair and smashed it, grabbing a broken leg to use as a stake.

The first vampire was too busy feeding to put up a fight, as was the second and third.

The next few tried, but Rae tore right through them. 

She already knew which ones were Liam and Saul. 

Liam had so many bodies around him now… and Saul was delighting in the squeals of terror and revulsion he was getting from Izzy.

Neither of them seemed to even notice she was their – they were both too enthralled with what they were doing. 

“HEY!”  She said when she’d finally killed off the other vampires. 

Neither of them looked up, but Saul did kiss Izzy on the lips.

And then he threw her to the ground, sending her skidding away, crying and wiping her mouth. 

He turned to look at Rae, a grin on his face.

“Slayer.”  He said, “You took a lot longer than we were expecting.”  He looked her up and down, “But I’ve always wanted a piece of a bigger girl.”  He said lustfully.  “I don’t think we should kill her brother.”

“There’s more fun to be had keeping her alive.”  Liam agreed, letting the drummer drop to the floor, barely breathing. 

Rae waited for their attack. 

When it came it was brutal, far faster and more powerful than she had expected. 

And it was 2 on 1. 

The other vampires had been young, inexperienced, a pushover really.  Most young vampires were.  Only a few young ones put up any real resistance.  It was when they got older that they became much harder to kill.  Finn was an anomaly in many ways – Kester was doing a lot of reading about it all, trying to figure him out. 

But tonight, at the Bronze, there were no anomalies. 

The younger vampires died quickly.

The older vampires were far harder to fight.

And they knew how to tag-team an opponent. 

Every move Rae had, they had a better move. 

They kicked Rae’s arse, beating her down, leaving her bloodied and bruised. 

And right when they could have killed her, Saul had kissed her lips and promised her they’d be seeing her around. 

“This is gonna be so much fun!”  Liam cackled as they left the Bronze, leaving Rae behind them in a pool of her own blood. 

 

*

 

Rae’s eyes opened and she shot up in bed.

“Ah…”  She hissed in pain.

“You’re ok.”  Finn said softly and she looked at him, her brows furrowed as she realised she was in hospital.

“I can’t be in here.”  She said, but she laid back, getting her breath back. 

“Well you are in here.”  Finn said in a matter of fact tone. 

“I heal too quickly.”  Rae said, “I can’t be in here.”  She reiterated, “And my mother!”

“It’s ok, Chloe rung her to say you were staying at her place, but your mum expects you to ring later.”  Finn said.  “They’re all out in the waiting room.  Visiting times are over.”

“Why are you allowed in here?”  Rae asked.

“The only contact they could find for you was my phone number scrawled on a piece of paper in your pocket.”  He gave her a wry grin.  “I offered to pay for your medical bills.  So they’ve listed me as your family.  I’m allowed in here as your family.  Friends are not allowed in here this late at night.”  He shrugged, “I told them a fake name for you so they wouldn’t find your mum.” 

“What name?”

“Buffy Summers.”  He said with a wicked grin.

“What kind of name is that?”  Rae said, scrunching up her nose. 

“First name that came to mind.”  He laughed at the look on her face.

“Do I look like a Buffy to you?”  She asked, a little miffed.  But Finn just laughed, “I suppose Buffy’s were the kind of girls you chased after when you were alive?”  She said huffily.

“Not rea-”

“I don’t care.”  Rae snapped, “I need to get out of here.”  She sat up again, “I have some vampires to kill.” 

“It’s late, they’ll be finding a place to spend the day.”  He reassured her.  “It’s only a few hours since their attack.” 

“How many people died.”  Rae said, looking down stoically.  But he could see the pain and misery in her large expressive eyes. 

“I don’t know.”  he lied.

“How many?”  She insisted.

“14.” 

“14…”  She whispered, looking at her hands as if their blood was on them. 

“This isn’t on you.”  Finn said.

“It’s my job to protect people.”  She said firmly. 

“1 girl against all the demonic hordes of this universe.”  Finn said, “Some things are gonna slip though the cracks slayer.”  He said, “The people who made you weren’t thinking too well – they should’ve given you back up.”  He continued, “While you were fighting Saul and Liam, 200 people died in werewolf attacks throughout Europe.  Vampires killed 3 people in Australia and 50 throughout Africa.  Demonic attacks took out another 150 people in Asia… shall I go on?  You can’t be everywhere at once.  You can’t fight everyone.” 

“I know.”  Rae said, “But I barely even fought the vamps I was actually fighting.”  She said angrily, “And you can’t possibly know those figures – you made them up!” 

“You’re right, I can’t know this night’s figures exactly.”  Finn agreed, “But I know the nightly averages.” 

“So it’s just more people that died because…”

“Because the slayer hasn’t gone global yet.”  Finn said, “But I reckon one day, maybe you will.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Get some good, trained fighters on every continent…”  Finn mused. 

“They’re not the slayer, they’d just get themselves killed.”  Rae countered.

“Maybe you can train some vamps up.”  He said with a wry grin.  “I’d volunteer for the slayer army. Except, I wouldn’t want you to send me to another continent.”  He arched an eyebrow.

“Don’t wanna go back to England?”  She asked.

“Nope.”  He said, “I’d rather stay wherever you are.” 

“Enjoying our sparring sessions?”  She asked with a small grin.

“Enjoying you.” 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

“Finn…”

“Anyway,” Finn changed the topic back, “This isn’t your fault – it’s not on you.  It’s on them – Saul and Liam.  The lives these monsters take – it’s never your fault.”  He let her think about that for a moment, “And the best thing to do now, is focus on our next move.” 

“Just gonna leave that hanging, are ya?”  Rae asked.

“What else can I do with it.”  He looked away and shrugged. 

“I-”

“It’s not like you reciprocate, is it?”  He turned his eyes back to her, searching her face.  “It’s not like a slayer ever could with a-” But he got up and cleared his throat.  “Anyway, you’ve got healing to do, and we need to get you outta here.”  He turned back to her.  “Can you get up?”

“Yeah.”  She started to slowly get out of the bed, wincing.

“Let me help ya.”  Finn said, going over to her and helping her stand. 

He stood there for a moment, her hand in his, his hand on her lower back, his eyes lowered.  He looked so concerned for her and Rae stared at his face for a moment, until he looked up at her. 

And she kissed him. 

Quite suddenly. 

He returned the kiss, hungrily.  His hand went to her cheek as her tongue found his, tentatively, testing the waters. 

But she stopped, just as suddenly, and looked down.  Finn was breathless, his hand still on her cheek, his eyes on her face, she was so close to him… so close. 

“Sorry.”  She said and cleared her throat.

“No… I-”

“I don’t have time for this right now.”  Rae said abruptly. 

“Yep.”  Finn tried to focus, but all he could think about was her lips on his. 

“I have to stop those brothers.”

“Now?”  He was surprised.

“Well give me a few hours, but yes, now.” 

“But, shouldn’t we regroup and train more and-”

“Look, I’ve done this before – had some vamp think he could play with me… it dragged on for months.  People died.  Now I could sit here and wait for them to make their next move.”  She said as she grabbed her things, “Or I can take the fight to them.”  She turned to Finn, “I have no intention of waiting around for these bastards.”

“Alright then.”  Finn said with a smile, “Let’s go kill ‘em.” 

 

*

 

Rae needed to rest for much of the night and the next day, but by the night after her stunning defeat to the Grim Brothers in her first meeting with them, she was ready to take them on again. 

While she had rested at night, Finn had hunted down where they were staying.

And while she rested during the day, Finn slept and the gang try to figure out the weaknesses of the brothers.

What they uncovered were hundreds and hundreds of horrific tales of torture, maiming and death.  It was much worse than they had imagined. 

Only Izzy was supportive of Rae going now.  She had been traumatised and had bruises up the side of her face and stitches on her arm after the attack.  She was keen for Rae to kill them now – Saul had promised he would come for her. 

Kester preached caution.

The gang gave her worried looks.  
But nothing would stop Rae - she was determined that these vamps wouldn’t get the chance to kill one more person.  They’d already taken 14 people in Sunnydale. 

At dusk, Rae and Finn set out to find Liam and Saul. 

Finn had found where they were staying, but it was locked down so completely, there was no way they could have gotten in in the daylight. 

Their best bet was to watch the house and wait for them to leave. 

And so they waited, well-hidden across the road. 

“Do you eat?”  Rae asked in a whisper and Finn looked at her, a surprised look on his face. 

“Uh…”

“I mean other than blood.”  She clarified. 

“I can.  I don’t need to.”  He answered. “But, I, uh, can…”  He wondered why she was asking. 

“Does it make you sick or anything?”

“Nope.  And I love garlic bread.”  He said with a grin. 

“So, you enjoy it?”

“Aye.”  He nodded.

“Aye.”  Rae laughed, “You sound so English.”

“Probably cos I am.”  He laughed with her, a whispered, intimate laugh, shared before a battle they might not survive. 

There was a moment of silence as their laughter stopped, their eyes still on the house. 

“If we… if we, ah… survive this…” Rae turned to look at him, “Wanna grab something to eat… together?”  Rae asked and a small, crooked smile came to Finn’s mouth. 

“Aye, uh, yeah!”  He chuckled slightly, “Yeah, I’d- I’d really like that.” 

They shared another quite laugh, awkwardly looking away from each other, keeping the house in their peripheries.  “And we’re both getting out of this alive… well… you know what I mean.”  He said and looked back at the house.

“Yeah.”  Rae said, feeling more confident.  “We got each other’s back.” 

“Aye.”  Finn agreed.  He was about to speak when they saw movement near the house’s door. 

“Here we go.”  Rae said, both of them focussing in on the movement.

They waited for the brothers to get out of the door. 

They were alone. 

“I guess you killed of all their followers.”  Finn said softly and Rae nodded.  “They’ll be looking to get or make some more.” 

“They won’t get a chance.”  Rae said as she stepped forward out of the shadows.

The brothers noticed her immediately. 

“Come back for more?”  Liam laughed.

“I think she wants us to double team her!”  Saul laughed, “Why else would she come alone?”

Rae had a moment of fear, laced with understanding.

He’d betrayed her.  This vampire she had been training with, had come to admire, to like… maybe more than like…

He’d betrayed her. 

She was up against three-

“Not alone.”  Finn said as he stepped out of the shadows.

Rae felt her emotions instantly even out.  The relief she felt was indescribable.  And even though she berated herself for a moment, she also told herself it was reasonable to doubt him… but she knew she wouldn’t doubt him in this way again.  Not now that she knew he was going to face these monsters with her.  Now she knew he had her back for sure, regardless of all other considerations. 

“You have to make an entrance don’t ya?”  Rae said, unable to stop herself from laughing a little. 

“Ah, I’m a drama-king, what can I say?”  Finn joked, but his eyes were hard and serious and focussed on the brothers. 

“Finnley?”  Liam said with a grin.  “Couldn’t keep away…”  His eyes turned cold and deadly. 

“I guess we’ve got unfinished business.”  Finn said, “I didn’t really appreciate what you did to me.” 

“Made you immortal?”  Liam asked, “I can always rectify that if you want?”  He looked Finn up and down, “I’d hate to have an unhappy customer...”

“Well you can play with him, I’m playing with her.”  Saul said, his eyes never leaving Rae. 

“Well I guess I don’t have to ask you which one you’re killing then.”  Rae said to Finn.

“Guess not.”  Finn answered as they stepped towards the brothers in unison. 

The brothers laughed before they simultaneously launched themselves at Rae and Finn. 

The fight was brutal, as expected. 

The brothers were no less violent or capable with their fighting skills or style. 

But Rae was ready – she was prepared for it.  And she was only fighting one of them. 

She blocked his blows better, saw his sneaky attacks coming more often, and landed her own hits a lot. 

And even though he slammed her against a wall that one time, and another time hit her in the head so hard she thought she might pass out… Rae slammed a stake through Saul’s heart after only 10 minutes of fighting.  She watched, with a look of satisfaction on her face as he gave her a look of stunned surprise.  She waved goodbye to him as he turned to ash, his eyes never leaving hers, the look of incredulous surprise only increasing as he died. 

“Justice.”  She said, feeling the weight of those 14 dead people on her shoulders lighten just slightly.  That weight would always be there.  But at least she’d managed to give them this justice. 

She turned to see Finn in a closer fight with Liam – he wasn’t winning quite so easily as Rae had.  She supposed she had the benefit of her natural Slayer abilities – she learned her enemy’s moves much quicker. 

She was about to help when Finn landed a hard punch to Liam’s face, staggering him.  Finn kicked his knee, knocking Liam to his knees.  And then Finn snapped his neck… but he didn’t stop there… he ripped Liam’s head off with a guttural roar of disgust and triumph. 

“I _really_ didn’t appreciate what you did to me.”  He said as Liam’s body disintegrated into dust.  He turned to Rae.  “Take the fight to them.”  He said with a grin, his teeth long, his forehead raised in the bumps that belonged to the curse of vampirism, his eyes alight with battle. 

Rae cleared her throat and looked down when Finn realised that his fangs were out. 

“Guess I’m hungry.”  He said, looking away, willing his fangs to retract, along with the demonic bumps on his forehead. 

“Then I suppose we better go eat something.”  Rae said with the lightest tone she could muster. 

“Pizza?”  Finn said, turning back to her, his face back to his human visage.

“But if you’re hungry…?”  Rae said slowly. 

“There’s a bar on the shady side of town – serves people like me.”  He said, “Can get a nice O positive, just like getting a pint of beer.”  He said with a sad grin. 

“Do they serve pizza?”

“They sure do.”  Finn said.

“Pizza that I’d eat?”  She added.

“Yeah, pizza that we’ll both eat.”  He chuckled slightly.  “So, uh… we’re having that eating date tonight?”  He asked with an arched eyebrow and a hopeful tone.

“Who said anything about a date?”

“Well, the eating together thing…?”

“I eat together with my mum.”  Rae teased. 

“I guess…”  Finn rolled his eyes.  He tried to look like he was happily joking, but inside he was nervous.

“And you promised me we’d dance.”  Rae said and Finn arched his eyebrows. 

“Aye I did.”  He said, “You don’t think we were dancing with all that training?”  Now he was genuinely teasing and happy, his nerves dying down. 

“No I don’t.”  Rae declared, “and I might be the slayer – tough and hardened… but a girl likes to dance sometimes.”  She hinted. 

“At… the Bronze?”  He asked, catching her drift.  But then he remembered what had happened at the Bronze only last night.  “At the Bronze?”  He repeated.

“You’d be surprised how quickly Sunnydale moves on.”  Rae said in an odd mix of chipper and sad.  And he nodded in acceptance.

There was a moment of silence.

“So… dancing at the Bronze then?”  He clarified with a cheeky grin.  “Not in the basement with weapons…”

“Maybe so.”  She said turning away from him and walking towards the shady part of town. 

“On a date?”  He asked, following.

“Perhaps.”  She answered, trying to be nonchalant, but feeling the nerves rising inside of her. 

“But we’re eating pizza tonight…”

“We are.”

“And uh, dancing tomorrow night, then?”  He asked, grabbing hold of her hand softly and turning her to him. 

“Tomorrow night it is.”  She said.

“A date?”  He clarified.

“I dunno Finn, do people dance on dates?”

“Quite often.  Not always though.”

“So could be a date, but it might not be…”  She gave him a teasing look and turned away to keep walking.

“It’s a date.”  He said firmly and she just laughed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you didn’t pick it, it goes like this:

Kester – Giles

Rae – Buffy

Finn – new vamp character (or you can think of him as Angel or Spike if you want – but I just made him new)

Chloe – Willow

Archie – Xander

Izzy – Cordelia

Chop - Oz

Liam – new vamp character

Saul – new vamp character

 

Obviously the dating situation is all out of line but meh

 

It probably would have suited it to have Chloe as Cordelia and Izzy as Willow, and Archie as Oz and Chop as Xander, but I kinda wanted to keep Rae’s 2 closest friends in MMFD (Chloe and Archie) as her 2 closest friends in BTVS


	29. Day 29 - A crossover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crossover with Star Trek (I took some pretty heft liberties with the Star Trek canon though)
> 
> I thought about writing Rae as Q and Finn as captain as well as this one – but there’s no time for that!
> 
> This ends at a strange place, so I might write more of this later – it ended up being longer and more involved than I intended and I just didn’t have time to finish it as I wanted due to the 31 day challenge thing. 
> 
> I’m not sure how happy I am with this. Ugh.

 

Captain Rae Earl ran her finger along her desk in her ready-room.

The USS Mandela, was named after a great hero of Earth’s history: Nelson Mandela.  Captain Earl had read much about Nelson Mandela and was honoured to be captaining the first galaxy class starship to bear his name. 

Yesterday she had done a spacewalk so that she could touch the outer hull with her hands.  She had done this with the previous 2 ships she had commanded as well.  They were used to this peculiarity of hers now. 

The USS Mandela would have a full complement of 1,030 crew people, 277 of whom, would be officers.  Their families would also be on board.  Most of the officers would be assigned by Star Fleet, but she had chosen the most prominent officers herself.  This was normal for a captain – they had to trust their senior staff to work well as a team. 

She personally knew many of the senior staff, and was close friends with 2 of them. 

Dr Chloe Gemmell, chief medical officer, Human.  They’d gone through some of the academy together; Dr Gemmell’s medical training had taken her along a different path, but they’d stayed in contact.  20 years ago, they’d been assigned to the same ship, and they’ been finding ways to remain on the same ship ever since.  Her husband, Chief of security, Rhys O’Daire, and their 3 children, would also be on board. 

That’s what Rae liked about these galaxy class ships – they were a family ship.  They were all about peaceful exploration.  The Academy had once been so militaristic.  And even though the discipline remained, the focus had shifted.  Peace was most important, exploration ruled their thoughts.  Although, the Federation was more than capable of protecting itself. 

Lieutenant Rhys O’Daire, chief of security and tactical, was quite an enigma.  His mother was half Klingon, half Vulcan – an unlikely combination.  She was an unnervingly calm Klingon looking woman with the pointed ears of the Vulcans.  His father was half Human, half Betazoid – a far more common mix.  And Rhys was a wonderful mix of all 4 species.  His Klingon forehead ridge was smaller than most Klingons, but it was clear he had Klingon blood.  And Vulcan blood from the pointed ears.  The Betazoid made itself known in his black eyes.  And his easy smile was an endearing and very Human quality he had.  Captain Earl had known Rhys since the earliest days of her schooling – longer than she had known his wife, Dr Gemmell.  They got on so well because of the Betazoid blood.  And his tactical skills were so remarkable that there was a move named after him, taught at the Academy.  She was glad to have him on board.

Lieutenant Neesum Izzy, a joined Trill, was her chief science officer.  Her scientific reasoning and research had forwarded their understanding of the universe immensely.  Not to mention that as a joined Trill, she had the memories and knowledge of all the previous hosts of her symbiont.  Izzy was incredibly knowledgeable and adaptable.  Rae had known Izzy’s last host too.  She’d been an elderly woman when Rae had known her, named Lurz Izzy, who was a remarkable linguistics expert.  Izzy was the name of the symbiont, Neesum, and Lurz, were names of the hosts, willingly joined with the symbiont. 

These were Captain Earl’s 3 closest friends. 

Captain Rae picked a few personnel files to look over some of the new officers she was going to meet tomorrow.  

Lieutenant Kaja ‘Chop’ Chahic was going to be her chief of engineering.  He was Bajoran, and his admittance to Star Fleet had been controversial.  Bajor was an occupied planet, not a member of the Federation.  And many of the people of Bajor had become dissidents.  They were called terrorists by the occupying Cardassian force.  He had had a few code of conduct violations; mostly for inappropriate language and not controlling his temper.  He’d also had a bit of trouble with unapproved experimentation on the warp core technology- - he didn’t always follow regulations, especially during crisis moments.  But he was immensely loyal and obeyed orders perfectly.  He was also something of a genius according to everyone that worked with him.  Indeed, captains he had worked with in the past seemed reluctant and sorry to write him up when he broke the rules; he was well-liked and good at his job.  He knew how to coax the most out of the engines, and how to get her fixed quickly when it was needed – especially important in an emergency.  And for all the trouble he’d gotten himself into, he had pages and pages of medals and awards listed, for everything from honourable conduct, to valour, to heroism and gallantry.  He was the most decorated engineer in Star Fleet.  He loved his work and he always loved his crew-mates.  There had been 5 captains wanting to have him on their ship when his previous ship had been de-commissioned.  Rae felt lucky that he’d chosen the USS Mandela.

Lieutenant Archibald Fraser, was her lead pilot and navigator, another Human.  It was said he could navigate his way out of a black hole he was that good at it.  He also had extensive knowledge of the culture and histories of almost every species, not only in the federation, but also across the galaxy.  It was a hobby of his, that had proven to be very useful.  On his last ship, his understanding of Tryulrt mating rituals had saved his captain’s life, stopped a diplomatic embarrassment and kept the peace talks on track.  The Tryulrt were a not a new species that they had just encountered, but they were reclusive and were notoriously sensitive to any perceived slights – Lieutenant Fraser had been given an award for diplomacy afterwards and trade with the Tryulrt had finally begun.  And while Captain Earl was no slouch in regards to cultures, histories and languages of the galaxy, she knew that an officer like Lieutenant Fraser would be most useful. 

Liator, was an Edo man who had taken the name of Tom because the name had so amused him.  He was the first Edo to leave his home planet.  Several years ago Captain Picard and the crew of the USS Enterprise had met with the Edo and had a very interesting encounter.  They were considered some of the most beautiful people in the known galaxy and also some of the most varied – they had more skin tones than any other known race.  But their culture was a simple one, based on hedonistic pleasure and kindness towards all.  It had surprised everyone when Liator had asked to leave his planet – he wanted to spread the kindness to the Federation, who had become friends with their planet with the hard-won approval of the Edo god.  The Edo home world was a paradise filled with pleasure.  Now he was the shop’s counsellor – a fitting role for someone filled with such kindness and compassion.  This would be his first assignment, but Rae was sure he was the right fit. 

And that left her with her first officer’s personnel file in her had. 

Commander Finn Nelson.  Half Human, half Vulcan, but unlike most half-Vulcans, he had not been raised on Vulcan, but on Earth.  Pages of commendations, awards, medals, a recent promotion.  His quick thinking had saved his entire ship during a sneak Romulan attack, during his last assignment.  Every one of his crew-mates was alive because of him.  His performance at the Academy had been exemplary, and his career had been distinguished – he was the youngest Commander on record – he was a god 10 years younger than her.  Intelligent, highly skilled, with a penchant for bending the rules – but not enough to ever get a citation.  Just a few notes here and there that he allowed his captain to go on away missions too often.  That was something that appealed to Rae.  She liked away missions – she missed them, being in command.  Her previous second in command had been a stickler for the rules.  And while she’d miss Danny – he was ready for command.  He was a captain now, and he’d taken Lieutenant Tix with him to be his second in command.  She’d miss them both, but they’d keep in contact. 

She looked out the window to the in-orbit dock and all the engineers checking over this brand new ship.  Captain Earl thought back to her first posting on a starship under Captain Kester Gill.  He was an Admiral now.  She’d been a determined and wide-eyed girl when she’d met him as an ensign, working on ops.  He’d taught her so much.  He’d helped her learn to reign in her powerful emotions and psychic talents.  Being half Betazoid and half Human had its challenges.  She could easily feel other’s emotions, and almost hear their thoughts – full-blooded Betazoids could do that with ease.  She could feel a person’s motives, their hidden things that she probably wasn’t supposed to know.  But she could only hear the thoughts, the words in their heads, of other Betazoids, or those she had taught how to think their conversation with her, rather than have to speak it. 

She was one of the youngest captains ever in Star Fleet history.  She was also one of only a handful of Betazoids that went into command, rather than diplomacy, educating, medicine or psychology. 

The day after tomorrow they would begin a 5 year assignment exploring a sector of the galaxy not yet explored.  They would not be returning to Earth during that 5 years. 

The officers and crew brought their family and pets with them on board.  The ship had gyms and leisure centres and holodecks to help entertain people between their shifts.  There was schools and playgrounds for kids.  And the gardens – both beautiful and useful, growing flowers, herbs, vegetables and fruit. 

This was a state of the art, cutting edge technology, brand new, galaxy class starship.

“And she’s mine.”  Captain Earl whispered, a small smile coming to her face. 

 

*

 

The next day everyone started to move onboard, finding their quarters, and reporting to their superior officers to get their duty rosters.

Rae was studying star maps in her ready-room when Commander Finn Nelson reported for duty. 

“Welcome aboard.”  Captain Rae said, motioning for him to take a seat.

“Thank you, Sir.”  Nelson answered and instantly knew he’d made a mistake by her tight smile. 

“I never did like that the masculine pronoun was chosen for the general honorific for Star Fleet.”  She said, running her tongue along her teeth, her mouth pulled tight.

“I apologise Ma’am.”  Nelson said, wondering how thorny his new captain was going to be. 

“I think we’re going to go with ‘Captain.’”  She said with a tight smile. 

“Captain it is.”  Nelson said, “I prefer Captain too.” 

“You already planning to be a captain?”  She asked with an amused tone.

“I meant that I’d prefer to call you Captain.”  Nelson clarified and watched her smile broaden.  She’d known that. 

She was testing his responses. 

“Tomorrow I’d like you to take us out of dock manually.”  Captain Earl said, tipping her head to the side slightly, her face completely unreadable.  Nelson felt his heart lurch.

“Manually, Captain?”

“You know how to pilot – you are qualified.”  She said, looking down at his personnel file.  “Apparently you’re very good.”  She looked back up at him, “I’d like to see that with my own eyes.” 

“Yes Captain.”  Nelson said.  So his new Captain was very thorny.  He could handle that – he liked a challenge. 

“Good.”  She closed his personnel file, “Let’s make it 0500 hours for the senior staff meeting.”  She said.  “And 0600 for undocking.” 

“Yes Captain.”

“Enjoy your first day on the Mandela.”  Captain Earl said and stood up, offering her hand for him to shake it.  Nelson shook her hand and gave her a dazzling smile. 

“I’ll enjoy it once I’ve finished moving in my things.”  Nelson answered. 

“Do take a look at the observation deck.”  Captain Earl said, “Beautiful views.” 

“I’ll make sure I take a look.”  Nelson answered, “I’m interested in the observation lounge as well.”  He said with a crooked smile. 

“We’re calling it Ten Forward.”  Captain Earl said.  “Most of the Galaxy class starships are calling it that.” 

“Will we see you in Ten Forward, Captain?” 

“Perhaps.”  Captain Earl answered.  “I must say you’re not what I expected from a half Vulcan.”

“And if I might be so bold, Captain, you’re not like any Betazoid, half or otherwise, that I’ve ever met.”  He answered.

“Yes, we’re supposed to be more emotional.”

“And we’re meant to be less emotional.”  Nelson noted, “were you raised on Earth as well?”

“Partly.”  Captain Earl answered.

“Can you read my thoughts?”

“No.  It doesn’t work like that for me.”

“Good.”  A small smile came to his lips.  “But you can sense what I’m feeling?”

“I could, but I choose not to most of the time.”

“I bet it’s a helpful tool when you choose to use it.” 

“I bet your cool logic is a useful took when you choose to use it.” 

“Can be.”  He said with an amused smile.

“Okay.”  Captain Earl took a deep breath.  “Dismissed.”  She said and Nelson stood, gave her a nod and left her ready-room. 

Captain Earl looked at the next personnel file – she was meeting all of her senior officers today. 

 

*

 

Dr Chloe Gemmell looked around her quarters.

“They’re nice.”  Rhys said, holding a box.

“They’d want to be nice – we’re here for the next 5 years.”  She said as she walked to the window.  She could see engineers on the docks.  Soon all she’d see out this window would be stars. 

“Maybe more.”  Rhys said.

“It’s possible.”  Chloe said.  “If we both like it we can ask to be assigned here for the next 5 years after that.” 

“Well I already like it better than the Yumato.”

“That was a small ship.”  Chloe agreed. 

“Small quarters.”  Rhys said.  “These are good.”  He put the box down and looked at the configuration of the rooms they shared.  Bedroom, seating room with lounge suite and dining table, spare room and bathroom.  There was no kitchen – they had a food replicator near the dining table.  There were a few spots for paintings on the walls, and they could get some UV lights if they wanted to keep plants. 

“Big enough to get a Targ.”  He said with a grin.

“We are not getting a Targ!”  Chloe shook her head.

A Targ was a boar like creature with spines on their backs – very important in Klingon culture. 

Rhys chuckled happily; he wasn’t that invested in getting a Targ, but the Klingon part of him stirred at the thought. 

“You’re anxious.”  He knew – the Betazoid part of him could feel her emotion. 

Chloe sighed and nodded. 

“It’s a big ship.”  She said, “And this was a big promotion.”  She turned and looked at their quarters, “I’ll be responsible for over a thousand people’s health.”

“There’s a reason they gave you the promotion.”

“Because I go everywhere with Rae.”

“Because you deserve it.”  Rhys corrected, “They could have made you second in charge of medical and still put you on the same ship with Rae.  But they didn’t.  They made you chief medical officer.” 

Chloe had been second in command at her last posting.  But the doctor she had been working with was near the end of his career, and it really felt like he was training her to take his place – he often left her in charge for weeks at a time.  He was always there if she needed him.  She had felt, at the time, that he only did it because she was ready.  He never let anything dangerous happen – he was always ready and in control when needed.  It just so happened that Chloe was so good at her job that he got to sleep in a lot, and actually take vacations.  Which, on a ship like this, meant booking the holodeck a lot. 

“You’re probably right.”  She said and he gave her a small smile.

“I’m always right.  It’s the Vulcan in me.” 

“Insufferable know it all.”  She teased and gave him a kiss. 

 

*

 

Liator, Tom, cooed gently at his birds.  A pair of lovebirds.  He’d seen them on Earth and fallen in love with them.  Usually the birds were allowed to fly around his quarters when he was off duty.  But their cage was large and comfortable for when they had to be in it.  He had 2 large boxes of things – things he’d found on Earth and been taken with. 

He took a deep breath and looked around his quarters.  He had been surprised when the Captain of the USS Mandela had accepted his request to be assigned to this ship.  He was relatively inexperienced and he hadn’t truly expected to get such a prestigious posting so soon. 

He looked out the window at the people moving around the dock – crew members and their families moving in, engineers doing final checks… As the ship’s psychologist he would be responsible for the mental health of every person on this ship.  He would attend many of the senior staff meetings… he would advise the commanding officers.  He took another deep breath.

The Federation, the Academy, Star Fleet – they all believed that the Edo’s God was in fact a race of super advanced aliens.  He knew that they had talked to his God – and that was miraculous.  He didn’t know if they were advanced aliens or Gods – it didn’t matter.  What he knew was that they protected the Edo, and he had asked their permission to leave his home world to help others, and they had not objected.  And he continued to pray to them now.  His faith was unshaken, he just accepted their reality as different to his own.  Something Edo people did very easily. 

He looked at his standard issue furniture and thought about painting it a different colour as he started to unpack. 

 

*

 

Kaja, who preferred to be called Chop, was carefully, very carefully, taking his pet Barrowbugs out of their temporary housing, to put them in their permanent home in his quarters.  He’d always kept Barrowbugs – ever since he’d left Bajor for the Academy – they reminded him of home.  To most of his Human colleagues they looked like large cockroaches – the size of a man’s fist.  But shinier, prettier.  And also deadlier – They would spit an acidic venom if they felt threatened.  It was important to keep them from the egg and handle them often if you were keeping them as pets and you didn’t want to die. 

“Beautiful girls!”  He grinned at his bugs.  He had 1 male and 10 females.  The male was already burrowing through the soil at the bottom of the cage.  “Beautiful boy.”  Chop cooed. 

When he was done, he went to his boxes, near the door to his quarters. 

The lid of one of his boxes had fallen off and the door had remained open because it had fallen in the doorway.  Chop was about to bend over and pick it up when a Trill woman with long, flowing ginger hair, walked past him, boxes in her arms, her eyes following the display computers on the walls – they were telling her where to go.  She stopped outside of Chop’s room and turned to have her back to him.  Her quarters were across the hallway from him. 

Chop had never met a Trill before.  He’d heard about them, of course, but never met one.  He’d had no idea they were so beautiful. 

 

*

 

Neesum Izzy opened the door to her quarters and instantly grinned. 

“Well these are better than the last ones.”  She said to herself as she stepped in.  When she turned she saw a good looking Bajoran man standing in his doorway.  “Hi.”  She said and then saw the Barrowbugs behind him.  “Oh, I love Barrowbugs.”  She exclaimed.

“Oh yeah?”  Chop said, his grin broadening. 

“Yes, one of my symbiont’s hosts, Volaar, was an entomologist.”  She said, “Which makes me wonder if I love bugs, or if he did.”  She furrowed her brows.  “I’m still new to all of this.  Still getting used to it.”  She explained. 

“So… you only just got joined?”  He asked and she nodded.

“About 3 months ago.”  She said, “I was already a lieutenant with Star Fleet when I decided to apply to be joined.”  She further explained happily, “I got special leave when I was accepted into the program.” 

“Yeah they’re really good with cultural acceptance.”  He said. 

“That must be very important to you.”  Izzy said, “A Bajoran so far away from home… I’m sorry, I didn’t know they let Bajorans into the Academy?”

“Not often.”  He told her, “There’s only a handful of us.”

“It must be very hard for you.” 

“I wonder if I should be at home with the resistance movement.”  He admitted, “But I think getting the Federation to put pressure on the Cardassians is the best way to free my people.” 

“You know the Federation has a policy of non-interference?”

“Unless the planet in question is a member or under the protection, of the Federation.”  Chop said, “Get enough Bajorans in their ranks and we’ll end up under their protection.” 

“A good plan.”

“A peaceful plan.”  Chop said, “I want the least amount of people to die as possible.  It’s what I like about the Federation – they’re all about peaceful solutions and exploration.” 

“That’s why the Trill joined too.”  Izzy nodded.  “Anyway, I better let you get back to your Barrowbugs,” she said, “This is a very trying time for them – if you want their domesticated behaviour to continue, the next 48 hours is vital.”

“Yeah I know.”  Chop nodded, “I’ll see you around.”

“See you around.”  Izzy said and turned back to her quarters. 

She had a bedroom, bathroom and a sitting room with a standard issue lounge suite and dining table.  She could change them at will – the replicators would see to it.  But it’d be best if she put in an order for new furniture to be replicated before they left dock.  Everything was standard issue.  If she was in a partnership, she’d get an extra bedroom.  If she had children or were in a polyamorous relationship, she’d get more bedrooms – a bedroom per person.  For every 2 people, an extra bathroom.  But always the one central sitting room.  It was large and had a computer desk that she quite liked, as well as plenty of room for her hobbies. 

That was one of the problems with being a joined Trill – she had the hobbies, passions and careers of 6 other hosts to contend with.  She was still herself, but she was herself with added things.  She had known what it would be like – they had prepared her.  But it definitely took some getting used to. 

She’d never painted before the joining, but she was often filled with the urge to paint now – one of the symbiont’s past hosts, Kadal, had been an artist.  She didn’t mind that, but Volaar’s love and obsession with bugs had gotten her into some… interesting situations. 

But then again, they’d also given her a talking point with that attractive Bajoran… She arched an eyebrow. 

“Bugs aren’t all bad…”  She grinned. 

 

*

 

Archie fastidiously put the books on his wooden bookshelf. 

He was glad that he wasn’t the only crew member bringing his own furniture on board. 

His parents had helped him move.  They were some of the ‘old-fashioned’ ones – luddites. 

They lived on a farm, growing their own fruit and vegetables – even keeping animals.  They were beloved animals that lived long lives before being killed for food.  Most people ate synthetic meat now.  Animals were no longer enslaved for human food needs.  But there were a handful of farms like these; some people went to them as tourists.  His father was a historian, his mother an expert in farming and animals – a rare field.  His father was also into amateur carpentry – he’d hand made all of Archie’s furniture, from wood they had grown themselves. 

Despite all of that – they had been so proud of their son when he had been accepted into the Academy.  When he was a boy and he had shown an interest in aeroplanes, and then starships, they hadn’t tried to turn his interests elsewhere, they had nurtured their child and let his interest be whatever they were. 

When Archie had gotten his qualifications as a starship pilot, they had celebrated whole-heartedly. 

They were proud of him.  And yes, they missed him when he was on assignment, but they called each other often, and they supported him. 

Archie gave a small smile as he looked at the first-edition book about the history of piloting on Earth that his parents had gotten him. 

He carefully, lovingly put it on his bookshelf and then turned to look at the multitude of boxes and furniture in his room.  It would take him days to unpack and he had a staff meeting tomorrow before beginning his duties. 

He didn’t mind.  He liked being busy, loved Star Fleet, and was completely in love with being a pilot. 

 

*

 

Commander Finn Nelson looked down the hallway towards where he knew the Captain’s quarters were.  She was his neighbour now. 

He opened the door and looked around the large quarters. 

He only had 1 box of personal things.  He liked to travel light and he didn’t form attachments to inanimate objects. 

“Computer, show files for Captain Rae Earl.”  He said as he put his box on his computer table.  Standard issue would do just find for him.  The computer showed a record of her illustrious career and he settled in to study them without bothering to unpack.  It was good for a Commander to know their Captain well – it was his job to back her in all circumstances, to act in concert with her, to support her in her command of this starship – of her starship.  In some ways, being the Captain and Commander was like being in a relationship and the crew were your brilliant, gifted children. 

Finn liked to be excellent at his job and role as second in command.  He wasn’t even sure he’d ever go for Captain.  Apparently, that was a Vulcan trait – they weren’t interested in climbing the ladder.  They just liked to be very, very good at what they did.  He didn’t mind doing the work behind the scenes – no Vulcan did.  Usually. 

“My you have had a distinguished career.”  He mused as he read through her file. 

He was going to enjoy this assignment. 

 

*

 

Rae gave her cat a gentle stroke and eased down onto the sofa with a glass of synthehol wine – a sticky white – her favourite.  She was reading an old Earth classic ‘My Mad Fat Diary’ – she had read this book before, but she never failed to be moved by it. 

While fatness had been proven to be genetic, the Eugenics Wars had seen fatness and a lot of other genetic things all but bred out of the Human population.  Luckily, many of these genetic things that had been seen as aberrations during the Eugenics Wars, were now making a welcome come back in the population.  But it meant that fatness was very rare nowadays – and Rae, being fat, had often felt that rareness in her bones – felt it negatively.  This book had helped her feel better about it all – before the Eugenics Wars there had been a lot of fat people.  Unfortunately, medicine and society had not been as enlightened as it was now, and fat people had suffered a lot.  This book was like an intimate glimpse into the history of a long-gone Earth – Earth was no longer like that.  In the year 2375, Earth was very different to the Earth of this story. 

A lot of these books and old music had nearly been lost during the third world war.  Things had gotten pretty grim then… and the years that had followed had been horrific.  But that was centuries ago now.  They didn’t even have capitalism now.  And as Rae read about a girl named Rae Earl – the same name she had, struggling with so many things, she was glad that those struggles were not the kind of struggles that were seen in this day and age.  This girl that bore her name had been poor, mentally ill, and despised her own body.  Captain Rae Earl had noticed her physical differences, but had never hated her body.  Nor had others treated her badly for them. 

She put her feet up on her table and sipped her wine slowly. 

“Computer, lower the lights 50%.”  She said and the lights instantly dropped. 

Her plan was to read for an hour, have a sonic shower and head to bed. 

She had a big day tomorrow.

The ceremony to give her official command of the ship had been done today.  She was in command of this marvellous star ship.

But tomorrow, they started their mission.

To seek out new life and new civilisations.  To boldly go where no one had gone before. 

She closed her eyes for a moment and opened up her mind.  She could feel the restless excitement all over the ship.  She grinned – everyone felt as she did.  And she could barely wait. 

It would never matter how many times she got to command a ship on an assignment – each time she started a new mission, it was exciting. 

She revelled in the feelings of her crew and their families for a moment before closing off her mind to it.  She respected their privacy and would not search them in that way too often.  

She turned her eyes back to her book and continued reading.  This was probably the last calm moment she’d have in the next 5 years.  She intended to enjoy it. 

 

*

 

“Welcome everybody.”  Captain Earl said as she sat down and then looked at her senior officers.  “First introductions, then I’m going to make sure you know what your duties are, and what my expectations are, then I’m going to listen to what your expectations are.”  Rae told them, “And then we’re going to officially begin our mission.”  She said, a smile coming to her face.  “Any comments?”  She asked and no one spoke.  “Okay, I’m Captain Rae Earl, you will refer to me as Captain, not Sir, nor Ma’am.”  She thought of the conversation she’d had with Finn yesterday.  “And although I am half Betazoid, I will not be reading your minds or anything of the sort – I am not capable of that.”  She reassured them, “Now for your duties and my expectations; they’re all mostly, fairly standard – with a few small exceptions.”  Rae continued, turning to her second in command.  “Commander Finn Nelson is my number one.”  She told them.  ‘Number one’ was the usual term used for the second in command on a starship.  “You will take his orders when I am not present to give them.”  Rae told them, “He’ll be in charge of preparing senior officers’ duty rosters, and you will be in charge of preparing the duty rosters of your departments.  You’ll also need to go to him for managing the ship’s resources, including resource and systems allocation, crew transfers, problems with crew’s quarters et cetera.”  Finn arched an eyebrow – that last one was not usually a duty of the second in command.  But he said nothing.  “He’ll lead most of the away teams.  And with Our CMO,” Chief Medical Officer, “And counsellor, he’ll be doing the crew evaluations.”  Rae considered how many crew members they had.  “We’ll set the first evaluation to be completed in 6 months.”  She said, “Will that work for you?”  She asked Nelson, he gave a nod and she gave him a pleased smile.  It was a big ask – a demanding deadline.  But Finn knew he could get it done. 

“With all due respect Captain, running over a thousand full medicals in 6 months is a lot to ask.”  Dr Gemmell said.  “That’s 172 full medicals a month.”  She continued, “about 6 a day.”  She arched an unimpressed eyebrow, “and a full medical examination takes over an hour.  I have a lot of duties to attend to, adding this demand to it-” 

“I’m sure we can manage it.”  Commander Finn said, “You have a full complement of medical staff?”  He asked and Chloe stopped for a moment and then nodded.

“Yes, but normally I am responsible for all-”

“Good chance to test the medical bay and its staff’s full capabilities.”  Rae said, “But I want you to prioritise officers, and those in higher stress positions first.” 

“Yes of course.”  Chloe said with a tight smile.

“And what about you… Tom…?” Rae used the name he had chosen for himself, “Will it be too big of a task for you?”

“No Captain.”  Tom answered, “I can make assessments of people when they’re in a group.”

“Have you made an assessment of all of us?”  Chop asked, his d'ja pagh swaying gently as he moved his head.  The d'ja pagh was an earring that all Bajorans wore on their right ears as a sign of their faith.  They were individualised for each person and bore the symbol of their families as well.  They were beautiful and sacred to the Bajorans. 

“I have.”  Tom said with a small smile.  He was breathtakingly beautiful – as all Edo were.  Even heterosexual men found Tom attractive. 

“And what have you discovered?”  Finn asked, hiding his amused smile. 

“You all think Captain Rae is a stickler for rules.”  He said, “And she is – she feels the need to be stern because of preconceived notions of Betazoids and their emotionality.”  He said and Rae drummed her fingers on the table, “But she allows us to take none standard names.  This at a Captain’s discretion, and most do not allow it.  And she allows Chop to wear the d'ja pagh, despite the fact that it’s not part of his uniform, and technically not allowed.”  He said, “I’ve noted that Dr Gemmell and Captain Rae are excellent friends that go back years and they are both very good at keeping their personal and professional lives separate.  Captain Rae is also close friends with Rhys and Izzy.”  Personal things like this were not kept in the personnel files – Tom hadn’t read this information anywhere, “Rhys, our chief of security is the most mentally stable person on the room, Commander Finn is deeply intrigued by his captain, Neesum Izzy is nervous about her role here, and deeply attracted to Kaja Chop and he returns that attraction,” Izzy and Chop both blushed and looked away, “and Archie here is homosexual.”  He said and then looked around at them all.  Archie’s eyes opened wide as soon as Tom had said the word ‘homosexual’ and now he sat at the table, simply staring at everyone, not sure how to take what had just happened.  “And that’s just scratching the surface of what I’ve seen during this meeting.  But it would take too long to go into details.”  He finished. 

“Are you sure you’re not Betazoid?”  Rhys asked with a winning smile. 

“No, just good at my job.”  Tom answered.  “And also, Edo have a natural ability to read people.”  He added with an apologetic shrug. 

“I think you’ll do just fine at getting those crew evaluations done in 6 months.”  Captain Rae said with an approving smile; she’d made the right choice with this man. 

“Thank you, Captain.”  Tom said.

“I think you know your duties and my expectations.”  Rae said, her approving smile still on her face.

“Indeed Captain.”  Tom nodded. 

“However, I know that the Edo are very open about such things, but in Star Fleet, a person’s sexuality and the attraction they have for other people, are things we do not talk about without the permission of the people involved.”  Rae said gently.

“I understand.”  Tom said apologetically, “You can rest assured I will maintain appropriate discretion in future, I was only this open to display my skills to Kaja Chop, as asked.”

“It’s just Chop.”  Chop said. 

“Continuing on.”  Rae said, realising that this group of people could easily end up talking for hours and she’d have to run strict meetings.  “Dr Chloe Gemmell, the ship’s CMO, is in charge of the infirmary, the personnel, supplies and activities.  You’ll be responsible for keeping us all healthy.  You’re also expected to do research into diseases that currently do not have a cure – all CMO’s are expected to be looking for cures to disease, but I want more from you - I want better treatments and cures across the board.”  Chloe nodded as Rae continued, “I will expect all of you to fully support her in her role by properly scheduling your crew to have regular check-ups.  And I wish to remind you all that both Dr Gemmell and Counsellor Tom, can relieve anyone from duty, should their health be suffering.  They can likewise order you to do activities that will benefit your health.” 

Chop scrunched up his face – he clearly didn’t like that. 

“For example, you may need more sleep, in order to do your job well.”  Chloe clarified and he nodded slowly, understanding what was meant. 

“Lieutenant Rhys O’Daire is our Chief Security and Tactical Officer, and you must all answer to him regarding security protocol – you will do as he says regarding security.  I expect you to run regular safety drills and alerts.”  She said and Rhys nodded.

“Of course, Captain.”  Rhys answered. 

“As Tom pointed out, I want us to respect each other’s preferred names.  Kaja here prefers to be called Chop, and we will call him that.  Also, your religious adornments are acceptable as long as they don’t interfere with your duties or endanger you, the ship or the crew in any way.”  Chop gave a nod in acknowledgement, “Chop is our Chief engineering officer.  He’s in charge of the overall performance of our ship, as well as the management of his own engineering crew.  When it comes to the engineering side of things, we all take his orders!”  Rae said with an amused look.  “And Izzy here is our science officer.  And I’ve decided you’ll be running the ops station.  You’ll be responsible for making sense of everything we find out there.  I’m also making you my third in command.  Number 2.”  She said and Izzy tried not to beam to brightly.  She gave a nod.

“Thank you, Captain.”  Izzy said.

“I’ll expect comprehensive reports about everything we discover.”  Rae told her. 

“Yes Captain.” 

“And finally, Archie, our pilot and navigator.  You’ll be the one keeping the star maps in order and making sure we’re going in the right direction.  You’ll be on the flight controller console – conn.”  Rae continued, “And I’d prefer the least amount of people touch our navigation controls as possible – so you’ll need to plan ahead for when you’re not on duty, and make constant adjustments to them.”

“Yes Captain.”  Archie nodded.

“So, this is our team of senior officers, together we will run this ship, and make all of the decisions.  Decisions that may have a major impact on every member of this crew and their families.”  She reminded them.  “Does anyone have anything to add?” 

“How did you know I’m gay, I never said a word?”  Archie asked Tom. 

“I’m Edo.”  Tom answered, “We are naturally pansexual as you call it – open to all sexual experiences with all people.  We normally have sex multiple times a day, we are very in tune with such things.” 

“Wow…”  Archie said.

“Yes.”  Tom nodded, “And we can visit my home world if our Captain allows it.  I would dearly love to see my people again… and have sex…”  He sighed slightly, “Since being in Star Fleet, there has barely been enough time for the pleasures of life… I often wonder how you people don’t explode.  But then I remember you are not Edo.” 

“Yes, thank you.”  Rae said, “I’ll consider that Tom.”  She said and saw Finn cock an eyebrow slightly.  “Any other comments?”  No one had anything else to say, “Okay, dismissed.”  Rae said.

She watched everyone but Commander Nelson get up and leave, quietly talking among themselves. 

She looked over at her number one and saw him give her a slight smile.

“Well that was quite a meeting.”  He was thoroughly amused.  “I never thought I’d see an Edo serving on a Starship.”  He added. 

“I think he’s going to be excellent.”  Captain Earl answered.

“No doubt.”  Finn answered, “It’s just a very different world for him.”  Finn noted, “I’ve been to his home world… Star Fleet is very different.”

“Is it a good idea to stop there for shore leave?”  Rae asked.

“We haven’t left dock yet and you’re thinking about shore leave?”  He joked, “And yes – it’s always a good idea to go to wherever the Edo are.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”  Rae answered, “For when we have an appropriate time for Shore leave.” 

“Good.”  Finn said, the grin still on his face.  “Well I have a date with a bit of manual piloting that I need to prepare for, Captain.”  He gave her a nod and left the meeting room. 

Rae checked the time – there was still 10 minutes until they were scheduled to leave.  She decided to work on some paperwork until then.

 

*

 

“Manually?”  Lieutenant Archie Fraser starred wide eyed at Commander Finn Nelson. 

“That’s right.”  Finn answered with a wry grin, verging on cocky. 

“Without any automation?”  Archie clarified.

“You heard correctly.”  Finn said as he sat down in Archie’s seat. 

Archie made a soft noise of protest, almost panic.  He’d only just gotten himself in that seat – only just finally become the pilot of a galaxy class starship, and already his seat was being filled… by someone who was going to undock manually.  Someone who was probably going to damage his baby. 

“Take her out Number One.”  Captain Rae Earl ordered, her eyes on a report from Star Fleet regarding the Romulan border and security. 

What followed was a wonderful display of piloting – with all the dramatic flare Finn Nelson could muster.  He left every action to the last possible moment – even unclamping the ship from her dock. 

Everyone was anxious, nervous, on the edge of their seat. 

But even so, no one failed to notice Captain Earl sitting calmly, a supremely confident smile on her face as Finn worked. 

When it was done the crew on the bridge crew clapped him, impressed.  Finn turned to see that smile on his Captain’s face and he understood.  This had not been a test of his skills.  This had been an exercise in telling the crew that their Captain had complete faith in her second in command officer. 

Finn’s usually cocky grin dropped.  He was impressed with her.  He gave a humble nod of his head as he sat in his seat beside Captain Rae.  He realised that this assignment really was the most important assignment he’d ever had – this Captain was different.  She wasn’t going to micro-manage him as other Captains had.  She was going to actually let him be a Commander.  She didn’t see his relative youth as a bad thing that needed to be tempered – she was a young Captain herself.  She understood what it was to be surrounded by older Captains and Commanding officers.  His already sky high excitement and expectations for this assignment were greatly raised.    
And so too was his serious side heightened – she was trusting him completely.  He would not let her down. 

 

*

 

The first 6 months had been exactly what everyone had hoped for and wanted.  They had discovered new planets, some inhabited, some not.  They’d studied astrological events and anomalies.  They’d had a few scrapes with hostile aliens, but mostly they’d made new friends.  And the crew had bonded admirably. 

Commander Finn Nelson had finished his crew appraisals a whole month early and he wasn’t the only one who was performing beyond expectations. 

It was in this climate that they approached another new planetary system. 

Rae was sitting in her chair, Finn beside her, Izzy and Archie were at their stations before them, and Rhys was at the tactical station behind them.  Tom, Chloe and Chop were working in their areas around the ship.  Everyone was happily doing their work.  Izzy scanned the next planet. 

“Planet is Class M.”  She told them as she read the scans.  Class M planets were similar to Earth in compositions, gravity and atmosphere, and were habitable.  “Looks like there’s primitive life on the planet… Similar to early Hominids…”

“What kind of early Hominids?”  Rae asked.

“Hmm… Like Neanderthal.”  Izzy said, interpreting the scans, “but also not.” 

“A very scientific answer.”  Rae said with an amused grin.  “I think I’d like to take a look at that.” 

“Oh would you?”  Finn asked. 

Rae turned to look at him. 

“Any sign of danger on the planet?”  Rae asked Izzy, her eyes on Finn. 

“No.”  Izzy said, “Other than from Neanderthal like creatures that might not enjoy our presence.”

“We’ll go in silent.”  Rae answered.  This was her way of saying they would wear cloaks that rendered them invisible.  But she saw Finn arch an eyebrow at her. 

“Regulations stipulate that the Captain-”

“Yes, I know.”  Rae sighed. 

Due to safety concerns, Captains usually stayed on board the ship, to ensure she continued to be properly commanded.  It was First officers that usually went on away missions.  One of the few things the first officers could direct the Captain on was away missions.  The Captain could, of course, choose to ignore the first officer, but Star Fleet would look into it, so it wasn’t worth the hassle. 

“But there is no true safety concern here, and I would very much like to see what Hominids looked like in our early evolution, with my own 2 eyes.”  She reasoned.  This was the first time she was pushing him in his area of command. 

“I suppose this once I won’t oppose it.”  Finn relented and Rae gave him a small grin. 

“Good.”  Rae said, getting to her feet, “I expect you to create an excellent away team to accompany me, number 1.”  She said and went to he ready room.  “I’ll be ready in 20 minutes.”  She said before she closed the door. 

//-//

“You’re really allowing this?”  Rae asked as she stepped up on the transporter pad. 

“It’s not dangerous, remember?”  Finn answered.  “I’m considering to be like shore leave.”  He gave her a cheeky grin. 

“But still, letting so many senior officers go down to the planet at the same time, seems to be inviting danger.”  She answered.

“Hmm, the doc’s up here to look after the ship.  And I have faith she’ll get us out of any trouble we’ll get ourselves into.”  He countered.  “And we have Rhys…”

“Yes well, he definitely instils confidence.”  Rae agreed. 

“And it’s not every day you get to see a species so close to Neanderthals as to excite a science officer into silence.”  He said with a grin and nodded towards Izzy. 

She was looking down at her notes and gripping her tricorder tightly.  She was normally a talkative, bright woman.  The spots that almost all Trill had on the sides of their faces and down their bodies, seemed to highlight the general sunniness Izzy always had. 

They shared a silent smile; they both had an excellent understanding of the senior officers.

Chop and Dr Gemmell were staying aboard, but Rae, Finn, Rhys, Tom, Izzy and Archie were all heading to the planet to take a peek at a species that was similar to Neanderthals. 

//-//

They spent an excellent afternoon watching a small group of Neanderthal like Hominids, Izzy taking endless readings on her tricorder.  Archie talked excitedly about the historical similarities between what current research thought Neanderthals were like, and these Hominids. 

Rhys followed them, silently, scanning their surroundings constantly.  And when Archie stopped talking, Tom spoke about the emotional bonds that the family unit they had been watching, had. 

“I’m so glad I came down here to see this.”  Rae said as she turned and looked back at the valley they were climbing out of.  They had an hour until they were scheduled to be beamed back up to the ship. 

“Have you seen the plant life on this planet?”  Izzy said loudly and then took off towards some beautiful flowers.  She’d been like this since they’d stopped watching the Hominids.  Talking to herself, to them, to her tricorder – about how wonderful this planet was.  “I need to take some samples back to the ship.” 

“Smells beautiful.”  Rae said as she went over to Izzy, “I wouldn’t mind growing those in my quarters.” 

“I’d have to do a full study into its biology,” Izzy answered, “especially its toxicology before-” 

A loud crack made them all look down at the ground around Izzy’s feet. 

“What-?”  Archie began to ask.

And then the ground collapsed from under their feet. 

Finn landed with a painful thud, grunting and groaning in pain.  But he instantly scrambled towards his Captain, fear gripping his stomach.

“Captain!”  He said and she groaned. 

“Well that was a journey.”  She said as she sat up, rubbing her arm and looking up at the hole that had broken through what appeared to be a roof.  “How are my people?”  She asked Finn and he nodded and turned to see Rhys had landed on his feet and was already moving rubble off of Izzy.  Archie was rubbing his head and groaning and Tom was slowly getting to his feet. 

Finn touched his ComBadge.

“Nelson to Mandela, lock onto our location and beam us up.”  He said.  But he was greeted with silence.  “O’Daire, is your ComBadge working?” 

Rhys touched his ComBadge.

“Mandela, come in Mandela.”  He said, but he was also greeted with silence. 

“There must be some interference.”  Finn said, looking around at the walls that now surrounded them.  He went back to Rae and tried to help her to her feet but she waved him off.

“Izzy?”  She asked and went over to her. 

“She’s unconscious.”  Archie said, picking up her tricorder and using it to do a reading on her.  “But she’ll be fine.”  He said as Rhys finished getting the rubble off Izzy. 

“So everyone’s alright?”  Rae asked.

“Oh aye, looks like it.”  Archie replied.

“So, the next question is, what is this place?”  She said looking around.  “Looks like someone’s house…”

“Stay with her.”  Finn said to Rhys as he followed his Captain in exploring the immediate vicinity. 

“Well it doesn’t look dangerous.”  He said, “Except for the roof being weak.”  He looked up and then back at the walls.  “Definitely an underground house.” 

“Long abandoned.”  Rae agreed as she opened a stiff door. 

The room opened up into a large observation hide, looking out over the valley and a small Neanderthal settlement. 

“And it was built for the view.”  He noted.  “So are we thinking that we’re not the first people to come here and observe these people?”  He asked. 

‘Seems like it.”  Rae answered, “Which opens up all sorts of interesting prospects.”  Rae said.

“There was another M Class Planet in this system.”  Finn said, with no signs of advanced life.”  He furrowed his brows, “But whatever the walls are made seems to interfere with our communicators…”  He said suggestively.

“Perhaps they interfere with our scanners too.”  Rae understood.  “So we’re looking at an advanced civilisation, living underground, probably on the other planet… sending observation teams to this planet.”  Rae surmised.  “Fascinating.” 

“As fascinating as this genuinely is, Captain, our immediate issue is getting out of here.”  Finn returned.

“We’ll have to wait for Izzy to awaken.”  Rae said, “But whoever made this place, they had to get down here.  So we’ll get out that way.” 

“Sound Logic.”  Finn agreed, “As long as that part of the house is still accessible.”  He pointed back at the cave in that had gotten them all here – part of the rubble was blocking a door. 

Rae sighed. 

“Well either way, in an hour when we don’t check in as expected, the Mandela will send search teams.”  Rae said, “They’ll find us.” 

They returned to the others as Izzy was regaining consciousness.

“You alright?”  Rae asked, kneeling down in front of Izzy.

“Yeah… Sorry Yes Captain.”  Izzy said as she sat up, a hand on her head. 

“And your symbiont is alright?”  Rae asked and Izzy nodded.

“Yes.”  Izzy put a hand on her stomach.  “We’re fine.” 

“Alright, let’s have a look around, see what we can find.”  Captain Rae said, “See if we can find a way out.”

“And if we can’t?”  Archie asked. 

“We’ll hold tight until rescue arrives.”  Finn answered.  –

“We have plenty of rations.”  Archie said, his voice higher than usual, “So we’ll be fine.” 

“I should think so, it’ll only be an hour.”  Izzy said with an amused smile. 

“Alright, you 4 stay here, number one, let’s have a look for a way out.”  Rae said but Rhys cleared his throat.  “I suppose you have some security concerns?”  Rae said archly. 

“Yes Captain.”  Rhys said as Tom sat down next to Archie and commented that it was very common amongst Humans to feel uncomfortable in dark, underground settings in a low voice that only Archie heard. 

“Izzy is in no condition to walk.”  Rae said and looked at Archie, his knees drawn up to his chest, Tom talking softly to him.  “And I think other crew menders are equally indisposed.”  She continued, “and they need guarding.  Number 1 can guard me.”  She said with a roll of her eyes. 

Archie was denying his fear of dark underground places when Rhys turned to look at them, Tom nodding understandingly, a knowing look on his face.

“You are correct.”  Rhys said, clearly not comfortable with this, “But security is my concern.” 

“And Number 1 will see to my security.” 

“And who will see to his security?”  Rhys asked as Archie finally admitted he was terrified and Tom gently talked him through it. 

“Me.”  Rae answered obstinately. 

“I understand your concerns O’Daire.”  Finn said, “We won’t go far.  We’ll just quickly look for a way up and out.” 

“So many senior officers should not have come down.”  He grumbled but nodded his acquiesce. 

“And it won’t happen again.”  Finn agreed, making Captain Rae sigh.  “Let’s go.”  He said as he turned to his Captain.

There were another 2 doors off their main room, one was covered with rubble, so they took the other door. 

A short way into the room they saw a ladder leading to a hatch in the ceiling. 

“Well there’s the way out.”  Rae said looking at the ladder, and then walking over to it she looked down.  “Of course, we could just quickly look down there.”  She said, looking at the ladder going down. 

“You’re incorrigible.”  Finn said with a wry grin.

“I’m your Captain.”  Rae returned his grin and climbed onto the ladder, heading down. 

“You’re incorrigible, Captain.”  Finn corrected and Rae laughed as she continued downwards. 

“It’s tight quarters down here.”  Rae said as Finn got onto the ladder.

“I know you don’t think you’re going somewhere without me.”  Finn said, “Captain.” 

She was laughing when he joined her at the bottom of the ladder.

“Of course not, Number 1 – I know how seriously you take your duties.”  She said and Finn could feel her breath against his face.

Quite suddenly, his urge to protect her shifted from entirely professional to something more urgent, more primal.  Their eyes met, a laugh on her lips, a moment of realisation on his face.  But she was turning away before he had time to really grasp what he was feeling. 

“The door is very tight.”  She said pulling on it, “Give me a hand Number 1.”

“Of-“ But he had to clear his throat.  “Of course.”  He reached over her, trying to grab hold of the door handle.  “I just need to get closer…”  His voice dropped.

“No need to worry Number 1.”  Rae said, “Get to it.”  She told him. 

He had to press his chest against her back to get close enough to pull on the handle. 

The physical closeness was exquisite and Finn knew he was in trouble – he had feelings for his Captain. 

They managed to pull the door open and found a large storage room. 

“Whoever it was hasn’t been here for a long while.”  Rae said, furrowing her brows.  She turned back to Finn, seeming not to notice their physical closeness, “Now I have to choose whether we stay around here for a few days to figure out this mystery, or whether we keep going to the next system.”  She squeezed past him to the opposite door and started tugging on it.  “It is, of course, most likely visitors from the other M-Class planet…”  She mused to herself, “But still, it would be good to know for sure.  If they have warp drives, we can keep an eye on them, consider welcoming them to the Federation… First Contact.”  She whispered to herself.  “Help me out here Number 1.”  She said and he again had to press against her to help her open the door. 

“Sleeping quarters.”  Finn said and they went into the room. 

“I wonder what kind of species they are.”  Rae said, turning on the spot, taking in the sleeping quarters. 

“Well you’re the captain.”  Finn said, “It’s your call.”  He took a look in a drawer, “It might be nothing more than the neighbouring planet observing evolution in progress here.”  He said and turned to look at her, “Or there may be a deeper mystery… something a little exciting.”  

“Oh it’s all always exciting in space.”  Rae answered with a wry grin.  The tedium of all the administrative work they both had to do had been commented on by both of them more than once. 

“Oh of course.”  Finn agreed, “this could be quite a discovery…”

“Or nothing but a routine discovery.”  Rae countered.  She sat down on the bed to look through a drawer.  “I think we should stay for another… 2 days.”  Rae said in a measured tone, “If it’s something more than routine observation from a neighbouring planet, we’ll be able to discover it in that time and then allocate more time to it.”  She said, “And if it’s not, then we haven’t wasted too much time.”

“Good plan.”  Finn said sitting next to her, “And we are out here to discover new things – we can’t do that if we don’t look.” 

“Very true.”  Rae gave him an approving nod.  “Alright, we better be the responsible ones and test that ladder leading up.” 

He heard the reluctance in her voice.  She liked to adventure – he could tell. 

“Or there’s a door that way.”  He cocked a thumb over his shoulder. 

“Tempting.”  She gave him a smile that must have been the kind of smile she had when she had been a little girl, exploring her back yard, turning over rocks to see worms.  “But I should leave that to the scientists we have on board – it is their job after all.”  She got up, sighing, “And I would prefer if we had Izzy looked over by the doc sooner rather than later.”  She said, “I’m sure she’s fine, but nonetheless.” 

“Alright.”  Finn got up and followed her back to the ladder. 

Rae started to climb up the ladder and Finn tried to not look at her as she went.  He had done a good job of not sexualising people without their permission, his whole adult life.  But he knew if he turned to look at his Captain as she went up that ladder, he’d look at her arse.  And that was unacceptable – he had no invitation to do such a thing, nor was it professionally appropriate. 

It was because he was looking away that he didn’t see her coming when the rung broke and she fell. 

And it was because he didn’t see her coming that he lost his footing when she crashed into him.

And it was because he lost his footing that they ended up tangled on the floor, her on top of him. 

And it was because she was on top of him that Rae laughed and looked into his eyes, ready to apologise and get up and get back to it…

But instead of getting up there was a moment of silence as they stared into each other’s eyes. 

“Uh…”  Rae said.

“Ah…”  Finn said at the same time.

They both laughed awkwardly, but they did not break eye contact. 

“I better… I’m sorry Number 1.”  Rae cleared her throat and got to her feet. 

“I should have done a better job catching you Captain.”  Finn said, “It’s my job.”

“I didn’t know that it was part of your job description.”  She said as she got to her feet.

“Oh yes.”  Finn said seriously, but a smirk came to his mouth.

They paused, both looking down, the tightness of the small room at the bottom of the ladder very obvious to Rae now. 

They both looked up at the same time, their eyes meeting again. 

“Well, let’s see if I can manage to get up that ladder this time.”  Rae said, not really hearing the words she was using.  She normally had an excellent presence of mind, but right now, for some reason, she seemed to have lost that. 

She made herself turn away and was glad to see her mental fortitude had returned as soon as she wasn’t staring into his eyes. 

“I should go first, to make sure none of the rungs are as dangerous as the one that broke.”  Finn said but Rae waved him off and started up the ladder.

“I’ll just have to be more careful Number 1.”  She said.

Finn looked up this time, wanting to be ready if she should fall.  He tried not to look at her arse and mostly succeeded by focussing on her safety and their professional relationship and careers. 

She continued up to the hatch and found that it opened relatively easily, so she called down to Finn.

“Number 1, get the rest of the away team here, let’s go back to the ship.” 

“Yes Captain.”  Finn answered.

In less than 10 minutes they were back aboard the Mandela, minor injuries dealt with and orders were given to move on to the next M Class planet so that they could get an idea of what was happening in this system. 

The Captain had already told her crew they’d be staying in the area for 2 days, and everyone was focussed on this little mystery now.

 

 

 

 for people who don't know the races -[ there's pics of them in my tumblr post of this story](http://fanningon.tumblr.com/post/164729532566/prompt-31-days-of-fanfic-challenge-day-29-a)


	30. Day 30 - Pre-Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We already know a bit about Rae pre-Rinn, so here’s some Finn  
> it’s episodes 1-4. i didn’t have time to do the whole of season 1 - sorry about that.   
> but now I’ve done the sexy party from Finn’s pov twice. eek

 

_Oh fuck, she’s talking about the Backstreet Boys again.  How that fuck can you bang on about any band this much., let alone one that don’t even play any soddin’ instruments?_

Finn sighed.

“Oh I’m sorry, am I boring you?”  Stacey asked snarkily. 

“Yeah actually, y’are.”  Finn said before he’d realised what he was saying.

Big mistake.

 

*

 

Finn’s ears were still ringing from the yelling Stacey had given him, 3 weeks later when Archie had introduced him to Chloe. 

He was single again, and she was hot, he supposed, so when she flirted, he didn’t resist. 

They fell into an easy, uninspiring flirtation.  But Finn really wasn’t that interested after only a few hours of talking to her.  She was nicer than Stacey, smarter too… but she just didn’t… he couldn’t explain it – she didn’t do it for him.

_Maybe I like blokes like Archie?_

Finn thought as he listened to Chloe trying to get a conversation going with Chop.  Archie was occasionally having a perv on a lad across the bar. 

 _He thinks he’s so subtle._  

Finn smirked, and took a quick look at the lad.

_Nope, that does nothing for me either.  Maybe I’m broken or something?  Chop said he’d give his right nut to shag Stacey, but… She were just so boring…_

Finn sighed. 

“I’m sorry, are we fucking boring ya?”  Chop snapped.

“Yeah, like fuckin’ always.”  Finn answered.

“Grumpy sod.”  Chop sneered, and bought them all another round of beers. 

That night, Chop had introduced Izzy to the group.

Finn had wondered if she might excite some interest in him…

Nothing stirred. 

_Maybe I’m just preternaturally bored…_

_What does preternaturally even mean?_

_Fuck…_

_Maybe I’m just permanently bored?_

_Yeah, that’s more like it._

 

*

 

Days bled into weeks and the summer holidays were finally upon them. 

The girls fit in well with the gang, and Chloe and Finn’s flirtation had cooled without leading anywhere.  But Finn had a feeling he could reignite it with ease, should the urge take him. 

But he had sunk into his boredom and was entirely uninterested in pretty much everything.  And he was comfortable in that place.  Like finding the groove your body leaves in your mattress or your butt leaves on the lounge.  It was a spot that he knew well, it gave him comfort to just accept it. 

Besides music, the one thing that got him excited was working on his motorbike with Chop.  And riding it of course.

And today was a great day for riding.  Even Chloe on the back couldn’t dampen his spirits.  He preferred riding alone. 

But still, the gang got him laughing – Izzy’s never-ending high spirits did that to everyone. 

But while they were stopped at the intersection Chloe called out excitedly to someone in one of the cars and jumped off the back of the bike to talk to whoever it was. 

Finn sighed and refused to look, instead talking with Chop and the others, waiting for Chloe to come back, thinking he might go without her if she didn’t get a move on… then wondering how much of a jerk would that make him…?

Eventually curiosity got the better of him and he turned back to see who she was talking to.

A fat girl.  Black hair.  She seemed a little defensive and distant, worried or something – but Chloe was clearly excited and happy to see her.  Finn started to look away, but he found himself looking back at her when she started to look at them.  Chloe was obviously inviting her to come and hang with them.

Finn sucked his teeth moodily.  Unimpressed. 

_Another new person._

He turned away grumpily just as her eyes stop on Archie.

_At least she’ll be Archie’s problem.  Not mine._

She obviously found Archie attractive. 

_Poor Archie… poor girl._

Finn mused, and then the horn of the car the fat girl had been in sounded.

Long and drawn out.

It was awkward and Finn felt a little sorry for her as she grumpily got back in the car.

But he wasn’t going to let it ruin his day.  Chloe got back on the bike and they headed down to the chippie for food and fun. 

 

*

 

That night Finn was showering, thinking about the day he’d had when-

He looked down at his penis, in the process of erecting.

“Hello buddy.”  He mumbled.  It’d had been a while since he’d felt horny.  Not since he’d told Chop he was gonna do it with Stacey.  The thought of finally losing his virginity had put him on overdrive for a few days but… being actually in Stacey’s presence killed his cock dead every time and he’d never actually sealed the deal with her.  After he’d dumped her, he worried that he’d stay a virgin forever for about 2 and a half days, and then he got over it. 

“Alright then…”  He took the matter in hand and started to wank. 

It felt good to be feeling a little horny again.  He wondered if Chloe’s crop top had set him off again.  she was a step above Stacey, so maybe he should start that flirtation again.  Although he knew that for Chloe it’d had never really stopped… just cooled a little. 

He imagined her taking her helmet off today, the way her body stretched, showing her curves… it wasn’t doing it for him. 

But then he saw her talking to that fat girl and that was the gold.  Just talking… Chloe talking seemed to… do something… He just kept the image of those 2 girls talking in his mind, his hand furiously jerking at his cock, and far too quickly he came, groaning and panting loudly. 

_Well that was nice…_

It had been too long since he’d had a wank.

And with that, he decided to try it on with Chloe again. 

 

*

 

At the pub that night, Chloe brought her friend to meet them.  It was that fat girl again.  Finn watched as Chloe, her eyes alight with excitement and happiness, introduced her to them. 

She seemed a bit timid, and she didn’t drink apparently.  Finn didn’t know what to make of her. 

_Who comes to a pub and doesn’t drink?_

He watched her sit down.

_I bet them eyes are showing a lot more than you want them to girl… a lot more than you realise._

She was obviously nervous. 

Finn left the girls to themselves and started chatting with Chop again without having said a word to the new girl. 

He felt a little annoyed and he didn’t know why.  But Chop was always good for brightening his mood.  And Archie getting up and singing a tune or five made things even better.

And the epic food fight at the chippie after was even better. 

It had been a good night.  Even if that May bird had seemed a bit out of place…

But when he’d gotten home, Finn found himself wanking again.  Again, thinking of that moment of Chloe talking to that May bird.  Maybe it was the way the light shone on her hair or something.  He couldn’t quite figure out what it was that was doing it for him.  But boy was it doing it. 

 

*

 

He was spending Thursday morning with Chop, working with him at the garage.  Making a few quid over the summer holidays. 

“Mate, you gonna move on Chlo or not?”  Chop asked as he leaned over the engine of a client’s car, grease on his forehead where he’d scratched himself. 

“Why?”  Finn asked, cleaning the leads to the battery.

“Might move on her meself if you’re not gonna.”

“What about Iz?”

“That’d be like banging me sister – I known her forever.”  Chop said with a scrunched up face.

“Alright.”  Finn shrugged.

_I’m gonna up my bet with Archie.  Them 2 will be shagging by the end of summer… 20 quid says so…_

“So you gonna go Chloe?”

“I dunno.  Probably.”  Finn said.  “If I don’t go May.”  He joked.

“Which one’s May?”

“Oh you know, that bird.”

“Which bird?”

“The one Chloe knows.”

“Chloe knows a lot o’ girls mate, you’re gonna have to be clearer than that.”

“Ugh, don’t worry, I’m not gonna shag her, so there’s no point in talking about it…”  His sentence trailed off as they both focussed on their work. 

 

*

 

_That bloody May bird._

Finn was annoyed beyond reason. 

_I fucking wanted Archie to put music on not you – I don’t wanna listen to fucking Backstreet Boys or whatever the fuck it is you listen to.  For fucks sake._

No one was impressed when Rae put her hand on the coin. 

“Look May-”

“It’s Rae.”

“As in Raymond?”

“As in Rachel.”

“Whatever Rae, it’s my 20p, and I want Archie to do it, alright?” 

_Fuck the fuck off…_

Finn was really annoyed by the look she gave him, that confident, impertinent gaze… cocky even. 

“If you don’t like what I put on, I’ll give you your 20p back.” 

She got up and everyone glanced at each other.  Chloe looked sorry that she’d introduced this unwelcome girl into their gang.  Archie was clearly amused; he was expecting the same sort of crap that Finn was. 

 _At least when this is done and she’s made a fucking dick of herself, she’ll stop hanging around._  

Finn reasoned and sat back to await what tripe she’d play.

But _‘Sabotage’_ by the Beastie Boys came on.  Chop cried out his approval from the bar, Izzy and Archie loved it and Chloe just looked relived that Rae had done something right. 

Finn barely noticed Archie and Rae talking until-

_Yeah it’s alright for mainstream…_

He mocked her in his head and looked away grumpily.

_Fucking mainstream?  What the fuck does she mean by fucking mainstream?  If this is fucking mainstream…?  This isn’t mainstream?  Is this mainstream?  Spice Girls is mainstream…?  Fucking hell…_

He didn’t really tune back into the conversation until Chloe was inviting everyone to her first ever pool party.  Everyone was pretty excited-

And then it happened.

The girl who apparently didn’t drink, downed a whole snake bite.

_Fuck me… that’s impressive…_

 

*

 

Finn went home that night, knowing he was gonna wank in the shower.  He’d had a raging erection for most of the night.  He had no idea where it had come from, but fuck he really needed to cum.

He pictured Chloe and Rae talking again… the light in Chloe’s hair… and then… then it was Rae… telling him she’d give him back his 20p… giving him that cocky look while she called _‘Sabotage’_ mainstream… drinking that whole fucking snakebite with fucking ease…

Finn cried out loudly with one of the strongest orgasms he’d ever had. 

“Shit…”

 

*

 

Finn noticed her as soon as she arrived at Chloe’s place. 

_Fuckin’ Archie and his back acne, he gets all the girl’s sympathy and he’s never gonna shag any of ‘em._

_Fucking shut up Finn._

_Fuck what was Chlo saying?  Pay attention, you twat… To Chloe... Pay attention to Chloe.  It’s her fucking party…_

Finn stayed near Chop, Izzy and Chloe for as long as he could, swimming with them, messing around with them. 

Completely ignoring Rae, sitting on the seat in her gown, reading, not swimming… wearing those orange glasses…

He ignored the others commenting on Rae not coming in.  He focussed on making drinks and having a good time.  He studiously didn’t look at her.  He wouldn’t even let himself say her name in his mind. 

He heard a strange squealing sound.  Skin on plastic.  Shuddering to a halt.

Finn looked up and saw her. 

Stuck in the slide.

_Oh fuck._

He felt a wash of second hand embarrassment for her. 

There was an awkward moment of silence.  No one knew what to say or do. 

Everyone stared at her.

_Do something Finn… say something…_

_What’s… what’s wrong with her legs…?_

He saw the strange scars on her thighs and instantly looked away – it felt too personal to be looking at them.  But before he had chance to really think about it-

“Chop?”  Her voice sounded so confident… how could she sound so confident?  Finn knew that if something like this had happened to him, he’d curl up into a ball and never see the light of day again.

“Yes, my dear?”  Chop said in his uncomplicated way. 

“Come and use those big swans you been building to prise my fat butt out of this slide.” 

Finn didn’t even know what to think of that.  He felt a strange flurry of emotions.

“Not a problem Rae.”  Chop said as he swam over to her. 

Finn stole a quick glance at her.  And he saw it-

_Not so confident as you seem._

She was taking a deep breath, holding herself together.

_She’s so strong._

_Oh fuck…_

Chop pulled her out of the slide with ease and she dunked into the water while Finn tried not to think about the feelings that were starting to form in his stomach.  He splashed someone – he didn’t know who, he wasn’t paying attention, but they were all laughing, relieved, happy… the awkwardness had passed and Rae was an okay girl. 

And suddenly she was talking to him, a smile on her face.

“Barman!  A lemon hooch if you’d be so kind?”  She was asking him for a drink.  It took his mind a second to catch up with everything, but he nodded dumbly.  “And turn that shit off!” 

_Aye she’s right about the fucking music…_

He thought as he poured the drink for her. 

They swam and splashed about for hours, Finn doing everything he could to not look at her.  But he couldn’t help stealing the occasional glance at her.  He found himself admiring the shape of her arse far too many times… and her boobs…

_More than a handful there… oh god shut up Finn…_

But it was in the steam room when he realised just how much trouble he was in. 

She had sat next to Archie.  And Finn knew he should sit literally anywhere else… but his legs insisted on taking him to the spot next to Rae.  His bare arm touched her bare arm and he felt a jolt of electricity go through his body.  She was talking with Archie and didn’t even notice him there. 

_Play it cool you fucking idiot._

He cleared his throat, trying to think of something good to say about music.  But Chop came in and started talking.  Soon enough Rae and Chop were laughing together, and Finn joined in.

 _Oh shit… Maybe Chop’ll move on her?_  

Finn saw the way they laughed and talked together so easily – their senses of humour were so similar. 

And when they were swimming again later, Chop stayed close to her, taking every opportunity to touch her, and dunk her, and splash her, and hold her to him.

_Fuck._

 

*

 

“You alright Finn?”

_Play it cool._

“S’pose.”

_Under no circumstances can you let this girl know – or even suspect – that you wanked 8 fucking times since the pool party, thinking about her._

_8 times in 2 fucking days._

_I’m turning into a deviant._

_Fuck._

_Fuck shit._

“I’m fine, by the way.”  She snarked and Finn looked up from rolling his cigarette.

_Maybe I played it too cool.  Oh no… oh fuck…l how do I fix this?_

“Rae!”

It was Archie.  Of course it was Archie. 

Finn could see the look of desire on Rae’s face when she looked at Archie. 

_Shit.  Should I tell her…?  No you can’t… fuck…_

_Just roll your fucking cigarette Finn._

Finn tried to ignore Chop talking shit, but when he said orgasms were like sneezing 8 times…

“Bloody bollocks.”  Finn disagreed.

_Has Chop never cum before?  Or is it different when you’re with a girl?  I can’t imagine 8 sneezes being better than the orgasms I’m having…_

“It’s true.  And when I come, I come with thunder, pal.”  Chop continued while everyone laughed, “Once you get him out, the SWAT team can’t get him back in.”  Chop motioned to his cock.

_Jesus fucking christ!_

“Oh aye?”  Finn laughed, “What about the girls you’re doing it with?”

Finn knew that Chop had more experience than him so he couldn’t help but ask.  But still… he couldn’t help but think Chop was lying, or at least exaggerating.  And it showed when Finn spoke. 

“Ask Sam Moffat, mate.”  Chop answered, “I threw her round that Renault 5 like she was an empty shell suit.” 

That was met with dirty laughter from all the boys, but Izzy was unimpressed.

“Why d’you have to be such a horrible boy all the time?”  She asked as she hit his arm. 

 _Aye, she kinda has a point…_  

Finn joined in, punching Chop’s thigh as hard as he could, laughing merrily, trying to not hope that Rae was noticing his strength and how he took Izzy’s side.

And then Chloe was prattling on about something, but Finn wasn’t really listening.  His energy was buzzing a little and he was trying not to look at Rae. 

_Wait, what?_

Finn just realised that Chloe had asked Rae to list her best sexual and romantic experience. 

_Oh shit… I dunno if I wanna hear this… what if she’s got more experience than me… of course she has...  fuck…_

_But then… maybe I’ll hear about what she likes and I can maybe…_

_Shut up Finn… I’m not doing this… whatever this is.  It’s not happening.   I like being bored and fucking… fucking aloof.  Is the word aloof?  Yeah.  Aloof._

_I wonder what she’ll say-?_

_She’s bailing._

_Fuck, she’s bailing…_

_There’s no way she’s a virgin._

_Is she?_

 

*

 

That night, Finn’s wanking was suddenly not just memories of random things she’d done… suddenly he was fantasising about them losing their virginity together.

_Alright Nelson you gotta stop this shit._

 

*

 

“Chop you are talking absolute bollocks, orgasms are mint.  A sneeze isn’t even nice, so how can 8 of ‘em be an orgasm?  It doesn’t make sense.”  Finn couldn’t let it drop. 

“It’s pound for pound.  It has the same physical impact.  I read it in a textbook, alright?”  Chop answered seriously.  “So just drop it.”

“Prove it.”  Finn said obstinately. 

“Alright.  I will do.”  Chop answered.

“Go on.”  Finn grabbed the pepper, “No, rack up a line of that pepper and see if you can snort it.  Go on.” 

_This is gonna be either epic or fucking hilarious…_

_Or he’s gonna end up in hospital…_

_Probably all 3…_

Rae sat down and Finn resolutely kept drawing up pepper lines for Chop. 

But Izzy was suddenly talking about a date with Archie.

_I didn’t know she had a date with Archie…_

_But Archie likes boys… at least I think he does.  He’s always looking at ‘em._

_Maybe I got it wrong… or maybe he likes girls as well?_

_Oh shit…_

_Chop’s her comedic soul mate… Archie’s her sex pal…_

_Fuck.  FUCK._

_No.  I am not doing this…_

_It’ll be nothing.  Nothing happened._

_Archie’s gay.  I’ve known him all me life and I know this._

_And it don’t matter if something happened cos I’m not doing this shit._

_…._

_……_

_…..…_

_Nothing happened…._

He couldn’t help but stare while Rae spoke. 

“You didn’t let him touch your lady parts, did you, Raemundo?”  Chop teased. 

Izzy slapped Chop and he asked her what she was doing.

“No, nothing happened.”  Finn declared.

_Sounding a little fucking defensive Nelson, cool it._

“I told you nothin’d happen.”  He shrugged, trying to play it cool.

_OK… I think I saved that._

“Yeah… nothing happened.”  Rae said.

_Oh thank fuck-_

“We did have a bit of a kiss though!”  She added. 

_Wait, what?_

_But… But Archie’s gay and…_

_And…_

_It’s nothing Finn.  It’s just a kiss._

_Stop looking at her lips…_

_Stop imagining Archie kissing her…_

_…_

_….._

_STOP IMAGING YOU KISSING HER!_

_For fucks sake!_

_NO IZZY!  ARCHIE AND RAE ARE NOT SO FUCKING PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!_

_FOR ONE – HE’S FUCKING GAY._

_TWO – SHE’S… she’s…_

But Finn didn’t even want to think it.  Acknowledging it would stop him from being bored and aloof.  And at fucking peace!

He focussed back on the pepper while Chop teased Rae some more and Izzy giggled delightedly with Rae. 

_He’s gonna break her heart.  Fuck…_

_What do I do?_

_There’s nothing I can do._

“But… big deal.  So we kissed.”

_You wouldn’t be saying that after I kissed you…_

_Stop it._

Finn felt oddly sad for a moment.

_Just stop it Finn.  She no looking at you._

_She never looks at you._

_Not once._

_Not once._

Chloe interrupted his morose thoughts and dragged the girls off to the toilets, so Finn focussed his mind back on the pepper.  That would cheer him up.  Chop being a dickhead always did cheer him up. 

 

*

 

“No I’m not fucking doing it.”

“Come on  Finn, you’re me best mate.”

“Why are you fucking doing it to her?” 

“I just-”

“You always do this – you start shit with girls, then you won’t follow it through.”

“She’s just…”

“She what?”

“Nothing, she’s great… but… I dunno… maybe she’s more into me than I’m into her.”

“You and every girl Arch.”

_Just say it Arch… just tell me… then you can stop doing this shit.  And I can stop having to tell girls you’re not fucking showing up to your plans with them._

“I’m… I’m just not feeling well.”

“You look fine.” 

“Well I’m not.  Come on Finn…  you’re me best mate… and it’s not like it’s a real date or nothing.  It’s just a hook up.” 

“I fucking hate you Archie.”

“No you don’t.” 

“You’re right, but fuck you – this the last time I’m doing this for you.”

 

*

 

_Oh shit._

_Oh fuck._

_She were all dressed up like Chloe (not like Chloe - she said not like Chloe) and the look in her eye when I said he weren’t coming… she were already unhappy to see me but… fuck._

_It were a fucking date._

_Archie you fucking cunt-knuckle._

_I’m not doing his fucking dirty work no more._

_Fuck I just broke her heart for him.  I just…_

_Fuck this._

Finn paced his room, his whole body filled with agitation. 

“Fuck.”  He picked up the phone and called Chloe.

“Chloe here.”

“Hey Chlo… um… about what happened…”

“What happened?  What did Archie say?”

“Nothing much… was Rae… I mean…”

“She’s gutted.”  Chloe said dramatically.

_I fucking knew it._

“Can I get her address?”

 

*

 

Finn took a deep breath and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

He’d wanted to come yesterday but he’d been too agitated.

_Why are you doing this?  It don’t matter._

_Yeah it does…_

He rang the doorbell and was greeted by Rae’s mum. 

She looked him up and down.

“Can I see Rae?”  He asked and her eyebrows went up momentarily.

“I’ll just get her.”  She said simply. 

He waited, looking down the street, fidgeting and trying to get himself under control, while she went to get Rae. 

When Rae finally appeared, she was wearing a bathrobe, her hair was pulled back roughly and she rolled her eyes – he could see it in his periphery.

_She really hates me._

Finn felt that deep pang of sadness again. 

“What?”  She didn’t even pretend to like him at all. 

Finn felt an ache in his chest he couldn’t explain.  He really didn’t like it. 

“I came about yesterday.”  He said, not able to look her in the eye. 

“Come to take the piss, have you?” 

“No.”  Finn knew he deserved far worse reproof from her.  He was ashamed of what he’d been a part of. 

“Just save it.”  She started to go back inside.

“I would never have done it if I knew you were supposed to be on a date.”

“Oh.  How very grown-up of you.”  She mocked and came back to the door, leaning on the doorframe.  

“Look, I know you don’t like me, and that’s fine, right?  But I just…”  He shook his head, unsure what to say next… Archie was his best friend and he knew he was supposed to be loyal to that.  But he glanced up at Rae and so wanted to tell her the truth of how he felt about this whole thing.  “I think he’s a dick for what he did.”

_I would never hurt you like that Rae._

_Watch it Finn…_

“I didn’t want you adding it to the very long list of things you hate about me.”  Finn added. 

_Oh fuck that hurts… why does it hurt so much?_

_No I’m not answering that._

_Fuck…_

Finn waited for a moment to see if she’d say something… something to maybe soothe his pain.  But she didn’t. 

_What were you expecting.  That she’d be so grateful she’d fuck you on the door step._

_Fucking christ Finn…_

He turned back to his motorbike and got on. 

“Finn.” 

He turned back to her, his heart leaping. 

“The list isn’t that long.”  She told him.

And somehow that sent shockwaves of exultation through him.

_Finn… she still hates you.  Cool it._

_Nah fuck it… I’m into this girl._

“Archie’s at work at the leisure centre right now.”  He said, “If I were you,” He said, putting his helmet on to hide his happiness, “I’d find him and I’d stick a fucking boot right up his arse.”

_There you go my strong girl – you go fucking get him._

_That smile…_

_GO FINN, JUST GO - BEFORE YOU DECLARE SOMETHING TO HER._

 

*

 

“Did you have to send her after me?”

“Yep.” 

“Yeah fair enough.”

“Did she kick your arse?”

“Nah, we’re closer now, mate.”

_Fuck._

*

 

He threw the wad of tissues in the bin.

“if I keep this up I’m gonna wank it right off.”  He told himself as he lit a cigarette, still lying in his bed naked. 

He’d spent the morning at school, watching Chloe plays sports.  Archie was, of course sitting between them.  Frustratingly. 

Finn had tried a few conversation openers, but Rae hadn’t taken one of them.  And he became increasingly aware that his conversation attempts were pretty shitty. 

“You’re supposed to be her best friend…”  He mocked himself, thinking about what he’d said to Rae earlier on, “Fucking twat.”  He said. 

But he thought about how close Rae and Archie were.

How close Rae and Chop were.

How she literally rolled her eyes every time she saw him. 

“Frustrating girl.”  Finn grumbled.  He’d hoped that she might have softened in her hatred for him.  But apparently not. 

Hadn’t stopped him wanking over her, every chance he got. 

“I’m not into her.”  Finn said to his bedroom ceiling, “She hates me, and I’m not stupid enough to be into a girl that hates me.”

The phone rung and Finn got up to go down to the kitchen to get it.  He grabbed some jeans and put them on as he went downstairs. 

“Yeah.”

“Oasis.  Knebworth.”  It was Chop.

“Aye, what about it?”

“I’m buying tickets lad.”

“Get me one I’ll pay ya back.” 

“I’m buying for all the lads.”  Chop said, “Listen… I’m thinking o’ buyin’ one for Raemundo.  She’s like one o’ the lads.”

“No she’s not.”  Finn said instantly. 

_She’s an incredibly sexy girl…_

_Shut up Finn!_

“What is your fucking problem with Rae?”

“I don’t have one – she got a problem with me.” 

“Look, should I get a ticket for her or not?”

“Yeah.”  Finn answered, “I’ll go halves with ya hey?”

“She can just pay me back.”  Chop said. 

“No she can’t.”

There was a pause.  They both knew she was in a single income house.  No one else in the gang was – Finn had been until he was old enough to work, but his dad earned a lot more money than Rae’s mother did – it was fairly obvious. 

“Alright, you’re paying for half of it.”  Chop agreed. 

“Archie might go in thirds.”  Finn added.

“I’ll ask him.”

Chop hung up without another word and Finn opened up the fridge. 

“I’m so into her.”  He sighed.  “Stop it.” 

 

*

 

The lads had all been sitting around chatting about Knebworth when Chloe had come into the chippie. 

She’d plopped down on his lap like it was nothing.

_Good._

_This is more like it._

_Chloe might have a boyfriend, but at least I know she still fancies me._

_If I’m into Chloe, it’s not like getting me nuts kicked every time I try to talk to her, like it is with Rae…_

_Stop thinking Finn._

Everyone was laughing and having a good time.  He settled into the rhythm of the conversation happily. 

And then she came in.

He instantly felt butterflies in his stomach.  They were going to tell her about the gig…  she’d be so happy.  He’d see that smile – he’d partially be the cause of it.

“Raemundo!”  Chop called happily, “This is Little Al,” he did the introductions, “You know Barney and Lizard.”  Rae nodded her helloes and Finn watched the way she moved.  “Listen, I wanna chat to you about Saturday.”  Chop was drawing it out and Finn watched Rae’s face – wanting to see that exquisite moment of happiness that he knew would come. 

“What’s Saturday?”  She asked, her brows furrowed.

“Oasis, Knebworth.”  Chop answered like it was obvious. 

Rae sighed with disgust.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”  She groaned.

“The lads got tickets!”  Chloe spilled the beans.

“What?”  Rae was shocked. 

“Lucky bastards.”  Chloe added.

“You mean… You’re all actually going?”  Rae asked, astounded. 

Finn played his part while the lads all looked a little guilty.

“We didn’t know what to say.”  Chop said.  “Sorry.”

“Well, it’s…”  Rae obviously tried to look unconcerned, “not that big a deal.”  She said, looking down at her sleeve. 

“So…”  Chop said, reaching into his pocket, “you don’t want this, then?”  He said holding up a ticket to the gig.  “I’ve got one spare.”

“Are you messing with me?”  Rae asked, a grin starting to come to her face. 

“I’m not messing with you.”  Chop said, a huge grin on his face. 

“Don’t mess with me.”  Rae’s face became serious.

“I’m not!  It’s real!”  The lads all laughed happily. 

Finn couldn’t help but grin, he looked from Chop to Rae and was gifted with that joy he’d known he’d see.

_Fuck she’s beautiful._

_Oh shit, think about something else afore Chloe feels that…_

“OH CHOP!”  She squealed, giving him a huge hug.  Chop laughing loudly. 

There were hi-5s all round.  But Finn noticed Chloe getting up, unhappy.  He supposed it was hard on her to not be invited.  But Chloe didn’t even like Oasis, so he figured it was for the best. 

 

*

 

Later at the bar she was standing next to him, declaring that this was the best summer ever. 

“Archie!”  She clinked glasses with him.  “Chop!”

“My dear!”  He clinked his glass with her.

Finn’s heart was going a million miles an hour and he was just trying to keep it together.

_She’s right beside me._

_Fuck…_

_I do not like this girl._

_I do not like this girl._

_I do not like this girl._

“You excited about Knebworth then?” 

_She’s talking to me… what the fuck do I say?_

“S’pose so.”  Finn mumbled.

_Don’t look at her Finn, the way she’s smiling’s gonna… gonna make you have to wank in the men’s room._

_Fucking hell… I AM becoming a pervert._

_Say something._

_I don’t know how to talk to her._

_She hates me anyway…_

_Is she staring at me?_

Finn strained to see out of his periphery.

_She is… she’s staring… or is it glaring… yeah it’s glaring… she’s glaring at me, isn’t she?_

_Oh fuck…_

_What do I do?_

Finn’s whole body was already tense from her being near him and now he was somehow growing tenser. 

_What do I do?_

_Why does she hate me so much?_

_Why is she staring?_

_Oh fuck is there food on me face…_

_WHY IS SHE STARING?_

“Stop staring at me, it freaks me out.”

_What._

_The._

_Fuck._

_Did._

_You._

_Just._

_Say?_

_You fucking twat of gigantic-black-whole-sucking-the-hole-fucking-galaxy-into-its-depths, proportions!_

“I’m not staring at you.”  She snarled. 

“Right, whatever.”

_That was much better._

_But then, why wasn’t she staring at me?_

Finn didn’t really listen to Rae as she talked to Chop and the other lads, he was too busy being mortified at first what he had said and then second at his own ridiculous thoughts.  But he tuned in in time to hear Chop calling Rae one of the lads. 

_But she’s not…_

He sighed at himself.  But he saw her walking outside, looking dejected.

He was about to follow when he saw Chloe go after Rae.

_Probably for the best…_

 

*

 

That night wasn’t as fun as it could have been.  Rae hadn’t come cos she weren’t feeling well. 

Finn had left early.

He’d refused to wank.

 

*

 

Subsequently he woke up cranky the next morning and was cranky when he was talking to Chop at work the next morning. 

But Chop just snarked back at Finn with every grumpy comment he made. 

2 of the other mechanics came in talking and Finn tried not to hear what they were saying…

“There’s just something about it – you should do it.” 

“I dunno.”

“They got bigger tits, and the way their arses jiggle when you fuck ’em… fucking fat birds is the best.  And they’re easy pickings too.  Always grateful.”

“Aye, but she’s not as hot as Annie.”

“Yeah but Annie’s a marrying girl.  Sarah’s a shagging girl.” 

They both guffawed and Finn rolled his eyes.

“Everyone wants to fuck the fat girl, no one wants to date ‘em.”  Finn said and they both looked over.

“Exactly.”  The first guy said, “They’re better fucks than thin girls.”

“Then why not just be with the fat girl?”  Finn asked with a pissed off tone.  He could see Chop looking at him with a confused expression.  Finn didn’t usually talk to these 2 guys. 

“Cos they’re ugly, no one wants to look at it every day.”  He answered, “They just feel good and soft when you fuck ‘em.  And they’re so eager to please… suck dick like a fucking demon!”  He and his mate laughed.

“When you see a guy dating a fat bird, you know he’s got something wrong with him.”  The second guy said and the first guy nodded.

“Or he’s happy having the best sex of his life and doesn’t give a fuck what tossers like you think of him.”  Finn said, “And you 2 can feel proud with your trophy wives and shitty sex all you want… but the other guy’s happier.” 

“We got a chubby-chaser on our hands here.”

“Nah I just think you shouldn’t talk about any girl like that.”  Finn answered.

“Alright, alright, leave off.”  Chop put his hands up and the other 2 mechanics waved Finn off and went to work on a car at the other end of the garage.

Finn kept waiting for Chop to say something about what had just happened but he was silent for a long time. 

“Thinking of trying it on with Rae.”  Chop said softly and Finn looked up at him.

“You what?”

“D’you think Archie’ll mind.  I know he still wants to get that.”  Chop didn’t look up from his work.

“Don’t.”  Finn said firmly. 

“Aye you’re right, Archie still likes her… I should back off.”  Chop arched an eyebrow and Finn saw what he was implying even though he didn’t even hint at it with his words.

_Fuck…_

“You know, she’s your friend, you should…”  Finn shook his head.  “I dunno, stick up for her.” 

“She’s not like the girls they’re talking about.”  Chop said. 

“Yeah she is.”  Finn answered.

“I mean Rae’s not gonna just go with any lad.”  Chop said with a shrug.  “She’s just not.  Maybe someone who knows their music will prove himself good enough for our Rae-Rae.”  He said with a teasing tone. 

“Yeah.  Whatever.”  Finn said and out his head down to work. 

_I can’t like her this much.  I can’t._

_For 1 she hates me and for 2 I don’t even know her that well._

_Maybe… maybe…_

An idea came to Finn’s mind.  Maybe he could prove his music knowledge to her somehow.  Maybe that’d make her stop hating him so much.  Maybe he’d get to know her better then. 

_Leave off Finn!_

 

*

 

She was dressed like Chloe again.  Not with the make-up… but the clothes.

_I’m doing the music cos I want to, not cos I’m trying to prove anything to Rae…_

_I’m not into her._

_I don’t like her…_

_She looks like she’s not feeling well…_

_Ignore it and get on with it Nelson._

“Move up!”  He made Chop move over so he could sit opposite Rae.

_Fuck… why am I like this?_

_Stop it._

_Focus…_

_Music._

“Right, who's got any tune requests for the trip?”  Finn asked cheerily, “Because I am doing the tapes for the cars.”

_Why am I being so fucking cheery…?_

“Why are you doing them?”  Rae asked.

_Oh, she’s cranky today._

“I know the most about music.” 

_Fuck yeah – good move Finn – now you’ve got her interested… She’ll disagree, you’ll get into a playful contest about who-_

“You know about as much about music as my mum.”

_Ow… Fuck…_

Chop laughed and put a hand on Finn’s shoulder in commiseration. 

_That did not go as planned._

“Alright.”  Rae said crankily, “But under no circumstances, feature _‘Spaceman’_ by Babylon Zoo.”  She ordered.

“No Babylon Zoo.”  Finn said unimpressed.  “Thank you very much for sharing your in-depth knowledge of music with us, Rae, that's brilliant.”

_Got her back!  Now she’ll try to prove her musical knowledge and-_

“Such a prick.”  Rae grumbled. 

_Fuck… she really hates me… a whole lot more than I thought…_

Finn tried to look unaffected and Chop started to hand out the matching t-shirts he’d gotten everyone.

But when it got to Rae, she wasn’t impressed.  Chop leaned across the table to her. 

“What's up with you?”  Chop asked, “You alright?”

“No, I've…”  Finn tried not to listen so intently to what she was saying, “I've got a tummy ache.”

“Oh, damn.”  Chop was as sympathetic as Chop could be, “Better be ok for tomorrow.”  He told her.  “Like the shirt?  Why don't you try it on?”  He asked excitedly. 

“I dunno.”  She said softly. 

Finn was starting to get worried about her.  Something was really wrong. 

“Try it on!”  Chop insisted.

“Maybe I don't want to try it on!”  Rae retorted.

_Oh shit…  this isn’t gonna end well…_

“What's wrong with you?”  Chop whispered, “I told everyone that you was dead cool and that you were dead funny.  You've sat here all night with a right face on.”

“Well, maybe I can't win!  Maybe I just can't fucking win!”  She threw the shirt back at Chop.  “No matter how hard I try, I just can't get it right.  I don't even know why I bother!”  She grabbed her bag and headed into the bathroom, Chop watching her go.  But Finn kept his eyes forward as Chop looked to him for an answer.

_I wonder what’s wrong…?_

He couldn’t help but look towards the bathroom, worried. 

_Yeah… I really, really like this girl…_

“You guys should clear out.”  Finn said suddenly.  They were all awkwardly trying to figure out what to say. 

“But what about Rae?”  Chop asked.

“I’ll wait for her.”  Finn said with a shrug.  “She’s just not feeling well.”  He said to the other lads that didn’t know her as well as he and Chop did. 

“D’you reckon she’ll be alright for tomorrow?”  Chop asked.

“She’s Rae, of course she will!”  Finn answered.  And Chop grinned, satisfied by that answer.

“Yeah, that’s our Raemundo.”  Chop agreed.  “Alright lads, let’s leave Finn to it.”  He gave Finn a wink before getting up.  A wink that told Finn that Chop knew exactly what Finn felt for Rae.  

_Oh fuck… alright, there’s no point denying it anymore is there?  Even fucking Chop knows._

_So plan of action Finn – 1 wait here for her.  2 make sure she’s ok.  3 impress her with my musical knowledge.  4 get awesome girlfriend.  5 make out at Knebworth… an obscene amount of making out at Knebworth… yeah... good plan…_

But Rae was taking longer than he expected. 

_Patience Finn… She not feeling well…_

Several minutes passed while Finn worked on the list of songs he was going to do for the trip to Knebworth. 

_Still no sign o’ Rae…_

He looked towards the bathrooms, worrying even more for her…

And then he heard it.  The bell on the door.  And he saw Rae disappearing out the door.

_Oh shit…_

He saw the blood on her skirt and grabbed his things to get up and follow her. 

_Maybe she don’t want to talk to me right now – she bled through her pants… she probably just wants to go home…_

Finn hesitated by the door, shoving his things in his bag and putting his jacket on in an agony of indecision.

“Oh my God!”  He heard someone saying outside, further down the street.  “Jabba's got a jam stain!”

“I think I'm gonna be sick!  I genuinely think I'm gonna be sick.”

Finn wasn’t really listening to whatever that annoying voice was saying as he left the Chippie.  He’d decided to just go home and was heading towards his motorbike – the opposite way to which he knew Rae was going.  He’d decided that there was no way she wanted to see him right now.  He’d have other chances to impress her.  Today she just needed to be alone.

“Jabba's got a jam stain!”  The words started to pierce Finn’s thoughts.  “That's got to be the dirtiest thing I've ever seen.”  Finn turned to look down the street.  “You absolute scrubber.”  And there was Rae, 3 guys taunting her, but one of them was the loudest – the obvious ringleader.  “Scrubber!”

Finn had never moved so fast in his life.  He was furious.  He ran down the road.

No one talked to Rae like that. 

No one.

“Scrubber, scrubber, scrubber!”

“Scrubber-” Finn slammed his fist into the fuckhead’s face.  Finn took real delight in the feel of his fist crushing against his cheek, blood pouring from this arsehole’s mouth. 

Finn grabbed him by the shirt-front and slammed him into the wall

“What are you doing, you?”  He asked, the blood spitting from his mouth, terror all over his face.

“It's all right taking the piss out of a girl, isn't it?”  Finn yelled in his face, his fingers still gripping his shirt.  “Well, why don't you try taking the piss out of me?”  Finn pulled him forward and kneed him in the gut… not nearly as hard as he would have liked – he hardly made contact because of the way this arsehole was flailing about.  “Eh?  You apologise to her now or I will fucking curl you up, alright?”  He threatened, meaning every word of it, “Alright?”

“I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!”  The arsehole pleaded desperately.  Finn pulled him off the wall and threw him to the ground, his furious eyes falling on the other 2 fuckheads that had been taunting his Rae. 

“And that goes for you two twats, as well!”  He yelled at them.

“Sorry!”  They said as they ran off, the ring-leader staggering to his feet to join them.

He turned back to Rae and could see how stunned she looked.

_Shit… Say something Finn…_

“You alright?”  He asked her. 

She gave a nod, a slight smile coming to her shocked face. 

_She still just wants to go home.  Leave her be.  You did what had to be done, let her have some peace now._

He gave her a nod and turned back to his motorbike, his whole body alight with a flurry of emotions. 

 

*

 

Finn looked at the condom in his wallet.  He bit the inside of his mouth for a moment and then grabbed another one from his drawer and slipped it in there next to the other one.  And then another one.  He checked himself in the mirror and then double checked that he had the tapes for the car.

“Alright, you’re gonna win her over with your music credentials… then she’s gonna forget about Archie somehow… and make out with you in the mosh-pit… and maybe…”  He looked at his wallet again.  He grabbed a fourth condom – just in case. 

He looked down at the slight grazing on his knuckles and grinned.  It had felt good smashing that arsehole for Rae.  Hopefully she’d thought about it last night… maybe she hated him a little less now.  That’s not why he did it, but it would be a cool side effect if it had lessened her hatred of him. 

Maybe she’d wanked over it like he had… he’d fantasised about her kissing him in gratitude. 

_Leave off Finn.  Play it cool and-_

_That’s a thought… do girls wank…?_

He took a deep breath to still his mind and looked in the mirror again, his stomach doing backflips.  This was it.  This was his chance to really win Rae over. 

_I’m not even trying to pretend anymore am I?_

He laughed at himself.

_Oh, I got it bad… she owns me alright…_

He took another deep breath and headed out the door. 

 

*

 

“I’ll drive, it’s alright.”  Finn said. 

They’d been arguing about it because the drivers had to drink less – so no one wanted to do it.

“Where are we putting everyone?”  Barney said. 

A huge fight broke out over the seating arrangements.  Finn subtly said that Rae should shotgun in the car he was driving.  But Chop caught it and since he’d paid for most of the trip, his vote was worth 3 times everyone else’s.  He had his mate’s back.

And when Rae got there, he told her with a cheery voice that she was in Barney’s car with Finn. 

Finn tried to play it cool and took a swig of beer, joining in with the general banter and excitement. 

“Hiya.”  Rae said to him. 

He tried to keep the smile off his face.  It was the first time she’d just said hi to him like that.  Maybe she did hate him less now. 

_Play it cool Finn… if you’re too eager she’ll get turned off._

He took a deep drag of his cigarette.

“Alright?”  He asked.

_Nailed it._

“How’s your hand?”  She asked, her eyes dropping to his hand, then going back to his face.

Finn had never felt more masculine and strong in his life.  The way she looked at him.  He couldn’t put it into words – but it did things to him. 

_Play it the fuck cool Nelson._

“I’ll live.”  He said, looking at it, giving her a slight smile.

“Thanks.” 

That sent butterflies through his whole body. 

_Don’t let her know how much you dig her yet.  She’s still got a thing for Archie and she’s only just starting to not hate you… go slow, go easy… play it cool._

He shrugged.

“Anyone would have done the same thing, you know.”  He answered. 

_This is going well – you’re doing well Finn…_

_Oh shit... this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had…_

“No, they wouldn’t.”  She answered sagely. 

_Oh fuck… she knows… she knows you have 4 condoms in your wallet and you’re hoping to shag her 4 times at Knebworth… fuck…_

But Chop was talking, so Finn got to look away and listen to Chop without having to address what she’d said.  His heart hammering in his chest. 

_She doesn’t know… she’s just thinking you’re a good guy…_

_Oh fuck, she thinks I’m a good guy… but she’s gonna find out I’m just an ordinary guy…_

_You got your music knowledge to fall back on Finn… it’ll be alright._

_Fuck…_

_This girl…_

_She flusters me… She… vexes me._

_Vexes?  Is that even a fucking word?  It don’t sound real.  Vex?  Yeah vex is a word.  Oh fucking hell Finn… you’re so vexed… and flustered._

_Calm the fuck down.  You got a plan.  It’s a good plan.  By the end of this day, that gorgeous girl is gonna be your girlfriend.  If the plan goes off without a hitch, and you can keep your nerve…_

He snuck a look at Rae…

_She’s so perfect._

He finally let himself think what he’d refused to let himself think previously. 

And when she sat down in the car next to him, he couldn’t help but give a crooked smile. 

He liked this. 

A lot.

And now was the time to begin his plan. 

He put the music on, and the opening notes of _‘Spaceman’_ By Babylon Zoo played. 

He looked up to see her giving him a dirty look. 

“What?”  He asked innocently.  He loved the look she was giving him.  It was playful, teasing.  Finally, the games had begun and he could wow her with his music credentials and playful arguing.  “Listen, I’m expecting marks out of ten for each tune, by the way.”  He told her, barely able to keep the smirk from his face.

_This is going perfect._

“Yeah, well, it's a zero for starters.”  She said.

_She’s so perfect._

“I thought this was your favourite song?”  Somehow, he managed to keep a straight face.  Even when she frowned at him, unimpressed.  But then she grinned, and the grin came to his face.

_A connection…_

His insides were buzzing.

_Watch the road you fucking twat._

_This is gonna be the best fucking day of me life!_

“Stop.”  She said suddenly.

“What?”

_What?  Why?  WHAT?  NO!_

“Stop the car.”  She sounded reluctant but resolute. 

Finn brought the car to a standstill, expecting perhaps a prank or something. 

But she got out.

_What the fucking fuck is going on?_

She leaned back into the window and handed him her beer.

_Ask her to get back in the car._

Finn was about to speak but-

“I have to be with Chloe.  It’s real important.”  Was all she said.  And then she was gone, walking back down the road to Chloe. 

Finn hesitated. 

_But…_

“Come on Finn.”  Barney urged and Finn left.

There was nothing else he could do.

 

*

 

The music had been great.

Of course.

The company had been barely ok without Rae.

As expected.

Finn had been grumpy and had drunk far too much.

Couldn’t be helped.

Once he’d gotten fairly drunk, he’d had an alright time.  But it could have been better.

He woke up the next morning in the gutter with vomit on his chest and a splitting headache. 

He had no idea where he was.

_This was not how I had planned this…_

He staggered to his feet.

_I was s’posed to be waking up next to Rae… after shagging…_

It took him an hour to navigate his way back to the cars.  Another 3 hours for everyone to show up.  During that time, his hangover had eased and he’d been able to muster up a tolerable mood.  

 

*

 

But he got home to bad news.

“Finn?”

“Yeah da?”  He said as he came in, dumping his bag near the door. 

“You’re back then?”

“Yeah da.”  Finn answered, trying to curb his impatience.

“Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah it were alright.”

“Good.  Good, well… Your grandma… she’s sick again.” 

“Sick how?”  Finn asked, alarmed.

“She had a bit of a fall-”

“Not again.”

“- They said her hip’s broken.”

“Fuck…”

“Language Finn.”

“Right.  Yeah, sorry da.”  He said, distracted.  “I’m gonna have a shower and go see her.”

“Good idea.”

“I’ll go to football practice after.”  He added.

“You coming home for dinner?”

“Aye.”

 

*

 

Finn hated this place.

The past year it felt like his gran had been in here more than she hadn’t been. 

He supposed he should go see his mother soon too.  After all, his gran was her mother.  His dad’s parents were both already dead.  They’d died in a car crash when his dad had been just 17. 

But his grandparents on his mother’s side were both still alive.  Although his grandfather had dementia and never remembered anyone now.  He lived with Finn’s mum now.  She had a nurse come in and help with his care.

But his gran had wanted to stay in her own home – independent. 

Besides his dad, his gran was the best family member Finn had – she helped raise him after Finn’s mum had decided that she was too young to have a kid and had taken off to go partying in the Mediterranean somewhere.  She was trying to make it up to him now, but Finn was fairly resistant to her.  Only his gran’s wishes made him see his mother at all. 

‘Forgive your mother her foolish mistakes made in youth.  You’ll make many yourself, and want forgiveness for them.’  His gran was always saying stuff like that to him.

“Hey gran, you alright?”  He said as he went into the room, he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before sitting down.  “Tell me everything that’s going on.”  He added.

“Oh I’m fine, how are you?”  She asked, deeply concerned for his welfare – she always was.

“I’m great.”  He nodded towards her, “Done your hip in hey?  Dancin’ at all them wild parties?”  he teased.

“Oh Finn!”  She chuckled but her chuckle turned into a cough.

“That don’t sound good.”  He furrowed his brows.

“Oh, they say I’ve got a bit of a cold.  Nothing to worry about.”  She reassured him.  “So have you got a girlfriend yet?”  She asked.

“Not yet gran.”  Finn answered with a small grin.  His grandmother was very invested in his future, and finding someone to love was part of that in her eyes.

“Or a boyfriend?”  She asked making Finn’s eyebrows pop up in surprise.  “It’s more acceptable nowadays isn’t it?”  She asked, “But you know, my brother always fancied boys.  Fancied the one boy in particular, I daresay he was head over heels in love with him…  But, he married a girl.  As was expected of him.  He was miserable his whole life.”  She looked at him with her keen eyes, “I don’t want that for you.” 

“Thanks gran.”  Finn was reassured for some reason.  “But I’m into girls… into one girl actually.” 

“Oh yes?”  She asked, a smile coming to her lips.  “Tell me about her?”

“She likes music.”

“She’ll be good for you then.”

“She’s real funny… makes me laugh.”

“Then I can’t wait to meet her.”  Finn heard that tone in her voice; she’d been worried that Finn wasn’t happy for a long time. 

“I don’t think she likes me that way though.”

“Oh rubbish.”

“Nah, I were real stand-offish at first… I were trying not to like her.”  He admitted. 

“Well apologise and move on, young man.”  His gran more ordered than advised.

“Yes gran.”  Finn said with a warm smile. 

“The world would be a much better place if we could just admit when we were wrong and apologise.”  She added.

“You’re right.”  He agreed. 

“I hope you’re wooing this girl properly?  Not rushing it?”  She asked and Finn thought of the 4 condoms in his wallet.

“Aye…”  He lied. 

“Good.  Young ladies deserve proper respect Finn Nelson.”  His gran said firmly.

“Aye.”  He agreed. 

_Better slow down… just a little…_

“Bring her to meet me when you finally woo her.”  His gran said with a confident smile.  She knew he’d win this girl’s heart eventually. 

“Will do, gran.”  He promised. 

 

*

 

“Alright, who’s skins, who’s shirts?”  Barney asked and they all started to get into teams to play a practice match.

“Finn you’re with me!”  Patrick said, throwing his shirt towards the sideline.

“Yeah alright.”  He said, starting to take his shirt off, ready to start play – he could do with a good aggressive game; work out some of the tension he was feeling. 

He looked up just as he was finished pulling his shirt off.

_Fuck…_

He saw Rae walking in the opposite direction.  Like she’d seen him and turned-tail.

_I gotta fix this shit between us._

He decided instantly. 

“RAE!” 

He ran over to her, glad that she was willing to turn back to him, willing to see him, to hear what he had to say.

_Fuck… what am I gonna say?_

_Sorry Rae, I was trying to make myself not like ya so much, so I was a bit of a grumpy twat…_

_Fuck…_

_I’m sorry that I wank 5 times a day thinking of different ways to shag you, girl… it makes me a little… stiff… when I’m around ya – I’m afraid you’ll just… know… what I do to you in me head…_

_Oh fucking hell Finn…_

“What are you doing here?”

_Alright, try not to sound so fucking excited to see her._

“I just came for a walk.”

_She’s so perfect…_

_At least she didn’t look unhappy to see me, like she usually does.  That’s good._

Finn tried not to grin at the fact that she seemed to be hating him less and less. 

He looked down to hide his happiness.  He knew he couldn’t look too eager. 

“Just keeping it real, keeping it busy.” 

She was still talking… but…

_Oh my fucking god, I’m half naked._

_I’m half naked in front of my perfect girl._

_Fuck…_

_Fuck…_

_Alright she doesn’t seem completely repulsed so…_

_It’s alright._

_It’s not alright._

Finn tried not to be too obvious as he crossed his arms over his stomach self-consciously. 

He found that he couldn’t look her in the eye while he was half naked like this… he was too embarrassed. 

“Real busy.”  Rae nodded.

_I’ve never been embarrassed about me body afore._

_What is going on with me?_

_Fuck…_

“So how was Knebworth, then?”  She asked. 

“Crap.”  Finn answered honestly.

_Cos you weren’t there.  And me whole plan didn’t happen.  You’re s’posed to be me girlfriend now…_

_Slow it down Finn… respect a young lady…_

_Get them fucking condoms out ya wallet…_

“Liar.”  She shot back at him.

“I were gutted you couldn't come.”  He said honestly.

But Rae just looked down without saying anything.

_Was that too honest...?  Too soon…?_

_How do I do this wooing thing?_

“Finn… I wanted to tell you something.”

_Fuck yes!  We’re starting to talk.  Alright… tell her you’re sorry – fix this rift thing between ya – do it now afore you lose your nerve!_

“I wanted to talk to you too, actually.”

_Alright, good start lad…_

_Slow down a little, but…_

_Now what do I say?_

_Fuck…_

_Don’t panic…_

_SHE VEXES ME!_

_I can fucking do this – just speak._

“Look, I'm sorry I was a bit of a dick when we first met.”

_Yes good._

“I just… I got you wrong, I guess.”

_Wait… is this what you wanna say?_

“I didn't know you were sound.”

_Alright… that’s ok… you ended on a strong note.  Now she knows you think she’s sound._

_Good._

_We’ll ignore that awkward fucking laugh you did…_

_Shit…_

_She flusters me so fucking much…_

“Finn!”  Someone from the field called to him and he looked back at them.

_Not now ya fucking twats…_

_Shit…_

He looked back at Rae.

“Anyway, look, I'd better go.”  He said reluctantly. 

_Alright, now seal the deal Finn._

_Wait… wooing – do I kiss her hand or…?_

_Nah fuck it – go in for the hug…_

_Do it now before you lose your nerve._

_Oh and I’m in… I’m holding her._

_Fuck she smells good…_

_And her boobs…_

_Don’t think about her boobs._

_Oh, she’s not hugging me back._

_Oh, you’ve fucked up Nelson…_

_HAHAHAHA!!!  YES!!!!  HER HAND IS ON MY BACK!!!_

Finn was practically screaming in excitement in his head as he ran back to the game.

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

“Is that your girlfriend?”  One of the guys teased.

“Not yet.”  Finn answered with a smirk. 

 

*

 

When he got home there was a letter in the post box.

Pink paper.

It was addressed to him. 

_What’s this?_

He opened it up and read it.

_Oh my god, it’s from her…_

_It’s not from her, it’s on pink paper… she’s not a pink sort of a girl…_

_Maybe she’s put it on pink to throw you off…_

_Maybe she is a pink sort of a girl and she’s just hiding that part of herself away from the world?_

_It’s not from Rae._

Finn smelled it.  it smelled pretty good.  But not-

_It don’t even smell like her._

_It’s some… perfume…_

_It’s not from Rae.  Get that shite outta your head._

_Oh fuck, then who is it from?_

_Who cares?  If it’s not from Rae…_

“Ugh.”  

 

*

 

“Why are you so grumpy today?”  Chop asked as he bought some smokes.

“I’m not.”  Finn answered, “I’m in a good mood.”

“Alright.”  Chop answered, clearly not believing him.

“Me gran… She’s sick again.” 

“Is she gonna be alright?”

“Yeah probably.”  Finn said, “It’s just her hip, you know.  And a bit of a flu or something.” 

“Well nothing that the pub won’t fix.”

“Aye.”  Finn agreed with nod of the head. 

They headed to the pub and Chloe was already waiting for them.  Chop went up to the bar and Finn stood opposite Chloe.  

_She’s Rae’s best friend… she’d know if it were from Rae._

“Hey look what I got.”  He handed Chloe the anonymous love letter.  She hesitated for a moment before taking it, her face slightly pink.

_Why’s she blushing?  She knows!  She knows it’s from Rae!  I’ve put her in an awkward position where she can’t tell me it’s from Rae!_

_Fuck… it’s from Rae!_

_I knew it!_

_Chloe must’ve helped her write it our something – told her to put it on pink paper and use the perfume…_

“Who d’you reckon sent it?”  Finn asked, trying not to sound too interested.

_I know she can’t tell me it were Rae… but maybe she’ll hint._

_It’s not Rae…_

_Then why’d Chloe blush huh?  It’s Rae!_

“I dunno.”  Chloe shrugged. 

_Well that was pointless…_

_At least when Rae gets here I can finally – FINALLY – get to the business of proving my music knowledge to her._

_And get another hug._

He suddenly grinned, leaving Chloe wondering what was so amusing. 

 

*

 

But things did not go as planned.

He’d tried to hug Rae again, and she’d refused, going off with Archie instead. 

_OK… so maybe the hugging was a bad idea._

_And she definitely still likes Archie._

_Fuck._

_How do I fix this?_

_I thought we were doing so well…_

_We talked.  We hugged._

_We’re s’posed to be solid now._

_Why does nothin’ ever go the way it’s s’posed to with Rae?_

_She vexes me._

_There has never been, and I’m pretty sure there never will be, a girl in me life I want as much as her._

_Fuck._

_Fuck… do I… do I love her?_

_No._

_No – I don’t know her well enough._

_Fuck this…_

_You know what, I’m gonna call da and see if gran’s alright._

_Actually… might call mum instead._

“Ugh.”  He sighed out loud.

He knew he had to call her, but he knew what a drama it’d be. 

He used the payphone near the toilets and dialled her number. 

“Hey ma, how’s-?”

“Finally!”  She sounded exasperated, “Did it never occur to you that I might want to talk to you sooner?  My mother is in the hospital!”

“Aye I know.”

“Well she’s just your grandmother, it doesn’t matter as much to you.”

_Hold your tongue Finn…_

“But for me, this is very distressing!  I needed some comfort!  And where have you been?  Nowhere!”

“Yeah, I’m sorry ma.  Look, how is she?”

“Oh she’s fine.”  She answered, “But I am very upset.”

“Alright ma, thanks for the update.”

“You’re going already?”

“Aye I’m at work.  No time to talk.”  He lied and hung up before she had chance to say anything else. 

_That was as fun as ever._

He headed back to the gang.

_Right… so how am I gonna get Rae to stop lusting after Archie?  He’s gay – he’s not gonna benefit from her… lust…_

Finn took a deep breath when he saw her, her arms crossed, standing, talking with the gang.

_Fuck I want her._

“Here he is, the big knobhead.”  Chop said with a big grin as Finn approached.

“What?”  He asked, trying to be nonchalant.

_Stop staring at Rae._

He made himself look away. 

“So, Raemundo, a little birdie tells me you've got an empty.”  Chop said and Finn couldn’t help but look back at Rae.

_She’s all alone in that house…_

“Chop!”  Chloe hit Chop.

_Stop staring at Rae!_

“What?  I didn't tell her who told me.”  Chop answered Chloe before looking back to Rae.

_Look down, don’t think about going over to her house tonight and… doing all sorts of dirty things neither of ya have ever heard of, let alone done before…_

“Anyway, you know what I'm thinking?”  Chop said eagerly. 

“No, no parties.”  Rae refused him.

_Aye, unless it’s an exclusive party – just the 2 of us, girl…_

_How can I make that happen?_

“I'm not talking any old party.”  Chop said, trying to be tantalising.  “I'm talking a sexy party.”

“What's a sexy party?”  Finn asked, not sure he liked the sound of that.  That might mean that Rae got sexy with other people, and not him. 

“It's exactly the same as a normal party, but everyone brings sleeping bags and no-one asks any questions in the morning.”  Chop explained. 

“Oh, so it's basically like a sleepover, yeah?”  Finn said, at first unimpressed, but then realising that there was a good chance he and Rae might be able to sneak off together during ‘sexy party.’

_In her room, the door locked, the music thumping downstairs…_

_Undressing each other - me hands all over her…_

_What would I do first… try an’ get it in her?_

“Can I borrow a duvet, Rae, cos I haven't got a sleeping bag.”  Izzy asked.

_Nah… I’d eat that cunt till I were blue in the face… I’d need some fucking scuba gear, cos I ain’t coming back up for days.  Weeks…_

_I wanna lick her all over – every fucking inch o’ that body needs my tongue on it._

“Oh, no, cos we're not having a party, sexy or otherwise.”  Rae asserted.

_I’d fuck her so long and hard there’d be nothing left of either of us but an indent in the bed filled with sweat and cum…_

“Oh, my God, Finn, show everyone your love letter.”  Chloe said bringing Finn out if his fantasy.  He realised he’d been starting at Rae very intently. 

“Huh?”  He asked Chloe, trying to get an idea of what she’d said – cos he had no idea.  He hadn’t been paying attention at all to what was being said. 

“Oh, who's that?”  Chop asked in an amused tone. 

“Finn's got an admirer.”  Chloe teased.

_Oh fuck.  Why would Chloe do this?_

Finn groaned internally, looking away.

_But maybe Chloe’s doing it so I can check Rae’s reactions!_

_See her blush._

“What?”  Rae said among the general teasing from the others.

“Let's see it.”  Izzy demanded with a big grin on her face. 

_Oh fuck, alright then… let’s do this!_

He held it out, hoping Rae would take it, but Izzy was the one who reached for it, so she handed it to her. 

“Pink.”  Izzy mused as she opened the letter.  “Dear Finn,” She read out loud.

_Don’t make it obvious you’re looking at Rae…_

Finn tried to play it cool, looking down and only looking up to steal glances at Rae.

“You are so fit and lovely.”  Izzy continued to read the letter with a huge grin on her face.

_Finn felt bubbling heat in his stomach.  Like the wings of a thousand butterflies, all ablaze with desire._

_But Rae’s expression was… not what he had expected.  She wasn’t blushing…_

_She looked more… annoyed… than anything._

“I want to make you mine.”  Izzy was clearly impressed by the love letter, “Love from… X.”

“Ooh!”  They teased Finn.

But not Rae.

“Who would even send a love letter?  That is so stupid.”  She said.

Finn felt crushed… like a fucking avalanche had dropped from his chest and literally flattened all the butterflies that had been in his stomach.

_Well fuck._

“It's franked from Lincolnshire, so it must be a local girl.”  Archie said, interested in the mystery.

Finn didn’t care now.  It wasn’t Rae.

_She really don’t like me._

“But all letters are stamped ‘Lincolnshire’ if that's where they're delivered.”  Rae said, rolling her eyes. 

“What?”  Archie asked, an awkward gin on his face, “Letters are stamped where they're sent from, not sent to.”  But Rae stared at him silently.  “You're not serious?”  He asked, “You're 16 years old and you think letters are stamped where they're sent to?”

“It's what my mum said.”  Rae said with a shrug.

_Now I can’t even tell when she’s being serious or not…_

_I’m never gonna know her like I want…_

_She’s a mystery._

_She vexes me._

_Hey… that means she MIGHT have sent the letter – if I can never tell when she’s being serious…_

“I'm joking.”  Rae suddenly said and they all laughed. 

_That’s my girl._

_She’s so funny._

_Yeah… I think I love her…_

 

*

 

It had been a good evening, lots of laughter, and he’d managed to sit next to Rae for most of it. 

He’d gone home and wanked twice before he’d managed to settle in for sleep. 

Both times he’d imagined her naked.  The first time he’d been on top, kissing her, thrusting in to her.  And the second time, she’d been on top, rolling her hips, sliding his cock in and out of her, while he ran his hands all over her. 

Both times he’d come hard and far too quick. 

His only regret for the night had been that Rae wasn’t going to let them have the ‘sexy party.’

Because both of his little fantasies happened at the sexy party, the gang downstairs, knowing what they were up to – or at least guessing. 

 

*

 

The next morning, Finn was greeted with some good news: The sexy party was on!

Finn spent the morning in a frenzy of sorting out his CDs and tapes.

“Gotta find just the right ones…”  He said, going through everything.

In the end, he just ended up taking a huge bag filled with stuff.  He hadn’t been able to narrow it down to just a handful of discs and tapes, so there was no other way. 

_Gotta prove me musical knowledge.  Fucking finally.  I been trying to do this since fucking Knebworth!_

He grabbed his sleeping bag and a change of clothes, a pillow… and then he caught sight of himself in the mirror. 

_Fuck… why does she always look so good and I always look like I just crawled outta bed._

He tried smoothing out his hair and smelled his armpits.

_Alright, shower time… maybe I can wear that new jacket?  Yeah.  Good idea Finn._

 

*

 

Finn was filled with expectations and excitement when he rocked up to her house.  The whole gang was there, filled with excitement for the party.

He watched Chop blow past her happily.  She hugged Archie, Chloe, Izzy.

_Here it comes!_

“Alright Rae!”  He said, grinning broadly.  He couldn’t stop himself grinning. 

Finn tried not to notice how good she looked in red – how it brought out her eyes and her hair and her skin.

He tried to quell the butterflies in his stomach.  He was determined to get this hugging thing sorted out. 

“Give us a hug.”  He said with a big grin, eager to feel her pressed up against him again.  She smelled nice and he couldn’t wait to smell her again.

But she pulled back.

_Why?  WHY?_

“No.”  Her hand was on his chest pushing him back.  “I've got a no-hugging policy.”

_What is this?_

_Why is this?_

“You just hugged Archie.”  Finn wanted an explanation. 

_She loves Archie, don’t she?_

“Yeah, I just implemented it in the last few seconds.”  She answered.

_What?  WHAT?_

She pulled a face at him and he matched it, not sure what else to do. 

Finn walked off towards the lounge room, trying to get his head around all of this. 

Archie was already making himself at home and Finn took a look at the CDs on the corner shelf, grabbing a beer, smiling at the My Little Pony… he could imagine Rae as a child playing with that. 

_Cute…_

He turned to see where Rae was.  In the kitchen.  Despite the rocky start, he was as determined as ever to finally prove his music knowledge and get this relationship off the ground. 

_Don’t wanna step on your toes…_

He practiced what he was gonna say in his head over and over.

“Cheers.”  Archie clinked his beer can against Finn’s.  Finn grinned and started saying cheers to everyone. 

_Tonight is gonna be so good._

HE settled back in to look at the CDs.

“Everyone,” Rae was saying something and Finn looked up, “I've, um got to nip out for a bit.”  She told them.  “So don't trash the place.”

_What, where’s she going?_

“What?”  Archie asked, “Where are you going?”

_Why is Arche so good at speaking?_

_Maybe that’s why she liked him?_

“Um…”  Rae said softly.

“She's got to go to her uncle's.”  Chloe interjected.  “Get some more booze.”

“Sweet.”  Archie said.

“Sweet.”  Finn agreed.

“Have fun!  Chop grinned.

Rae started to leave while everyone chatted happily.

_Here’s your chance to set the tone for the night lad._

“Here y'are, Rae-Rae.”  He said as he jumped up eagerly. 

_Rae-Rae?_

_Oh Finn, what have you done?_

_It’s alright, follow your plan._

_Play it cool._

“I've got some tunes here that you might not have.”  He said opening his bag, filled with CDs.

“Right, just stick them by the rest of the CDs then.”  She sounded so disinterested. 

_It’s alright, you can still reel her in Finn._

“But I don't step on your toes music-wise.  I know how you like to think you have that superior knowledge of music and all that.”  He teased gently, looking forward to getting one of her verbal barbs in return.  He wanted to rise her blood, get them competing about music… bond over their love of music… it seemed pretty fucking romantic to him.  And exciting. 

“Yeah, right.  Whatever.”  She really was completely disinterested.

Finn felt his face fall.

_Oh fuck… this isn’t good…_

“I've gotta go.”  Rae said

“Right…” Finn said, trying to wrap his head around what happened, “See you later, buddy.”  He added, feeling his hopes of making her his girlfriend starting to slip away from him.  Again.

But after a few minutes he rallied himself.

_Nah, you can still save this Finn… I’ve seen it… I’ve felt it – there’s something between us… chemistry.  I just gotta… I just gotta get at it somehow._

He started to sort through the music, deciding to make the playlist for the entire party.

About 20 minutes later, people started showing up.  Finn knew that Chop had invited a few other people… but Finn was concerned that maybe this was more than Rae would be comfortable with. 

Still, he focussed on the music before he settled down on the lounge with the gang.

Chloe sat down next to him and Izzy and Archie settled in on the other sofa while Chop saw to letting people in. 

Finn wiped his palms on his pants and started to think about the plan for tonight. 

It was really starting to get busy and Finn knew Rae was going to be unhappy about this.  He was just thinking of how he might soothe and comfort her when someone they didn’t know came and sat with them.

_Ugh, not another new person._

Finn tried not to sigh and just stared off instead of involving himself in the introductions. 

“Name’s Danny.”  He said confidently.  Too confidently in Finn’s opinion. 

“I’m Izzy.”

“Archie.”

“And that’s Chloe and Finn.”  Izzy added.

“Howdy dowdy.”  Danny said and then laughed.  There was an awkward silence.  “So…” 

“So…”  Archie said, clearing his throat.  “You know Rae?”  He asked.

“I do.”  Danny said with a big grin, nodding his head sagely.  “I know her biblically.”  He intimated and Archie and Chloe shared a confused look. 

_Biblically?  What the fuck does that mean?_

_I didn’t know Rae were religious…_

“If you know what I mean.”  Danny said suggestively and then gave Finn a little wink.

_Wait… what just happened?_

_If I know what what means?_

Finn just stared at Danny silently, waiting for him to explain himself. 

“What’s that mean?”  He heard Chloe say to herself.

“What d’you mean.”  Of course it was Izzy who asked. 

“Just that she was me girlfriend.”  Danny said, “Broke me heart when she dumped me.  But we’re friends again now.”  He said with a happy-go-lucky shrug.  “I’m hoping she’ll take me back.  She’s amazing… and the sex…”  He made a loud whooping noise to indicate how amazing it was. 

Finn narrowed her eyes.

_So this is the type of lad she likes…_

_And… And she’s already experienced…_

_Oh god, he’s explaining in detail…_

Finn tried not to listen and Danny started to explain about some of the incredible sex they used to have. 

He knew he was stewing in it.  He tried not to, but he could feel his mood worsening. 

_I nearly shagged Stacey, I got no right to be pissed off about this Danny fella._

_She’s not me girl, no matter how much I want her to be…_

_And really, she’s making it pretty clear that I got no chance ._

_And if this is the fella she goes for… I ain’t nothin’ like him… I don’t got a chance._

Finn’s heart dropped with that realisation. 

He zoned out, completely not hearing what was being said.  He barely realised he was just staring at Danny as he spoke, his fingers automatically making a cigarette. 

And then she was there.

_She does not look happy to see him._

And suddenly Finn’s mood picked up a little.  He still wasn’t in a good mood, but at least Danny wasn’t welcome – it looked unlikely that they’d be getting back together. 

“Danny?”

“Oh, here she is!”  Danny gave her a big grin.  “I've been telling everybody about when we were going out, you know.”

Finn looked up to see the look on Rae’s face – she was not happy. 

“Our romantic break in Staffordshire.”  Danny was saying. 

“You did what?”  Rae asked almost angrily. 

_She hates this…_

_She’s private about that sort o’ thing I guess…_

“Anyway, like I said, even though we bought a two-day pass for Alton Towers, we didn't really want to leave the hotel room.  I've still never been on the Corkscrew.”  Danny said and Rae looked like she might throttle him, but was trying to smile. 

_I wouldn’t mind 2 days alone in a hotel room with her…_

_I’d fucking create a sex move called the corkscrew…_

_It’s kinda sexy that she’s experienced.  She can teach me a thing or two._

“Rae, that is so wild!”  Izzy said happily. 

“Good… good times.”

_But he’s a bit weird isn’t he?_

_Something about the way he carried himself…_

_I wonder why she dumped him.  and what they was like together…_

Chloe got up and dragged Rae off. 

_I’m guessing Rae hadn’t told Chloe about this then…_

_He watched them for a moment as Danny kept talking._

“Next thing I know, we were at reception and she said, ‘can you keep the noise down a bit? We've had complaints from next door.’”  Danny laughed. 

Finn tried to focus on his cigarette as Danny continued. 

“I said to just turn the TV up,” Danny said merrily, “or just enjoy the park, like the rest of the people who do it, know what I mean-?”  And then Rae was there dragging him off angrily. 

Finn almost cracked a smile. 

“D’you think they’re gonna get back together?”  Izzy said and Archie shrugged.  “I hope so – I love love!”  She grinned. 

Finn chewed away at the inside of his mouth as he tried not to watch them talking. 

He found himself getting up to his feet.

_I am not getting up to see what’s happening with Rae and Danny…_

_I am not walking over here to… to talk to this girl so Rae will see me talking to a girl._

_Oh and she’s talking to me…_

_Alright Finn, put on the smile and charm – find out her name – make sure Rae sees you talking to her… mention her by name to Rae later on…see if Rae gets jealous._

_You’re a genius Nelson._

_I wonder how gran’s going… I don’t like the sound of that cough she’d got._

He looked up and saw Rae standing alone. 

“Rae, mind if I use your phone to ring home?”  He asked her.

“There's one in my mum's room.”  Rae answered. 

“I'm going to freshen up,”  Chloe appeared, “so I'll show you where it is.”

She took his wrist to guide him out of the room and Finn looked down at her hand and then back to Rae.

He’d kind of hoped Rae would tell him where the phone was so they could get some talking in.

He followed Chloe up the stairs, thinking about a conversation he’d had with Archie earlier on today.

_I wonder if the love letter was from Chlo, like Archie said?_

_That’s kinda awkward for both of us…_

_But we’ve been flirting for months, so why do that?_

He noticed how slowly she was walking up the stairs, as if giving him enough time to check her out. 

But Finn looked down at his shoes and stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

“It’s in there.”  Chloe said, “And I’ll just be in here.”  She said, an eyebrow arching almost suggestively.  But she quickly closed the door as if she were nervous, or regretted that hint of suggestion, or doubted herself. 

Finn shrugged it off and went into Rae’s mum’s room, closing the door behind him.

He called his dad.

“Hey da, any news about gran?”  He asked.  He knew that his grandmother would never tell him the full truth of her health.  But he could always rely on his dad to tell him.

“It’s not the flu, it’s pneumonia.”  He answered and Finn felt a huge weight collapse onto his chest. 

“I better get out to the hospital.”  Finn said in a worried voice.

“There’s no point son – visitation hours are over.”  He answered, “But you get out there first thing tomorrow morning.”

“I will da.”

“And give her a call before she goes to sleep tonight – you know how she likes that.”

“I will.”

“And don’t let this stop you having fun tonight.  She’d bet the first to tell you how important it is to enjoy the blessings of youth.”

“Yeah I know.”  Finn said, trying not to sound as ad as he was. 

“She’ll be fine – she’s a tough old bird… she’ll be back on her feet in no time.”  He said bracingly.

“Yeah.”  Finn tried to agree, but he had butterflies in his stomach – the bad kind of butterflies.

“I love you son.”  He said and then took a deep breath, “Have fun, but be safe.”

“Yes dad.”

“Don’t get too drunk.”

“I won’t.”

“Try not to do drugs… and if you going to do them-”

“I’m not gonna do drugs.”  Finn rolled his eyes.

“And use a condom.”

“Yes dad.”  Finn realised he’d taken the condoms out of his wallet… but then he didn’t suppose he had a chance with Rae tonight anyway.  She was being a bit stand-offish to him, and now her ex-boyfriend was here… it was a bit of a mess. 

“Is that girl you like at this party.”

“Yeah.”  He was so glad he wasn’t talking to his dad face to face right now – if he was, then this talk would be a lot longer than it was going to be. 

“Well give it your best shot with her.”  He advised, “It’s better to make a fool of yourself and know the outcome, then never try and never know for fear of making a fool of yourself.” 

“Thanks dad.  I gotta go… and give it my best shot.”  He said before his father could impart any more wisdom on him. 

“Alright son,  have fun and-”

“Be safe.”  Finn finished his sentence.  “Love you da.”  He hung up before his dad could say anything more.

He sat there for a moment longer, just staring at the wall, thinking about Rae. 

There were so many things about her that didn’t make any sense.

Bailing during the sex talk made her look like a virgin… but then this Danny guy.

And she was seeming to be more friendly… and now she was distant.

And her insistence that she knew music the best… but now she didn’t seem to care. 

He scrunched up his face in frustration for a moment.

“She vexes me.”  He said to the room and took a deep breath. 

_But I’ll give it me best shot._

He got up and headed back downstairs.

The part was pretty good and he enjoyed himself even though he didn’t get much chance to talk to Rae – she seemed to be ignoring him, or avoiding him.

But later on a game of spin the bottle was started up and he finally got the chance to sit down next to her. 

“Right, right,” Chop said, “we'll have a couple of rounds of normal spin the bottle, just as a warm-up.  Then we can spice things up a bit.” 

Everyone seemed to think that was funny, but Rae looked a bit put out. 

So Finn decided to try and get her laughing.  He scooted closer to her, feeling a tingle of excitement – he was going to go for it – he was going to give it his best shot. 

_Get her laughing, get into her pants before the end of the night._

_Finn!_

_Don’t forget the wooing thing…_

_Right… get into her bra by the end of the night and hold off on the getting into her pants for… a week…? Or two…?_

“You know he only organises things like this so he can get off with someone, don't you?”  He said as he opened his beer can.  But she didn’t reply.  “Rae?”  He really wanted her to hear this – she’d laugh, he’d laugh, he’d lean in close to her and keep talking, ignoring the game… until…

_I’m gonna kiss her._

He felt butterflies in his stomach – the good kind. 

But she didn’t here him again.

“Rae?”

“What?”  She turned to him as if she hadn’t heard him. 

“Seriously, are you deaf?”

“How?  I couldn't hear you.”  She said dismissively. 

“Of course you could hear me.” 

_What is going on with her?_

_Why is she ignoring me?_

_Maybe she knows I like her and she’s trying to make sure I know me place…_

_Anh I’ve played it too cool for her to know about how I feel..._

_Right, so we’re back to she hates me?_

_I’m so fucking confused._

Chop was getting the game going and Rae was looking away. 

“Right, one, two, three!”  Chop spun the bottle

“Ohhhhh!”  Some of the people playing laughed. 

Finn noticed the grin Rae gave Archie when he got kissed by a guy in the first round of spin the bottle. 

Finn wished he and Archie could talk about it later.   He wished Archie could tell him if it was a good kiss, if Barney was hot, if Barney was someone Archie wanted to try it on with…

But his worried for Archie were taking a back seat tonight.

Tonight was for trying it on with Rae – he was going to give it his best shot. 

“So… so who's this Danny guy then?”  He had to know more. 

“What's it to you?”

_What’s it to me…?_

_It’s fucking everything to me…_

_Are you gonna get back with him?_

_Why did you dump him?_

_Did he hurt you?_

_Do still have feelings for him?_

_Was he great in bed?_

_Is that the kind of guy you like?_

_Do I even have the slightest chance?_

“It's nowt to me, I just wondered what school he went to or if he's from around here.”  Finn managed to sound calm and disinterested. 

“No, he's not from around here.” 

_I can’t make head or tails out of the way she’s answering… the distance she’s putting between us._

_I don’t get it._

_And then… if he’s not from around here - where is he from?_

_Who is he?  What’s his story?_

He sipped his beer thoughtfully while Chop spun the bottle again. 

It landed on the girl he’d spoken to in the kitchen… Finn remembered that her name was Simone.  He saw the way she was looking at him, when the bottle landed on her and he looked down, not wanting her to get any ideas – he wasn’t interested. 

“Go and get me a drink.”  Rae said suddenly. 

“What?”

_Oh, so now you’re not ignoring me!_

“Quick, now.”  She insisted.

But Finn was annoyed at how she’d been behaving. 

“Get your own drink.”  He answered and instantly regretted it.

_Maybe if I got her drink she’d talk to me a bit more?_

But he didn’t have chance to wonder about that – the bottle had landed on him. 

He gave Rae a quick look and she looked as sour as she had for the whole party. 

He had been hoping to see jealousy. 

_Fuck… this isn’t going as planned…._

_But when will it ever go as planned with Rae?_

_Maybe I should just give up?_

He got up and kissed Simone.  She was obviously into it a lot more than he was.  he supposed there was a chance for some action tonight there if he wanted it… and with Chloe… But not with the girl he was keen on. 

He sat back down, not wanting to look at Rae.  He felt a bit embarrassed by the kiss. 

“Right, right, no messing about.”  Chop said loudly, “We're upping the stakes.”  He declared. 

_Oh what now Chop?_

Finn was feeling a bit wiped out. 

Worry for his gran, concern for Archie’s boy kissing, and this whole confusing mess with Rae was getting him down. 

He ignored Simone winking at him and looked down, trying not to be too moody – this was a part after all.

_I think I just have to accept I don’t have a chance with her._

“Couples have to go into the landing cupboard together, for a minute.”  Chop told them the new rule.

_And I bet it’ll be Rae and Danny in there._

“No exceptions, you cheeky little-” But Chop was cut off.

“Ohhhhhhh!”  Everyone laughed.  Except for Rae and Finn. 

Archie spun the bottle, Finn already knowing how this was gonna go. 

“Raemundo!”  Chop said delightedly as the bottle landed on her.

_Of course…_

Finn tried not to shake his head.

“She's only going in the cupboard of lust!”  Chop continued merrily.  “But who will it be with?”

He spun the bottle again.

Finn knew t was just supposed to be some stupid game.  But he didn’t want it to be anyone else but him with her. 

_It’s daft…._

_It’s not fair to her either – she can be with whoever she wants…_

_I just want it to be me…_

_I want her to want me…_

_It’s stupid Finn…_

_I wonder who she actually wants it to be?_

Finn had just convinced himself that it would land on Danny or Archie or Chop-

When the bottle landed on him. 

Finn was standing before he realised he was standing. 

He had to go into the cupboard with her. 

_This is fine._

_It’s fine…_

_It’s exactly what you wanted._

_Are you happy now?_

_You’re going into the closet with a girl you fucking adore… and she’s been a total knob to you all fucking day…_

His hands were shaking as he opened the closet door.

She came in after him and the room was far too small for the 2 of them. 

She was so close.

His eyes fell to her breasts as he closed the closet door. 

His instinct was to lean in.

_Oh god I wanna kiss her so much…_

He ached to touch her.

He was so nervous, he looked up at her face.  She was looking down.

_She didn’t lean in Finn…_

_She don’t want this._

_She don’t want you…_

“Rae?”

_What am I even gonna say to her…?_

_There’s so much I wanna say, but I’m not good with words…_

“Yeah?”

“Why are you being such a complete knobhead to me?”  The words were out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying.

_Yes, that seems right…_

_Why are you acting like this, girl?_

“Sorry?”

_Don’t give me that confused look._

“Did I do something to annoy you?”

_Cos if I did I can fix it…_

“No, I just-”

“Then why are you mugging me off all the time?”  Finn knew his emotions were getting the better of him.  and not just huis emotions for her, but also his worry for his gran too.  He knew he should close his mouth.  “I apologised for being a bit funny when they first met, but that's because I didn't know you.”  But he couldn’t seem to close his mouth.  “Now, one minute you're dead nice to me and the next you're just being totally rude.”

_OK… it’s ok… it had to be said…_

“I'm not trying to be rude.”  She looked bewildered. 

“Then maybe it just comes naturally to you.”  He snarked. 

_Alright, maybe that were a bit much – fix it Finn._

“I thought we were getting on.”  He added.

“30 seconds left, lovebirds!”  Chop called.

_Oh fuck off Chop…_

“It's not as simple as that, is it?”  She said.

_What does that mean?_

“It is as simple as that, Rae.  Either we're friends or we're not friends.”

He was surprised by just how much this really meant to him. 

He’d been well aware of his feelings for her – but now he knew that they were much deeper than he’d known - even though he’d told himself that he loved her…

“Maybe I don't want to be your friend.”

Finn’s stomach fell out.  Like the lurch of being on a roller coaster. 

“You what?”

_I can’t have hears that right…_

“Maybe… I don't want to be your friend.”  She said it clearer the second time. 

“Why not?”

He couldn’t believe it. 

All of his plans

_Stupid plans._

All of his hopes.

_Stupid hopes._

All of his feelings.

_Stupid feelings._

It was all nothing. 

Chop opened the door, but Finn was still wanting some sort of answer from Rae. 

But there was nothing.

He didn’t remember squeezing out the cupboard past Rae and Chop. 

He didn’t remember ending up outside.

But he was thankful for the cool air. 

He stood there just taking deep breaths for a few minutes, trying to make sense of everything. 

HE decided to sit and have a cigarette.

That led to 2 cigarettes.

And a third before he started to feel like his brain was finally catching up with his racing emotions.

_Ok, so she definitely hates me._

_And I was fool enough to fall for a girl who hates me._

_Maybe I spent too long being still and unimpressed and boring and… sad._

_Maybe happiness isn’t for me._

_Maybe I don’t get to lie in bed holding her hand, talking about some music thing we both like._

_Maybe I don’t get to… kiss her and…_

Oh but these thoughts weren’t helping so he took a deep breath and tried not to think. 

He looked down at his watch.  He was a few minutes early for calling his grandmother.

He supposed he could go and try to make nice with people.  Try and talk and have fun and blend in…

He decided to have another ciggie then head back up to Rae’s mum’s room to call his gran.

He went through the house carefully and quietly; he didn’t really want to be seen and stopped.  He didn’t want to have to smile and pretend the party was banging. 

But he knew that talking to his gran would help – she’d help him make sense of this.  She’d tell him some great wisdom that’d put him back on the right track. 

He was smiling softly when he picked up the receiver and called the hospital. 

“Hi can I be put through to Jean Courtney’s room thanks?”  He asked and waited for the nurse to transfer him.

“Oh I’m sorry sir, Jean Courtney passed away a few hours ago.”

“What?”

“She passed away at 10.07 this evening.”  The nurse repeated.

“How?”  he asked.

“are you family?”

“Her grandson.”

“I believe it was pneumonia.”  The nurse said.

“Dies my dad know?”

“We have called her family yes.”  The nurse informed him. 

_So mum’s at home angry at me for not calling her…_

“Thank you.”  Finn said, feeling numb.

“Well if there’s nothing else…?”

“No nothing…”

“Good evening sir.”

The phone hung up and Finn stared at the wall for a long moment, the sound of the dial tone in his ear. 

He put the phone on the bed, his hand gripping it tightly and tried to keep his emotions pulled in tightly. 

He supposed he would get his shit together, then leave – go home and see his dad.  but first he had to make sure he didn’t cry in front of anyone. 

There were already tears in his eyes. 

_Get it together Finn…_

_This is the worst night of me life…_

_Keep it together Finn…_

He felt the tears on his cheeks and knew he just had to take a moment before he could leave. 

He heard the door open behind him and cursed the luck he was having tonight. 

“Finn?”

_Oh it had to be her, didn’t it?_

He turned to look at her, not knowing what to say.

“Oh shit.”  He could see that she understood what had happened and he didn’t have to say anything.  He looked away, conflicted by her presence. 

_She’s not my friend._

_She hates me._

_She don’t want nothing to do with me…_

He tried to control his emotions as she closed the door and crossed the room to him.

“Oh, Finn, I'm so sorry.”

He felt her sit down on the bed beside him. 

He was determined to stay strong.  To be stoic. 

She wasn’t his friend – he shouldn’t be seeking comfort from her. 

But he felt her hand on his back.  Heard her whisper-

“Sorry.”

And felt her pulling him into her arms.

And he went.  He gladly went to her arms, finding the comfort he needed instantly, just by feeling her arms around him. 

He cried. 

“Oh, it's all right.”  She soothed, stroking his back gently as he clung to her.

It was a long time before he stopped crying.

“Sorry.”  He whispered, his voice coarse with emotion.

“Oh no, it’s alright Finn.”  Rae said.  “Let me get you a blanket.”  She went to the cupboard and came back with a warm blanket and put it around his shoulders.  The way she did it, with such kindness, so much careful thought of how she placed it… He could almost convince himself she cared about him. 

He didn’t know when she would want to go – to get back to her party.  But he was tired now, so he decided to lie down.  He supposed he’d go home tomorrow as he originally planned. 

But when he laid down, Rae stayed seated on the bed.

_What’s she doing?_

_Why doesn’t she leave to hang with her friends?_

“Stay?”  He asked in a small voice. 

“Alright.”  She said softly.  He watched her grab another blanket and then lie down next to him. 

They lay next to each other for a while, staring up at the ceiling. 

Finn was exhausted, and he closed his eyes, falling into a fitful sleep that lasted an hour or so. 

When he woke up he saw Izzy at the bottom of the bed, sleeping peacefully and Rae was beside him, her eyes open. 

He wondered if she’d slept at all. 

He was still exhausted and he thought about getting some more sleep, but he knew he couldn’t.  His emotions were too messy to let him sleep anymore at the moment.

But he felt calm overall – they were a peaceful mess, not a chaotic mess.  Like the paint already on the canvas, rather than the paint being thrown at the canvas – all was still now, although the picture remained unclear. 

“I thought you weren't having a party.”  He said in a soft voice.  She turned her head to look at him.

“I wanted to piss my mum off.”  She answered. 

_Fair enough._

“Are you alright?”  She asked him. 

“Yeah, I suppose.”  He wasn’t alright, but he knew he would be.  “You'd have liked my nan. 

She was always talking about something.”  He couldn’t help but grin. 

“What are you trying to say?”  She raised her head to look at him.

_I love the way that crease comes up between her eyebrows…_

“Nothing.”  He said with a fond smile, “Just you're always banging on about it.”

“You cheeky bastard-” She said with a grin.

“No, in a good way.”  He returned the grin, “I like it.”  He confessed, his stomach doing a backflip.  “I like talking to you.  And I don't like talking to anybody.” 

_Maybe this is the way to do it?  No plans, no schemes… just… honesty… just talking to her, getting to know her… let it grow naturally?_

_Or maybe she’ll never feel like I do… but I’d hate to not have her friendship either way…_

She scrunched his nose at her and he scrunched his nose at her.

_I love how she does stuff like that…_

_I love her so much…_

“So… are we alright?”

It made him anxious to ask – but he had to know. 

_Are we friends Rae?_

“Yeah.  We're alright.”  She answered.

It was one of the best nights of his life sleeping next to her.

So much so that the clean up the next morning was positively wonderful.

Finn managed to crack a grin as they erased all traces of the party from Rae’s house.  He’d tell the others about his gran’s death later – when he wouldn’t cry just thinking about it. 

Later on in the morning he saw Rae taking care of Danny.  He didn’t know what was wrong – but he wasn’t alright.

_She’s so strong.  She just cares for everyone._

He was surprised to realise that his admiration for her was growing by the minute. 

And he was glad to know he was part of the group of people she looked after. 

She was his friend. 

And even though he wanted more, he was accepting that maybe that was all they could have.  And that was ok.  That was precious. 

_Don’t mean I can’t try it on sometimes though…_

He though as he got up to leave her house. 

“I'll give you a ring this week, yeah?”  He asked her – keener than ever to keep talking to her.

“Alright, cool.”  She answered and opened her arms up for a hug when he did. 

_Fuck it – go for it Finn._

He leaned in to kiss her, but instantly knew that was a mistake – Chloe and Danny were in the room. 

So he took aim at her cheek and kissed her.

Too quickly, and he forgot to hug her as well as kiss her… but he’d finally gotten his lips on her.

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

_I did it!_

He left Rae’s place feeling elated, knowing that from here they could build on their friendship.  He knew he’d get to know her better, get to talk to her.  and maybe one day he’d get to kiss her again… but that was for the future.

Today was for the moment his lips had touched her cheek. 

 

 

 


	31. Day 31 - Gift fic

 

There once was a fic writer named Emma. 

She wrote long rambling stories about all sorts of things, both fanfic and not.  But her favourite fandom was the My Mad Fat Diary fandom.  Emus literally were the best in her eyes. 

A lot of things happened in her life.  Mental illness, deaths, illness, money woes… and her fanfic writing suffered.  Staying in contact with her emus suffered. 

But slowly Emma started to claw her way out of that. 

She’s still nowhere near back to her old self, and she may never be.  Every day is a struggle.

But lots of emus supported her whole-heartedly. 

So now wants to thank those emus and every emu.

But she doesn’t know how to… other than to give you something that you’ve all been waiting for, for over 2 years.  It probably won’t live up to expectations, and she did have to cut it in half to get it out now, rather than keep ploughing through it to end it where she originally intended – and it’s much shorter than you’re all used to – I’m really sorry about that.  But everyone has been waiting for so very long – so really, it’s time. 

She also has to say – thank you for waiting so very patiently… it’s coming tomorrow. 

You know what I’m talking about. 

:D 

So this is for all the emus. 

Love you all!

Sorry it took so long!

Sorry if it doesn’t meet your expectations!

 

Ps, including the words I wrote for the poly fic and this gift fic coming out tomorrow, I wrote over 80,000 words for this challenge in under a month (I started it late and finished it early) – go me!

this had been quite a ride doing this monthly challenge thing

I’m exhausted! hahahaha


End file.
